• Creative Work That Doesn't Deserve A Thread
    13,767 replies, posted
[url=http://vinnamon-buns.tumblr.com/image/68702080742][IMG]http://24.media.tumblr.com/e254805eb2a0cc3e55bf069cec0c0076/tumblr_mx5a30ttu71rzx4geo1_1280.png[/IMG][/url] OC dump click for grey background
[QUOTE=lintz;43037361]one does not simply army, [I]especially[/I] as an Emperor's bodyguard without scars. I have to know more about it to be sure, but I feel like it's veering close to mary sue territory. It's not there yet, but there are small tinges of it.[/QUOTE] she doesn't have scars because she's new, also is a side character :L I'll try to avoid mary sue though (she really is a ditz)
[QUOTE=FoneJack;43037559]Here's a vaguely flower shaped thingy I drew with a protractor while I was out of town this weekend. [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/r3JxWox.jpg[/IMG] idk if Facepunch likes this kind of stuff but I figured someone here would find it interesting.[/QUOTE] looks like a pattern for a stained glass window
[IMG]http://25.media.tumblr.com/8912ca96b589628f70c461a267c574eb/tumblr_mx3eohsu4x1snfjwfo1_1280.png[/IMG] "tough love" 'cause they're fighting but there's a heart geddit
did a thingy after listening to elevator music for 4 hours straight [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/IqpaHeS.jpg[/IMG]
What do you guys think, scarf or not? Without scarf has no work done on the collar. [IMG]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17993036/future%20hoodie%20scarf%20or%20not.png[/IMG]
Definitely with, scarves are beautiful.
[IMG]http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/5461/s4rh.png[/IMG] I might open a comics thread (for any software), since there doesn't seem to be one here.
i'd probably let it go if it was funny but that was not really funny nor did it have any effort towards the creative side
well, speaking of comics, I finished my practice scene [IMG]http://i.cubeupload.com/C1vKUf.png[/IMG] Her kid sister is not the main focus of the story, I hope her description didn't come off too mary sue-ish, as it was just building up her impressive skillset which is balanced/contrasted by her being dumb as a rock I apologize for: -ugly grey background -placeholder font -large amount of dialogue, it is a chatty scene but it feels off, so that's something to work on straight away
I hate how terrible this is, I don't know what to do [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/7XtDwHW.png[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;43041276]I hate how terrible this is, I don't know what to do [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/7XtDwHW.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] Your hands are looking good if that's any consolation.
[QUOTE=Wickerman123;43041335]Your hands are looking good if that's any consolation.[/QUOTE] The hand on the right is horribly large though
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;43041276]I hate how terrible this is, I don't know what to do [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/7XtDwHW.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] Draw from reference.
Much better wewt, I no longer have any problems with it. Now I can genuinely enjoy it.
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;43041276]I hate how terrible this is, I don't know what to do [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/7XtDwHW.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] 1. Draw directly from reference, don't worry about making skeletons and what not. It might sound like a broken record at this point but i'd argue it's one of--if not the best method of improvement. Merely drawing something from imagination doesn't give anyone here a comparison, so it's much harder to point out mistakes or help. 2. Don't feather your lines; try to make single, confident strokes. Line feathering is a very misused technique and I wouldn't use it when drawing from reference. It might not hurt to just draw a bunch of circles and geometric shapes to get your hand used to it. When it comes to reference drawings, there's really no limit to what you can and can't draw. I assume you're trying to get better at drawing humans, so I would start at these places. [url]http://artists.pixelovely.com/practice-tools/figure-drawing/[/url] Naked people and all that stuff. [url]http://www.posemaniacs.com/thirtysecond[/url] this is a pretty cool neat tool. They're 3D models, so they don't accurately portray the dynamics of muscles under the skin and all that, but they're still good references. People generally use this for gesture studies, which is where you pretty much draw the figure as quickly as you can without focusing on any small details. If you do a shit load of these daily, your hands will start to build up the muscle memory involved in drawing. There's a few videos near the bottom that illustrate a few people practicing if you need an idea on what to do. Don't expect your first attempts to be perfect, either. It's a long and gradual process.
... I actually was trying to draw from reference :suicide:
Show us the reference. There's no need for you to be drawing lines and circles and guides if you're drawing from reference.
-snip- Thanks for feedback though!
