• My girlfriend of three years just confessed to me that she used to be a man
    913 replies, posted
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37680232]I am very open. I usually tell people my true self when I date someone. [/QUOTE] then you're kind of weird because you shouldn't do that "hi please to meet you i'm thisispain" "oh hi, btw before we move on i'd like to say that i'm into urine" "... ok"
[QUOTE=genkaz92;37680236]It is entirely possible that she had an extremely difficult time with it, and faced a defined quantity of abuse, misunderstanding, and ridicule. Three years seems like a very fair amount of time for someone who has strong foundations and reasons to be extremely careful with trust.[/QUOTE] Are you a psychologist because you sound like one
I'm actually curious how you live the period right before and right after your sex change. Do you completely change your friends or what, it might be hard to just come one day and say "hello I'm a girl now" to some friends you're not really close with.
[QUOTE=IliekBoxes;37680221]not at all, they have XY chromosomes. nothing can change that. it's a man forever[/QUOTE] Some men have XX chromosomes, some women have XY chromosomes. And don't use "it" to refer to a transperson.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680262]I'm actually curious how you live the period right before and right after your sex change. Do you completely change your friends or what, it might be hard to just come one day and say "hello I'm a girl now" to some friends you're not really close with.[/QUOTE] I think the person getting the sex change would tell his or her friends that she will be getting a sex change.
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;37680265]And don't use "it" to refer to a transperson.[/QUOTE] Then what should people use ? I'm curious.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680262]I'm actually curious how you live the period right before and right after your sex change. Do you completely change your friends or what, it might be hard to just come one day and say "hello I'm a girl now" to some friends you're not really close with.[/QUOTE] they tend to tell friends they can trust, people who aren't comfortable with it just tend to ignore them after that
[QUOTE=IliekBoxes;37680221]not at all, they have XY chromosomes. nothing can change that. it's a man forever[/QUOTE] Hey guess what [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen_insensitivity_syndrome]You[/url] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XX_male_syndrome]can't[/url] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_X_syndrome]define[/url] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XYY_syndrome]gender[/url] [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter's_syndrome]through[/url] sex chromosomes.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37680269]I think the person getting the sex change would tell his or her friends that she will be getting a sex change.[/QUOTE] I especially mentioned friends you're not close with, you're obviously gonna tell your close friends, but there are some people you're kinda friends with but you won't confess things like that, for example people you're working with.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680273]Then what should people use ? I'm curious.[/QUOTE] Apparently the transsexuals want to be called the gender they want to be.
Personnally I would break up, firts you want kids and second there are plenty of fish in the sea, the first month should be emotionaly painfull but after that you wouldnt give a shit.
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;37680265]Some men have XX chromosomes, some women have XY chromosomes. And don't use "it" to refer to a transperson.[/QUOTE] Then what do I call it? Heher?
[QUOTE=Boxbot219;37680194]Ok so this post implies that you believe that a woman is defined by their uterus. I can safely assume that you believe that a man is defined by their penis. Are you incapable of understanding that she lacks a penis?[/QUOTE] Hey bro, sorry to burst your bubble but if your born with a dick and a sack, youre a man. If your born with tits, a vag and a uterus, you're a woman. That's how it works. You guys are calling me ignorant yet you go and called a guy with a chopped up dick and hormone treatments a woman because "OMG deep down inside they are a woman cause they believe it." It's not transphobic to not agree that they're able to change gender. I disagree on the topic but I don't go around throwing rocks at transvestites because I disagree. Stop thinking that because someone disagrees they're some ignorant sack of shit.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680262]I'm actually curious how you live the period right before and right after your sex change. Do you completely change your friends or what, it might be hard to just come one day and say "hello I'm a girl now" to some friends you're not really close with.[/QUOTE] From what I can tell you ease into it, like you live as your identified gender for a few months or years, usually with hormones so you start to have more feminine (or masculine if you're FtM) features. Not all trans people go through surgery. It's not as though you just pop into the operating theatre and a few hours later you're female.
[QUOTE=IliekBoxes;37680221]not at all, they have XY chromosomes. nothing can change that. it's a man forever[/QUOTE] [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SRY[/url] Woops looks like you're completely wrong.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680273]Then what should people use ? I'm curious.[/QUOTE] the pronoun that they prefer to be referred to as transwoman: she transman: he is it really that hard?
