For men who keep falling in love with female friends
399 replies, posted
Thanks, OP. I'm experiencing the same thing right now, and the "other guy" moment was when I found out she was having cybersex with one of my internet friends from across the country. This was after we had hung out, like you said, and hugged... even kissed once. It completely destroyed me, because, as you said, it has happened numerous times before.
:sigh:
i like the total misconception that fp has of what a "nice guy" is
there's a giant difference between being a nice guy and a pussy, most of fp is in the pussy group.
I described that in my post, but most of these kids are so delusional that they simply chose to ignore it.
This thread is annoying. It's reminding me of just how I was at the beginning of the year. Blegh. Makes me shudder thinking about all that bullshit.
Oh, btw, all of you except Maverick and a few others are delusional.
oh and btw love advice is the totally cool place to come and get advice (wow) for this kind of shit
Thanks OP.
My ex told me "I don't love you, but I want us to stay friends".
I'm fucking sheading in tears in front of her and she says that (super mega hardcore extreme rose-tinted goggles, fuck me).
Eh, oh well. It's all bullshit :)
The more eye contact you make with someone, the more likely you are to fall for them. So OP's right. Spend lots of quality time with a girl you get on really well with, even if you try to play it cool in your head, you WILL fall for her... it's kind of a physical inevitability. Not saying that you should avoid eye contact though :v: that was just an example of the amount your feelings are influenced by your subconscious rather than conscious thought.
Another awesome thread by the Big Dumb American.[B][URL="http://www.facepunch.com/members/205107-Big-Dumb-American"][/URL][/B]
I fucking love you.
But you know, in the [i]good friend[/i] way.
Kidding aside, great read.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;25933059]What a dumbass.
What do you do? You ask them the fuck out. It's that goddamn easy, holy shit, you kids make a big deal out of the smallest shit. Who cares if you've been friends for a long time? There's no rule saying you can't ask out friends. The worst possible thing anyone could ever do is the retarded "spill your guts" crap that all of you autistic idiots tend to do. When you ask someone out, you're inferring that you are interested and have feelings for them, you don't need to make shit awkward and pull that "Hurr I like you" crap out.[/QUOTE]
Asking a friend out makes it akward in that if they say no it can be akward after. It's happened to me before, granted it wasn't that akward but i've been on the verge of asking someone out then finding out that they like someone else, there isn't really a surefire way when it comes to relationships. For the love of god though avoid situations like the OP's.
[QUOTE=MachiniOs;25941358]Asking a friend out makes it akward in that if they say no it can be akward after. It's happened to me before, granted it wasn't that akward but i've been on the verge of asking someone out then finding out that they like someone else, there isn't really a surefire way when it comes to relationships. For the love of god though avoid situations like the OP's.[/QUOTE]
actually girls don't really get that awkward feeling because they expect you to act normal if she says no, honestly it's only as awkward as you make it
Nice to see some decent threads still be posted in GD
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;25938153]Ahahaha, saw this coming.
The problem here is that you are mistaking nice guys for pussies. Despite what you might believe, you are [b]not[/b] a nice guy. You are just an asshole without balls, as is pretty much every other kid that gets rejected by every girl they try to engage with and then goes on the internet crying about how nice guys never win.
"Nice guys" aren't guys that treat a girl like a queen and get down to suck her metaphorical dick whenever she wants it. They don't sit there and bitch to her about why is she still with that jerk-off boyfriend when she could be with them.
You're no less of an asshole than those jocks and douches you despise. Everything is about you. You don't really care about girls, you want their companionship so [i]you[/i] can feel good. You sit there in stagnant relationships so [i]you[/i] can feel good about being a nice guy or whatever the fuck you think you are. When a girl realizes that you're a fucking creeper that jacks off to her facebook photos, you cry about it for a week or so and then move on like nothing happened, because it was never about her in the first place anyways.
The main thing that separates "nice guys" from everyone else that claims to be nice guys but are really pussies is the fact that nice guys have self respect. When it comes down to girls, I'm a legitimate nice guy. I treat them respectfully, but in the same light, I also treat myself respectfully. If I'm doing something important and a girl calls me wanting to cry her heart out, I'm not going to put my life on hold for something girls do on a regular basis. If I have already made plans with the guys and she wants to do something, I'll either decline or attempt to reschedule the date.
Girls don't find pussies like you attractive because you're pussies. Anything they want, you give it to them. You put them up on a pedestal and treat them like queens. Girls don't want to be with some loser kid that worships them, they want to be with someone that treats them like a normal human being.
