SpicyTornado - The unfunniest shit on the Internet created from the spawns of hell.
2,457 replies, posted
[QUOTE=xZippy;39340623][img]http://spicytornado.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/obama-comic111.jpg[/img][img]http://i.imgur.com/iQB6x4I.png[/img]
[editline]24th January 2013[/editline]
SpicyTornado version / "Enhanced" version[/QUOTE]
This is really good xZippy. I like your version a lot. The sweat's a nice touch: He's really getting down on that dance floor! Hmm... speaking of which, maybe I'll make this a disco night!
[QUOTE=SpicyTornadoSan;39359230]This is really good xZippy. I like your version a lot. The sweat's a nice touch: He's really getting down on that dance floor! Hmm... speaking of which, maybe I'll make this a disco night![/QUOTE]
I concur whole-heartedly.
The beginning stages of the next Spicy Tornado comic are coming together swimmingly. Let's just say it's magic! I'm going to visualize a stadium full of eager fans awaiting the unveiling of the next comic!
Dearest Facepunch community,
I would be honored to share the details of my date with Sheila. For those of you unfamiliar with my initial encounter with the woman of my dreams, I wrote of it here: [url]http://foreverjasper.com/first-date/[/url]
Before I proceed, I just want to say… Wednesday night was the greatest night of my life! It was my first first-date and hopefully my last first-date.
My Date With Sheila:
Sweating profusely, I pulled into my future wife’s driveway. I tried to keep my composure as my excitement and nerves fought for supremacy. I looked in the mirror, took a deep breath, and uttered my role model’s mantra, “Do or do not, there is no try.” It was DO time.
I gave Sheila’s front door three firm knocks. When it opened, my jaw dropped. Her beauty was otherworldly. She was a vision in blue jeans.
I gazed into her eyes for a few moments and proceeded to grab her hand. I leaned over and presented it with a lingering peck. I followed the gesture with the presentation of her bouquet. She took in the floral aroma and grinned from ear to ear.
Sheila motioned for us to be on our way, but I had business to attend to. I still held a second bouquet of flowers at my side… and they needed a home. I admit, Sheila seemed a bit perplexed as to why I wanted to speak to her mother. But, in the end she was all smiles as I presented the flowers to the lovely woman (and she was lovely) who brought her into this world. I could tell mother Sheila appreciated the gesture.
The road to the Rainforest Café was paved with sly glances and pleasant conversation. As we drove, we absorbed the sultry jazz flowing from my speakers. It was perfect.
Unexpectedly, there was a half hour wait at the themed establishment. My nerves flared, knowing that the plan was veering off course. Sheila could see the concern in my see-ers and suggested we grab a drink at the bar. We each downed two glasses of chardonnay as we waited. I shared a few humorous anecdotes about my time with the U.S. Postal Service. She told me about her course load. We even played a rousing game of “I Spy.” To say the least, our chemistry was palpable.
When we were finally seated in the main area, we were greeted by an authentic sounding thunderstorm. Taking precaution, I placed my hand on her shoulder and made soothing sounds. No artificial weather patterns would startle my gal! And plus, it provided me the opportunity to get a bit touchy. :)
Sheila ordered the Amazon Fajitas. Me? I requested the Paradise Pot Roast. As we waited patiently for our entrees, I challenged Sheila to a joke-off. Basically, we each got to tell three of our all-time favorite jokes, and whoever generated the most laughter was crowned “The Jester.” I admit, the giggles may have gotten slightly out of hand (as the delightful married couple seated adjacent to us can attest), but I cared not. This was MY moment. And in the end, Sheila held an adorable mock crowning ceremony. Yes sireee, I was named “Jester.”
We gazed into each other’s souls as we scarfed down the entrees. As usual, the Paradise Pot Roast lived up to its name. And as far as the Amazon Fajitas, Sheila gave them two robust thumbs up.
The dinner had come to an end, and yet the enchantment had not. I picked up the check and drove her to my favorite lookout spot. I traced the constellations and shared some of my theories regarding the space-time continuum. She was loving it.
As we drove to her residence, she shyly asked me if I would take her to the zoo sometime soon. I said, “For you, I’d slay a lion.” She seemed slightly caught off guard, but I would like to believe she knew I was engaging in hyperbole.