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680273]Then what should people use ? I'm curious.[/QUOTE] well gender and physical sex are pretty much separate so just use whatever term the transgender person in question is comfortable with [editline]16th September[/editline] or transwoman/transman, whatever they prefer
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680291]Hey bro, sorry to burst your bubble but if your born with a dick and a sack, youre a man. If your born with tits, a vag and a uterus, you're a woman. That's how it works. You guys are calling me ignorant yet you go and called a guy with a chopped up dick and hormone treatments a woman because "OMG deep down inside they are a woman cause they believe it." It's not transphobic to not agree that they're able to change gender. I disagree on the topic but I don't go around throwing rocks at transvestites because I disagree. Stop thinking that because someone disagrees they're some ignorant sack of shit.[/QUOTE] Dude you're flat out wrong. Gender and sex aren't the same thing, and the labels "male" and "female" are deceptively essentialist. This is the most general explanation of the concept, it's a useful thing to know not just about gender politics: [url]http://lesswrong.com/lw/nm/disguised_queries/[/url]
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;37680293]From what I can tell you ease into it, like you live as your identified gender for a few months or years, usually with hormones so you start to have more feminine (or masculine if you're FtM) features. Not all trans people go through surgery. It's not as though you just pop into the operating theatre and a few hours later you're female.[/QUOTE] Okay, I've never known a trans for more than a few months so I don't really know much, but I'm really interested.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680286]I especially mentioned friends you're not close with, you're obviously gonna tell your close friends, but there are some people you're kinda friends with but you won't confess things like that, for example people you're working with.[/QUOTE] If one of my friends became a TS out of the blue It would be slightly awkward for about a week. Though others may take it better or worse, I don't speak for everyone.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37680252]Are you a psychologist because you sound like one[/QUOTE] Not professionally, although I definitely have an independent fascination in these types of areas.
[QUOTE=Maruhai;37680273]Then what should people use ? I'm curious.[/QUOTE] If the person wants you to use female pronouns, use female pronouns. If the person wants you to use male pronouns, use male pronouns. If the person wants you to use [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they]gender neutral pronouns[/url], use those.
[QUOTE=xxncxx;37680300]the pronoun that they prefer to be referred to as transwoman: she transman: he is it really that hard?[/QUOTE] No it's just that I'm not from any english speaking country and I didn't know if there was a specific word or anything. Way to be a dick.
If you love her, keep her. Don't put her down.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37680317]If one of my friends became a TS out of the blue It would be slightly awkward for about a week. Though others may take it better or worse, I don't speak for everyone.[/QUOTE] I came out to an IRL friend that i've known for two weeks hes entirely ok with it and nothing has been awkward at all [editline]15th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Maruhai;37680331]No it's just that I'm not from any english speaking country and I didn't know if there was a specific word or anything. Way to be a dick.[/QUOTE] sorry, kinda perturbed right now so I don't mean to sound like a cunt
[QUOTE=Splurgy_A;37680324]If the person wants you to use female pronouns, use female pronouns. If the person wants you to use male pronouns, use male pronouns. If the person wants you to use [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they]gender neutral pronouns[/url], use those.[/QUOTE] You don't have to be trans to want to be refered to with gender neutral pronouns. I know several women in college who were born a women that hate being referred to as she and her. A couple guys, too.
She's no different than how she was in the three years before she told you. I imagine it is quite jarring news but it doesn't automatically make her a completely different person. [QUOTE=Maruhai;37680273]Then what should people use ? I'm curious.[/QUOTE] Refer to them by the gender they prefer. So you would refer to the OP's girlfriend as "she".
[QUOTE=IliekBoxes;37680221]not at all, they have XY chromosomes. nothing can change that. it's a man forever[/QUOTE] kinda like how you were born with an extra chromosome and are gonna be like that forever right
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;37680310]Dude you're flat out wrong. Gender and sex aren't the same thing, and the labels "male" and "female" are deceptively essentialist. This is the most general explanation of the concept, it's a useful thing to know not just about gender politics: [url]http://lesswrong.com/lw/nm/disguised_queries/[/url][/QUOTE]Except gender and sex are both used commonly to describe the same thing, regardless of its exact dictionary definition. You know what I mean, so stop trying to twist my words into something other than my intended meaning.
[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37680129]Ok cool I'm a cunt but they're still a man.[/QUOTE] You've got to be one of the most insensitive people I've seen on this forum over the course of five and a half years. Get over the "they're a man" mentality and respect them for who they are, not who they used to be.
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