Aaaaand a little side note:
"You're like a brother to me."
"I don't want to ruin our friendship."
And other excuses girls use are not truthful. If you legitimately believe it when a girl says those things, you're retarded. If a girl actually liked you, she'd date you in a heartbeat regardless of how long you've been close friends. What a girl is telling you when she says those things is "No. I'm not interested" and that's the bottom line. Girls will rarely be straightforward and blunt with you, they all recycle the same excuses when they are rejecting guys. So stop crying about how you being friends with her ruined your chances, because it was really just you being you that ruined your chances.
Idiots.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that's all essentially true. It's not because they're actually saint-like people, it's because they're soft as hell when it comes to women, and as such are generally awful with wooing them. It's a flaw of the "nice guy's" nature to want to do anything to please whatever woman he likes, or women in general, and then be totally bewildered and hurt when they're not interested. But it's not like they're actually bad people, scheming and conniving to get with women. It's easy as a third party to mistake the actions of a "nice guy," which to him seem like great acts of compassion and selflessness, as creepy ploys to get into a girl's pants.
But it's not like they're actively plotting or anything. Most "nice guys" really are just nice guys, or at least are really trying to be, and are always bewildered about why nobody seems to appreciate everything they're doing.
Of course, that doesn't really change anything. The sad truth for everybody who considers himself a nice guy is that we don't get laid much, and are generally pretty lonely until we get older and find a woman who actually wants to settle down and lead a peaceful, quiet life. Sorry, but most of us are doomed to quiet monogamy in the suburbs, and will miss out on flings with young secretaries and trysts with club girls.
[QUOTE=Dysentery;25941408]actually girls don't really get that awkward feeling because they expect you to act normal if she says no, honestly it's only as awkward as you make it[/QUOTE]
As I said there's no surefire way.
OP is useful and informative.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;25937025]Any relationship has to be rooted in friendship; the trick is learning how to not let every friendship be rooted in a desire for a relationship. I love having girls as friends, because girls are the only sort of people I can actually open up to in person. The hard part is that every time folks like me want to be a friend to a girl, and [i]just[/i] a friend, they first have to win the fight against falling in love with her. And they've got to be alert, because it's always threatening to come back.[/QUOTE]
So basically kids, don't let the friendship get on for too long without the romance or you'll be "just friends", ask her out, there's nothing wrong with that. If she enjoys it you'll hit the big score, if she doesn't enjoy it as much as you did then you can go on being friends. Pulling the hurr, I like you crap never works, it will only scare them away.
Although when you do make a move (e.g. after a good date) to kiss her, don't forget to ask for permission as softly as possible. There's nothing worse than kissing a girl when she doesn't want to be kissed and most likely your friendship will end if that wasn't her intention.
[QUOTE=MachiniOs;25941894]As I said there's no surefire way.[/QUOTE]
surefire? of course not
proven to work most of the time? yes
Mine went the opposite way as well, I'm in need of some advice from OP. Most people never get to relationships in friend-zone, but i went from relationship to friend-zone
After dating my ex for 12 months, we broke it off after realizing that she has a lot of problems and that i can be a little possessive. Our relationship went perfectly well for 9 months or so, then started to completely crumble down. She experienced many health-problems and struggled to maintain her 5.0 GPA and cheated on me for another guy one night after getting drunk at a party (she apologized and it never happened again), all was forgiven, but you could obviously tell shit was going down.
We're broken up and she loves me as a best friend, but i still sort of love her more than just friends. We hang out often but i miss being able to hold her and kiss her. She suggests that I should move on and find another girl so that I don't attach to these lurking feelings for her, but I know while that might help, it will hurt her knowing I found another girl, and I know it'd hurt seeing her in another guys arm. She was the first girl I ever loved and we've been through it all. I mean [i]it all[/i], that's why its so hard to let go. She told me she just wants to be friends until she gets her life back on track. Not sure if that was literally or just an nice-way to say i'm not interested in you anymore.
OP, should I move on and continue with my life, her being just my friend and possibly move on for another girl i may have feelings for, or should i just continue with my life normally and let her get her life together and try to get back with her when the time is right?
