Crossdressing/Transgender Megathread v. There is an unicorn under my dress.
10,001 replies, posted
What the actual fuck.
[QUOTE=T-Sonar.0;35571794]fuck everything man, really
my mom called me cuz she read my email and she thinks im confused and i just want to be a crossdresser. i tell her no, fucking over and over, and she thinks im mistaken. she won't call me jennifer, and she made up a whole bunch of excuses (i.e. the crap you're eating at college is poisoning your mind and clogging it up, you know you're trans when you're just a child) and i call her out on it and she doesn't fucking get it. she said im not because i never had any girl mannerisms that tell her im trans, and she thinks she knows fucking everything because "IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON TO NOT NOTICE THINGS HURR." she says its just her "observation" but its clear to see she's just being a transphobic bitch or whatever. she wants me to go to that therapist and do a one year plan of losing weight and taking care of myself because she thinks im a handsome boy and i'll like what i see when i start to look better and shit. fuck her >_<
fuck this world too
FUCK EVERYTHING[/QUOTE]
Those are all standard steps of denial, and it's why you need to speak with her in person. She'll come around. Speaking to a therapist is a great idea, and, if they see that what you're feeling is real, it will make it easier for your mother to accept.
Well, that fucking sucks. If she's one of those who think you're gonna get married to a lady and have kids, then kill her.
No, really, kill 'er.
Just tell your doctor or whoever about it, and hopefully things will get sorted out, because that's just beyond fucked up.
She wants me to do this "1 year plan" of me taking care of myself (losing weight, eating right, exercise) and talking to a therapist to get my mind cleared. By 2013 (like September... so fuck) if I still feel this way she'll help me in becoming a girl. I guess she thinks if I do all of that I'll like myself, stop being depressed, and won't be trans anymore. But god damn, a year and a half of having to feel like this? And I know that because this is fresh its going to get worse. Just... fuck me.
Is there anyway I can get her to understand well? It's clear that she doesn't get it. She needs websites, someone, or something that can educate her. She thinks if I don't do x, y, z, etc then I'm not a girl. It's annoying.
"well im sorry my surroundings growing up taught me that things like this are something to hide away and be ashamed of, ill go back to doing just that now" seems like a fair response to that, only less bitchy and crap
[QUOTE=T-Sonar.0;35571794]fuck everything man, really
my mom called me cuz she read my email and she thinks im confused and i just want to be a crossdresser. i tell her no, fucking over and over, and she thinks im mistaken. she won't call me jennifer, and she made up a whole bunch of excuses (i.e. the crap you're eating at college is poisoning your mind and clogging it up, you know you're trans when you're just a child) and i call her out on it and she doesn't fucking get it. she said im not because i never had any girl mannerisms that tell her im trans, and she thinks she knows fucking everything because "IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON TO NOT NOTICE THINGS HURR." she says its just her "observation" but its clear to see she's just being a transphobic bitch or whatever. she wants me to go to that therapist and do a one year plan of losing weight and taking care of myself because she thinks im a handsome boy and i'll like what i see when i start to look better and shit. fuck her >_<
fuck this world too
FUCK EVERYTHING[/QUOTE]
My mom had a very similar reaction when I came out to her.
She was very adamant that she would have seen signs if I was trans, like I didn't play with "girl" toys when I was little, and other petty things like that.
So, I basically did my best to explain that those things are primarily socially constructed and aren't actually inherent to any gender, and that there isn't one universal trans* narrative.
With a little backup from my therapist, she eventually came around to accepting that I was trans.[SUP] [SUB]Still working to get her to accept that I'm her [I]daughter[/I], however.[/SUB][/SUP]
[QUOTE=Herb;35572420]My mom had a very similar reaction when I came out to her.
She was very adamant that she would have seen signs if I was trans, like I didn't play with "girl" toys when I was little, and other petty things like that.
So, I basically did my best to explain that those things are primarily socially constructed and aren't actually inherent to any gender, and that there isn't one universal trans* narrative.
With a little backup from my therapist, she eventually came around to accepting that I was trans.[SUP] [SUB]Still working to get her to accept that I'm her [I]daughter[/I], however.[/SUB][/SUP][/QUOTE]
She used to buy my brother and I girl toys because she thought they were better than guy toys. But still, how the fuck can I get it through her head that one doesn't have to have "girl mannerisms" to be trans. Hell, I even TOLD her that my behavior and shit is all fabricated around them and she doesn't believe me because she's known me for 19 years and all my mannerisms were always male.
