• My girlfriend of three years just confessed to me that she used to be a man
    913 replies, posted
[QUOTE=andrey191919;37677305]I do love her, and I have no intention of leaving her or consciously treating her differently. I am just very confused and worried about this LIE that she has kept for three years, and that she used to be a man. Edit: Or a boy, apparently she started this when she was 14. It's a relief to know that she never had a beard etc.[/QUOTE] its not really a lie if you never asked "its a relief to know she never had a beard" ahahaha oh my this thread is comedy gold laughter all round
[QUOTE=andrey191919;37677305]I do love her, and I have no intention of leaving her or consciously treating her differently. I am just very confused and worried about this LIE that she has kept for three years, and that she used to be a man. Edit: Or a boy, apparently she started this when she was 14. It's a relief to know that she never had a beard etc.[/QUOTE] You need to understand that it's not lying. She is a woman and that's that. Just because she was born with the wrong parts (i.e a dick) doesn't make her a man. If you know you are a girl, say you are a girl, and even have the parts to show it, you are a girl.
[QUOTE=andrey191919;37677305]I do love her, and I have no intention of leaving her or consciously treating her differently. I am just very confused and worried about this LIE that she has kept for three years, and that she used to be a man. Edit: Or a boy, apparently she started this when she was 14. It's a relief to know that she never had a beard etc.[/QUOTE] I can understand that this must be a big shock to hear from her, but you should be talking about it with her and not with a bunch of stupid teenagers on a gaming forum who's opinions generally come down to "she used to have a penis ewww break up with her." She obviously trusts you a lot so any worries should be directed to her. Reciprocate that trust.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677336]You need to understand that it's not lying. She is a woman and that's that. Just because she was born with the wrong parts (i.e a dick) doesn't make her a man. If you know you are a girl, say you are a girl, and even have the parts to show it, you are a girl.[/QUOTE] i am a girl except im not im a man [editline]15th September 2012[/editline] like seriously i have nothing against trans people and i think its fine but youre just yelling defensive bullshit and rating anyone who disagrees with you dumb
[QUOTE=andrey191919;37675420]No, if she only told me after three years then she obviously doesn't want people to know. She used to be a man though. [/QUOTE] Transgender women face a lot of potential risks if they are outed as trans (discrimination, violence), so she took a massive risk in telling you - she's probably scared you'll reject her but she trusts you very deeply to tell you this. It's understandable that you feel mislead, because it is a big deal for a lot of people. She is probably terrified right now. You might be seeing her in a slightly different light, but she's still the same girl you fell in love with and she still is very much in love with you. It's true that she was born with a penis, but she's always been a woman. Her body didn't match up, but it's not that different to if someone had been born with a birth defect that required surgery. Think of it from that angle - she was born with a condition that has rendered her infertile. Being attracted to her does not make you gay. Gay men are attracted to masculine traits. You were sexually attracted to her because she is feminine, presumably is pretty and has an attractive body. If Zooey Deschanel turned out to be transgender, all the people that find her attractive would not be gay. [QUOTE=andrey191919;37677223]What if she has a male mind though? I know most transsexuals feel that they have a female mind and a male body and that's why they get a sex change, but surely there must be exceptions. I did some research and found a condition named "Autogynephilia". Although my girlfriend has always acted very feminine, it could just be that, an act. I doubt it, but it's a possibility and it terrifies me.[/QUOTE] Transgender people really are the gender they say they are. Studies show the sexual differences you'd find in a female and male brain align more closely with stated gender than birth sex in transgender individuals.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677336]You need to understand that it's not lying. She is a woman and that's that. Just because she was born with the wrong parts (i.e a dick) doesn't make her a man. If you know you are a girl, say you are a girl, and even have the parts to show it, you are a girl.[/QUOTE] She pretended that she was born a female, that she could have babies. That's like one of the many firsts thing you should know before you enter a committed relationship. For example, it's like I pretend i'm an alien the whole time, but I'm not. That's also called a lie
[QUOTE=TCB;37677342]i am a girl except im not im a man [editline]15th September 2012[/editline] like seriously i have nothing against trans people and i think its fine but youre just yelling defensive bullshit and rating anyone who disagrees with you dumb[/QUOTE] I'm rating them dumb because that is what they are when they talk like that without knowing a thing about the subject. You need to understand that she's a woman. I'm not being all defensive just because I'm a transgender myself, I'm telling you the facts.