I once again pulled into Sheila’s driveway. Only this time my nervousness was replaced by utter satisfaction. With my arm around her waist, I guided her to the door. We hugged and exchanged parting goodbyes. As she slipped inside and began to close the door, I took a deep breath and placed my hand on the door handle. She turned around and I went in for the kill. I kissed her right on the lips and whispered; “I’ll see you at the zoo.”
That is the story of my first ever date…
Facepunch, I think I am in love.
On Cloud Ten,
Jasper
[QUOTE=Mr.SpicyTornado;39360261]I said, “For you, I’d slay a lion.” She seemed slightly caught off gua-[/QUOTE]
This is the part of the story where I lost control and came a little.
I'm surprised you of all people won a joke-off
jasper you smooth motherfucker.
[QUOTE=Mr.SpicyTornado;39360261]Dearest Facepunch community,
I would be honored to share the details of my date with Sheila. For those of you unfamiliar with my initial encounter with the woman of my dreams, I wrote of it here: [url]http://foreverjasper.com/first-date/[/url]
Before I proceed, I just want to say… Wednesday night was the greatest night of my life! It was my first first-date and hopefully my last first-date.
My Date With Sheila:
Sweating profusely, I pulled into my future wife’s driveway. I tried to keep my composure as my excitement and nerves fought for supremacy. I looked in the mirror, took a deep breath, and uttered my role model’s mantra, “Do or do not, there is no try.” It was DO time.
I gave Sheila’s front door three firm knocks. When it opened, my jaw dropped. Her beauty was otherworldly. She was a vision in blue jeans.
I gazed into her eyes for a few moments and proceeded to grab her hand. I leaned over and presented it with a lingering peck. I followed the gesture with the presentation of her bouquet. She took in the floral aroma and grinned from ear to ear.
Sheila motioned for us to be on our way, but I had business to attend to. I still held a second bouquet of flowers at my side… and they needed a home. I admit, Sheila seemed a bit perplexed as to why I wanted to speak to her mother. But, in the end she was all smiles as I presented the flowers to the lovely woman (and she was lovely) who brought her into this world. I could tell mother Sheila appreciated the gesture.
The road to the Rainforest Café was paved with sly glances and pleasant conversation. As we drove, we absorbed the sultry jazz flowing from my speakers. It was perfect.
Unexpectedly, there was a half hour wait at the themed establishment. My nerves flared, knowing that the plan was veering off course. Sheila could see the concern in my see-ers and suggested we grab a drink at the bar. We each downed two glasses of chardonnay as we waited. I shared a few humorous anecdotes about my time with the U.S. Postal Service. She told me about her course load. We even played a rousing game of “I Spy.” To say the least, our chemistry was palpable.
When we were finally seated in the main area, we were greeted by an authentic sounding thunderstorm. Taking precaution, I placed my hand on her shoulder and made soothing sounds. No artificial weather patterns would startle my gal! And plus, it provided me the opportunity to get a bit touchy. :)
Sheila ordered the Amazon Fajitas. Me? I requested the Paradise Pot Roast. As we waited patiently for our entrees, I challenged Sheila to a joke-off. Basically, we each got to tell three of our all-time favorite jokes, and whoever generated the most laughter was crowned “The Jester.” I admit, the giggles may have gotten slightly out of hand (as the delightful married couple seated adjacent to us can attest), but I cared not. This was MY moment. And in the end, Sheila held an adorable mock crowning ceremony. Yes sireee, I was named “Jester.”
We gazed into each other’s souls as we scarfed down the entrees. As usual, the Paradise Pot Roast lived up to its name. And as far as the Amazon Fajitas, Sheila gave them two robust thumbs up.
The dinner had come to an end, and yet the enchantment had not. I picked up the check and drove her to my favorite lookout spot. I traced the constellations and shared some of my theories regarding the space-time continuum. She was loving it.
As we drove to her residence, she shyly asked me if I would take her to the zoo sometime soon. I said, “For you, I’d slay a lion.” She seemed slightly caught off guard, but I would like to believe she knew I was engaging in hyperbole.
I once again pulled into Sheila’s driveway. Only this time my nervousness was replaced by utter satisfaction. With my arm around her waist, I guided her to the door. We hugged and exchanged parting goodbyes. As she slipped inside and began to close the door, I took a deep breath and placed my hand on the door handle. She turned around and I went in for the kill. I kissed her right on the lips and whispered; “I’ll see you at the zoo.”
That is the story of my first ever date…
Facepunch, I think I am in love.
