[QUOTE=Maloof?;44337311]Code is a rubbish way of formatting fiction because any time you put in an 'if' or an 'or' it treats it like a conditional and highlights that son of a bitch[/QUOTE]
Be there a better alternative?
[editline]24th March 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Whomobile;44337327][IMG]http://puu.sh/7HpNT.png[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Less populated it may be, but the graphic design thread would likely suit you much better for this type of endeavor, I believe.
oh wow totally missed that thread, I'll post it there as well I guess.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;44334126]you've really improved with this one. way more expressive than your previous stuff. one of the first times i've been able to look at your piece without immediately going "xephio made this"
[editline]23rd March 2014[/editline]
what's the studio btw[/QUOTE]
thanks man <3
KeoKen interactive, small studio with like 5-6 people where I basically make concept art for 2 games and soon to be 3, pretty cool.
really been productive so thats good
[QUOTE=V_Buns;44335531][IMG]https://31.media.tumblr.com/fde9bdd1f465e5a90e048eacf41e1d2d/tumblr_n2x6noplM11rzx4geo1_500.png[/IMG]
more faces[/QUOTE]
I really dislike your style, use of colour and the repetitive nature of your contributions
Your drawings are flat as a pancake anyway, so they would definitely benefit from outlines imo. Also a more hand drawn look would be nice. Your stuff looks like it should be in vectors, but then it's also badly badly aliased. Your colours are clashy and unpleasent to a fault, and there's barely any value deviation, making for awful reads on everything you do.
take a look at - [url]http://i.imgur.com/seAA242.png[/url] [url]http://i.imgur.com/FDXsGSE.png[/url] [url]http://i.imgur.com/f8DU7qr.png[/url] :v:
When you add colour to bad value proximity, you get a "vibrating" effect, which makes the image hard to look at. It's extra gross with the high saturation you tend towards using.
A couple of palettes taken from other pictures of yours: [img]http://i.gyazo.com/98400c82b7d37bbb2d3710206e7504e2.png[/img]
[img]http://i.gyazo.com/c102711662d97e696c35375cbe6ff701.png[/img]
Note all the colours in there which are really hard to see because of how close they are.
b/w of the first one: [img]http://i.imgur.com/NCokS4w.png[/img]
I can't really crit anything else because it's so stylised, but as I said I really don't dig it. It's a very uninformed-looking style.
sorry for this post I guess :v:
Just got Illustrator and I have no idea what I am doing
[IMG_THUMB]http://i.imgur.com/2Zc0wew.png[/IMG_THUMB]
[QUOTE=imMonkeyGOD;44332212][IMG]http://puu.sh/7GJWF.gif[/IMG]
How's the flow in this animation.
Also, those colors are not meant to be final.[/QUOTE]
breaking the 180 rule aaaa
although it looks okayish in this case
[QUOTE=StupidUsername67;44335484]First half of the opening to my first shot at a real short story. It'll be about three chapters long, each being a couple of pages, with an ending I can very easily expand off of if I wanted to go full blown novel.
If anybody that actually reads it instead of skimming, any CC would be appreciated. I'd post more but I don't want to leave a giant blue box of tl;dr.[/QUOTE]
It reads a little too much like a tv script. You're writing a book, take advantage of it, give the readers a short (single sentence) description of the guy in heavy armor and then leave the rest of the explanation to the story and their imagination. The armor can stop a tank shell? Have it get shot with a tank shell. Don't give exact measurements, describe Holt as a titan and let the readers decide how tall he is. Good writing is about outsourcing your imagination to the reader. It keeps people engaged. You're trying to do all the work and it's bogging your story down.
[QUOTE=lexus04;44338381]breaking the 180 rule aaaa
although it looks okayish in this case[/QUOTE]
I don't think there is anything wrong with his camera angles at all.
The 180 rule doesn't matter much when you're not dealing with multiple people or following something along a journey (like a chase). There is nothing in that scene that is in dire need of a smooth transition from one side to another.
We break out from inside the car to the outside so there is no need for the angle to be on the same side. The gun transitions from behind to side (when it's up in the air you don't get the feeling that you're looking at it from the front) to front.
