[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I'm currently enrolled in training to become a conductor for the railroad.[/QUOTE]
A conductor? All aboard the crazy train!
Video related:
[video]https://youtu.be/eW7qBjXP-Ks[/video]
I'm not sure if this thread is funny or just really fucking sad.
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I have a lot of problems. Since the creation of this thread I have gone through a lot. I admit, I was heartless to Sabrah. I put her through an emotional hell. I constantly used my suicidal thoughts to manipulate her. I'm not a pedophile. In January of this year I finally came to the realization that I was being a manipulative jerk. At the time all I could think of was to say something so awful to Sabrah, that she would no longer talk to me out of pity. I wanted to kill myself without hurting her. I didn't want her to feel guilty. I have never had any sexual thoughts about a child. I have no charges or any legal things at all. After I sent my disgusting email to Sabrah, I jumped off of a wall in Jerusalem in an attempt to kill myself. Obviously this didn't work. As I was laying on the ground, having received nothing more than a few scrapes, a young woman walked by and was playing music. The singer had a British accent. I decided at that point, since I had never been to England, that I would use my remaining funds to fly to London and kill myself there instead. When I arrived in the London airport I got flagged by security. I had no luggage, I had no plans, and I didn't answer any questions well because I was very nervous. After an hour or two talking with a guy in a suit, while he searched me and my stuff, I finally admitted that I only came there to kill myself. I spent the night in a room they had supplied for me at the airport. At 2am another guy in a suit came and woke me up telling me that my flight was leaving soon. Without telling me, they had booked a ticket for me to the JFK airport.
I guess at this point they didn't care that I killed myself or not, as long as I didn't do it in their country. The flight to New York was fine. I slept most of the way and watched a few movies. When I arrived in New York I made the first logical decision I had made in a long time: I checked myself into a psych ward. From the airport, I walked to the Jamaica Queens Hospital and admitted myself. I was there for 2 weeks and my dad bought me a Greyhound bus ticket back to my home. I was still very depressed at this point. After a month I checked myself into another mental hospital. I stayed here for a week. At this point I was frustrated with my lack of help, so I looked up cults to join. I really don't know why I thought this was a bright decision. I joined a cult that call themselves The Twelve Tribes. I lived with them for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I was fed up and attempted to pour bleach into my eyes. I couldn't keep my eyes open, and ended up just burning my thighs and my face.
I decided that I can't do this anymore. I was going to get serious about getting help. I found out about a treatment called electroconvulsive therapy. I received 16 sessions. This was very expensive and I still have hospital bills from that experience. Unfortunately, it did not help. The doctors were frustrated. It has a 90% success rate. From here I went through 8 weeks of intensive outpatient therapy. I learned a lot of useful information there. I still had depression, though. A month later I attempted to kill myself by overdosing on my medications. This was a horrible experience. I vomited all night and had multiple seizures. I peed myself. At around 4am I attempted to walk, but was extremely dizzy. My grandparents had heard me fall and helped me to the car. I was in the psych ward for another two weeks. I had given up on seeking help at this point. I didn't even bother leaving my room. I ate whatever the brought me and nothing more. Every day I told them that as soon as I got out I was going to kill myself. I don't know why, but they said I was only doing it for attention so they released me.
I attempted to overdose on benadryl the next night. My brother and I share a room and I guess I started hallucinating, so he called an ambulance for me. I woke up in the hospital and my mother was crying. I had been in coma for a few days. It was at this point that I decided I would no longer attempt to kill myself. I really suck at it. I've attempted multiple times, and it never works. I'm currently enrolled in training to become a conductor for the railroad. I still have depression. I'm receiving weekly therapy and taking 4 medications daily. I never thought that this thread would be a part of my life again, and I plan on it continuing to not be. I'm only replying because I got an email saying that someone commented on my "love letter." Reading that letter now I just laugh. It is such a cruel and dumb letter. No sane person would write this and expect anything but for the reader to be repulsed or begin mocking. I'm still mentally ill, but I am trying to get better. This is a process. It will take me time until I am normal... I may never fully recover.
Thank you.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Y3Bcevq.png[/IMG]
I have never before read the phrase "piss balloon" so many times in one night.
