The Addicts' Lounge V. Peanut butter and marijuana sandwiches
16,784 replies, posted
[QUOTE=NorthernFall;40940125]What are the common traps people fall into for sellers?
I remember reading some advice saying don't go for anyone with 100% positive feedback or who's only been selling for a few months cause they could just turn around and screw everyone over without leaving a trace.[/QUOTE]
If you stay in escrow you will be okay, that way SR Support has your back and can refund your bitcoins in the worst case scenario. Some vendors require escrow for new buyers, some don't. If the vendor asks you to FE because your new, you better really think about who your buying from and weigh the risks. Usually the people go by the saying, "tell me FE (finalize early), tell you FU (fuck you)". Read about your potential vendor on the forums.
Fuckin' hell, passed my maths test with an A, celbrating with some booze, might get a new dealer soon, have a fun friday night ya'll.
Damn I finally got hired for a job right as I ran out of bud, but it has still been a week since I smoked.
By the time I get paid I will have been on a forced tolerance break for either 2 weeks or 3 weeks, going to be pretty fuckin rad to get silly high again, I honestly miss the giggling highs when I first started out so itll be a good nostalgia experience.
went to a beach party and had a load of fun now my legs hurt and i'm out of weed
snorted my last dilaudid, heading off to chill with some bitches in pizza pizza
Shit's fucked. SHIT'S. FUCKED.
Well I am at my dad's now. Fucking soothing to be away from that hysteric, neurotic timebomb of a mother.
I discovered that my dad knows much more than I thought. Not abuot me toking, he knows that. But about my mother and her way of dealing with things.
He said that I was very much like him, especially dealing with her, or people like her. My mum made my dad put her on speaker this evening. Not one word was uttered by any of us (my dad and me), she was just hysterically shouting.
First thing he said when she hung up. "Let me guess. When there were "arguments" at home, you couldn't finish one sentence too..." Her way of being is either totally relaxed, or maximum madness. There is no gradient. Black and white.
Same with her way of judging or logic.
Everything I do, say or don't say or do, was and will be turned in any way possible to be against me. And in her twisted mind she turns all this into fear and panic. Panic that her son will drift off into a life of nothingness and drug abuse. "You are ruining your life with cannabis" (lol). Because I haven't been able to not do so before and until now, right? Fucking, I graduated from school just 4 days ago with a pretty good result.
Her way of interpreting things is killing me. This is tearing my insides. It makes me sick not being able to be understood by that woman in the way I meant it. For instance, she saw a candle that had been once lit in my room. Apparently for her the concept of a candle isn't to emit light. The sole purpose of a candle was cooking up heroin. Yeah. And what the fuck can I say to convince her. I can't show her my fucking arms right now.
I've decided for me, that shutting the fuck up is best in this situation.
It's good to know at least one person in my family at least half way on ym side. My dad seems to be the only one that can talk about this calmly. He offered I could crash anytime at one of his places (2 arpartments due to job) if I need to get away from her, even for just a few days.
He even said that just one week ago, randomly, he talked with friends about weed and that they kinda want to try it. Maybe soon I can smoke with him. At least once.
My biggest fear is that if all of my applications I sent out the last couple weeks don't get answered. It's my biggest fear because this would mean that I wouldn't earm money. Not earning money would cause my plan to move out asap, once I'm 18, to crumble into nothingness and having to stay in the same house with that witch.
I hate people like my mother. People like my mother are the REASON WHY I hate.
There has happened way too much just this day, so I am inept to write about everything. But those the highlights of my day.
Sorry for the long-ish text.
[editline]8th June 2013[/editline]
Oh and she's phoned the parents of my best friend who had a drug induced psychosis.
Apparently they put surveilance on his ass since new years. Yet they believe he doesn't toke since then.
Not a good private detective then.
I haven't felt safe at home since the fist time she busted me toking, and won't feel safe anywhere else as well now. Fucking A.
[QUOTE=Mindfuck 2;40941756]I haven't felt safe at home since the fist time she busted me toking, and won't feel safe anywhere else as well now. Fucking A.[/QUOTE]
I was isolated with a mother who was hysterically raging about anything and nothing the first 18 years of my life, while being diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Computer games became my retreat and I even stopped responding to her verbally for 2 entire years. It completely destroyed me and I developed narcissistic personality disorder, spending 8 years on this forum (since 2005) on different alts, just arguing to prove I'm better than everyone else because I thought that I was nothing. I started researching thesauruses and studied semantics to gain ammo.
Eventually I learned how to break people emotionally. If she even showed signs of starting an argument I said things that made her run away with tears running down her face. I basically learned how to become a sociopath. I had no friends and made several suicide attempts, like trying to fall asleep on a railroad track.
