OCD??
Hypochondria??
Depression??
Hypochondria??
Schizophrenia??
Hypochondria??
[h2]FUCK YOU!!!![/h2]
Edit:
Had a good cry. I don't know how long it will help.
when I was really young I used to piss in the corner of the playroom sometimes
Well - uh - a good friend of mine died yesterday.
He went skiing with some friends in Austria, fell off of a cliff (30-50 meters drop) while he was (presumably, since he was last seen at a bar) drunk. He didn't show up today so they started looking for him.
I'm not sure how to react. I feel so empty. I'm not sure what to think or what to do. It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep.
This is the first time someone I knew closely has died.
[editline]11th March 2011[/editline]
I remember all sorts of strange stuff now. I sent him the link to LMAO pics thread v40-something once to cheer him up. He said he had looked through all of the 50-something pages at the time. He wasn't a member here.
I asked him to sign up for OGame, as well, like the old days when we played. I told him I'd help him by filling his account with resources from my old, well-built account to help him get through the tiresome early stages.
It was actually kinda funny like 4 or so years ago, during summer break from school we'd hang out basically every single day of the entire summer.
Sorry, I'm just rambling now.
[editline]11th March 2011[/editline]
Oh and thanks for this thread. I actually feel relaxed enough to hopefully be able to catch some sleep.
I don't feel like sitting here, I don't feel like laying down, I don't really feel like doing anything. I just feel worried, although posting this makes me feel a little more relaxed.
Sent the girl I like a 10 page text last night. Spilled my guts. That is all.
I hate that my friend, the same one who gets girlfriends every other day, is now really mad because his current gf dumped him. He seems really emo just about now and all he wanted to do was play Black Ops, but his game broke, so now he says he's going to make people fear him so they'll do what he wants. It makes me feel bad to see him this way, and when I left him to go home about an hour ago he seemed to be cheered up a little bit after I talked to him.
Hm, where to begin
Sometime last year I told my mother I thought I had depression and asked her to book me in with a doctor etc (here you go to a doctor, they give you a really quick run-over and say where you should go to for therapy or counselling) and she pretty much just goes "nope" and puts me into counselling for "anxiety", and I had absolutely NONE. So the counselling pretty much did nothing because it was for the total wrong thing, and the counsellor was a total dick anyway (telling strangers about your issues isn't too fun for me anyway)
So eventually I just tell them I'm over it so I don't have to go to the crap anymore, and still get depressed a lot over stupid things, or nothing at all, and have noone irl who I can really talk to. My friends are great, but not for this serious stuff (I'm terrified of saying it out loud anyway) Dad's kind of a dick, and Mum used to be the one I always spoke with about important things, but since last year when I told her about feeling depressed she just went into denial mode and wouldn't talk to me about it.
It all reminds me of when shit went down when I was little, bad things happened I don't talk to anyone about (still sort of counts as getting it off my chest here I guess, sort of? Not really.) I couldn't say anything, I was terrified, but eventually I couldn't hold it in and told my mother. I didn't tell her the full story of what happened, what I told her was pretty much a my little pony version compared to the proper thing. SO after that, she did nothing. At the least she should of made a few phone calls and what not..So said event pretty much led me to grow up believe that almost every person is someone you shouldn't/can't trust or put faith into. I also don't really get mad at people because they're not "worth my time" except my family because I have to live with them, but I've been told that's apparently just a lucky personality trait c:
So after that huge load of text, here I am feeling dopey and kinda pissed off
My granduncle just died, and before the day he died, I wanted to visit him. Now he's lifeless.
:(
I was just thinking about how no one has posted in this thread for awhile. Whats going on?
[QUOTE='Rain [Amber];28580116']Hm, where to begin
Sometime last year I told my mother I thought I had depression and asked her to book me in with a doctor etc (here you go to a doctor, they give you a really quick run-over and say where you should go to for therapy or counselling) and she pretty much just goes "nope" and puts me into counselling for "anxiety", and I had absolutely NONE. So the counselling pretty much did nothing because it was for the total wrong thing, and the counsellor was a total dick anyway (telling strangers about your issues isn't too fun for me anyway)
So eventually I just tell them I'm over it so I don't have to go to the crap anymore, and still get depressed a lot over stupid things, or nothing at all, and have noone irl who I can really talk to. My friends are great, but not for this serious stuff (I'm terrified of saying it out loud anyway) Dad's kind of a dick, and Mum used to be the one I always spoke with about important things, but since last year when I told her about feeling depressed she just went into denial mode and wouldn't talk to me about it.
