• My girlfriend of three years just confessed to me that she used to be a man
    913 replies, posted
[QUOTE=RobbL;37680090]See, science can cause intolerance just as religion does but that's an argument for another thread[/QUOTE] how exactly is science causing intolerance
[QUOTE=thisispain;37679905]anyone can claim to have a "realistic" point of view the realism is that she looks like a woman and it didn't stop the op from being fond of her before, ergo REALISTICALLY nothing has changed you might not give a damn but that makes you a giant prick who will only have giant prick friends who sit in a group arguing about how everyone doesn't have "realistic" view your realistic view is shit and bad for the human race please cease and desist.[/QUOTE] Ok cool I'm a cunt but they're still a man.
Also to be honest, you guys all say that it doesn't matter, and it's true, but I think that if I was in the same situation I could just not live normally after knowing that, and would force myself to move on.
[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;37679730] I think you need to read up on "the pill" - it doesn't magically prevent menstruation.[/QUOTE] The pill doesn't but the Depo shot does.
[QUOTE=Splurgy_A;37680084]It [i]is[/i] a big deal. It's also understandable. If a woman admits to being transgender then she's liable to face harassment, discrimination and violence. Society is very transphobic and often doesn't view transgender women as "real" women. So it's very difficult for someone who "passes" (i.e. looks like a cisgender woman and who you'd never suspect was transgender) to go around telling people she's transgender because she risks getting beaten up. You could say it's a betrayal of trust, but it's a two way street - a lot of people would dismiss a transgender person out of hand, but given time wouldn't. She's probably very scared right now. OP said earlier that he was going to stick with his gf, so good for him. OP if you're still reading I'd recommend not mentioning to her that you made a thread on the internet, I doubt she'd be very happy with that.[/QUOTE] Regardless of your perception towards the magnitude of this discovery, it is still quite apparent that the deception being discussed was more of a necessity then anything. And three years actually seems like a very sufficient time frame to build up trust for something that is considered this significant (even though from my perspective it is comparably trivial) A noticeable percentage of us in this thread would have most probably waited just as long if not longer to reveal something like this.
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680129]Ok cool I'm a cunt but they're still a man.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't say a man, I would more say.... a woman who isn't a female.
[QUOTE=Splurgy_A;37680084]It [i]is[/i] a big deal. It's also understandable. If a woman admits to being transgender then she's liable to face harassment, discrimination and violence. Society is very transphobic and often doesn't view transgender women as "real" women. So it's very difficult for someone who "passes" (i.e. looks like a cisgender woman and who you'd never suspect was transgender) to go around telling people she's transgender because she risks getting beaten up. You could say it's a betrayal of trust, but it's a two way street - a lot of people would dismiss a transgender person out of hand, but given time wouldn't. She's probably very scared right now. OP said earlier that he was going to stick with his gf, so good for him. OP if you're still reading I'd recommend not mentioning to her that you made a thread on the internet, I doubt she'd be very happy with that.[/QUOTE] I'd have understood if she had waited until she knew the relationship was serious or that she could trust him to keep it to himself regardless of how he reacted. What I don't understand is why it took 3 years.
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680129]Ok cool I'm a cunt but they're still a man.[/QUOTE] are you incapable of understanding the several explanations given
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680129]Ok cool I'm a cunt but they're still a man.[/QUOTE] Ok you seem really smart. Tell me what makes someone a man.
[QUOTE=RobbL;37680090]See, science can cause intolerance just as religion does but that's an argument for another thread[/QUOTE] science is not a cause for intolerance, how you interpret the facts is a cause for intolerance.
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680129]Ok cool I'm a cunt but they're still a man.[/QUOTE] no your viewpoint is stupid the conception of a man is based on cultural attitudes, scientific nomenclature, etc they are pointless names and sounds used to convey ideas, ideas that aren't necessarily true simply because we able to say them REALISTICALLY, the idea of man or not man is completely irrelevant
[QUOTE=BorisJ;37680144]I'd have understood if she had waited until she knew the relationship was serious or that she could trust him to keep it to himself regardless of how he reacted. What I don't understand is why it took 3 years.[/QUOTE] Maybe because even at 3 years he made a thread here and was seriously considering breaking up with her because of it?
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;37680146]are you incapable of understanding the several explanations given[/QUOTE] Are you incapable of understanding that they lack a uterus?
[QUOTE=BorisJ;37680144]I'd have understood if she had waited until she knew the relationship was serious or that she could trust him to keep it to himself regardless of how he reacted. What I don't understand is why it took 3 years.[/QUOTE] The part I don't understand is why she didn't tell him right away. If the OP didn't like this, then both of them would move on and find other relationships.
