I posted this in the Before-The-Start-Of-School Depression thread too, but it just feels better letting it out here:
School in 1 day.
Here I come, mental tearing and depression.
To explain:
We usually have to go to this place called Gamleby (Translated: Old Village (durrhurr)) where we live in rooms together with 1-3 other people and learn how to clean said room, cook food and do wood/textile working every now and then. We stay there for a week and we get to go to a nearby "mall" one or two days which are picked randomly during the week. Sounds all good and fun, right?
Not for me. I am 16 on Saturday and I start my 9th school year tomorrow. "But Fussy," I MAY hear you say "Why are you starting 9th now? Why aren't you in high school (Or whatever it's called Swedish-English, can't bother looking it up)?".
Simple: The school I was in 1st-5th (which I did twice) was beyond retarded when it came to deciding if you have to re-do a year or not.
I was sick during the month before the very last month of my 5th year, I had fallen to the flue which was going around in the area around then, and I worked hard to get back on track with my homework and normal work. I eventually did and I actually got past most of the other people in my year when it came to "grades".
I was happy with what I had accomplished, I turned my work in and then continued working normally in the school the last month we had. All was good and well.
Then the bullshit hurricane came. The day before we were sent of to 6th grade (WELL, ALL BUT ME) my dad (I lived with him during this week, my parents were seperated back then) comes to me during a evening and says "You gotta re-do 5th."
Naturally, I went apeshit. All my friends were moving on, I had everything done, what was there to do?
Well, they decided that being gone for a month or more (or more, as in, I was constantly bullied and I always ran home because I couldn't take it all the time) is a valid reason to keep me there another year, the work didn't matter.
Now, on to the current issue: All my friends are now in High School. All of them. Left are the assholes in my year who I hate with a passion. Last year, when we went to Gamleby, I had a mental break down. No friends nearby. Nothing to do. Nothing fun was happening. I had exhausted my last energy on trying to keep myself from punching the fuck out a jerk off that spat in the face of my best friends little sister, who happens to be in the same year as me.
It was around, 8 or so in the evening, and I had a call with my dad, this was just two days in to the week, about having him come and pick me up.
I was crying but nor for pitty, but because of pure exhaustion, anger and genuine depression. He was trying to call me down but his attempts were futile as he said he could not take me home. I snapped.
I threw the phone and I kicked open the door to the office I was in and just ran out to the snow and kneeled down. I still can't believe my teacher when she says that I broke the office door when I kicked it open. I was crying and punching the ground just to release the anger I had my body filled with.
Just imagine going from finally having great friends, friends that were like brothers to you, then going to living alone (I was invited to sleep in the same room as some girls from my class, but the rules was againgst it so I just respectfully said thanks but no thanks, I chose to live alone because I had no other choice) in a place that is 3 hours away from home. It hurts and actually can fuck your brain up.
Flash forward to now: My mom got a reply from the school receptionist that she's gonna talk to the principal about working out a deal where I don't have to go there AGAIN and instead work normally in the school. I'm only minorly happy over this, but that is just because it will delay another mental breakdown which I know will come eventually. All the assholes are still left, the bullies are still left, the completely unwelcoming atmosphere and unmotivating people are still there.
But I just have to live through it. I have to, so I can eventually pick up the concept artist/story writer jobs I want in the future.
I wish my girlfriend wasn't so far away.
My best friend is a crazy girl...
I like traps.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;31814039]My girlfriend's a christian, and I'm an atheist. She says she can't be truly happy unless I became a christian. I'm probably going to fake it, just to make her happy.[/QUOTE]
Don't do that. I doubt you came here for advice, but don't do that. It's cruel to yourself and your girlfriend. If it's that important to her that you change a radical viewpoint of life to be similar to hers, then she isn't for you. It may seem like you two are madly in love or something, but you don't put yourself in a situation- with anyone- that forces you to be someone that your not, just to make them happy.
Fuck everyone, Fuck everything. Soon as summer ends i'm getting a video camera, recording me taking computer tower and throwing it out of the 2nd story window hoping it breaks, then uploading it for you guys to watch before leaving the internet for good.
I wish to follow in the footsteps of my father, he's an excellent man who is independant, he's knowledgable and is tolerant of most things, he says that the internet is good to an extent, finding out things and learning about them, getting information basically.
But i've come to see how fucking stupid how the majority of us are in First World Countries, we live in Roman times where we fill ourselves full of vices, in where we will shun something that's knowledgable to go and play on Halo 3 or stare at the computer for 1-14 hours a day.
Computers suck, I can't find why i'm still on them, why I still play the same games that I derive no enjoyment out of, that is repetitive over and over again. I believe the main reason for this is for friends.
But I need to start living, i'm shunning this, going out and actually going to the gym, get a girlfriend, actually hang out with my friends and share intellectual debates with my father, get a job. Actually become someone who is the envy of others and rise above the people who do jackshit and lead their lives in meaningless circles.
[QUOTE=Keyblockor;31817564]But I need to start living, i'm shunning this, going out and actually going to the gym, get a girlfriend, actually hang out with my friends and share intellectual debates with my father, get a job. Actually become someone who is the envy of others and rise above the people who do jackshit and lead their lives in meaningless circles.[/QUOTE]
You realise a lot of people have become successful through computers right?
