[QUOTE=1chains1;23223828]Hello facepunch I do not have much time and I need a few questions answered.
Lets start at the begining because who the fuck starts anywhere else.
I have had nothing but ramen to eat for the last 3 weeks.
I was masturbating to the usual rule 34 of oats n honey brand cereal dominating captain crunch when I just couldnt contain my beast within and blew my load.
Albeit it was a little large and that was odd because I was only jacking off to cereal but everything was normal until it hit me. Then it hit me again. and again.
My fucking jizz was rebounding off the floor and bouncing back up and exploding on the bottom side of my keyboard holder splattering me with bouncy cum.
So here I was spraying spurt after spurting and feeling like the 5 dollar whore captain crunch box in front of me, oh how the captains eyes mocked me!!
Once the torment finished I stood up to go wash off only to realize that I was covered in sperm...bouncy sperm. I could not resist the thought of bouncing along at 70 miles per fucking hour and making every average joe shit himself at my awesomeness. So I walked out back and took a running leap at my wall expecting to bounce over the fence into freedom.
Well a bloody nose later I realized the semen had changed suddenly back to just normal semen. I knew that if the power of the bouncy semen could be harnessed, transportation would be born into a new era. So I have decided to conduct experiments to find the cause of the bouncey semen and how to prolong it.
Obviously my first choice of examination would be my strange diet as things like pineapple affect semen, why not ramen?
So my question to you facepunch... Can food affect semen properties other then taste?
I hope to get some enlightening data from my fellow scientists who I am positive just like me are eager to find the results!!
AND NOW I BRAVELY VENTURE FORTH INTO THE UNKNOWN TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE BOUNCING SEMEN!
-edit-
Nvm, my bad guys it wasnt bouncey semen it was just the table fan I laid upwards on the floor to keep my balls from getting sweaty while I jerked off.[/QUOTE]
this is easily the best thread I've ever seen
stop fapping to cereal
[QUOTE=1chains1;23232742]
Obviously with such erotic material at my disposal it was not long until I had reached a climax of titanian proportions.[/QUOTE]
Read that as Italian proportions.
[QUOTE=Xenoyia v3;23226686]Well, I read this thread, and I was all like "COME HERE LITTLE BOYS TOUCH MY BOOBIES." and then dan was boobies.[/QUOTE]
It's dumb posts like this that have caused you to be Perma'd twice.
this thread gives me a raging erection
epic thread would read again
Whoah. Posting in epic thread
I laughed. Several times. Amazing OP.
If only more people would think like you...
won my heart.
This thread inspired me to jerk off to cereal.
Epic thread.
This thread changed me
I so happy
:golfclap:
I lol'd.
this thread is going to give me nightmares.....
Then why the fuck do you keep coming back you've posted in here like 3 times already.
Fucking weirdo.
because i'm weird lol
posting in this thread because its epic.... however i feel as though the college acceptance dudes will find this... somehow...
we are being observed.
Oh god, I thought I was the only one.
Bumping for great justice. Found it in my history and lol'd all over again.
[QUOTE=Handsome Pete;23245558]
It's dumb posts like this that have caused you to be Perma'd twice.[/QUOTE]
And he wonders why no one likes him.
Continuation of the events that ocurred my fellow scientists.
Covered in such an amazing material I knew I could not resist some more experimentation to the limits of this new super skeet.
[IMG]http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8845/slide1lmh.jpg[/IMG]
Obviously I would need an open enviroment for such testing to be unhindered so naturally I chose my backyard! So there I was on the cusp of a new age of transportation!
[IMG]http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/2879/slide2i.jpg[/IMG]
Only to be struck down by disaster.
[IMG]http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/7894/slide3qa.jpg[/IMG]
Like any scientist I calmly handled the pain and analyzed it in the cold calculating precision I am known for.
[IMG]http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/6466/slide4o.jpg[/IMG]
Obviously something had gone horribly wrong, but what!!!
Further review will be needed.
-edit-
for the sake of smooth story telling I have combined all three posts into my original op.
oh, my, god
Dude thats awesome...
I've heard Dr Pepper does funny things to your sperm.
I would try that but I am diabetic, its a real disease with doctors and everything just like nymphomania.
Diabeetus
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.