[img]http://i.imgur.com/CgV62cD.jpg[/img]
Wireframe (cliclable)
[img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/FEWLaqi.jpg[/img_thumb]
Totally forgot about the 'eye flow' in composition, remembered just now by looking at it.
Too many dark areas and not enough highlights imo.
I hate to say this Christ but while the idea is really ambitious, but after shading, the core subject (floating city) is lost due to the darkness, people (I) look at it and say "Oh hey, is that something on a mountainous area?" instead of "Is that a floating city?".
Brighten it up. Increase your value range. With this I think 4-10 will be fine. (1 = black, 10 = white)
A few doodles
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/3Kvjxpv.png[/IMG]
[QUOTE=J. F. Christ;40614333][img]http://i.imgur.com/CgV62cD.jpg[/img]
Wireframe (cliclable)
[img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/FEWLaqi.jpg[/img_thumb]
Totally forgot about the 'eye flow' in composition, remembered just now by looking at it.[/QUOTE]
You might want to have a redo because your original line work is REALLY nice, its just let down by the fact you cant see half of it in the shaded version :(
[QUOTE=J. F. Christ;40614333][img]http://i.imgur.com/CgV62cD.jpg[/img]
Wireframe (cliclable)
[img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/FEWLaqi.jpg[/img_thumb]
Totally forgot about the 'eye flow' in composition, remembered just now by looking at it.[/QUOTE]
I think if you do some contrast balance this would look great, add some atmospheric fog etc. Because right now everything kind of blends in together. (It looks flat)
Something is off around the neck..
[IMG]http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/132/4/f/stuff__1_by_rikimaru6811-d64zmdk.jpg[/IMG]
[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]
Also sorry for the crappy image. I blame iPhone3G's cam.
One shoulder is higher than the other, I think. His neck/head also seem a bit small in proportion to the rest.
[QUOTE=ElectricSquid;40615370]One shoulder is higher than the other, I think. His neck/head also seem a bit small in proportion to the rest.[/QUOTE]
Yeah. That's what you get when you don't sit properly.
"Badges??[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/DHi67A3.png[/IMG] We don't need no stinking badges!"
[QUOTE=joqqy;40614967]A few doodles
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/3Kvjxpv.png[/IMG][/QUOTE]
The (presumably) Native American face near the bottom left makes me think immediately of "Last of the Mohicans" and romantic scenes of Appalachia.
do you have any formal teaching joqqy? ever taken classes? you mention you just doodle as a hobby but your work shows a really solid understanding of drawing, enlighten me as to how you've gotten so good!
and pls team up with a writer and a colourer and make a great little comic please
[QUOTE=CobaltCrysis;40612363][IMG]http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/131/4/3/the_big_catbugski_by_lightsydeturian-d64yn60.png[/IMG]
God I need a life...[/QUOTE]
Put the ball in a little blanket.
[Img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/941935_376383285804510_1556564559_n.png[/Img]
what my semester has been doing the for the last 2 weeks.
[Img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/943291_592679827418613_1829761133_n.jpg[/Img]
our groups model, in 1:20
[Img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/197764_10200181146515606_242238614_n.jpg[/Img]
how it was in the end, before we put on some wires to make the whole thing a bit less wonkly
What is it?
we were given a theme and we had to build a spatial structure around that theme. I dont really know if theres a word for it but its kind of like an architectural sculpture of some sort. As in, its an object that should be aesthetically pleasing and it can also let the viewer in, allow it to interact with the object etc.
[QUOTE=rikimaru6811;40615280]Something is off around the neck..
[IMG]http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/132/4/f/stuff__1_by_rikimaru6811-d64zmdk.jpg[/IMG]
[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]
Also sorry for the crappy image. I blame iPhone3G's cam.[/QUOTE]
The chest is too wide for the small head, or the head is too small for the wide chest, take your pick I guess? :P Also can I ask what this is? if its an anatomical study we can crit it better if we know.
It's my thoughts.
[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]
I'll pay attention to the width more next time.
My last batch of expressionistic impasto paintings were generally well recived so here is more.
Painted in oil with palette knives on prepared surface.
[IMG]http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7043/8731356347_8fb4878f55_z.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7053/8731356543_3f79f86cc2_z.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7133/8732476546_f628aed579_z.jpg[/IMG]
Also a poster I did for a local venue. I got 80 quid for it.