On Cloud Ten,
Jasper[/QUOTE]
I say this with absolutely no sarcasm, Jasper. I may have had my doubts before, but you, sir, are a winner.
yaaay, its back
[QUOTE=Cajun;39362046]I'm surprised you of all people won a joke-off[/QUOTE]
I've been known to tell a side splitter or two when the right moment strikes. And these, my amigo, were some real doozies.
[editline]26th January 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Y'all.;39362272]jasper you smooth motherfucker.[/QUOTE]
You are too kind. :)
[editline]26th January 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;39362304]I say this with absolutely no sarcasm, Jasper. I may have had my doubts before, but you, sir, are a winner.[/QUOTE]
That means the world to me! Thank you for the kind words, Wealth + Taste.
[QUOTE=Mr.SpicyTornado;39360261]
I once again pulled into Sheila’s driveway. Only this time my nervousness was replaced by utter satisfaction[/quote]
:quagmire:
what were the jokes you told?
[QUOTE=Pernoccuous;39373177]what were the jokes you told?[/QUOTE]
A humorist never tells his jokes. :)
...Yes they do?
I think they do. That's the point of a joke... To tell it.
In all honesty sounds like you took her on a pretty good date. But that lion-zoo analogy was a bit... odd. Save romantic stuff like that for when you're more comfortable with her I'd say. Especially when it's a bit outside the box like that.
[QUOTE=kitthehacker;39407504]I think they do. That's the point of a joke... To tell it.
In all honesty sounds like you took her on a pretty good date. But that lion-zoo analogy was a bit... odd. Save romantic stuff like that for when you're more comfortable with her I'd say. Especially when it's a bit outside the box like that.[/QUOTE]
I was engaging in a little bit of silly sauce. :)
Thank you, kitthehacker. I admit, I really dipped my toes into the fountain of hyperbole with that lion comment.
[QUOTE=Mr.SpicyTornado;39407670]fountain of hyperbole[/QUOTE]
never heard that one before.
[QUOTE=Mr.SpicyTornado;39407670]I was engaging in a little bit of silly sauce. :)
Thank you, kitthehacker. I admit, I really dipped my toes into the fountain of hyperbole with that lion comment.[/QUOTE]
i love you
Ladies and germs and jovial worms,
I am proud to announce I have directed my first short film. I wholeheartedly believe it is my finest creation yet.
I will share it with you today or tomorrow!
Excited,
Jasper
Jasper, I'm glad you decided to ignore some of my advice, because I see some of your unchanged plan worked out for the better!
YOU'RE A FUCKIN' BALLER.
You'll have to update us on how the zoo date goes.
from making shitty webcomics to getting a girl and movie making
who knew your worst talent would led you to FAME AND FORTUNE
[QUOTE=Chubbles;39419643]Jasper, I'm glad you decided to ignore some of my advice, because I see some of your unchanged plan worked out for the better!
YOU'RE A FUCKIN' BALLER.
You'll have to update us on how the zoo date goes.[/QUOTE]
Dear Chubbles,
Thank you for the kind words. While I did mostly stick to my original plan, I definitely made a concerted effort to keep it free flowing and loose at times. Your words of wisdom have certainly aided me in my ongoing quest for Sheila's heart.
I cannot wait to visit the assortment of creatures with Sheila. I will let you kind souls all know how that goes.
Best,
Jasper
[QUOTE=radiomonster;39420284]from making shitty webcomics to getting a girl and movie making
who knew your worst talent would led you to FAME AND FORTUNE[/QUOTE]
"Shitty"?
nigga what you sayin
i dont know why but i still lose my shit when i see this
[QUOTE][IMG]http://spicytornado.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Gmail-Gangsta1.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=polarbear.;39420514]i dont know why but i still lose my shit when i see this[/QUOTE]
It warms my heart to you are fond of that one. It's certainly in my top five.
no contest
[img]http://spicytornado.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/australian-dream-american-dream.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;39420648]no contest
[img]http://spicytornado.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/australian-dream-american-dream.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
My parents love that one. Every time one of mom's work pals come over, she shows it to them. Definitely a crowd pleaser.
:)
Jasper is a boss.
[QUOTE=viper shtf;39422606]Jasper is a boss.[/QUOTE]
I have no employees at the moment.
can i be your first?
i can be a secondary artist, heres my portfolio
[img]http://puu.sh/1Vu9S[/img]
its not big but i can do better i promise
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