[QUOTE=imMonkeyGOD;44332212][IMG]http://puu.sh/7GJWF.gif[/IMG]
How's the flow in this animation.
Also, those colors are not meant to be final.[/QUOTE]
who is he yelling at
he's the only one there
[QUOTE=Eric95;44338449]who is he yelling at
he's the only one there[/QUOTE]
Why do you think he yells at anybody? He's clearly just yelling something.
He's pulling out his big bad cargun, what's wrong with a line like "time to kick some ass" being said when he's doing that? He's clearly chasing someone or approaching a target location with purpose.
[QUOTE=dgg;44338457]Why do you think he yells at anybody? He's clearly just yelling something.[/QUOTE]
well yeah but what's the point of yelling when nobody's gonna hear it
[QUOTE=dgg;44338439]I don't think there is anything wrong with his camera angles at all.
The 180 rule doesn't matter much when you're not dealing with multiple people or following something along a journey (like a chase). There is nothing in that scene that is in dire need of a smooth transition from one side to another.
We break out from inside the car to the outside so there is no need for the angle to be on the same side. The gun transitions from behind to side (when it's up in the air you don't get the feeling that you're looking at it from the front) to front.[/QUOTE]
well my gripe was more with the close up cut to medium where he does the lever thing
[QUOTE=lexus04;44338492]well my gripe was more with the close up cut to medium where he does the lever thing[/QUOTE]
He looks toward the direction we're sent, placing the lever in a pretty good spot. It's also still from a front angle rather than a side angle so it's not a weird jump.
[QUOTE=Eric95;44338479]well yeah but what's the point of yelling when nobody's gonna hear it[/QUOTE]
The same logic applies to getting mad at an idiot driver, there's no use yelling at him (he's too far away and won't hear you) but you yell anyway.
[QUOTE=lexus04;44338381]breaking the 180 rule aaaa
although it looks okayish in this case[/QUOTE]
Yeahhh I know. Originally there was suppose to be a shot in between the close up and lever shot, but I was cutting corners and tried to make it work.
[IMG]http://puu.sh/7yr3V[/IMG]
I was going to make the close up shot more of a frontal shot but that ended up looking weird.
Just made his head turn to keep the flow going to the next lever shot.
[QUOTE=Eric95;44338449]who is he yelling at
he's the only one there[/QUOTE]
He's got a cannon on his car and you're wondering why he's yelling?
This is really only an animation final and I just wanted to just practice on all the stuff I learned through the year including expressions.
Also, I think I'm just gonna make a thread on my stuff so I don't bloat this thread with my animations.
[QUOTE=Eric95;44338479]well yeah but what's the point of yelling when nobody's gonna hear it[/QUOTE]
Are you now questioning every cartoon ever? And most movies? And TV series?
And you once told me you had seen a lot of anime.
Have you also never talked to yourself out loud instead of thinking it?
So that dude I mentioned a while ago who was really good at drawing with a mouse, he just pumped out a drawing that looked on par with [URL="https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=tyson+murphy&espv=210&es_sm=122&tbm=isch&imgil=TcuKKWO3N_GSpM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcRbF-1BGNY0jO_BFaoPCPG9q2QEA2RKc2zu1ycoFVZNgttNiLu2%253B1536%253B960%253B0N_USmBeOidf7M%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252F3dcoat.blogspot.com%25252F2011%25252F01%25252Ffeatured-artist-tyson-murphy.html&source=iu&usg=__NwYOJ8rPi7d_N8ajcOOBF7pxWOs%3D&sa=X&ei=6EIwU7XVC-yV7AasxYGwBg&ved=0CDIQ9QEwAA#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=bOVckFGXcRgR-M%253A%3BzfVB827Lhj5l8M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fimage.blizzgame.ru%252Fassets%252FGalleryPhoto%252F1%252FHorde-Pandaren.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwow.blizzgame.ru%252Fgallery%252Fhorde-pandaren%252F%3B3607%3B3530"]Tyson Murphy[/URL] in an hour, with a mouse...
