• My girlfriend of three years just confessed to me that she used to be a man
    913 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Bobie;37677450]quick question, do you hate adoption[/QUOTE] I would prefer having my own children, but I don't "hate" adoption. Adoption agencies is a swell idea, but it's not right for me.
[QUOTE=Riodoku;37677453]She hasn't been lying at all. If she was explicitly asked about her birth sex, then sure, but I doubt that conversation ever came up. Even if it did, this is an issue that transcends simple trust.[/QUOTE] who even asks that though [editline]15th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=SgtCr4zyGunz;37677475]yeah fucking dr. phil quality advice right here.[/QUOTE] i gave him advice at first but then it became a huge debate
[QUOTE=geogzm;37677377]OP, didn't you find it a little weird that you have to use lube during vaginal sex? That should set off a flag somewhere.[/QUOTE] There's plenty of reasons a cisgender woman could struggle to produce vaginal lubrication. Some cisgender women even have a condition where the vagina can't even be penetrated without pain (dyspareunia).
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677474]It is a fact that she is a woman, and that is what I'm trying to get across to you.[/QUOTE] It's a fact she is a woman. It's also a fact that she is decidedly not female. (Oh and it's not "girl or girl" it's "girl or female")
[QUOTE=daijitsu;37677468]stop picking at lint on this topic his major concern is having biological children, it's a major drive for a good deal of people that sadly ends in a lot of break ups or divorces if it turns out either partner is infertile/incapable. Yes, there is a love connection and good people would push through that sort of thing if they truly cared that much about each other, but I think there comes a level of distrust or mild concern when you weren't told the full story for 3 years. I can't speak for OP and how they feel about this, but I definitely don't think calling himself 'gay' as a result is the proper way of dealing with wanting to be with her. This is a delicate situation and honestly if they've been girl enough to deceive him even after sex, I'd say she's more girl than anything. Humans are pretty much the same, we just grow differently based on hormone; we all start as females in the womb, evidence is even on you right now; The seam on your scrotum is where your labia fused together. I'm still pretty proud of the lack of aggressive/assholish comments in here, I've seen some ugly situations about transgender issues around here before.[/QUOTE] i was more taking issue with the fact that he was judging a woman's "womanliness" (for lack of a better term) by their ability to give birth. if it's truly that important to him that he has kids by natural means then he can date whoever he wants.
[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;37677474]It is a fact that she is a woman, and that is what I'm trying to get across to you.[/QUOTE] So ok if they deffinetly are a woman were they female at birth? or after the operations? If when they were at birth does that mean being a woman or man isn't relevant to physical features? If after the operation can you tell me at what point during the proceedures she became a woman?
[QUOTE=TCB;37677473] youre just transphobic[/QUOTE] lol n1! way to turn that around on me mate, u sure got me!
[QUOTE=TCB;37677480]who even asks that though [editline]15th September 2012[/editline] i gave him advice at first but then it became a huge debate[/QUOTE] Yes, that's my point. Unless she was asked about being trans, she has done no deceiving. The OP was attracted to her and things progressed of their own accord.
Is nobody in this thread aware of using a surrogate mother to have a biological child?
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;37677497]It's a fact she is a woman. It's also a fact that she is decidedly not female. (Oh and it's not "girl or girl" it's "girl or female")[/QUOTE] You are basically saying that she is not Female because she cannot give birth, even though it has been pointed out many times that there are a multitude of conditions that do not allow a woman to give birth. The bottom line is that she believes she is 100% Female and that she has all the parts to prove it, meaning she is. By the way, you can be a woman or a female even if you don't get SRS.
[QUOTE=Riodoku;37677520]Yes, that's my point. Unless she was asked about being trans, she has done no deceiving. The OP was attracted to her and things progressed of their own accord.[/QUOTE] i still think its a big thing in your life though, and its something she should tell him early on in the relationship
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;37677497]It's a fact she is a woman. It's also a fact that she is decidedly not female. (Oh and it's not "girl or girl" it's "girl or female")[/QUOTE] Would you care to explain the difference to everyone?