OP, didn't you find it a little weird that you have to use lube during vaginal sex? That should set off a flag somewhere.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37677317]Just ignore Violation_SNG, he uses boxes as a way to counter your argument.[/QUOTE] Violation is not only a girl but she's right.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37677368] For example, it's like I pretend i'm an alien the whole time, but I'm not. That's also called a lie[/QUOTE] its ok roflburger you dont have to lie to urself anymore you are a beautiful alien and if you know you are an alien then say it!! Seriously SNG actually read the arguments that are coming up before voicing your own
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37677368]She pretended that she was born a female, that she could have babies. That's like one of the many firsts thing you should know before you enter a committed relationship. For example, it's like I pretend i'm an alien the whole time, but I'm not. That's also called a lie[/QUOTE] You don't understand the mindset of a transgender person. They believe they were born their chosen gender, just with the wrong body. They help themselves become whole by using various medications and surgeries.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37677368]She pretended that she was born a female, that she could have babies. That's like one of the many firsts thing you should know before you enter a committed relationship. For example, it's like I pretend i'm an alien the whole time, but I'm not. That's also called a lie[/QUOTE] so do you ask every woman you're about to date "hey btw are you a fertile bitch?" because good luck getting in a relationship with a "REAL" woman anyway.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677371]I'm rating them dumb because that is what they are when they talk like that without knowing a thing about the subject. You need to understand that she's a woman. I'm not being all defensive just because [B]I'm a transgender myself, I'm telling you the facts[/B].[/QUOTE] that doesn't make you right Also it seems you're rating me dumb because a prefer women-born women over transgendered women
[QUOTE=TCB;37677393]its ok roflburger you dont have to lie to urself anymore you are a beautiful alien and if you know you are an alien then say it!! Seriously SNG actually read the arguments that are coming up before voicing your own[/QUOTE] hey if you really have nothing against transpeople then leave and stop making stupid posts that amount to "HEY YOU'RE NOT REALLY A GIRL BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TWO X CHROMOSOMES!" because that shit is fucking annoying.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677371]I'm rating them dumb because that is what they are when they talk like that without knowing a thing about the subject. You need to understand that she's a woman. I'm not being all defensive just because I'm a transgender myself, I'm telling you the facts.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677336] If you know you are a girl, say you are a girl, and even have the parts to show it, you are a girl.[/QUOTE]
And how many times must we say that she didn't deceive him. This is one of the scariest things to tell a loved one because no matter how far in the relationship or how long you've known them they could easily snap on an instant and KILL YOU. Would you just go around shouting it to the heavens knowing that? Knowing it happens all the time and your death probably won't even be on the news.
[QUOTE=SgtCr4zyGunz;37677412]hey if you really have nothing against transpeople then leave and stop making stupid posts that amount to "HEY YOU'RE NOT REALLY A GIRL BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TWO X CHROMOSOMES!" because that shit is fucking annoying.[/QUOTE] this thread was for giving op advice, wasnt it? not "is this person a girl or not"
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37677411]that doesn't make you right Also it seems you're rating me dumb because a prefer women-born women over transgendered women[/QUOTE] I'm rating you dumb because you are too much of an idiot to understand her and Transgendered people. I don't care what you prefer, you just need to realize that she is a woman at the end of the day and there is nothing you can say that makes her not a woman.
