• Strange bathroom rituals
    59 replies, posted
Good god OP made me lol. I just pull a shit 'n run, y'know? Run in, shit, and leave that stanky bathroom.
I take a shit in public bathrooms standing up. Its a habit I've grown into, and sometimes in airports, depending on the shoes, I will switch my pants around to it looks like I'm standing taking a piss, then take a huge shit, I only do this if there is one other person in the bathroom though. Its so funny seeing their reaction when I exit.
Whenever I need to do a 'number 2,' I always ALWAYS do them shirtless. Whenever in public it's always: unfasten with right hand aim with left hand
I don't shit in public restrooms most of the time. Don't piss in urinal. People will make fun of my penis. I only wipe with 2 bundles of towel paper. (Unless it's a REALLY BIG SHIT) Oh, and when I'm REALLY CONSTIPATED, I start stripping as I sweat over my poo.
Look at the used paper before folding it and throwing it away.
There is always, ALWAYS a deck of cards on the back of my toilet, sometimes i pull out a small table and play solitaire while on the loo.
I always dump before taking a shower... while it's on.
At public restrooms, if there is already piss on the toilet seat, (usually when I need to shit) In smite of those fuckers, I simply piss all over the seat, and find somewhere else to shit.
I stand up when wiping because I don't want to put my damn hands in the toilet. Unless of course it was diarrhea and standing up would make it... drip.
At home, While I take a shit. I browse facepunch on my Ipod touch :fuckyou:
I repeat warm up exercises I learned in elementary gym class while I pee.
I usually mouth-breathe before even entering a public restroom. It always smells so horrible in there. My god, I'm getting disturbed just thinking about it. When I'm done, I flush with my foot. And then after washing my hands very, very thoroughly, I use my paper towel or whatever the fuck I've got to dry my hands with to open the door. I have to do this awkward maneuver where I hold the door open with my toilet-flushing foot while I reach back inside the bathroom to throw the balled up paper towel thingy away. I probably look like a total dipshit doing all this, but whatever. It makes me feel clean.
In public bathrooms, if there is an odd number of stalls, I go in the one directly in the center. if the center one is occupied, I go in the first one on the right.
Oh, and on a slightly relevant note, is it really possible to get herpes from a toilet seat?
[QUOTE=Shoupie;18809139]Oh, and on a slightly relevant note, is it really possible to get herpes from a toilet seat?[/QUOTE] Yep :aaaaa:
I always take my pants completely off before taking a shit.
I poke my poos with my cousins hair brush
For some reason I find pissing in the shower relaxing.
Always bring a book
I jerk it
I take an action figure to play with and take my pants completely off when I poop.
I try and warm up my hands if they're cold.
[QUOTE=40kplayer;18810903]I try and warm up my hands if they're cold.[/QUOTE] You pee on them don't you.
Hum so everyone can hear because the echo is really loud, it like amplifies the sound.
I sit down to pee.
if i'm going during nighttime, i always check under the seat with a light for spiders even know it's unlikely, i swear it's an OCD TIP: instead of waching your hands after going every time, just wash your dick in the morning... ...it's usually the best part of my day EDIT: or the many times i take of my pants before even entering the toilet when i was really litte.
I rip of three sheets and then proceed to wipe off the seat before I poo, throwing the paper in the trash. I then use 10 sheets per wipe, 30 sheets total.
At school, the toilets are loud as hell, so i usually do my business, pull my pants up, make sure i DON'T have poop on my sweater, open the stall door, flush toilet, run away, wash hands, go back to class :downs:
This may be absolutely abnormal and unfamiliar to the rest of the male users on facepunch. I put the seat down for the ladies.
[QUOTE=Insulator;18811628]This may be absolutely abnormal and unfamiliar to the rest of the male users on facepunch. I put the seat down for the ladies.[/QUOTE] I do that too
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