[QUOTE=Zer0;25942050]Mine went the opposite way as well, I'm in need of some advice from OP. Most people never get to relationships in friend-zone, but i went from relationship to friend-zone
After dating my ex for 12 months, we broke it off after realizing that she has a lot of problems and that i can be a little possessive. Our relationship went perfectly well for 9 months or so, then started to completely crumble down. She experienced many health-problems and struggled to maintain her 5.0 GPA and cheated on me for another guy one night after getting drunk at a party (she apologized and it never happened again), all was forgiven, but you could obviously tell shit was going down.
We're broken up and she loves me as a best friend, but i still sort of love her more than just friends. We hang out often but i miss being able to hold her and kiss her. She suggests that I should move on and find another girl so that I don't attach to these lurking feelings for her, but I know while that might help, it will hurt her knowing I found another girl, and I know it'd hurt seeing her in another guys arm. She was the first girl I ever loved and we've been through it all. I mean [i]it all[/i], that's why its so hard to let go. She told me she just wants to be friends until she gets her life back on track. Not sure if that was literally or just an nice-way to say i'm not interested in you anymore.
OP, should I move on and continue with my life, her being just my friend and possibly move on for another girl i may have feelings for, or should i just continue with my life normally and let her get her life together and try to get back with her when the time is right?[/QUOTE]
you should move on. she's not the only girl in the world; getting that attached to one girl, especially while still in school is stupid. if something happens to your relationship, move on. you may think "oh that relationship was so awesome though no one can replace her!!" but it's wasting your time sitting there moping about it
and if she's telling you to move on that means move on, girls most of the time don't give off "riddles" or complex signs, they're pretty straight forward
Darn, op just makes me feel shitty right now.
I get crushes on the girls who are my friends.
I'm such a hopeless romantic.
My dad used to tell me stories where he would go up to the hottest girl in high school and would randomly ask them out. Every time he asked they would say no, not because he wasn't attractive or nice, it just took them by surprise. He told me not to make the same mistake, and so the day I introduced him to my girlfriend he said something along the lines of: "Nice work, son".
Guys, it's not impossible to make it work, you just need patience, commitment, and the ability to deal with a little bit of embarrassment if it doesn't work. I have faith in all of you.
A good piece of advice, don't give up if you see a girl in another guys arms that you like.
It's just some competition and if you really think you deserve her, prove it.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;25933059]What a dumbass.
What do you do? You ask them the fuck out. It's that goddamn easy, holy shit, you kids make a big deal out of the smallest shit. Who cares if you've been friends for a long time? There's no rule saying you can't ask out friends. The worst possible thing anyone could ever do is the retarded "spill your guts" crap that all of you autistic idiots tend to do. When you ask someone out, you're inferring that you are interested and have feelings for them, you don't need to make shit awkward and pull that "Hurr I like you" crap out.[/QUOTE]
Finally, someone on this forum who knows what to fucking to do for once. All these threads of angst-ridden love stories are not tragic, they're pathetic.
time to nut up or shut up
[QUOTE=Mr.Dounut;25942415]A good piece of advice, don't give up if you see a girl in another guys arms that you like.
It's just some competition and if you really think you deserve her, prove it.[/QUOTE]
What if the guy just happens to be your best friend though?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;25933059]What a dumbass.
What do you do? You ask them the fuck out. It's that goddamn easy, holy shit, you kids make a big deal out of the smallest shit. Who cares if you've been friends for a long time? There's no rule saying you can't ask out friends. The worst possible thing anyone could ever do is the retarded "spill your guts" crap that all of you [b]autistic-[/b][/QUOTE]
Stopped right there, you are an idiot, and now I am leaving.
Thank you for using the word Autism in a bad way you asshole :mad:
did you know you can still be nice and exciting without being a total prick and douchebag?
[IMG]http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/pourmecoffee/y0Mtvy595Evs9MXLATZDpNVs9Uv2Rd6uthcGBe19q5IEcao6jKl9ZUFLBYZj/the_more_you_know2.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Melnek;25941391][img_thumb]http://filesmelt.com/dl/1289232052936.png[/img_thumb][/QUOTE]
Or you could just buy a hooker.
[QUOTE=Sinbues;25942641]did you know you can still be nice and exciting without being a total prick and douchebag?
[img_thumb]http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/pourmecoffee/y0Mtvy595Evs9MXLATZDpNVs9Uv2Rd6uthcGBe19q5IEcao6jKl9ZUFLBYZj/the_more_you_know2.jpg[/img_thumb][/QUOTE]
did you know TaconBanana sucks and neuf and you are the only good things in it
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