[QUOTE=Talvy;48781]like, how many more pages of "WTF!?!" to really make his condition worse.[/QUOTE]
You're right, we need to find this out definitively.
i'd coddle op
What a fucking rollercoaster this shitstorm was.
A daring story of a youngman suffering from a a myriad of mental disorders. Suffering from the pain of losing an eGirlfriend. Whos relationship was forged from the fires of pity and human spirit. In his journey in one of the internets most finest writing examples, we have experienced and viewed this mans brain in the jumbled confusion it is. An interesting mind it was, one that was detached from the universe, where reality was null and void. As if he was neo, albeit a slower and more retarded Keanu Reeves.
Fast forward a year, and a mysterious but yet familiar name appears and bumps this thread up. With tangible proof as this may not be a troll. Still, she shows the disgust that she must wear, but regardless ccame back to the gold mine that this once was. We heard the stories of him going to Isreal, and dry humping his young cousins. Him denying it and admitting he went to loony bin to loony bin, but he was already 2 flights over the kookoos nest.
So here we are today, sitting here in wonderious amusement of the novelty as this may be reality. A man, so detacted from reality, brought us all closer to reality that we're all pretty normal. This guy though, hes a special kind of person.
I wonder if hes some how mentioned in the "Weird kids from school" thread, because honestly.. he should.
And so Mikey Coleman, i bid a salute to you sir. You're a genius without being one. You're a comedian, without being one. You all warm our hearts with your cold stories of disgust and piss balloons. Well played my friend (without being one).
How did I miss this the first time around???
[QUOTE=RzDat;48781471]Please sticky this thread, this is amazing :v:[/QUOTE]
Perhaps not sticky, but it certainly needs to be documented on Wikipunch.
I was always kind of enamored by the israel story in a way
I always wondered what'd be like to just throw yourself in the deep end and just start tramping across the world.
Like what if I just took my wallet and whatever I was wearing and just decide to walk from Pennsylvania to Belize.
This thread is so unreal. It's hard to believe that someone like him exists. If he really has been to the mental hospital over and over, but they keep releasing him, what can be done for him? I don't see how he'd be able to survive in the world unless he became a complete recluse.
[QUOTE=Kahgarak;48781582]Perhaps not sticky, but it certainly needs to be documented on Wikipunch.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://pokit.org/get/img/1a390dcf9d820fc86289128b96f57232.jpg[/IMG]
I'm all for it
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I have [i]had[/i] a lot of [i]dicks[/i]. Since the creation of [i]the universe[/i] I have gone through a lot [i]of dicks[/i]. I admit, I was heartless [i]in my pursuit of cock[/i]. I put [i]myself[/i] through an emotional [i]flurry of never-ending shaft[/i]. I constantly used my thoughts [i]of willy[/i] to manipulate [sp]this poor girl[/sp]. I'm not a pedophile [i], unless it is for smooth and veiny lovestick[/i]. In January of this year I finally came to the realization that I [i]have a problem with the manjunk[/i]. At the time all I could think of was to say something so awful to Sabrah, [i]so[/i] that she would no longer [i]compete with me for my fix[/i]. I wanted to [i]suck all the cocks[/i]. I didn't want her to feel [i]inferior to my natural ability[/i]. After I sent my disgusting email to Sabrah, I jumped off of a wall in Jerusalem in[i]to a pit of penis[/i]. Obviously this didn't work. As I was laying on the ground, having received nothing more than a few scrapes, a young woman walked by and was playing music. The singer had a British accent. I decided at that point, since I had never [i]had any of that sweet British pasty, if you know what I mean[/i], that I would use my remaining funds to fly to London. When I arrived in the London airport I got flagged by security. I had no luggage, I had no plans, and I didn't answer any questions well because I was [i]busy thinking whether I could escape via piss balloon[/i]. After an hour or two talking with a guy in a suit, while he searched me and my stuff, I finally admitted that I [i]was only there to sample some of their tasty British fish'n'chips... if you know what I mean[/i]. I spent the night in a room they had supplied for me at the airport. At 2am another guy in a suit came and woke me up telling me that my flight was leaving soon. Without telling me, they had booked a ticket for me to the JFK airport. [i]I was disappointed that I didn't try any toad in the hole. If you know what I mean[/i].[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=cdr248;48781585]I was always kind of enamored by the israel story in a way
I always wondered what'd be like to just throw yourself in the deep end and just start tramping across the world.
Like what if I just took my wallet and whatever I was wearing and just decide to walk from Pennsylvania to Belize.[/QUOTE]
I knew a guy who did basically that. He flew to some middle eastern country I can't remember and walked a few thousand miles to palestine (or it might have been israel, it was one of those), doing odd jobs along the way and staying at peoples' houses. Then he almost got killed in isreal (or palestine, can't remember) by the police because they thought he was a palestinian (or israli) spy.
By contrast, OP moped around for a few months and jumped off a wall. He could've done a lot better IMO.
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;44564343]
[IMG]http://i62.tinypic.com/vrfz7m.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
if you told me to think of the whitest kid i could, this is what i would think of
A+ thread.
[QUOTE=Ryz0;48781729]if you told me to think of the whitest kid i could, this is what i would think of
A+ thread.[/QUOTE]
This is the face of piss balloons and pedophilia.
