[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908776]man you guys need classes in anger management.[/QUOTE]
You know, I'm actually trying to help you out. Being a pretentious baby isn't helping you in the least.
And here we go again... Not listening to people giving you advice.
Meaning I can type advice right here: Plan out the entire story ahead of time. Imagine how someone would feel, and make the plot more complex than 'SPloSiOns!'
Of course, he will read none of this, so we're good.
7 pages in one hour, what have you done?
besides by placing my book on the internet it is immortalized(i don't care of it's reputation)
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908776]My book is a work of art.[/QUOTE]
:rolleyes:
sure it is
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908171]trogdon is actually a nice guy. however i'm not sure i should pay him lol[/QUOTE]
I take payment in form of sexual favors
Someone's mildly butthurt and resorting to personal insults.
On a more related note, Dragonhawk we're not the trolls.
You're the troll, trolling yourself out of great advice!
[QUOTE=CommanderMayhem;23908791]Here, OP
I feel bad about mocking your writing, have a piece of my shitty writing to mock.
I wrote this for a music class that I did not give a shit about had to write a family friendly poem with onomatapieas
I couldn't be arsed to put effort into it
I think I failed
Beep! Beep! I wake up in the morning at quarter to four,
Rawr! Scratch! That sound... Oh no! The undead are at my door!
Schreech! The window pops open with a bit of strength,
Growl...the zombies are in my room. At arms length!
Ahhhh! Jump out my window, and hit the ground with a thud!
RoooAR! More zombies are coming! They can smell my blood!
Huff!Puff! I sprint away, I need to get away fast.
Huff puff... I hope these breaths wont be my last.
Ding Dong! I ring my neighbours bell.
Creaaak.... He opens the door... he's a zombie, how swell.
Click!Click! BANG! I hear a gun, I'm not alone!
Click!! Click! I run away, escaping his moan.
Eek! Oh no! I was to late!
I left the poor man to his fate!
But since he's dead, Im sure he wont mind,
I'll take the gun, and kick some zombie behind.
Click! Click! Bang! Bang! This apocalypse is better with a gun.
Click. Click. In fact im even thinking im having a little fun.
The zombie hits the ground, making a splatter!
But over the distance, I hear radio chatter.
Sprint up the hill, it's quite a hike,
I hear a voice yell, WE Are oscar Mike!
Beep! Beep! Beep! The armies, here, in a jeep.
Ratatatat! The gun mows down zombies, they fall to a heap.
GO GO GO GOGO the sarge lets out a roar.
Go go go ! Delta two one four!
Thanks a lot army, i was nearly dissected.
Huh? Put the gun down.
Im not infected![/QUOTE]
actually that was pretty good.
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908834]besides by placing my book on the internet it is immortalized(i don't care of it's reputation)[/QUOTE]
Bro, take a lesson from Star Wars kid, Jessi Slaughter,
THIS WONT END WELL IF YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE THIS
[QUOTE=Trogdon;23908843]I take payment in form of sexual favors[/QUOTE]
O.O
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908834]besides by placing my book on the internet it is immortalized(i don't care of it's reputation)[/QUOTE]
Non-existent reputation when everyone forgets it in 1 week. Hardly immortal.
[QUOTE=CommanderMayhem;23908857]Bro, take a lesson from Star Wars kid, Jessi Slaughter,
THIS WONT END WELL IF YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE THIS[/QUOTE]
I complemented your writings. is it so bad to be nice?
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908877]I complemented your writings. is it so bad to be nice?[/QUOTE]
what you think is good writing really doesn't matter at this point.
A true bad@$$ is a nice guy. Prisoners=gangsters
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908877]I complemented your writings. is it so bad to be nice?[/QUOTE]
he is being nice, right now your feelings are hurt and you won't take any advice
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908877]I complemented your writings. is it so bad to be nice?[/QUOTE]
Posted that before I saw your compliment thanks, by the way.
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908877]I complemented your writings. is it so bad to be nice?[/QUOTE]
He told you how to improve your writing. That's even better than saying it's good. You won't listen to him though, and continue to act superior.
I think it's time to say goodnight to this thread.
