Not content but, a few months ago, someone posted some drawing tips from that one dude on Deviantart who does those comics with cat characters, anyone remember who that was?
Finally, here's the four characters (for the first release) for the mobile game:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/A2IVRCR.png[/t]
[QUOTE=AaronM202;46760763]Not content but, a few months ago, someone posted some drawing tips from that one dude on Deviantart who does those comics with cat characters, anyone remember who that was?[/QUOTE]
I think it's a she, don't remember her name but the comic is called Lackadaisy iirc
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;46760938]I think it's a she, don't remember her name but the comic is called Lackadaisy iirc[/QUOTE]
Ah, so it is.
been meaning to start reading that for ages actually, she's such an A++++ character artist
Well I got 5 hours sleep and remained awake for 16 hours when I wrote this after work with the flu so I could easily blame it on being delusional, but you know.
Also, I live in new york and fucking hate trains.
[B]He slouched forward and said, "I don't even know any more." as he turned his legs over the backrest of the bench, he lands in a squatting position on the ass-part of the seat in the hundred-some-year train station infested with mice and pigeons, of which, are the only audible presence other than the passengers to-be waiting for the
train in the same station. The man takes this time to contemplate the people he has known, and decisions he should've made. A sigh leaves his lungs along with the visible vapor that's left behind on a cold night, only visible by the dimly lit, flickering florescence near the edge of the train platform.
When the train rumbles, and rocks the station, a crowd gathers below those lights.
If one tried hard enough they could easily believe they were the only person in Brooklyn on this icy night.
A man who bares a striking resemblance to Bruno Mars enters the train, as his eyes adjust to the bright lights inside of the car, he gazes up to the stops he's about to pass on his trip tonight. He sits to the right of a man reading some novel by someone nobody cares about. He sits to the left of a woman who deeply stares into her technology and never breaks her gaze, almost as if she's in a trance.
Not far away is a mother, bouncing, she breastfeeds her child and rocks the child to sleep in her arms.
The Mother observes an Asian woman with hair in the shade of a dark fruit punch enter the train.
The Mother gets distracted with the Mexican man playing guitar on the end of the car. She smiles and rocks the baby to the music.
In that moment, time stood still. In that moment, the train shook heavily and the passengers felt the impact of a crashing train, when the roof of the metal train car falls into pieces as if it was made of glass, leaving deep wounds near the end of the train, killing the guitarist.
In that moment, the momentum breaking makes the mother drop her child to the floor, silencing him, before he could ever speak. The woman engaged in her cell phone never sees it coming, while the Bruno Mars watches it happen. The woman with dark fruit punch hair is confused when she thought her hair dye began to drip.
Sitting on the bench, a man remains physically unharmed.[/B]
okay, literary ambitions, here we go...
[B]the ass-part of the seat[/B]
[t]http://th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/330/9/1/college_project___fancy_animal_by_daemonwhite-d87s2gr.png[/t]
Here's a college piece I did. Take a famous painting, and replace the people with animals. I was also contemplating starting commissions on DA to get some quick bucks for steam, or maybe a free-ish lunch when I go back to college.
If this, and the pikachu image would be considered top quality I could do, what would be a fair price to ask for, do you think?
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;46761241]okay, literary ambitions, here we go...
[B]the ass-part of the seat[/B][/QUOTE]
:v: who said "[I]ambitions[/I]"?
It's supposed to be.. somewhat funny, is it? lol
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;46761241]okay, literary ambitions, here we go...
[B]the ass-part of the seat[/B][/QUOTE]
If you can't play with language when you're writing then what is the point?
I enjoyed that description. The world is moving in different ways and I think there is a space for that consciously casual prose
[t]http://i.cubeupload.com/nPBou8.jpg[/t]
Fuck hands, oh my god.
Something i decided to doodle.
[QUOTE=bunguer;46760912]Finally, here's the four characters (for the first release) for the mobile game:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/A2IVRCR.png[/t][/QUOTE]
Looking really nice, good luck with the launch!
I'm looking for a good reference app. Something cheap, pose-able, and something I wouldn't have to spend more time learning than using. I've tried Makehuman, and Blender and found Blender to difficult for my immediate needs. I've been using [URL="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.alienthink.posetool3d&hl=en"]Pose Tool 3D[/URL] and it works well but I'd like to edit models and/or add props. Any suggestions?
[QUOTE=Teh_Medic;46761021]Well I got 5 hours sleep and remained awake for 16 hours when I wrote this after work with the flu so I could easily blame it on being delusional, but you know.
Also, I live in new york and fucking hate trains.
[B]He slouched forward and said, "I don't even know any more." as he turned his legs over the backrest of the bench, he lands in a squatting position on the ass-part of the seat in the hundred-some-year train station infested with mice and pigeons, of which, are the only audible presence other than the passengers to-be waiting for the
train in the same station. The man takes this time to contemplate the people he has known, and decisions he should've made. A sigh leaves his lungs along with the visible vapor that's left behind on a cold night, only visible by the dimly lit, flickering florescence near the edge of the train platform.
When the train rumbles, and rocks the station, a crowd gathers below those lights.
If one tried hard enough they could easily believe they were the only person in Brooklyn on this icy night.
A man who bares a striking resemblance to Bruno Mars enters the train, as his eyes adjust to the bright lights inside of the car, he gazes up to the stops he's about to pass on his trip tonight. He sits to the right of a man reading some novel by someone nobody cares about. He sits to the left of a woman who deeply stares into her technology and never breaks her gaze, almost as if she's in a trance.