The thing that saved me though, was friendship. I learned that sharing thoughts and trusting other people outside my miserable home was my remedy to become emotionally stable.
Find people that you can trust enough to call your own brothers, be with them, so that you never have to suffer needlessly again. You've already taken the first step in this forum, we share your pain through empathy, because I know now that taking care of others, is taking care of oneself.
Tripping on LSD for my second time tonight with some friends, let the journey begin
just toked my ass off before bed
im too high to sleep help
i also have to go to work at 12 pm
fuck
[QUOTE=Animoz;40942355]just toked my ass off before bed
im too high to sleep help
i also have to go to work at 12 pm
fuck[/QUOTE]
Have you tried meditation? Sit in a comfortable position, imagine yourself on a beach; You feel the wind against your body, the sand under your feet, the warmth of the sun on your skin. Begin walking towards the water, and as you take step after step further into the ocean you can feel how your body becomes more and more weightless. Until you feel that you are almost hovering in space, you don't need to move your arms, you take deep breaths and just exist in a void.
Try to focus on that void, and you're now practicing meditation.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;40942171]I was isolated with a mother who was hysterically raging about anything and nothing the first 18 years of my life, while being diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Computer games became my retreat and I even stopped responding to her verbally for 2 entire years. It completely destroyed me and I developed narcissistic personality disorder, spending 8 years on this forum (since 2005) on different alts, just arguing to prove I'm better than everyone else because I thought that I was nothing. I started researching thesauruses and studied semantics to gain ammo.
Eventually I learned how to break people emotionally. If she even showed signs of starting an argument I said things that made her run away with tears running down her face. I basically learned how to become a sociopath. I had no friends and made several suicide attempts, like trying to fall asleep on a railroad track.
The thing that saved me though, was friendship. I learned that sharing thoughts and trusting other people outside my miserable home was my remedy to become emotionally stable.
Find people that you can trust enough to call your own brothers, be with them, so that you never have to suffer needlessly again. You've already taken the first step in this forum, we share your pain through empathy, because I know now that taking care of others, is taking care of oneself.[/QUOTE]
Not being able to talk about things that make me worried, sad, angry was and is still one of my main reasons for me not being happy. The only people I can kind of talk to are few. I have only one friend whom I can talk to about this situation in real life. There's few people on the internet I can talk to as well. But nobody really knows everything, except for me.
I'd love to talk to a psychatrist. I really do. Get this shit of my soul. Learn how to be not so socially inept. Learn how to trust people.
But that last point is one of the reasons that hinder me from telling anyone that I want to go to a psychatrist, which I probably wouldn't trust as well.
I'm carrying a lot with me. Some of the stuff I have forgotten or supressed. Maybe that's a good thing. But I still think even the stuff that I supress affects me. Recently I was reminded of one supressed memory. Full of agony,rage, disappointment and fear. It had me thinking for days on and off.
The combination of a lot of things that happened in my past, mostly my early childhood, made me unable to open myself to people. Made me unable to love, show affection and even laugh whole-heartetly. I am constantly self aware of what I am doing, always careful not to show any signs of weakness. Self concious of how I laugh, talk, walk, look. Not to overdo anything and appear weird. And I believe I weird a lot of people out. Talking bout IRL.
I just want to be normal.
[editline]8th June 2013[/editline]
Being able to write this here means a lot to me. It really does. You guys are good people.
Thank you.
therapist not psychiatrist.
and a good therapist has feedback and helps steer your thought processes in the right direction.
[QUOTE=FoodStuffs;40942503]therapist not psychiatrist.
and a good therapist has feedback and helps steer your thought processes in the right direction.[/QUOTE]
Helpful as always. Thanks food.
[QUOTE=Mindfuck 2;40942461]I just want to be normal.
Being able to write this here means a lot to me. It really does. You guys are good people.
Thank you.[/QUOTE]
I believe we are all normal, since the behavior of strangers is usually accepted as human behavior. Try not to suffer alone, because when we become afraid of expressing ourselves, we tell ourselves that we are not good enough for this world and that can never be true. As equals, we share the right to be different, that's what defines us and binds us in a society consisting of human beings. We share every emotion as sentient beings, therefore they can never be falsified.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;40942579]I believe we are all normal, since the behavior of strangers is usually accepted as human behavior. Try not to suffer alone, because when we become afraid of expressing ourselves, we tell ourselves that we are not good enough for this world and that can never be true. As equals, we share the right to be different, that's what defines us and binds us in a society consisting of human beings. We share every emotion as sentient beings, therefore they can never be falsified.[/QUOTE]
You're a really smart guy, and I agree.
ooh video
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIdKbnxopeE[/media]
[QUOTE=Hammerz;40937273]Goddarnit tittles got permabanned, moment of silence everybody.[/QUOTE]
good riddance
[QUOTE=Faren;40942717]You're a really smart guy, and I agree.[/QUOTE]
Thank you.