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;43042463]... I actually was trying to draw from reference :suicide:[/QUOTE] tbh you might be trying to draw with the idea of what you're seeing, not what's actually there. if ya get me?? like having an idea what a hand/neck/torso is but that throws you off track from how they're depicted in the picture. if so, it can help to picture things in shapes (like circles, squares, n such) and by doing that it makes you focus on whats actually there instead of an idea
[QUOTE=WoodzyX88;43042872][URL]http://imgur.com/a/toZzp[/URL] If you all could spend a couple minutes, read these, and give me some feedback I would greatly appreciate it. I just recently finished planning everything out and moved onto the writing portion. Heavy W.I.P[/QUOTE] I didn't get very far, so I'm critiquing as I go. Don't feel offended- it's easy to pick at other's writing but very hard to write well, so I'm just trying to guide you in the right direction. First impressions, it's very crude. I don't know how long you plan this story to be, but if you want the reader to form attachment to your character it's best you spend more than a paragraph properly introducing them, and avoid literally just dumping their backstory on the table. It's hard to avoid but necessary if you want to take a serious crack at writing. Next, avoid cliched phrases like "It's show time". Many a seasoned editor will toss out manuscripts for committing literary 'sins' of this nature. Grammatically speaking you have more than your fair share of errors. [quote]The first step, and the most important step. Raid the German science facility underneath the London capital building.[/quote] This sentence structure makes little sense, and, even if it were to make it work somehow, you'd need to be separating 'step and 'Raid' with a colon or semicolon, depending on the context. Either way "The first step, and the most important step." is neither a complete sentence nor complete idea. As well, if we're in London it's spelt "Capitol". Speaking of which, you have many of these smaller errors in spelling and grammar. For example "Thermal binoculars" needn't be capitalized, and it's spelt "Anti-Materiel" not "Material" Continuing on- mind you I've skipped many other minor infractions- you again continue to introduce characters with a brief paragraph- something most writers will tell you to avoid at all costs. The real thing to stress here is everyone's favorite rule of "show don't tell". Unless it's completely unavoidable you should be illustrating details to us instead of just spelling them out directly- and not only that, but you shouldn't be doing it in the middle of a battle. Take some time to introduce [i]all[/i] of your important characters before the action begins, in the tense moments leading to it the mission. Again you should be describing their presence as much as their backstory. What are the characters doing in this particular moment that gives the reader an idea of who they really are, not just who they are on paper? The next major error is you seem to have completely skipped major details of the environment- I didn't know it was night until the fifth-to-last paragraph ("using the night as cover"), when it should have been made clear either before they stepped outside or as soon as they had. To be honest the exit from the underground facility was very lackluster- you haven't really asserted the gravity or importance of the group heading topside- there's very little detail about the overall enemy presence or implying how dangerous the mission really is. Another problem I have is that, while you've done a very good job of properly utilizing quotation marks for dialogue, the dialogue itself is very unnatural. Things like "metal monstrosity", "the gateway to freedom waits through those doors", or "bullet in the chamber" sound very off-key and inconsistent in this context, and don't do any service to making the characters feel alive. As a whole, it's clear you've put in the effort, but your foundation is shaky- you need to develop your characters and your backstory to prepare a clean template with which to craft your story. As is I'm largely unattached to your story since it seems very artificial and impersonal- you gloss over important details while your focus is instead of the action and dialogue, but I feel like you've spent so much time filling in the backstory that I have little idea about what's really occurring in the moment. Don't be discouraged, but take a step back and consider where you want this to go- you need to consider your roadmap and decide when and where you should be developing your characters, and establishing the plot- you can't do it in a paragraph and have a convincing story unless you've carefully and intentionally laid out every word. [editline]2nd December 2013[/editline] Also if you plan on incorporating any feedback you get and reposting it later on for further evaluation and critiques, you should create a separate thread so it doesn't clutter up this one- which is largely used for miscellaneous digital paintwork and one-off pieces.
[QUOTE=WoodzyX88;43042872][URL]http://imgur.com/a/toZzp[/URL] If you all could spend a couple minutes, read these, and give me some feedback I would greatly appreciate it. I just recently finished planning everything out and moved onto the writing portion. Heavy W.I.P[/QUOTE] Bin it, read a hundred books, age several years, try again
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;43043398]Bin it, read a hundred books, age several years, try again[/QUOTE] I literally should have just said this :(
[QUOTE=Biscuit-Boy;43043411]I literally should have just said this :([/QUOTE] come back to 393 :(
I have no airsoftings, no money!
[QUOTE=Biscuit-Boy;43043545]I have no airsoftings, no money![/QUOTE] :'(
[QUOTE=WoodzyX88;43042872][URL]http://imgur.com/a/toZzp[/URL] If you all could spend a couple minutes, read these, and give me some feedback I would greatly appreciate it. I just recently finished planning everything out and moved onto the writing portion. Heavy W.I.P[/QUOTE] From the way your writing, it's like we are just looking down on what is happening. I'm no writer but you need to write more from the first person to engage the readers more. You jumped into the story really quickly too - that's not always a bad thing but it feels like your piece is rushed.
[QUOTE=Biscuit-Boy;43043131]-Long wall of text-[/QUOTE] Yeah I figured I would post it in here since it is still creative work, and I was only going to ever post that one bit. I just had an idea to try my hand at writing, with no real experience behind me and wanted to know how I did. I'm most likely as Mako said bin it and just forget about it since I am not actively pursuing writing or attending university for it or anything. I appreciate the feedback from all of you though as it is something I wouldn't be able to get from any friends or anything because they would lie to make me feel better.
Oh glad to know I wasted my time and effort trying to help. Thanks for disclosing that you didn't put any effort in or expect any effort out ahead of time.
:v: he didn't say that at all biscuit, what are you bitter for
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