Lift weights. (If you can't get your own equipment, go to a fucking gym, don't tell me it smells bad either. You'll get used to it. And if you're embarrassed, we all have to start somewhere.) (P90x is a great program I've heard as well.)
Eat eggs for protein.
Drink milk for calcium (Your body will need to build strong bones to support your muscles) and protein.
Repeat for months-years until you're satisfied with your size+weight.
Build a time machine.
Go back in time.
Kill and replace past self.
Enjoy your muscles and your girl/bitch. (Seriously, what kind of bitch only dates strong men?)
how about you find a girl that likes you for who you are, not how unnaturally jacked you are, i mean a little bit strong is good but fight club strong only attracts whores and bitches
Do it the Douk Noukum way.
[img]http://uppix.net/b/b/4/5ab27a6fe9b8501b95bd8be4b8037.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=crazyjames;25372979]Jack off, A LOT.[/QUOTE]
so thats why my left arm is bigger than my right arm.i couldnt figure it out.
Join a local Crew team (rowing boats). If you've seen the Social Network, you know what I mean. Those guys are huge.
What about those chunky neck muscles? How do you get them.
THey kind of lead up from the shoulder to the base of the neck, shits insane.
steroids
It's easy to get ripped in 4 weeks. Just do what the gyms don't want you to do. It was discovered by a mum, so you know it's true.
Stop going for a girl that isn't in your type, you're trying to something you're not, so stop it.
What exactly constitutes a cardio workout?
Dude, do Shaolin. I literally got ripped in four weeks. I'm not joking. Then again it was four and a half hours a week + some other workouts including running and ab workouts so you'd have to push yourself to the limit.
Also eat healthy.
Also never give up.
Also I've put a shit load of cliches into this post, but cliches are cliches because they're true, which is another cliche.
[editline]15th October 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=Victor Leferve;25429790]What exactly constitutes a cardio workout?[/QUOTE]
Things that get your heart racing like running, swimming, sexing, etc. If it includes a lot of movement its probably a cardio workout.
[editline]15th October 2010[/editline]
But, although this sounds a little selfish, do it for yourself. Technically I started trying to get in shape to impress a girl, but I didn't improve much. When I actually started wanting to be in shape is when I started pushing myself more.
If you want a good workout, and to look like, well, me. Then do this workout routine. It will be a 12 week routine, so you have to make sure you can dedicate yourself to it before you start.
[B]Monday - Chest[/B]
3 - 75 Push ups
3 - Bench press 165,195,225 (25, 15, 8 reps)
3 - Nautilus press 80,100,130
3 - Incline press 80,100,130
3 - Pec deck machine 60,70,80
[B]Tuesday - Back[/B]
3 - 25 pull ups
3 - Seated rows 75,80,85
3 - Lat pull downs 135,150,165
3 - T bar rows 80,95,110
[B]Wednesday - Shoulders[/B]
3 - Arnold press 55,55,55
3 - Laterals 30,30,30
3 - Front raises 25,25,25
[B]Thursday - Biceps & Triceps[/B]
3 - Preacher curl machine 60,80,95
3 - EZ curls cable 50,65,80
3 - Hammer curls 30,45,55
3 - Push downs 70,85,100
[B]Friday[/B]
Treadmill 60 minutes 80-90% MHR
[B]Saturday[/B]
Treadmill 60 minutes 80-90% MHR
[B]Sunday[/B]
Rest Day
[B]Reps Range From 15-25 reps on all exercises and weight is in lbs[/B]
Onto the Diet:
[B]Breakfast[/B]: 6 eggs and 75g of oatmeal with raisins. Occasionally you could replace the eggs with a protein shake, if your schedule is tight for that day.
[B]Midmorning Snack[/B]: Tinned tuna in whole wheat pitta breads
[B]Lunchtime Meal[/B]: 2 x Chicken breasts, 75-100g brown rice or pasta and green vegetables
[B]Mid-afternoon Snack:[/B] This is the pre-workout meal: A banana plus a protein bar or whey protein shake
[B]Post Workout[/B]: Whey protein shake and a Banana.
[B]Evening Meal[/B]: Grilled fish or chicken, brown rice or pasta, vegetables, and salad
[B]Evening Snack[/B]: Casein protein shake or low fat cottage cheese (provides a slow release protein).
Really it just comes down to this:
Two bowls of protein – beans, nuts, meat
Tree bowls of grains – oats, rice, wheat germ
The rest is fruits and veg – spinach, oranges, etc.
That's about it, just stick to the routine of things and you'll look like fucking Adonis.