This thread makes me dizzy.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37680173]The part I don't understand is why she didn't tell him right away. If the OP didn't like this, then both of them would move on and find other relationships.[/QUOTE] because humans are selfish and will hide things about themselves in order to make social contact easier
[QUOTE=Bobie;37680160]science is not a cause for intolerance, how you interpret the facts is a cause for intolerance.[/QUOTE] Yeah, bad things have resulted from people misusing and misinterpreting science just as bad things have resulted from people doing the same with religion
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680171]Are you incapable of understanding that they lack a uterus?[/QUOTE] Ok so this post implies that you believe that a woman is defined by their uterus. I can safely assume that you believe that a man is defined by their penis. Are you incapable of understanding that she lacks a penis?
[QUOTE=thisispain;37680185]because humans are selfish and will hide things about themselves in order to make social contact easier[/QUOTE] okay facepunch I need to confess im actually 8
[QUOTE=RobbL;37680186]Yeah, bad things have resulted from people misusing and misinterpreting science just as bad things have resulted from people doing the same with religion[/QUOTE] eugenics wasn't a misinterpretation as much as it was a concept based on primitive understandings of genetics.
[QUOTE=Boxbot219;37680194]Ok so this post implies that you believe that a woman is defined by their uterus. I can safely assume that you believe that a man is defined by their penis. Are you incapable of understanding that she lacks a penis?[/QUOTE] Then she is nothing ?
I'm kinda late to the discussion but: It shouldn't really matter what she was before. She looks and acts like a woman so other than for reproductive purposes she [I]is[/I] one. If she went through with SRS then the only reason she isn't for all intents and purposes a real woman by technical definition is entirely because science has not advanced quite far enough yet. Unless you're someone like ROFLBURGER whose entire reason for not wanting to be with a transsexual person is purely not being able to have children with them then there's no reason to think about leaving her. You've obviously had a good relationship for the past three years and she obviously trusts you a lot to have told you this. Leaving her could really deal a huge blow to her self esteem anyways which is something that trans people tend to be really lacking in. [QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37679885]I would have sex with a transgendered women if science allowed her to have kids. ALL I WANT ARE KIDS.[/QUOTE] If that is the only reason and you would treat a normal woman the same way for being unable to have children then I don't really see the problem past me personally seeing it as shallow. [QUOTE=Lemonator;37677051]This is fucked up if I were in that position I would kick his ass.[/QUOTE] This is the exact sort of reason that she waited to tell you OP. There's far more people out there with this sort of completely retarded mindset than those who would rationally think it through. You might feel deceived and that's understandable but you also have to try and understand it from her point of view. It's a massive thing that she had to trust you with that if you responded badly to could have completely ruined her.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680201]Then she is nothing ?[/QUOTE] No. I'm calling DinoJesus an idiot.
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680171]Are you incapable of understanding that they lack a uterus?[/QUOTE] women with MRKH also lack a uterus
[QUOTE=RobbL;37680090]See, science can cause intolerance just as religion does but that's an argument for another thread[/QUOTE] Uh scientific consensus is that being transgender is a real thing That's why we have gender reassignment surgery on the NHS The only intolerance here is people taking their opinion and taping bits of science to it in a very unscientific way [QUOTE=genkaz92;37680142]Regardless of your perception towards the magnitude of this discovery, it is still quite apparent that the deception being discussed was more of a necessity then anything. And three years actually seems like a very sufficient time frame to build up trust for something that is considered this significant (even though from my perspective it is comparably trivial) A noticeable percentage of us in this thread would have most probably waited just as long if not longer to reveal something like this.[/QUOTE] Precisely. There's stuff about myself (admittedly not on this scale) that I don't think I'll ever tell someone. [QUOTE=BorisJ;37680144]I'd have understood if she had waited until she knew the relationship was serious or that she could trust him to keep it to himself regardless of how he reacted. What I don't understand is why it took 3 years.[/QUOTE] You don't know anything about their relationship. Maybe it took three years for her to know in herself that she could trust him and it was a serious relationship. Every relationship is different, some people know they've found their life partner after a month and then a month later realise oh no I haven't while other people live together for 15 years and then go oh shit I'm madly in love with this person and I didn't even clock it
[QUOTE=Boxbot219;37680206]No. I'm calling DinoJesus an idiot.[/QUOTE] The joke man, the joke.
[QUOTE=Skelmech;37677152]She IS a real girl and you have no reason to be sad or worried.[/QUOTE] not at all, they have XY chromosomes. nothing can change that. it's a man forever
[QUOTE=thisispain;37680185]because humans are selfish and will hide things about themselves in order to make social contact easier[/QUOTE] I am very open. I usually tell people my true self when I date someone. [editline]39[/editline] oh god what have i done
It is entirely possible that she had an extremely difficult time with it, and faced a defined quantity of abuse, misunderstanding, and ridicule. Three years seems like a very fair amount of time for someone who has strong foundations and reasons to be extremely careful with trust.
[QUOTE=Splurgy_A;37680214]Uh scientific consensus is that being transgender is a real thing That's why we have gender reassignment surgery on the NHS The only intolerance here is people taking their opinion and taping bits of science to it in a very unscientific way[/QUOTE] People have been using skewed scientific fact and logic to justify calling transwomen men Like I said, "misusing and misinterpreting science"
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