It all reminds me of when shit went down when I was little, bad things happened I don't talk to anyone about (still sort of counts as getting it off my chest here I guess, sort of? Not really.) I couldn't say anything, I was terrified, but eventually I couldn't hold it in and told my mother. I didn't tell her the full story of what happened, what I told her was pretty much a my little pony version compared to the proper thing. SO after that, she did nothing. At the least she should of made a few phone calls and what not..So said event pretty much led me to grow up believe that almost every person is someone you shouldn't/can't trust or put faith into. I also don't really get mad at people because they're not "worth my time" except my family because I have to live with them, but I've been told that's apparently just a lucky personality trait c:
So after that huge load of text, here I am feeling dopey and kinda pissed off[/QUOTE]
While I can't actually judge you accurately from just a snippet of your life, you sound like you're just trying to apply things to yourself.
Getting depressed over little stuff isn't exactly depression either. It's borderline anxiety.
And this thread is exactly the place where you can open up and spill your guts about any given subject that's giving you stress or causing you woe, so feel free to enlighten us as to what your particular problem is if you think that telling someone might help.
This is the third time I've been sober for 24 hours in the last eleven days. I already have plans to smoke with this girl on wednesday and I'm having a lot of people over friday and we're definitely getting fucked up then. The last time I did this was during the summer but that was because every day was a party. I feel better and worse at the same time. Like I said in one of my earlier posts I was barely getting any sleep at all for a long time but now I just pass out every night and feel somewhat more rested. In the morning my body feels like complete shit but I can actually concentrate and interact with people. I love blazing, it makes me feel so happy (obviously). I even love waking up the next day wondering what I did the night before. The other night I saw Battle: LA and I don't know how it ended, I just remember being extremely disappointed when I found out taco bell was closed.
I unfortunately ended up taking Psych in Lit as my second semester senior english course. The other day we read a poem by Sylvia Plath called "Daddy". I don't remember most of what was said about it because I was too busy watching the clock, but it apparently has to do with Plath feeling abandoned by her father and how she hates him and blah blah blah. At the end of the discussion my teacher asserted her belief that, at the end of the poem, Plath was saying that she's done being angry over her father and she's not going to think about it anymore. I didn't say anything but that got me so angry. It doesn't work like that. When you're abandoned by a parent you don't just have some sort of epiphany and go "that's it, i'm done. i don't care anymore lol". It sticks with you and it effects you on every level. It changes the way you view other people, it has a huge impact on the type of people you date, it makes trusting people harder.
I hate two things about myself. The first is that I feel like I'm becoming an asshole. The second is I don't care at all about anything. Could I get into an accident driving high? Sure, but I don't care. Should I ask my friend to slow down I'm in a car with him and he decides to go 50 in a 30 so he can hit a jump and fly through the air? Of course, but I don't care. Is it ridiculous that I won't date virgins and if the girl won't put out after a month I'm going to leave her? Of course, it's absolutely ridiculous. But, once again, I really don't care. The perfect relationship for me would be one where whoever I'm with loves me a lot but I don't have to actually love her back. That way I can be with someone from now through the summer and break up right before college and not even care. I feel like a terrible person.
Also, Skrillex is amazing. Just throwing that one out there.
Small bump.
I recently got addicted to Bittersweet Candy Bowl. I'm not really a furry, but its not like its terrible. I can't wait till more pages come out but I still feel odd about it. It's something of a guilty pleasure.
Also, I always try to help people and one of my friends said his life was shitty so I try to help and now he hates me. I felt like I totally failed him. It's the worst I've felt in a long time.
I find that rage overcomes all the other emotions. Use this rage to overcome the odds and your sadness. Courage Wolf this shit motherfucker.
Oh look it's this thread again.
Recently, I've been feeling down because I don't think I'll ever find the right girl for me. I don't know if I'm being to picky or what but it's hella hard and all the girls that seem to be close to what I want seem to have a dose of indecisiveness, crazy, and/or low self respect.
[editline]17th March 2011[/editline]
It's so frustrating hnnnnnnng
[QUOTE=Binsky;28661922]Oh look it's this thread again.
