• Creative Work That Doesn't Deserve A Thread
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I'd really love to see the background developed more fully. Like, a really seedy tavern with some moody lighting would really take it to the next level.
[QUOTE=Zakkin;45037093][img]http://i.imgur.com/5abH8K6.gif[/img] Practicing a laser effect in pivot. Somebody said it looked like water.[/QUOTE] Because you're make it look too heavy and voluminous. Don't have so much shadowing and bending of the beam. Make it straight and fast.
Me and a couple of friends want to go into Film later on. For our Media A-Level, we made a short film and I wanted to get some criticism on it because we've been getting a lot of praise from everyone around. Our initial idea was based on the Stanley Parable, but it changed as we went through. [video=youtube;A11HDrS069k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A11HDrS069k[/video]
The high shutter speed in some of the shots is rather off-putting. I don't know what this is shot on but I'd have to assume DSLR, and one of the key things is keeping your shutter speed as low as possible to ensure your frames have a pleasant degree of motion blur to keep it filmic. If this is a DSLR, look to lowering ISO and ND filters to achieve that effect. If not, there are still solutions, lemme know what type of camera you have bb <3 As well, again assuming DSLR, is this handheld? Even a dirt-cheap shoulder rig will really help you smooth out your shots while keeping your setup flexible and lightweight. The contrast between what appear to be tripod or otherwise locked-down shots is sometimes a bit jarring. The shots with them both entering their offices- very very cool. Maybe a little stiff with the acting but it's very well choreographed. Another note, some shots do appear a touch underexposed. Try to keep a photographers eye when filming and have every shot have just a bit of pure white and a bit of pure black whenever possible. From 1:00 on I'm noticing quite a bit of shots that I'd consider rather underexposed. Especially the shot at 1:55. Although I understand you may have chosen to leave the character darker in the shot, I think even the background and shot in it's entirety is too dark. As far as the story progression/character arc- I didn't find the pencil snap to be particularly motivating. It's a bit of a jump from 'monotonous office setting and a shot of man brooding' to 'angrily snapping pencil'. I'd liked to have seen him expressing more frustration with his work prior, but it does make a good close to the act. Again at 2:20 when the left man peers around, not the greatest acting. It's not horrible but it's a bit unconvincing. The music score when he's looking for the guy is perhaps a bit too dark. He's just gone outside, it's not like he's been out murdering scores of people or anything. As a quick note I'd have chosen a low angle when he picks up the tie from the table at 3:05. It seems much too casual, or even almost lazy, when you've been spoiling the audience with relatively cinematic shots up until this point. You're probably aware but the effect at 3:50 with the shots blurring together doesn't really work with the shots not locked on a tripod. Again you probably learned this lesson, but if you don't have a tripod, consider framing your shot wider and up-resing your shot so that you can motion track them to each other and still have a relatively seamless effect, albeit at a slightly lower resolution. The door shot at 4:08 looks very cool, but I find it a bit unmotivated. The coworker hasn't really had a revelation of any sort as far as I'm aware, he's just going outside. You could still use the shot but I'd have tried to linger on it less to avoid implying that it's overly important. Maybe I'm wrong though, I've mostly been looking at it as a cinematographer, I'm not good with character and plot so much. The ending is cute if a bit awkward logistically. I think it's strange to go from him standing on a bridge, cut to black, and then suddenly he's at the top of a hill. If you'd had a more logical geographic transition that would have been nice. Anyways, overall I'd give it a 6 or 7 out of ten. Most of the camerawork is good if a bit dark and occasionally juttery/shaky. The acting isn't amazing and it's certainly not profound, but it's definitely competent enough, and were I grading it I'd probably be a bit more generous considering it's only a student film. Cheers :)