While 2 girls were swooning over him, he said his tablet drawings are worse and that his mouse-drawings are much more clean.
I'm really starting to hate this guy :(
[QUOTE=Wickerman123;44339268]So that dude I mentioned a while ago who was really good at drawing with a mouse, he just pumped out a drawing that looked on par with [URL="https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=tyson+murphy&espv=210&es_sm=122&tbm=isch&imgil=TcuKKWO3N_GSpM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcRbF-1BGNY0jO_BFaoPCPG9q2QEA2RKc2zu1ycoFVZNgttNiLu2%253B1536%253B960%253B0N_USmBeOidf7M%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252F3dcoat.blogspot.com%25252F2011%25252F01%25252Ffeatured-artist-tyson-murphy.html&source=iu&usg=__NwYOJ8rPi7d_N8ajcOOBF7pxWOs%3D&sa=X&ei=6EIwU7XVC-yV7AasxYGwBg&ved=0CDIQ9QEwAA#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=bOVckFGXcRgR-M%253A%3BzfVB827Lhj5l8M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fimage.blizzgame.ru%252Fassets%252FGalleryPhoto%252F1%252FHorde-Pandaren.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwow.blizzgame.ru%252Fgallery%252Fhorde-pandaren%252F%3B3607%3B3530"]Tyson Murphy[/URL] in an hour, with a mouse...
While 2 girls were swooning over him, he said his tablet drawings are worse and that his mouse-drawings are much more clean.
I'm really starting to hate this guy :([/QUOTE]
Being jealous isn't healthy. Some people may be better skilled in one way like mouse drawing than drawing itself. It's not like the guy miraculously obtain the skill from thin air, he probably practiced a lot of mouse drawing to get where he is.
[QUOTE=imMonkeyGOD;44339369]Being jealous isn't healthy. Some people may be better skilled in one way like mouse drawing than drawing itself. It's not like the guy miraculously obtain the skill from thin air, he probably practiced a lot of mouse drawing to get where he is.[/QUOTE]
Drawing and art is a bitch to learn if you want to improve. Aint no easy way out, one of the reasons I don't draw/practice so often.
[QUOTE=Eric95;44338449]who is he yelling at
he's the only one there[/QUOTE]
Have ever been driving a car alone and someone does something idiotic in front of you? It's very therapeutic to shout at grandma who misses chance #3 to get out of the roundabout when you're running late.
Working on this thing
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxftEhX0wGo[/media]
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;44337477]I really dislike your style, use of colour and the repetitive nature of your contributions
Your drawings are flat as a pancake anyway, so they would definitely benefit from outlines imo. Also a more hand drawn look would be nice. Your stuff looks like it should be in vectors, but then it's also badly badly aliased. Your colours are clashy and unpleasent to a fault, and there's barely any value deviation, making for awful reads on everything you do.
take a look at - [url]http://i.imgur.com/seAA242.png[/url] [url]http://i.imgur.com/FDXsGSE.png[/url] [url]http://i.imgur.com/f8DU7qr.png[/url] :v:
When you add colour to bad value proximity, you get a "vibrating" effect, which makes the image hard to look at. It's extra gross with the high saturation you tend towards using.
A couple of palettes taken from other pictures of yours: [img]http://i.gyazo.com/98400c82b7d37bbb2d3710206e7504e2.png[/img]
[img]http://i.gyazo.com/c102711662d97e696c35375cbe6ff701.png[/img]
Note all the colours in there which are really hard to see because of how close they are.
b/w of the first one: [img]http://i.imgur.com/NCokS4w.png[/img]
I can't really crit anything else because it's so stylised, but as I said I really don't dig it. It's a very uninformed-looking style.
sorry for this post I guess :v:[/QUOTE]
No no, don't be sorry. Thank you for saying this because I couldn't of seen what was wrong with my drawings, and I would've continued to suck. I've got a long ways to go it seems. I can definitely see what you mean about my color choice. I also know I need more value deviation, which is something I've been putting off for an unhealthy amount of time. The "anti-aliasing" you see is actually just my brush, which started off as an experiment, which has gone on for too long at this point.