Recently, I've been feeling down because I don't think I'll ever find the right girl for me. I don't know if I'm being to picky or what but it's hella hard and all the girls that seem to be close to what I want seem to have a dose of indecisiveness, crazy, and/or low self respect.
[editline]17th March 2011[/editline]
It's so frustrating hnnnnnnng[/QUOTE]
You're a mature enough guy to [i]know[/i] that you're just being dramatic and that you'll find one, or more.
I feel kinda guilty because I can never seem to kiss this girl when it needs to happen. I just don't, and I don't know why. I just let the opportunities slip away, and I know it disappoints her.
Yeah I know. I guess it's just that lately women have been seemingly intentionally fucking with me and I feel kind of trapped and sadly enough like I have no one to talk to about it.
[QUOTE=Binsky;28662140]Yeah I know. I guess it's just that lately women have been seemingly intentionally fucking with me and I feel kind of trapped and sadly enough like I have no one to talk to about it.[/QUOTE]
Women are fickle and stubborn. Not to mention that they'll intentionally torture a guy if it makes them feel better about themselves. It happens. Sure, it's not all women, but there are quite a few who are willing to do so.
If you do want to talk to someone, you can add me on Skype. I'm always free. But then again, talking to a girl about how girls are idiotic may not be your ideal conversation. Not that I don't agree with you though.
My brother (who's mentally disabled, by the way) was just adopted by another family. I don't really know what to say yet, I'm still in shock.
[QUOTE=Marnetmar;28662557]My brother (who's mentally disabled, by the way) was just adopted by another family. I don't really know what to say yet, I'm still in shock.[/QUOTE]
How does that happen? Is he an adopted brother or what?
[QUOTE=Pascall;28662492]Women are fickle and stubborn. Not to mention that they'll intentionally torture a guy if it makes them feel better about themselves. It happens. Sure, it's not all women, but there are quite a few who are willing to do so.
If you do want to talk to someone, you can add me on Skype. I'm always free. But then again, talking to a girl about how girls are idiotic may not be your ideal conversation. Not that I don't agree with you though.[/QUOTE]
I'd be more than happy to have anyone to just hold a normal conversation with. You can PM your skype name and i'll search up.
[editline]17th March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Marnetmar;28662557]My brother (who's mentally disabled, by the way) was just adopted by another family. I don't really know what to say yet, I'm still in shock.[/QUOTE]
That's really rough, man. I'm confused, though, on how he got adopted by another family.
I recently found out that my cousin has cancer.
My father's family is fairly tight-knit (a family of 9) but none of us found out until about a week after my cousin was diagnosed. Hell has been raised because my aunt didn't tell anyone in the family about her son.
I really don't know how to respond.
[QUOTE=Binsky;28662694]I'd be more than happy to have anyone to just hold a normal conversation with. You can PM your skype name and i'll search up.
[editline]17th March 2011[/editline]
That's really rough, man. I'm confused, though, on how he got adopted by another family.[/QUOTE]
Hell, if you need to talk I'll be happy to over skype. Then again, I'd be using the chat function since I was planning on going to be and am decked out in my boxers and skin...
Haha whatever's fine, man. If you want to PM yours I'd be more than fine to request you.
I have a... Mutation. Not an awesome one like the X-Men, my ribcage sticks out one inch more than it should on by right side, and had caved in over my heart. Also, my lower ribs are splayed out at the bottom.
Yeah. But you can only notice it when my shirt's off, which kinda sucks because I actually have a good amount of chicks with a crush on me. As weird as it sounds I hate it, because if someone touches or scrutinizes my chest they notice all this fucked up shit going on. I don't want to go through what happened with my previous girlfriend again, because that was fucking horrible.
[QUOTE=Chernzobog;28663912]I have a... Mutation. Not an awesome one like the X-Men, my ribcage sticks out one inch more than it should on by right side, and had caved in over my heart. Also, my lower ribs are splayed out at the bottom.
Yeah. But you can only notice it when my shirt's off, which kinda sucks because I actually have a good amount of chicks with a crush on me. As weird as it sounds I hate it, because if someone touches or scrutinizes my chest they notice all this fucked up shit going on. I don't want to go through what happened with my previous girlfriend again, because that was fucking horrible.[/QUOTE]
Canary chest, I know a boy who goes to my school who has that.