[QUOTE=Tyler_Durden;25434513]Getting Ripped Routine.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, Tyler, but how the hell is a college kid supposed to come up with that?
Pump some 'Roids erry day.
Training everyday ain't good for you, you should take it slow at the beginning and then catch up to Tyler's plan.
[QUOTE=SlanderMan;25372923]manly men[/QUOTE]
Just read Cowboy Henk and Manly Man
[img]http://media.riemurasia.net/albumit/mmedia/mx/6xz/acv5/46787/normal_745010120.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=SlanderMan;25372963]Not only am I in college, making me broke as fuck, I came into college broke as fuck. (Broke As Fuck)2 can't get me equipment.[/QUOTE]
Wait, what college doesn't have a gym?
oh god that comic
wtf
Normally I'd just do some abdominals, (crunches etc) every morning or every second day of the week. And some dumbells. Try and join a Gym, or boxing club. Some of clubs training sessions can be gruelling. But it will help. Your not going to improve in strength a large within the next month.
[QUOTE=Habomake;25372970]If you don't even have the will to fight your fear of doing shit in front of people, what the FUCK makes you think you're gonna muster the dedication to get all big n swole? Getting ripped will take you over a year, so you better change your tune. Read this: [URL]http://forum.bodybuilding.com/forumdisplay.php?f=10[/URL]. Go and learn shit from people who really know what they're doing.[/QUOTE]Dude a thread in there says to drink 4 liters of water a day, that's ridiculous.
I can't afford running either!
Steroids?
Get bitten like a spider
It happened to Peter Parker
[QUOTE=POLOPOZOZO;25440422]Dude a thread in there says to drink 4 liters of water a day, that's ridiculous.[/QUOTE]
That's really easy if you are training, when I go to the gym I sometimes drink 2 bottles of 1.5 liters of water so that's 3 liters in 1 hour.
Ohh man I'm restarting my training routine after like 2 years and goddamn I'm so horny for some training, I will also have female company now and daaamn she has a good ass. Will keep me busy during breaks.
Hypers and more hypers, you can never do enough hypers. You just need to focus your energy.
You do realize that the movie depicted in your motivational picture goes entirely against self improvement. Or were you too set on not fucking a girl to pay attention to the dialogue of the film.
Also fucking women does not require big muscles you dolts. It requires sticking your penis inside of a vagina. It's not very difficult to do. It doesn't require pushups or situps or curls for da gurls.
Get what you want without being a fucking manbaby.
[QUOTE=SlanderMan;25373002]
Not to be racist, but....[/QUOTE]
No, see "I'm not into black girls" is not racist.
I'm not into black girls, I'm not racist. It's just not a complexion I find as attractive (in general, there are exceptions), a large proportion of white guys would disagree.
But when you say "not to be racist, but" that just sort of screams you're racist because you're feeling guilty.
[QUOTE=dolphinmanbaby;25446660]Also fucking women does not require big muscles you dolts. It requires sticking your penis inside of a vagina. It's not very difficult to do. It doesn't require pushups or situps or curls for da gurls.
Get what you want without being a fucking manbaby.[/QUOTE]
I work out because I try to improve on myself in general, having a nice body adds to the sexiness and I also need to do some sport because of my health conditions and I hate running or anything like that.
In general working out is a good way to improve on yourself and it isn't mostly for the girls, and I bet girls like buffed men more than scrawny fucks, I don't mean "buffed" like ripped horribly so your biceps is larger than your head but by "buffed" I mean having a slim yet nicely shaped body.
Don't be hating on somebody because he has a different way of life than you, that's ignorant.
[QUOTE=Nelth;25448396]I work out because I try to improve on myself in general, having a nice body adds to the sexiness and I also need to do some sport because of my health conditions and I hate running or anything like that.
In general working out is a good way to improve on yourself and it isn't mostly for the girls, and I bet girls like buffed men more than scrawny fucks, I don't mean "buffed" like ripped horribly so your biceps is larger than your head but by "buffed" I mean having a slim yet nicely shaped body.
Don't be hating on somebody because he has a different way of life than you, that's ignorant.[/QUOTE]Self improvement is masturbation. You don't look any better or worse. You only lack the self confidence to talk to females without pushing a heavy bar 30 times a day.
Ignorance != hating someone because they belong to a particular group of people. That's discrimination. I am discriminating against you because you actually think you need to have large muscles to have sex with women. If anything having a gym physique implies you're whipped enough to spend every day pushing heavy weights around for no other reason than to satisfy your dick.
You're somebody's bitch.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.