Thanks, again.
[QUOTE=dgg;44339628]Working on this thing
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxftEhX0wGo[/media][/QUOTE]
I think the blinking is too slow, so is the iris movement.
[QUOTE=Galactic;44338400]It reads a little too much like a tv script. You're writing a book, take advantage of it, give the readers a short (single sentence) description of the guy in heavy armor and then leave the rest of the explanation to the story and their imagination. The armor can stop a tank shell? Have it get shot with a tank shell. Don't give exact measurements, describe Holt as a titan and let the readers decide how tall he is. Good writing is about outsourcing your imagination to the reader. It keeps people engaged. You're trying to do all the work and it's bogging your story down.[/QUOTE]
Thanks. I find it hard to get out of the scriptwriting, but I'm trying. I can't seem to find the sweet spot between providing enough information for the imagination and providing to much information.
[editline]24th March 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;44337301]It reads like a 14 year old wrote it. The adjectives in particular are very basic, it's nastily expository (0 suspension of disbelief, 0 investment in your world and characters) informal language blah blah
And the formatting is the same as the last one of these you posted
[code] /code remember[/QUOTE]
Short of posting a snreencap I can't do anything about the format. I couldn't get code to work. Could you elaborate a bit on my use of adjectives? I could use different ones, but I don't want to go all thesaurus and turn it into even more of a slog.
For everyone who ever wants to write anything, again I can only recommend you go to [url="http://www.timclarepoet.co.uk/"]timclairepoet.co.uk [/url]and read as much as you possibly can. He critiques the first pages from user-submitted writing of various quality, and always has great advice in regards to coming out of the gate strong, eschewing unnecessary details, and refining your writing style without being pretentious or dull. Seriously, anyone who writes stuff please read through a few submissions, if not all of them.
You don't necessarily have to even agree with him, but it's always worth considering.
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;44336248]:( i dunno how to make it more dynamic
i just made him run like how i watch soccer players run
[editline]24th March 2014[/editline]
should i bring his right knee forward more when he swings it up?[/QUOTE]
Just look at some other animations
[IMG]http://24.media.tumblr.com/fd15f4539b10b1fa570152fbc821a13c/tumblr_ms6vck2YiW1qeszi5o1_500.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WEILflT.gif[/IMG]
[QUOTE=StupidUsername67;44335484]First half of the opening to my first shot at a real short story. It'll be about three chapters long, each being a couple of pages, with an ending I can very easily expand off of if I wanted to go full blown novel.
If anybody that actually reads it instead of skimming, any CC would be appreciated. I'd post more but I don't want to leave a giant blue box of tl;dr.[/QUOTE]
Another thing, add some more variety to your sentences. I notice a lot of your sentences end with dangling participles, which are all right in scarcity, but not so much when they're thrown all over the place. They aren't all right at all in proper English, but as a fictitious author I think if you know how to make it sound nice and flow well, you can have whatever liberties you please. (Look at The Book Thief -- filled with run ons, incomplete sentences, etc. But the author knows how to pull it off)
I can tell you write a lot like I used to. Just keep working on it and review others' writings that you enjoy, to improve your own work.
Some of you are experienced with Flash, right? I'm having trouble exporting a little animation I did to gif format. For whatever reason Flash doesn't automatically make gifs animated if you select that as an export option, but when I did try to export it as a gif, it looked awful. [I]Horrendously[/I] bad. Does Flash and/or gifs just not play well with gradients or dithering or whatever? I swear I've made things before that exported fine.
IIRC gradients in flash exported gifs are just really bad. It has something to do with the amount of different colors you can fit into a gif.
[QUOTE=Kagrs;44342676]IIRC gradients in flash exported gifs are just really bad. It has something to do with the amount of different colors you can fit into a gif.[/QUOTE]
Fuck. I wish there was a better alternative to gifs, then.
[editline]24th March 2014[/editline]
Hell, it looks fine when it's not animated:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/Khl6RE1.gif[/t]
[editline]24th March 2014[/editline]
Ha, and now it's totally fucking broken, it won't even animate shittily. Thanks Flash.
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