[QUOTE=Chernzobog;28663912]I have a... Mutation. Not an awesome one like the X-Men, my ribcage sticks out one inch more than it should on by right side, and had caved in over my heart. Also, my lower ribs are splayed out at the bottom.
Yeah. But you can only notice it when my shirt's off, which kinda sucks because I actually have a good amount of chicks with a crush on me. As weird as it sounds I hate it, because if someone touches or scrutinizes my chest they notice all this fucked up shit going on. I don't want to go through what happened with my previous girlfriend again, because that was fucking horrible.[/QUOTE]
I've heard of that. I'm sure you'll find someone who doesn't really care about it. You'll find ways to get intimate with time.
[QUOTE=OvB;28663955]I've heard of that. I'm sure you'll find someone who doesn't really care about it. You'll find ways to get intimate with time.[/QUOTE]
Oral always helps. But from above I look like a boat.
I feel... infinate right now. like I have no energy and it's really late, I feel like I'm too tired to sleep.
like my body is dead but my brain is going 1000 miles an hour.
I ate nothing today but had 6 cups of coffee so I've been really pumped up all day but my stomack hurts like a bitch. it turns out that I can run faster than any of my friends, I hate that though because it makes me stick out more and I kinda like to just participate but not be the best, it gets me out there too much, I don't know why I feel you need to know this, I guess this is the get stuff off your chest thread though so I'm kinda just typing whatever I feel so if you choose to read it than cool but if not I don't blame you..
I think it's weird how my knees bend in and I'm not sure if it's a good thing they do. lately I've been like dispiseing everything, like all the music I listen too is really lame and all nmy friends seem so blahh.
I havn't been sleeping either, I think in the last three days I've gotten maybe 6 hours of sleep and when ever I do fall asleap I have really messed up dreams. last night me and Khane were hiding in a crawl space and the military police were after us for something, don't remember what it was but anyway, heather couldn't take the preasure and sprand out and gave us away, they pulled us out by our arms and when Khane gave the signal we both flipped aruond and broke the arm that was holding us, and then broke their noses and when they were down snapped their necks, the third one came in to see what all the noise was and I grabbed the gun off a dead guy and knocked him off, after that we stole their jeep and drove away listening to empty with you by the used on a windy road with lots of trees and it was like three am.
well sorry if that was really boaring.
[editline]17th march 2011[/editline]
maybe I'm just in one of those funks and I'll be all better in a few days.
UGH.
That is all.
[QUOTE=bak_to_basix;28664199]I feel... infinate right now. like I have no energy and it's really late, I feel like I'm too tired to sleep.
like my body is dead but my brain is going 1000 miles an hour.
I ate nothing today but had 6 cups of coffee so I've been really pumped up all day but my stomack hurts like a bitch. it turns out that I can run faster than any of my friends, I hate that though because it makes me stick out more and I kinda like to just participate but not be the best, it gets me out there too much, I don't know why I feel you need to know this, I guess this is the get stuff off your chest thread though so I'm kinda just typing whatever I feel so if you choose to read it than cool but if not I don't blame you..
I think it's weird how my knees bend in and I'm not sure if it's a good thing they do. lately I've been like dispiseing everything, like all the music I listen too is really lame and all nmy friends seem so blahh.
I havn't been sleeping either, I think in the last three days I've gotten maybe 6 hours of sleep and when ever I do fall asleap I have really messed up dreams. last night me and Khane were hiding in a crawl space and the military police were after us for something, don't remember what it was but anyway, heather couldn't take the preasure and sprand out and gave us away, they pulled us out by our arms and when Khane gave the signal we both flipped aruond and broke the arm that was holding us, and then broke their noses and when they were down snapped their necks, the third one came in to see what all the noise was and I grabbed the gun off a dead guy and knocked him off, after that we stole their jeep and drove away listening to empty with you by the used on a windy road with lots of trees and it was like three am.
well sorry if that was really boaring.
[editline]17th march 2011[/editline]
maybe I'm just in one of those funks and I'll be all better in a few days.[/QUOTE]
Yeah you are. I've recently gone cold turkey on some durgs and I've been having some really fucked up dreams too, but I use them for writing stories. I'd help if they didn't wake me up in the middle of the night covered in sweat though...
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