[QUOTE=TheWhiteFox1;48781085][B]WTF?!?!?![/B] can we perma this guy and has he been reported to authorities?[/QUOTE]
he may or may not be a registered sex offender
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I was frustrated with my lack of help, so I looked up cults to join. I joined a cult that call themselves The Twelve Tribes.[/QUOTE]
what
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]After 2 weeks I was fed up and attempted to pour bleach into my eyes.[/QUOTE]
what
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I found out about a treatment called electroconvulsive therapy. I received 16 sessions.[/QUOTE]
what
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I'm currently enrolled in training to become a conductor for the railroad.[/QUOTE]
[b]what[/b]
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]Every day I told them that as soon as I got out I was going to kill myself. I don't know why, but they said I was only doing it for attention so they released me.[/QUOTE]
believe it or not, this more than anything makes this story sound like bullshit to me. I mean this is pretty much CRIMINALLY irresponsible for a mental institution to say.
"I'm gonna kill myself"
"JESUS CHRIST will somebody get this lying, attention-seeking crybaby out of my ward? Throw him out on the street, I did not become a psychiatrist to listen to this kind of bullshit."
[QUOTE=Loofiloo;48781944]what
what
what
[b]what[/b]
believe it or not, this more than anything makes this story sound like bullshit to me. I mean this is pretty much CRIMINALLY irresponsible for a mental institution to say.
"I'm gonna kill myself"
"JESUS CHRIST will somebody get this lying, attention-seeking crybaby out of my ward? Throw him out on the street, I did not become a psychiatrist to listen to this kind of bullshit."[/QUOTE]
Why try to decypher a broken message that yearns for the love for what it is. Read and understand, this is a brilliant mind of something so broken, not even JB weld and super glue can repair. It is your grandmothers lamp that you broke, there was nothing you could do to console and relieve the pain of your doing. Except this lamp dry humped your prepubescent cousins. And tried to gain your pity by attempting suicide so many times, you breaking it was almost a gift.. a treat to it, and for mankind.
well this is pretty fucked up
This thread is just surreal. For the first time ever I actually found myself starring blankly into my own screen for several minutes.
Ohhh god guise I took four lexapro and I'm sooo fucked up lmao.
So are you planning to join the US Army then instead of IDF?
Ahhhh if just this guy performed his Israel army feat a few years later.
I bet he would get the magical idea to join ISIS and the story would be so much more hillarious...
[QUOTE=Havolis;48780737]in this thread:
20% content
80% of "wow this thread is amazing"[/QUOTE]
Unless either of people involved posts there's not gonna be much content in here.
[QUOTE=Waffle cones.;48782213]oh hey its this thread again
[URL="http://mikenopa.tumblr.com/"]btw op is this your collection of shitty emo poetry?[/URL][/QUOTE]
[t]http://i.imgur.com/eiO4PsQ.png[/t]
well it matches the track record
[quote]Swallowing my way forever[/quote]
At least you're not a spitter. I, Ricardo Simmons, approves of this.
[quote]Goodbye I say[/quote]
You didn't even say hello, and you're already swallowing.
[quote]forget me[/quote]
Hard to, with a technique as dank as that
[quote]make it easy on yourself[/quote]
You swallowed, so cleanup isn't an issue
[quote]i still love you[/quote]
Clearly. Since you swallowed.
this is some of the weirdest and funniest shit I've read all month
holy shit OP
[QUOTE=TheWhiteFox1;48781085][B]WTF?!?!?![/B] can we perma this guy and has he been reported to authorities?[/QUOTE]
I think she told his parents and his dad tried to cover it up but it spread to the rest of his family and I think he's a registered sex offender now.
[editline]28th September 2015[/editline]
Here it is:
[QUOTE=SabrinaS;48775909]I showed the email to his family. His father tried to cover things up,•but the aunt and other members got involved. I believe he is a registered offender now. I haven't really heard much about him.[/QUOTE]
I never expected to see this thread again. I totally forgot about it and am amazed to see piss balloons returning.
How tall was that wall that you actually failed to commit suicide by jumping from it? Like holy shit dude, I feel bad for you and all despite your delusional and twisted ways, but did you stop to maybe perceive how long the fall was or did you just blindly jump and hope you died?
This is the most intense thread I've seen on FP.
[editline]28th September 2015[/editline]
Piss balloon
[QUOTE=gangleider;48782257][t]http://i.imgur.com/eiO4PsQ.png[/t]
well it matches the track record[/QUOTE]
it's okay since we know he didn't but imagine if you stumbled on this completely out of context, just some miserable rambling friendless tumblr with an unread suicide note at the end. you'd think this dude's probably a mummified corpse sitting in an apartment by now
[QUOTE=Cone;48782692]it's okay since we know he didn't but imagine if you stumbled on this completely out of context, just some miserable rambling friendless tumblr with an unread suicide note at the end. you'd think this dude's probably a mummified corpse sitting in an apartment by now[/QUOTE]
I'm not going to condone or promote suicide, but I think this guy lacks the capability and capacitance in killing himself.
Get your shit together Mikey, learn how to make a slip knot and learn drop distances. I wouldn't want to live with all that pain. Or when you get old and wise (maybe, we'll see about that), you'll remember this thread. That time you made an ass of yourself on the internet.
You just throw your dirty laundry out there, and this forum was supportive at first. Just telling you to not do it after you asked for their opinion. And then you're all like "No, it is perfect. it is the wisest decision to make" as if why make the thread at all? Which in fact, we're all super glad you did.
This thread has provided me laughs from last year, and laughs again this year. If you're a troll, or if you're not... I'll remember the Mikey Coleman. Edgiest writer 2014, and 2015.
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