[QUOTE=Biscuit-Boy;45037781]Awesome advice[/QUOTE] Wow, thanks so much! Yup, we shot it on two DSLRs, the majority was on Nikon D3100, and the sequence in between the second and third cut to black were shot with a D3200. Yeah, when I was editing I noticed how washed out and poopy the colours looked. Haha, we're completely aware of our lack of acting skills, but we had to star because of nobody else being available at the time. Likewise, we don't have a lot of money but a stabiliser of some sort is definitely on the list. Cut to blacks were my method of connoting passage of time, I know it's not very effective but I didn't have much of an idea on how to do it any other way. Also, my friends are kinda those "The workplace is so oppressive" type of people, so it was ultimately meant to be symbolic of "breaking free of the monotony of the workplace", which is where the signifcance of that walking-out-the-door shot originated. Thanks for the advice, I'll pass it on and make sure to keep it in mind in the future! :)
You don't need a proper stabilizer, frankly you don't even want one. Something like a GlideCam HD4000 is impossible to use for any duration unless you're the hulk or you have the $2000USD arm and vest kit. I just mean anything cheap that will let you redistribute the weight to your shoulders. I've heard decent things about [url="http://www.adorama.com/FPVSS.html?gclid=CKGJ26K1674CFSlgMgod930ARQ"]this "spider rig"[/url] for how little it costs. Anyways, I'm really glad I could help. The most important thing your any aspiring film maker is just to keep making things. Even if the end result is terrible, you'll learn so much every single time you do it. EDIT: Oh and for the colours, being as you live in England there isn't much you can do :( It still looks very well shot on an average.
[QUOTE=Biscuit-Boy;45037222]I'd really love to see the background developed more fully. Like, a really seedy tavern with some moody lighting would really take it to the next level.[/QUOTE] It's kind of bad that I'm excusing myself from trying just because I have a lot more cards to do, but hopefully I'll get to flush out something a lot more developed after this project.
[t]http://i.imgur.com/Xf84K5K.png[/t] I drew a bearded dude.
His ear is upside down
I think the lack of eyeballs is more noteworthy myself
Here are are few very recent watercolors(beinfang)+ pen (pilot v5. v7) [t]http://i.imgur.com/QWWPZfH.jpg[/t] [t]http://i.imgur.com/9cZE0aV.jpg[/t] [t]http://i.imgur.com/TAIY1dv.jpg[/t] [t]http://cdn.dickblick.com/items/228/92/22892-0099-3ww-l.jpg[/t] [t]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/611rE3Kd8uL._SL1500_.jpg[/t]
You guys probably get this question a lot, but what is the best drawing tablet to begin with for a budget? I can find some older Wacom Pen & Touch tablets for like 50 euro's, would these be good enough? Also, I would like to use it for stuff outside drawing, like graphic design and stuff
[QUOTE=double D;45041927]You guys probably get this question a lot, but what is the best drawing tablet to begin with for a budget? I can find some older Wacom Pen & Touch tablets for like 50 euro's, would these be good enough? Also, I would like to use it for stuff outside drawing, like graphic design and stuff[/QUOTE] I have a 5+ year old molested Intuos GD which I can still work fine on so a 50 euro Wacom bamboo or such would be just fine for a beginner.
[QUOTE=double D;45041927]You guys probably get this question a lot, but what is the best drawing tablet to begin with for a budget? I can find some older Wacom Pen & Touch tablets for like 50 euro's, would these be good enough? Also, I would like to use it for stuff outside drawing, like graphic design and stuff[/QUOTE] These guys make Wacom-quality tablets (so I've been told, I don't own one tbh) and are far far cheaper. [url]http://www.huion-tablet.com/product/[/url] Definitely don't get a really low end Wacom, you can spend your money better.
alternatively, buy a monoprice [url]http://www.monoprice.com/Category?c_id=113&cp_id=11303[/url]
it started with a sketch that I made &#8203;&#8203;in the train. [IMG]http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/160/3/5/tree_house_by_dhartx-d7ln9tp.png[/IMG] the sketch: [url]http://imgur.com/BGyqqxf[/url]
Classic skyscraper I designed. To be honest... I like them a lot more than modern skyscrapers. [IMG]http://oi62.tinypic.com/21oym3c.jpg[/IMG]
Perspective seems a little off on the spire (whatever it's called - the tall bit) Maybe use vanishing points? It's cool non the less and I agree, older architecture is way better than most modern architecture.