Maybe death isn't worth thinking about when we really should focus on the shared experience of sentience. Not everyone understands how an eternal void is unjustified by the concept of time as there is no other experience than experience.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glDGAo9SIqs[/media]
I raised my voice at my parents just enough to feel bad, I just hate being back home
[QUOTE=babyarm-bat;40943202]I raised my voice at my parents just enough to feel bad, I just hate being back home[/QUOTE]
Sometimes we have to make a mistake to feel that it is in fact a mistake. What is home? To me, home is a state of emotion, because when you liberate yourself from your environment you are truly free.
[QUOTE=Faren;40942717]You're a really smart guy, and I agree.
ooh video
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIdKbnxopeE[/media][/QUOTE]
great lecture, Alan Watts is fantastic, the music is annoying though
[QUOTE=Memnoth;40942959]Thank you.
Maybe death isn't worth thinking about when we really should focus on the shared experience of sentience. Not everyone understands how an eternal void is unjustified by the concept of time as there is no other experience than experience.
[/QUOTE]
What if though, it's not some void? I believe every consciousness is tied to a body, and when the body can't sustain it, it floats freely into the waiting line to be tied to a new body. I'm not a religious man, but this seems plausible to me.
been out haviing fun with mates
[editline]8th June 2013[/editline]
opiates and weeeeeed
[QUOTE=Rolond Returns;40943274]What if though, it's not some void? I believe every consciousness is tied to a body, and when the body can't sustain it, it floats freely into the waiting line to be tied to a new body. I'm not a religious man, but this seems plausible to me.[/QUOTE]
Scientifically, consciousness is the collective synchronization between your neurons and the environment. When your body breaks down into dust after corporeal death has occurred, your neurons have shifted into a different form of energy namely the dust itself. Here is where time becomes meaningless since it requires an observing eye to be tangible. After this, your energy will simply follow the natural movement of the universe until it randomly reassembles again, in a new form of subjective reality.
I'm a Buddhist, and I find this form of reincarnation religious since it produces meaning beyond this frozen point of time we currently experience.
[QUOTE=geogzm;40939807]man i'm sober as shit and i just had some crazy CEV's
i think i'm ill
[editline]7th June 2013[/editline]
today was chill
signed out, grabbed some chips and had a fag before pledging my daily oath to the queen and shitting out my quota of unused dental forms
god save the queen[/QUOTE]
To me, CEV's are very common sober. They just enhance like fuck when I do drugs.
fucking first pay check, went and bought myself a quarter ounce for 80 dollars. Usually I'd get this for 120. Today was just neat. I think I may roll myself a blunt.
Ofcourse a mini-blunt. I have myself a pack of Swisher Sweet 'Little cigarettes' It's a pack of 24, and their the size of cigarettes!
[QUOTE=Memnoth;40943253]Sometimes we have to make a mistake to feel that it is in fact a mistake. What is home? To me, home is a state of emotion, because when you liberate yourself from your environment you are truly free.[/QUOTE]
You personally should never feel stunted in having a different emotional kit then other's, your advice comes across as sagely wisdom because it's unfettered by major emotional thinking. Thank you for the clarity you provided to me, and to this hazy subforum
Anybody want some cookies?
[url=http://cuntbarf.tumblr.com/post/14483892353/i-made-menstrual-blood-cookies-i-am-not-entirely][img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwh9hev33l1qcv7xao1_500.jpg[/img][/url]
[QUOTE=ljonny;40943568]To me, CEV's are very common sober. They just enhance like fuck when I do drugs.[/QUOTE]
If they appear as flickering clouds of static/dots I urge you to stay away from Fluoxetine (also known by the tradenames Prozac, Sarafem, Fontex, among others). I was medicated with Fluoxetine for four days and am still suffering from severe static or visual snow as it's also called. That was almost 6 years ago.
[QUOTE=Mac2468;40943644]Anybody want some cookies?
[url=http://cuntbarf.tumblr.com/post/14483892353/i-made-menstrual-blood-cookies-i-am-not-entirely][img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwh9hev33l1qcv7xao1_500.jpg[/img][/url][/QUOTE]
I was going to say those aren't macadamia nut cookies so no, but then I noticed the link in the quote box
i hate my dad.
Reminds me of that 4chan post of a water bottle filled with used tampons.
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