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908894]A true bad@$$ is a nice guy. Prisoners=gangsters[/QUOTE]
Why do you keep typing ass as @$$
it doesnt make you look cooler
I can say one thing. I'm not spending anymore time here. if you do you really have no life to live.(i'm getting the f**k off the computer so i will not respond to you guys again.
This story is quite literally the worst thing I've ever read
(except maybe 'My Immortal')
[QUOTE=Domamin;23908952]Why do you keep typing ass as @$$
it doesnt make you look cooler[/QUOTE]
It's my way of swearing punk@$$
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908981]It's my way of swearing punk@$$[/QUOTE]
atdollarsigndollarsign
whatever floats your boat dude
obvious troll is obvious
[QUOTE=dragonhawk;23908981]It's my way of swearing punk@$$[/QUOTE]
0|<.
Look man, I once made the same mistake as you. I did some crappy thing, posted it here, and got flamed for it. In fact, I might even argue that the reponse I garnered was even worse, but that's beside the point. At first, I was angry as well. I'll agree that sarcasm and insults are the wrong way to tell some one they need work. However, you've got an opportunity here. If you really enjoy writing, keep writing. Read, research, and write some more. Use the negativity to fuel your desire to improve. Don't trust your initial feelings towards your own works. In fact, if you learn anything from this whole incident, make it this: When we have fun and put a lot of work into something, its first nature to think its good. This is something you have to fight to improve at just about anything. So if you wish to improve, take a moment after finishing something, and see what can be improved. Don't settle. Additionally, get a second opinion. No matter how hard you look at something, another view will likely provide more information. Never stop trying to get better.
That "bio" is possibly one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. But since everyone is being a douche, even the OP, I'll be nice about it: You apparently have a legitimate interest in writing, which is a good chunk of what you need to be able to succeed. But you need to get a lot more practice in terms of basic syntax, grammar and character/plot development. That comes with time, and if you only have a couple years of high school left like you said, take all of your english classes as seriously as you can, and definitely consider enrolling in some writing classes when you get to college. In the mean time, like someone said a few pages ago, read as much as you can, about as much as you can. It'll help you build a better base for material and understand how to mirror popular and successful styles.
[QUOTE=CommanderMayhem;23908791]Here, OP
I feel bad about mocking your writing, have a piece of my shitty writing to mock.
I wrote this for a music class that I did not give a shit about had to write a family friendly poem with onomatapieas
I couldn't be arsed to put effort into it
I think I failed
Beep! Beep! I wake up in the morning at quarter to four,
Rawr! Scratch! That sound... Oh no! The undead are at my door!
Schreech! The window pops open with a bit of strength,
Growl...the zombies are in my room. At arms length!
Ahhhh! Jump out my window, and hit the ground with a thud!
RoooAR! More zombies are coming! They can smell my blood!
Huff!Puff! I sprint away, I need to get away fast.
Huff puff... I hope these breaths wont be my last.
Ding Dong! I ring my neighbours bell.
Creaaak.... He opens the door... he's a zombie, how swell.
Click!Click! BANG! I hear a gun, I'm not alone!
Click!! Click! I run away, escaping his moan.
Eek! Oh no! I was to late!
I left the poor man to his fate!
But since he's dead, Im sure he wont mind,
I'll take the gun, and kick some zombie behind.
Click! Click! Bang! Bang! This apocalypse is better with a gun.
Click. Click. In fact im even thinking im having a little fun.
The zombie hits the ground, making a splatter!
But over the distance, I hear radio chatter.
Sprint up the hill, it's quite a hike,
I hear a voice yell, WE Are oscar Mike!
Beep! Beep! Beep! The armies, here, in a jeep.
Ratatatat! The gun mows down zombies, they fall to a heap.
GO GO GO GOGO the sarge lets out a roar.
Go go go ! Delta two one four!
Thanks a lot army, i was nearly dissected.
Huh? Put the gun down.
Im not infected![/QUOTE]
I turn your song into song
[url]http://filesmelt.com/dl/zombie_song.mp3[/url]
YOU PAY ME NOW
[QUOTE=Trogdon;23909126]I turn your song into song
[url]http://filesmelt.com/dl/zombie_song.mp3[/url]
YOU PAY ME NOW[/QUOTE]
ahahahaha
You ripped of "Kick out the jams" so you are the one that is going to be paying the money.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.