[QUOTE=TCB;37677342]i am a girl except im not im a man [/QUOTE] I've seen a lot of meaningless bullshit posts in my time and that one still struck me as exceptionally pointless gj
[QUOTE=SgtCr4zyGunz;37677400]so do you ask every woman you're about to date "hey btw are you a fertile bitch?" because good luck getting in a relationship with a "REAL" woman anyway.[/QUOTE] Before a committed relationship. While at the end of dating. Also you don't just say "CAN YOU MAKE BABBY?", you kinda ease into it like saying "I've always wanted kids" when you know she be scared of that question.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37677411]that doesn't make you right Also it seems you're rating me dumb because a prefer women-born women over transgendered women[/QUOTE] The preference you have shouldn't exist when they're two sides of the exact same coin. "do I want a girl or a girl" Is literally what that boils down to.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677371]I'm rating them dumb because that is what they are when they talk like that without knowing a thing about the subject. You need to understand that she's a woman. I'm not being all defensive just because I'm a transgender myself, I'm telling you the facts.[/QUOTE] This is what irritates me and probably others, they're not facts they are your opinions and views on it. Personally I don't think anyone can really say whether someone is a girl or not, it's not that black and white.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;37677439]Before a committed relationship. While at the end of dating. Also you don't just say "CAN YOU MAKE BABBY?", you kinda ease into it like saying "I've always wanted kids" when you know she be scared of that question.[/QUOTE] quick question, do you hate adoption
She hasn't been lying at all. If she was explicitly asked about her birth sex, then sure, but I doubt that conversation ever came up. Even if it did, this is an issue that transcends simple trust.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677436]I'm rating you dumb because you are too much of an idiot to understand her and Transgendered people. I don't care what you prefer, you just need to realize that she is a woman at the end of the day and there is nothing you can say that makes her not a woman.[/QUOTE] I have no issues with her being a woman however she is not female
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677436]I'm rating you dumb because you are too much of an idiot to understand her and Transgendered people. I don't care what you prefer, you just need to realize that she is a woman at the end of the day and there is nothing you can say that makes her not a woman.[/QUOTE] She is a woman. But not a Child-bearing women. I don't remember saying that she wasn't a women.
[QUOTE=SgtCr4zyGunz;37677267]so infertile women and women with their tubes tied aren't real women?[/QUOTE] stop picking at lint on this topic his major concern is having biological children. It's a major biological drive, the basis for wanting sex on a primal level, and a great deal of people feel it to the point that siring/bearing children is an important factor. Problems that get in the way of that sadly cause in a lot of break ups or divorces if it turns out either partner is infertile/incapable. Yes, there is a love connection and good people would push through that sort of thing if they truly cared that much about each other, but I think there comes a level of distrust or concern when you weren't told the full story for 3 years when they knew it would be an issue. I can't speak for OP and how they feel about this, but I definitely don't think calling himself 'gay' as a result is the proper way of dealing with wanting to be with her. This is a delicate situation and honestly if they've been girl enough to deceive him even after sex, I'd say she's more girl than anything. Humans are pretty much the same, we just grow differently based on hormone; we all start as females in the womb, evidence is even on you right now; The seam on your scrotum is where your labia fused together. I'm still pretty proud of the lack of aggressive/assholish comments in here, I've seen some ugly situations about transgender issues around here before.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677436]I'm rating you dumb because you are too much of an idiot to understand her and Transgendered people. I don't care what you prefer, you just need to realize that she is a woman at the end of the day and there is nothing you can say that makes her not a woman.[/QUOTE] calling him an idiot doesnt help your whole "im not being pointlessly defensive" thing [QUOTE=Itachi_Crow;37677438]I've seen a lot of meaningless bullshit posts in my time and that one still struck me as exceptionally pointless gj[/QUOTE] youre just transphobic
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;37677446]This is what irritates me and probably others, they're not facts they are your opinions and views on it.[/QUOTE] It is a fact that she is a woman, and that is what I'm trying to get across to you.
[QUOTE=TCB;37677421]this thread was for giving op advice, wasnt it? not "is this person a girl or not"[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=TCB;37677342]i am a girl except im not im a man [editline]15th September 2012[/editline] like seriously i have nothing against trans people and i think its fine but youre just yelling defensive bullshit and rating anyone who disagrees with you dumb[/QUOTE] yeah fucking dr. phil quality advice right here.
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