Not far away is a mother, bouncing, she breastfeeds her child and rocks the child to sleep in her arms.
The Mother observes an Asian woman with hair in the shade of a dark fruit punch enter the train.
The Mother gets distracted with the Mexican man playing guitar on the end of the car. She smiles and rocks the baby to the music.
In that moment, time stood still. In that moment, the train shook heavily and the passengers felt the impact of a crashing train, when the roof of the metal train car falls into pieces as if it was made of glass, leaving deep wounds near the end of the train, killing the guitarist.
In that moment, the momentum breaking makes the mother drop her child to the floor, silencing him, before he could ever speak. The woman engaged in her cell phone never sees it coming, while the Bruno Mars watches it happen. The woman with dark fruit punch hair is confused when she thought her hair dye began to drip.
Sitting on the bench, a man remains physically unharmed.[/B][/QUOTE]
first thing's first. tenses. your tenses are all over the fucking place. decide on whether you want to write in past or present tense and [I]stick[/I] to it.
secondly, your sentences have an over abundance of commas. split your sentences, make some long, make some short. vary the pacing. look. i'm doing it right now, as i explain the concept to you. it adds more impact, creates a flow in the story that sucks the reader in.
thirdly, your description is rather lackluster. this is old hat, but the old adage "show, don't tell". you say the crash kills the guitarist. how? it's understandable if you want to play down the violent nature of the incident, but honestly, if you're describing a disaster like this, you shouldn't be shying away from describing something like, "A tear in the flesh of the air rends the guitarist's face from his head, his body becoming little more than meat and tubes as metal shards flay him alive."
fourthly, don't write about stuff that isn't relevant to the story. you've already pointed out that no one cares about who wrote the novel; why mention it then? just say he's reading a novel and that's enough detail to fill in the setting, but not so much that it's overly focused on pointless minutae.
you have a good concept here and i do like that. if you knuckle down later and rewrite it, you could have something really striking
okay, writing critique, here we go...
[B]first thing's first[/B]
yes you're right
first thing [B]is[/B] first, because that is the usage i intended on using.
[editline]22nd December 2014[/editline]
irrespective of whether i'm right or not, that doesn't mean my critique isn't valid.
[QUOTE=lintz;46766442]yes you're right
first thing [B]is[/B] first, because that is the usage i intended on using.[/QUOTE]
oh you intended to get the expression wrong? lol my mistake then
[QUOTE=lintz;46766442]
irrespective of whether i'm right or not, that doesn't mean my critique isn't valid.[/QUOTE]
lol obviously, relax
cmon bro don't be a toerag
[QUOTE=AaronM202;46762050][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/nPBou8.jpg[/t]
Fuck hands, oh my god.
Something i decided to doodle.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/355/c/4/spider_man_by_mister_sn-d8ap7up.png[/img]
Finished it a few minutes ago, fixed the hand.
Figuring out all the legalese for Rights of Reproduction and whatnot is crazy. Now I know why we hire lawyers.
On the other hand though
[IMG]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83454840/Librarian%20Dec%2022.png[/IMG]
Hey I won that Playstation contest :v:
Time to decide if I should sell it or keep it as a collector's item.
Hard choices...Hard choices...
Concept arts I made for Portal 2 mod. 30 mins for each pic, so quality is not best.
[t]http://puu.sh/dE7tG.jpg[/t]
[t]http://puu.sh/dEUJn.jpg[/t]
[QUOTE=_demolisher_;46769823]Concept arts I made for Portal 2 mod. 30 mins for each pic, [B]so quality is not best[/B].
[t]http://puu.sh/dE7tG.jpg[/t]
[t]http://puu.sh/dEUJn.jpg[/t][/QUOTE]
that's bullshit and you know it
it's goddamn gorgeous
[QUOTE=kmlkmljkl;46769864]that's bullshit and you know it
it's goddamn gorgeous[/QUOTE]
Still could be more polished
Marines from Space
[IMG]http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/355/a/7/space_marine_by_captain_asparagus-d8aos0u.png[/IMG]
[QUOTE=_demolisher_;46769887]Still could be more polished[/QUOTE]
take the compliment loser
[QUOTE=_demolisher_;46769823]Concept arts I made for Portal 2 mod. 30 mins for each pic, so quality is not best.
[t]http://puu.sh/dE7tG.jpg[/t]
[t]http://puu.sh/dEUJn.jpg[/t][/QUOTE]
JUST 30 minutes? Shit, I could only do one of those in 2-3 days. And even then, it wouldn't be nearly as polished as what you did. You have volumetric lighting, reflections, and proper shadows that I could only dream of making.
And yeah, take the compliments dammit.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;46770291]take the compliment loser[/QUOTE]
Compliments are good, but criticism is better.
They're a bit hard to crit since you haven't polished them and so there's lots of little issues there that you would likely fix that you don't need to be told about. They're pretty effective mood pieces and that's probably all you wanted? there's a lot of unresolved areas/seams due to the heavy use of photos so maybe display 30min pieces at a smaller size where it's less apparent
I'd appreciate some feedback on creative writing, if it's not too much trouble. Below is the opening paragraph to something I've been slowly working on for a few years. One of the things I've always felt weakest on is pacing, so I'd like to know if people think it feels too fast or needs more description
[img]http://i.imgur.com/aTRCk3r.png[/img]
Like, if you picked up this book or whatever, would you feel compelled to read more? Why/why not?
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