• Distasteful Jokes thread
    143 replies, posted
Want to know the real reason slavery was abolished? It's a bad idea to give black people machetes.
What do you do if your TV is floating during the night? [sp]Say "Drop it nigger".[/sp]
What's long, black and stinks? [sp]The Unemployment Line[/sp] I am not a racist, I just know too many of these jokes. Edit: Oh I just remembered another: What's three thing you cannot give a black man? [sp]A black eye, a fat lip and a job[/sp] Oh this is awful.
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes." The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
how do you get a baby into a jar? [sp]you use a blender.[/sp] how do you put a baby into a blender? [sp]feet-first, so you can see its face[/sp] how do you get a baby out of a jar? [sp]tostitos[/sp] what's the difference between a porsche and dead babies? [sp] i don't have a porsche in my garage[/sp] undoubtedly oldies but classics of the dead baby genre what's the difference between a [insert ethnicity here] man and a large pizza? [sp]a large pizza feeds a family of 5[/sp]
Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? [sp]A bench can support a family[/sp]
Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? [sp]You should really know this one[/sp]
This may be old but what the hell... How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? [sp]none[/sp]
[QUOTE=ILY;34985081]Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? [sp]You should really know this one[/sp][/QUOTE] Damn I was gonna make one about him and a yoohoo. :(
[QUOTE=FFStudios;34953137]uh, "distasteful" =/= "fucking stupid"[/QUOTE] In that case, every rage comic ever made.
What goes "plink plink fizz"? [sp]Two babies in an acid bath[/sp]
what do you get when you put a baby in a blender [sp]an erection[/sp]
[QUOTE=Checkers;34986125]what do you get when you put a baby in a blender [sp]an erection[/sp][/QUOTE] I thought it was going to be [sp]Salsa[/sp]
Why can't Stevie Wonder read? [sp]He's black[/sp]
-snip-
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? [sp]hit her[/sp]
How do you call a Black guy in a White shirt? [sp]An Oreo[/sp]
Why there were only two people at a black man's funeral? [sp]The trashcan has only got two handles.[/sp]
What does a black woman do when the shit in the toilet doesn't flush? [sp]Nothing.[/sp] [editline]4th March 2012[/editline] [sp]It's too late now.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Katatonic717;34984416]There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes." The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."[/QUOTE] Reminds me of one in Polish. Here's a rough translation: Little Johnny and Mary are walking through the forest. Suddenly they notice a couple having sex in the bushes. - "Johnny, what is he doing to that lady?" - asks Mary. - "Checking her temperature..." - replies Johnny. They keep going and notice another couple having sex in the bushes, then a third, then a fourth... They come out of the forest into a clearing. - "Johnny... why don't you check my temperature?" - Mary flirtatiously proposes. - "Finally!" - cries Johnny - [sp]"because mercury is already dripping down my leg!"[/sp] Eh, doesn't work as well in English.
What have the Costa Concordia and an Essex girl got in common? They'll both go down easily and have a huge, wide open gash full of dead seamen.
whats the difference between a baby and a pizza [sp]I don't cum on a pizza before I eat it[/sp]
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? [sp]One of them is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a fruit[/sp]
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? [sp]he doesn't know that he's a nigger[/sp]
[QUOTE=UberMunchkin;34960923] What's worse than half a maggot in your apple? [sp]The Holocaust[/sp][/QUOTE] That joke is offensive, Anne Frankly, I think you went too far.
[QUOTE=Dwarfy77;34997255]That joke is offensive, Anne Frankly, I think you went too far.[/QUOTE] Well maybe you should Nazi the rest of the jokes in this thread then.
So a catholic priest, a child molester and a rapist walk into a bar. [sp]he orders a beer[/sp]
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;34971719]Which black actor do you see in action films? [SP]arnold schwarzenigger[/SP] [highlight](User was banned for this post ("I think you posted in the wrong thread. Racism however." - Seiteki))[/highlight][/QUOTE] :v:
How do you start a rave party in Africa? [sp] Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling. [/sp]
A flight from England to the States, half way over the ocean the Captain notices that they are losing altitude and calls over the intercom "We are losing altitude due to too much weight so we are going to throw out the luggage to save our lives". after throwing out the luggage the plane stabalizes and the flight continues. almost at the destination they begin to lose altitude again and the captian calls over again "We are losing altitude again, so some of us are going to have to sacrefice themselves for the rest. We'll do it fairly and according to the aflabet so [sp]all asians, blacks and coloureds would you please line up at the door.[/sp]".
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