[QUOTE=TCB;37677537]i still think its a big thing in your life though, and its something she should tell him early on in the relationship[/QUOTE] you clearly don't understand how difficult it is and how much courage it takes to do that. Its not some casual thing I'd just spit out after I get with someone who doesn't know my past.\ (fuuck how did I accidentally just report my own post as spam)
[QUOTE=Skelmech;37677538]Would you care to explain the difference to everyone?[/QUOTE] females by definition produce eggs for sexual reproduction.
every hole is a goal :downs:
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;37677510]So ok if they deffinetly are a woman were they female at birth? or after the operations? If when they were at birth does that mean being a woman or man isn't relevant to physical features? If after the operation can you tell me at what point during the proceedures she became a woman?[/QUOTE] She became a woman the moment she decided she was. I myself have no medications right now and have had no surgeries, yet I consider myself a woman and a female, because I am.
[QUOTE=alien_guy;37677534]Is nobody in this thread aware of using a surrogate mother to have a biological child?[/QUOTE] except it wouldn't be the lovers' child it'd be the father's and some (mostly) random woman, which im sure people like roflburger don't want. i'm pretty sure they want a child with the person they love.
[QUOTE=alien_guy;37677534]Is nobody in this thread aware of using a surrogate mother to have a biological child?[/QUOTE] I knew someone was going to say this. I rather have the child with the woman I'm with. [editline]39[/editline] I sound extremely picky, don't I?
[QUOTE=xxncxx;37677542]you clearly don't understand how difficult it is and how much courage it takes to do that. Its not some casual thing I'd just spit out after I get with someone who doesn't know my past.[/QUOTE] she should have eased into it. of course its not an easy thing to tell him, but if he really cared about her he wouldve accepted her. since its been three years, it makes sense for op to be confused about the situation
Female is a biological term referring to the ability to ovulate. Woman is a physiosocial term that does not necessarily require being female.
[QUOTE=alien_guy;37677547]females by definition produce eggs for sexual reproduction.[/QUOTE] and it's been pointed out that by this definition, then infertile women aren't female.
Could she possibly go back to being a man?
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;37677560]Female is a biological term referring to the ability to ovulate. Woman is a physiosocial term that does not necessarily require being female.[/QUOTE] please see above.
[QUOTE=geogzm;37677377]OP, didn't you find it a little weird that you have to use lube during vaginal sex? That should set off a flag somewhere.[/QUOTE] Not really. A lot of women have trouble getting enough lube to be confortable, at least in a reasonable space of time.
[QUOTE=SgtCr4zyGunz;37677561]and it's been pointed out that by this definition, then infertile women aren't female.[/QUOTE] they were still born a woman without having to have surgery, which imo cancels it out
[QUOTE=SgtCr4zyGunz;37677561]and it's been pointed out that by this definition, then infertile women aren't female.[/QUOTE] They still count presumably because they have the organs that create eggs. But im not a biologist.
[QUOTE=Kaihong;37677562]Could she possibly go back to being a man?[/QUOTE] Once you go as far as SRS, there are usually no feelings of regret. It is possible for anyone however to change between Female and Male at any time they want. The OP could become a MtF if he wanted to.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;37677510]So ok if they deffinetly are a woman were they female at birth? or after the operations? [b]If when they were at birth does that mean being a woman or man isn't relevant to physical features?[/b] If after the operation can you tell me at what point during the proceedures she became a woman?[/QUOTE] Yeah, pretty much. It's very hard to define it otherwise. You could say being XX or XY makes you a woman but you have [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XX_male_syndrome]XX males[/url] and [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen_insensitivity_syndrome]XY women[/url]. You could say having a vagina or a penis makes you a woman or a man, but then people who lose their genitals in industrial accidents are still the same gender so it can't be that (a man without a penis is still a man), plus [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex]not everyone is born with a penis or a vagina[/url]. You could argue that gender is the result of socialisation but [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer]that doesn't seem to be true[/url]. All the evidence seems to suggest that gender is something fairly innate, but something that isn't necessarily tied to sex. That's why gender reassignment surgery is available on the NHS and considered non elective and non postponable.
[QUOTE=alien_guy;37677579]They still count presumably because they have the organs that create eggs. But im not a biologist.[/QUOTE] yeah, but then there's hysterectomy
[QUOTE=Kaihong;37677562]Could she possibly go back to being a man?[/QUOTE] Yeah it's a 30 day refund [sp]She could, but they would still charge her[/sp]
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