[QUOTE=Wickerman123;45044104]Perspective seems a little off on the spire (whatever it's called - the tall bit) Maybe use vanishing points? It's cool non the less and I agree, older architecture is way better than most modern architecture.[/QUOTE] That I know. it's a rough sketch I drew in freehand. I will redraw it again from scrap and correct the mistakes that are in the sketch.
[QUOTE=The Vman;45021162]Here's some gameplay from the game I'm working on. Obviously it's in very VERY pre-alpha. The idea of the game is that it's a multiplayer room breaching game where there's a team that has to attack a building and another team that has to defend it. Both teams are given about 1:30 to plan how they want to attack/defend, then they try to enact their plan to the best of their ability. The actual gunfight when you breach is over usually within 30 seconds, and usually whoever had the better plan wins. I started work on the particle effects but that's pretty much the only art that's actually in right now. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwddfEi4DqQ[/media][/QUOTE] I hate to burst you're bubble, but it seems some folks at Ubisoft had the same idea as you. They're demoing something very similar - but with graphics and gameplay much more akin to battlefield. It's got the planning, the breaching, the gunfights and you have to rescue hostages.. That's in no way a cue to give up, just a heads up that your idea ain't so original anymore and good luck with the development.
[QUOTE=Wickerman123;45051407]I hate to burst you're bubble, but it seems some folks at Ubisoft had the same idea as you. They're demoing something very similar - but with graphics and gameplay much more akin to battlefield. It's got the planning, the breaching, the gunfights and you have to rescue hostages.. That's in no way a cue to give up, just a heads up that your idea ain't so original anymore and good luck with the development.[/QUOTE] Yea was just watching the stream. Ours is faster past with more of an emphasis on the original plan, but it's still some bad news bears for us.
[QUOTE=The Vman;45051569]Yea was just watching the stream. Ours is faster past with more of an emphasis on the original plan, but it's still some bad news bears for us.[/QUOTE] Don't give up man, you might come up with or refine ideas that end up being more solid. Also, are you planning on developing an art style or is it staying minimalist like it's current state?
[QUOTE=Wickerman123;45051737]Don't give up man, you might come up with or refine ideas that end up being more solid. Also, are you planning on developing an art style or is it staying minimalist like it's current state?[/QUOTE] Yea we're gonna be arting it up. I posted this picture earlier in the thread. [t]http://i.imgur.com/cEcjCRK.jpg[/t] We want to go the way of 80's sci fi, Robocop meets Judge Dredd, which is an opportunity to expand the gameplay past the limits of the real world, which is a plus.
[QUOTE=The Vman;45052008] Robocop meets Judge Dredd[/QUOTE] So... my two favorite things.
Another gameplay vid made by our project lead. Right now we're in deep discussion of how we want to market the game now that R6 is out there. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH-UdSpHbL0[/media]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/8wC4o37.jpg[/IMG] Crit appreciated
are we aloud to post literary works here? like poems or short stories, or do we need a thread for that?
yeah, people post prose and verse on occasion but there tend to be less of us that are authors/poets than artists so you might not get much of a response
[QUOTE=lintz;45054197]yeah, people post prose and verse on occasion but there tend to be less of us that are authors/poets than artists so you might not get much of a response[/QUOTE] ah alright, well I wrote this poem that is deidcated to a girl Im hopelessly in love with A Sky not so blue, a World not so free, but all I want is you and me. I feel numb, oh so numb, my feelings finally taking form. But as I live and as I breath my heart still longs for you. But as I live and as I see It is clear that I am living a dream. For in a world not so free with a sky not so blue I will always long for you. Hope you liked it :)
There should be a thread for written pieces, it seems to becoming more popular but as mentioned, most of the people in here are contemporary artists, not writers.
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