Just because you have the attention span of a house fly doesn't mean that the tool your using is the problem. I rarely play games, i make them and i make money, good money. Got voted friendliest+most likely to be millionaire in my year.
So yeah, don't blame the tools.
I really want to play the Chinese ripoff of TF2/BFH.
[QUOTE=Occlusion;31823115]You realise a lot of people have become successful through computers right?
Just because you have the attention span of a house fly doesn't mean that the tool your using is the problem. I rarely play games, i make them and i make money, good money. Got voted friendliest+most likely to be millionaire in my year.
So yeah, don't blame the tools.[/QUOTE]
I'm not blaming the tools at all, i'm blaming my lifestyle.
I was chatting on omegle with someone when she said I made her heart complete. feels good but weird too
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;31827786]I was chatting on omegle with someone when she said I made her heart complete. feels good but weird too[/QUOTE]
Feel ya bro, i was chatting with some random girl on omegle couple of weeks ago, she said i was intresting, intelligent and she wished she had a boyfriend like me. e-peen extended 4 km.
I fucked with a girl for the first time, it felt so great.
I live in chicago
feels like we're being attacked by jets cause of the air and water show
[QUOTE=junker|154;31828602]I fucked with a girl for the first time, it felt so great.[/QUOTE]
Was she hot?
She is :D
[QUOTE=Keyblockor;31817564]Fuck everyone, Fuck everything. Soon as summer ends i'm getting a video camera, recording me taking computer tower and throwing it out of the 2nd story window hoping it breaks, then uploading it for you guys to watch before leaving the internet for good.
I wish to follow in the footsteps of my father, he's an excellent man who is independant, he's knowledgable and is tolerant of most things, he says that the internet is good to an extent, finding out things and learning about them, getting information basically.
But i've come to see how fucking stupid how the majority of us are in First World Countries, we live in Roman times where we fill ourselves full of vices, in where we will shun something that's knowledgable to go and play on Halo 3 or stare at the computer for 1-14 hours a day.
Computers suck, I can't find why i'm still on them, why I still play the same games that I derive no enjoyment out of, that is repetitive over and over again. I believe the main reason for this is for friends.
But I need to start living, i'm shunning this, going out and actually going to the gym, get a girlfriend, actually hang out with my friends and share intellectual debates with my father, get a job. Actually become someone who is the envy of others and rise above the people who do jackshit and lead their lives in meaningless circles.[/QUOTE]
:rock:
forever alone
[QUOTE=Keyblockor;31817564]Fuck everyone, Fuck everything. Soon as summer ends i'm getting a video camera, recording me taking computer tower and throwing it out of the 2nd story window hoping it breaks, then uploading it for you guys to watch before leaving the internet for good.
.[/QUOTE]
Don't throw a computer out of a window you doofus.
You sell it to make some money to start yourself on that path to righteousness or self-improvement. Or you give it away and make someone happy.
I feel constantly enraged that I live in England. There's violent inbreds on the streets, scared chimps in power, and I'm an oppressed minority in my school - I'm smart.
Everybody else is so dimwitted and retarded, and I'm the one who's at the butt of their nonsensical jokes.
I'm not here to complain, but to tell you all that the only way I can vent anger is through violence.
How exactly should I go about this? The thought of just flipping out has consoled my thus far, but it's losing effectiveness. Soon, I'm going to have to do something.
What should I do?
I watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and I enjoy it. [i]even the theme song[/i]
[QUOTE=IMA SHAARK;31855461]I watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and I enjoy it. [i]even the theme song[/i][/QUOTE]
I wish I could help ya, but this goes beyond my expertise.
Dr. Pascall? Your opinion?
Psh as if it were a problem
I'm kinda afraid of that bit of skin that connects my foreskin to the head of my [I]you-know-what[/I] will break; [I]painfully[/I].
[QUOTE=Cone;31855400]I feel constantly enraged that I live in England. There's violent inbreds on the streets, scared chimps in power, and I'm an oppressed minority in my school - I'm smart.
Everybody else is so dimwitted and retarded, and I'm the one who's at the butt of their nonsensical jokes.
I'm not here to complain, but to tell you all that the only way I can vent anger is through violence.
How exactly should I go about this? The thought of just flipping out has consoled my thus far, but it's losing effectiveness. Soon, I'm going to have to do something.
What should I do?[/QUOTE]
Stop being angry at stupid people. If you're the butt of their jokes, it's not just because you're smart. You're probably socially awkward or make yourself a target and don't say anything back. People don't make fun of people purely for being smart. They do make fun of people who think they're better than everyone else because they're smart.
I really think mom shud increase my allowance
I love my girlfriend, but I can't help but still fap to pictures of my ex-girlfriend.
Don't tell her.
Of course not... I don't wanna make her feel insecure.
Well, I am sometimes fucking honest with people. It's not always a good trait. But you should keep it for yourself.
I'm starting to dislike my best friend, for almost no reason.
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