She even says that behavior/mannerisms is something you're born with. I don't think she believes that there are social influences to behavior.
Fuck, that is just plain bullshit. I'm sorry to hear you are going through it. But I am fucking proud you actually went through and told her, I'm still quite a long way til that bit.
All I can really say is don't give up and, like Herb said, try and get back-up from a therapist. I'm sure that eventually she will be worn down, sure she may kick up a fuss at first, but I would hope that If she saw how happy you were as a girl than she would eventually come to understand.
T-Sonar.0: Hey, I just wanted to pop in and encourage to you keep at it and stuff... I'm sure you don't need to be told that but I just wanna let you know that you have my best and I hope she comes round to the idea eventually... So yeah, good luck :D
[QUOTE=T-Sonar.0;35572533]She used to buy my brother and I girl toys because she thought they were better than guy toys. But still, how the fuck can I get it through her head that one doesn't have to have "girl mannerisms" to be trans. Hell, I even TOLD her that my behavior and shit is all fabricated around them and she doesn't believe me because she's known me for 19 years and all my mannerisms were always male.
She even says that behavior/mannerisms is something you're born with. I don't think she believes that there are social influences to behavior.[/QUOTE]
Parents like to think that they know everything about their kids
Better show them just how girly you can be!
[QUOTE=Rammlied;35570917]That made me think that it'd be awkward to go to a school reunion
then I remember I hated everyone from school and I'd never go to a reunion anyway[/QUOTE]
Man I was the awkward nerd in elementary school then I'll go back as a hot chick imagine their faces
(ok not hot but still)
[QUOTE=Chickens!;35567721]6'2" Size 12 :([/QUOTE]
6'1''
being tall is rad imo
let's be tall buddies
Well then. Lets be same height buddies.
I fucking hate the "They didn't play with girl toys' or 'play with other girls' shit. You're expected to play with boy toys and play with boys and do boy things, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT GIRLS DO AND WHAT GIRLS TOYS ARE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PLAY WITH THEM JESUS FUCK
I've calmed down a bit, let me try to make the situation clear.
To be fair, I can see where she's coming from. I've always acted as an "I don't give two fucks" guy. I think she's afraid that I'm making a rash choice out of other factors in my life such as my weight and thinking that garbage food (I have been eating poorly ever since I moved up here) is poisoning my body and the crap is just making me down on myself. I haven't exercised either. But regardless, I think that mainly is because I never tried to be myself ever. I also never really cared about my looks. I've always tried to act and behave like my older brother. He's the "I don't give two fucks" kinda guy. And, I wanted to be just like him. The Internet opened me up to a lot of new things I've never seen before, and as a result it did give me a little more independence. I started liking certain things, being part of a certain community, etc. Yet, I still wasn't myself and I had a fabricated personality towards everything and started bashing and being a troll for whatever reason to people for liking things that even I liked. And I continued acting like my brother among friends and family and as a result, I ended up gaining douchey friends and hurting the nice ones by being that "I don't give a fuck" guy.
Now, I'm not going to name anyone, but there was someone here who did start a relationship behind my back with my boyfriend a few months ago. And when I found out, I was so devastated. Later, I found out that she had done it to save my BF from me because I was a major asshole who hurt him a lot. I may not have much memory about treating him badly, but I had enough evidence and some memory to know I was. And as such, the "I don't give a fuck" guy in me died. And then a few months later came these feelings of being trans. I thought maybe I was so devastated from hearing I was a tool and being stabbed in the back that maybe that influenced me to be apart from being that asshole guy and instead be a girly girl. But, I really truly believe that the old me died and the real me finally came out. The non-fabricated part of me. And this me wants to be a girl... a happy one. Ever since then I actually have started seeing the flaws of my body, face, and the poor decisions I made in my life (personality wise, I never did anything dumb).
My mom doesn't know about the whole incident in regards to me being a tool to people online and to my BF or about the incident with being cheated on behind my back. I feel like, especially after this garbage, she'd make up some excuse that I want to be a girl because I went through a really traumatic break up. However, I feel like my story will be enough evidence to a therapist to understand where I'm coming from and maybe, if I authorize him or her (my doctor has yet to call me with the names of a few therapists) to tell my mom my story, she'll be more understanding. At the same time, maybe my therapist could educate her on EXACTLY what it means to be trans and how it affects a person's life style.
What do you all think? I feel like if I try to tell her this now she'll think I'm mistaken or whatever because its me, not some professional.