[IMG]http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7325/8718612532_bf716a26d7_z.jpg[/IMG]
Oh damn! That lightning and rendering is superb.
[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]
@Mr Cake Fingers to my scribbles above, is he looking up, down or straight?
[QUOTE=Barnhouse;40615828]do you have any formal teaching joqqy? ever taken classes? you mention you just doodle as a hobby but your work shows a really solid understanding of drawing, enlighten me as to how you've gotten so good![/QUOTE]
thx.
I don't have any formal training and I have never taken classes. I am not sure of the solid understanding. I don't know, maybe it is my sloppy style that give the impression that I know more than I do. When it comes to art, I really don't have that much knowledge, as I just draw, without much thinking (which I guess is a bad thing, but I am a sucker for bad habits). But if you guys like it, all well and good :), I bow my head.
[QUOTE=joqqy;40617549][...] I really don't have that much knowledge, as I just draw, [b]without much thinking [/b](which I guess is a bad thing, but I am a sucker for bad habits). [...][/QUOTE]
This could precisely be because you have a pretty solid understanding of how to draw, so it's just "in your hands".
[QUOTE=joqqy;40617549]thx.
I don't have any formal training and I have never taken classes. I am not sure of the solid understanding. I don't know, maybe it is my sloppy style that give the impression that I know more than I do. When it comes to art, I really don't have that much knowledge, as I just draw, without much thinking (which I guess is a bad thing, but I am a sucker for bad habits). But if you guys like it, all well and good :), I bow my head.[/QUOTE]
When you think, you stink.
[QUOTE=rikimaru6811;40617493]Oh damn! That lightning and rendering is superb.
[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]
@Mr Cake Fingers to my scribbles above, is he looking up, down or straight?[/QUOTE]
I guess like up a bit, but..you should really look at studying anatomy before doing things out of your head. Honestly It does you no good if your trying to be accurate, learn to walk before you can run brah.
[QUOTE=joqqy;40617549]thx.
I don't have any formal training and I have never taken classes. I am not sure of the solid understanding. I don't know, maybe it is my sloppy style that give the impression that I know more than I do. When it comes to art, I really don't have that much knowledge, as I just draw, without much thinking (which I guess is a bad thing, but I am a sucker for bad habits). But if you guys like it, all well and good :), I bow my head.[/QUOTE]
you do not understand how jealous I am, and the fact that you mentioned that drawing is not your first thing, but computing is that made me even more envy. :(
can we swap talents or something
So I made a logo for a fictional space-science company thing
[t]http://i.imgur.com/Zrl7Vi6.png[/t]
I would love some constructive criticism on this short story:
[table=align:left,width:900]
[tr][td]
[quote]
[B]A Crashing Wave[/B]
It was the first second of the long fall. His mind had not yet been able to comprehend what his body was doing, even though it had come up with the idea itself. Running through his mind was merely a slight feeling of surprise, no fear. You cannot be afraid when you realize that there is nothing to be afraid of. He was merely a man with a failure of a life, and had nothing to do with anything of greatness, so what did he have to fear? He did not believe anyone would disapprove of what he was doing anyway. They might even be happy about it.
He felt it tug at his feet, both the air he fell through and something else which he had forgotten about, but nothing could stop the fall now. 200 meters down below he saw waves moving across the water in a calm and rhythmic way. They had been there for countless of years, and would be there for countless more. He could attribute neither of the two to himself. He was merely something that could break their path for a few moments, but no matter what he did they would return to how they were now, until the end of days. He was nothing like a wave.
It had been two seconds since he took the step out into the empty air. He found the perfect word to be “gratifying”. That was the emotion which ran through his entire body as he fell through the air and felt the wind tug at everything that he was. He took notice of how everything, from his dark brown hair to his recently splintered toenail, his gray t-shirt and the scar on his back, seemed to want in the opposite direction. Just like his life, only the opposite. Before he was desperately trying to climb, to achieve great things, but ended up being pulled down toward darkness. It wasn't until now, when he was falling deliberately, that he was finally prevailing over everything else. It was going his way for once.
When he realized that he had made the choice to fall himself, the choice to take the step out from the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, he was filled with some sort of joy. This is what he did as a child. Back then he was never as easily discouraged as he had been the last couple of years. Back then he was always enthusiastic, and it did not matter what the task at hand was.