[editline]6:47 PM[/editline]
Damn, I just realized this sounds like a very bizarre made up story. And what really sucks about that is she knows I have a creative mind and I'm studying to be a writer for the Entertainment Industry in college. She'll probably think I made this shit up and fooled a therapist.
I would be inclined to say, try not going through the effort of having to explain your past too much, but focus more on the now. By this I mean, focus on what makes you happy about being the new girly you. Why is it important to you, how it makes you feel content.
Agreed. Focus on the present and how happy you'll be in the future. Just be yourself to those who think shit is wrong.
I don't think I could muster up the courage to tell anyone face-to-face that I might be transexual, so I might ah well start dropping hints.
I probably will have to explain my past anyway. If I tell the therapist that my mom is giving me all these excuses he or she will probably ask why. I'll have to tell him about the truth that my personality was always fabricated around my brother.
Wow, I thought it was going to go well.
[editline]14th April 2012[/editline]
Christ I feel sorry for you. My mum didn't deny it one bit and helped me to get to a therapist.
honestly, i'd just say be persistent about it. also talk to her in person. maybe even buy some books. at least, even if you have to keep living the way you are now for another year, you'll get it eventually.
You're 19. She shouldn't be able to dictate whether or not you can get this.
She'll have to accept it eventually.
Yay clothes shopping tomorrow c: Hopefully I don't get really nervous and buy the wrong stuff :P
[img]http://i.imgur.com/TAfn7.jpg[/img]
Don't look at me I was pressured to post it.
[QUOTE=HorizoN;35576257][img]http://i.imgur.com/TAfn7.jpg[/img]
Don't look at me I was pressured to post it.[/QUOTE]
"I look too bulky/manly/whatever!!!" "I'll never be close to able to look like a girl!"
No, you look good.
[QUOTE=J. Jett;35576541]"I look too bulky/manly/whatever!!!" "I'll never be close to able to look like a girl!"
No, you look good.[/QUOTE]
Agreed, she's cute c:
[QUOTE=J. Jett;35576541]"I look too bulky/manly/whatever!!!" "I'll never be close to able to look like a girl!"
No, you look good.[/QUOTE]
Def, yo.
You should really not be so hard on yourself HorizoN, you look great
you're not allowed to disagree with me
I did an outline of my head in photoshop.
[img]http://puu.sh/pFqf[/img]
Am I a good artist?
[QUOTE=retsamdeew;35576600][img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/getout1.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
Get out.
Hey there everyone, thought i'd pop in and educate you all on a "wonderful" woman by the name of Janice Raymond, AKA, the Women who is the reason why tons of health insurance programs don't cover transgendered treatments oh AND is responsible for insuring that trans people did not recieve financial aid from the United States Federal Government.
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janice_...of_transphobia[/url]
If you need a good summary on how she feels about trans-women, her book was called "The Transsexual Empire: the making of the she-male."
And while yes, she may campaign against exploiting Women (while demonizing consensual sex workers, but that's a whole other story) she does it for White, Cis-gendered Women, so I don't consider that to justify her hatred by any means.
Hope you all were informed by this in some way.
[QUOTE=QueenSasha24;35576773]Hey there everyone, thought i'd pop in and educate you all on a "wonderful" woman by the name of Janice Raymond, AKA, the Women who is the reason why tons of health insurance programs don't cover transgendered treatments oh AND is responsible for insuring that trans people did not recieve financial aid from the United States Federal Government.
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janice_Raymond#Writings_on_transsexualism_and_accusations_of_transphobia[/url]
If you need a good summary on how she feels about trans-women, her book was called "The Transsexual Empire: the making of the she-male."
And while yes, she may campaign against exploiting Women (while demonizing consensual sex workers, but that's a whole other story) she does it for White, Cis-gendered Women, so I don't consider that to justify her hatred by any means.
Hope you all were informed by this in some way.[/QUOTE]
[quote]Janice G. Raymond (born January 24, 1943) is a [b]feminist activist[/b] known for her work against violence, sexual exploitation and the "medical abuse" of women, as well as for her writings and [b]activism against transsexualism.[/b][/quote]
Ah yes, transphobic feminists. The best part is that they're actually [i]supporting[/i] patriarchy with their transphobia instead of being against it as they claim to do.
I've actually been wracking my brain trying to remember this woman's name so I could reference her in a research paper. very helpful, much obliged
also
[quote=wiki]For the Playboy Playmate, see Janice Raymond (model)[/quote]
heh
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