As he got older however, the cliffs he was jumping off of grew slippery. He was over-thinking what he once did not think about twice. He threw the brake. Slowed down. Came to a halt. What once was a blooming flower had withered. What once was a train pushing forward in hundreds of miles per hour had now for the first time ever stopped. What once was a child with hopes and dreams had now become nothing but a husk. Forgotten were the dreams. Where had they gone?
During the six seconds the fall took he could only think of one logical answer: To fear. He now lived in fear of what might go wrong. He was wary, and doubtful.
When you are young nothing depends on your success. If you mess up a problem in math, you do it again until you get it right.
If you make a mistake with the girl you incorrectly think you love, it doesn't matter. You're still young and have plenty of years to go.
If you fall when jumping from a cliff to another, your mother will be there to blow the pain away.
When you have grown up, that changes. You start living in fear of what might go wrong, so the only thing you can do is watch as things do.
Three seconds had gone by since the fall began. As that third second passed, more images emerged from his memory, appearing if only for a millisecond. Images of how energized he was as a boy, with dreams of becoming an astronaut, or a movie star. Turns out life is as cruel as its people, and instead of reaching the stars or becoming one himself, he turned up in an office that he despised and never left. The best thing to happen to him during those years was Jay, but he had left him recently, after about two years, complaining about what he said was a lost sense of adventure. Complaining about the work he was doing. He had never understood what he meant, but Jay had been right, as he had always been.
Thinking about it, he found it ironic. He had been together with a man named Jay, a name carrying the meaning “blue crested bird”, for two whole years, and now he was falling after only days without him. Thinking of his past one and only did him no good, but only brought him onto thoughts he should have forgotten or at least suppressed long ago. He remembered the look of harsh disappointment in his Catholic father's eyes. The tears in his mother's. He never knew who they were meant for.
No need to think about it, as he had not met his parents in two years, but for some reason he could not imagine an image as easily imprinted in one's mind as a father's look as he shut the door to the house where his only son grew up, locking him out for what he knew would be an eternity. He shook it off in the air, it didn't matter.
Instead, as the fourth second of his fall began, he looked down. The wind hurt his eyes, but squinting he could see the calm and quiet waves come closer.
His eyes wet, and it annoyed him greatly. Strange how the human mind can prioritize feeling annoyance toward water in your eyes because you cannot see when the only thing you could possibly see is more water than ever emerged from those eyes approaching you in an impressive speed.
It was five seconds since he had taken the step off of the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge. Five seconds he had been falling. The waves came closer, and he was stung by a moment of fear. What if it did not work out the way it should? What if something went wrong? Would he be spending the rest of his useless life paralyzed, or would it be worse? Most likely the latter. It was only a moment, however. The fear was soon replaced by joy. Joy for falling.
Up and down his life had gone. Calmly or wildly, depending on how the wind was blowing. Interrupted by some, but always returning to its normal state sooner or later. He was more like a wave than anything else.
The final second of the fall he spent in peace. He closed his mouth and his eyes, silencing the scream which he had almost unconsciously kept up, and hiding his life which he knew was coming closer.
He could almost have heard the sound of the waves if not for the wind drowning every sound like he himself could drown in but a moment. His eyes were shut. His mind was clear. His love for life was as strong as when he was a child, jumping off of cliffs that were not slippery in the slightest. Jumping on a trampoline, pretending to be a bird in the air, not frightened of falling off and crying.
He was no bird, he could not fly. He was not meant to reach the top of the world. He was meant to fall.
With that realization he accepted what he was doing, and prepared for the impact. The calm water would become wild for a moment, it would form ripples, and then everything would be back to normal, only with a floating body taking the place of water. Then he would be one with his life, only seconds after losing it.
It never happened.
[/quote]
[/td][/tr][/table]
Too many thoughts in the middle of it? Any especially weak paragraphs? Is the ending too weak or unclarified?
My goal was to write a short story that spanned no longer than ten seconds, and now I'm just looking to make it decent qualitywise as well.
too avant-garde
[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Fhux;40619297]I would love some constructive criticism on this short story:
[table=align:left,width:900]
[tr][td]
[/td][/tr][/table]
Too many thoughts in the middle of it? Any especially weak paragraphs? Is the ending too weak or unclarified?
My goal was to write a short story that spanned no longer than ten seconds, and now I'm just looking to make it decent qualitywise as well.[/QUOTE]
i don't think a third person perspective really works for a scene like that but that might just be me