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I have a lot of problems. Since the creation of this thread I have gone through a lot. I admit, I was heartless to Sabrah. I put her through an emotional hell. I constantly used my suicidal thoughts to manipulate her. I'm not a pedophile. In January of this year I finally came to the realization that I was being a manipulative jerk. At the time all I could think of was to say something so awful to Sabrah, that she would no longer talk to me out of pity. I wanted to kill myself without hurting her. I didn't want her to feel guilty. I have never had any sexual thoughts about a child. I have no charges or any legal things at all. After I sent my disgusting email to Sabrah, I jumped off of a wall in Jerusalem in an attempt to kill myself. Obviously this didn't work. As I was laying on the ground, having received nothing more than a few scrapes, a young woman walked by and was playing music. The singer had a British accent. I decided at that point, since I had never been to England, that I would use my remaining funds to fly to London and kill myself there instead. When I arrived in the London airport I got flagged by security. I had no luggage, I had no plans, and I didn't answer any questions well because I was very nervous. After an hour or two talking with a guy in a suit, while he searched me and my stuff, I finally admitted that I only came there to kill myself. I spent the night in a room they had supplied for me at the airport. At 2am another guy in a suit came and woke me up telling me that my flight was leaving soon. Without telling me, they had booked a ticket for me to the JFK airport.
I guess at this point they didn't care that I killed myself or not, as long as I didn't do it in their country. The flight to New York was fine. I slept most of the way and watched a few movies. When I arrived in New York I made the first logical decision I had made in a long time: I checked myself into a psych ward. From the airport, I walked to the Jamaica Queens Hospital and admitted myself. I was there for 2 weeks and my dad bought me a Greyhound bus ticket back to my home. I was still very depressed at this point. After a month I checked myself into another mental hospital. I stayed here for a week. At this point I was frustrated with my lack of help, so I looked up cults to join. I really don't know why I thought this was a bright decision. I joined a cult that call themselves The Twelve Tribes. I lived with them for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I was fed up and attempted to pour bleach into my eyes. I couldn't keep my eyes open, and ended up just burning my thighs and my face.
I decided that I can't do this anymore. I was going to get serious about getting help. I found out about a treatment called electroconvulsive therapy. I received 16 sessions. This was very expensive and I still have hospital bills from that experience. Unfortunately, it did not help. The doctors were frustrated. It has a 90% success rate. From here I went through 8 weeks of intensive outpatient therapy. I learned a lot of useful information there. I still had depression, though. A month later I attempted to kill myself by overdosing on my medications. This was a horrible experience. I vomited all night and had multiple seizures. I peed myself. At around 4am I attempted to walk, but was extremely dizzy. My grandparents had heard me fall and helped me to the car. I was in the psych ward for another two weeks. I had given up on seeking help at this point. I didn't even bother leaving my room. I ate whatever the brought me and nothing more. Every day I told them that as soon as I got out I was going to kill myself. I don't know why, but they said I was only doing it for attention so they released me.
I attempted to overdose on benadryl the next night. My brother and I share a room and I guess I started hallucinating, so he called an ambulance for me. I woke up in the hospital and my mother was crying. I had been in coma for a few days. It was at this point that I decided I would no longer attempt to kill myself. I really suck at it. I've attempted multiple times, and it never works. I'm currently enrolled in training to become a conductor for the railroad. I still have depression. I'm receiving weekly therapy and taking 4 medications daily. I never thought that this thread would be a part of my life again, and I plan on it continuing to not be. I'm only replying because I got an email saying that someone commented on my "love letter." Reading that letter now I just laugh. It is such a cruel and dumb letter. No sane person would write this and expect anything but for the reader to be repulsed or begin mocking. I'm still mentally ill, but I am trying to get better. This is a process. It will take me time until I am normal... I may never fully recover.
Thank you.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/Ajw96kQ.jpg[/img]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Flaming / Dont tell users to kill themselves" - Swebonny))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=fudge blood;48777531][img]http://i.imgur.com/Ajw96kQ.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
How about we [I]not[/I] tell anyone to go kill themselves, regardless of how fucked up they may be?
I'm just joking, I don't want anybody to kill themselves.
[QUOTE=fudge blood;48777636]I'm just joking, I don't want anybody to kill themselves.[/QUOTE]
This guy is the wrong motherfucker to joke around with. He may well do it.
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]Thank you.[/QUOTE]
No my friend, thank you. Thank you for this experience.
[editline]27th September 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]
I tried to kill myself and failed, then I flew to England to try and kill myself, then I got sent to New York and joined a cult, then I poured bleach in my eyes and somehow failed at whatever I was trying to accomplish, so then I electrocuted myself for several weeks, then swallowed a bunch of pills to try and kill myself again, but failed so hard I went into a coma, then one thing led to another and now I'm a train conductor.[/QUOTE]
Jesus, just let the man die already. Seriously though, this motherfucker must be destined to banish an ancient evil or something because he just won't die no matter how hard he tries.
This thread cheered me up. Thanks OP. But seriously... get help.
Holy hell I completely missed this thread last year somehow. What a ride.
[QUOTE=exhale77;48776562]If this is real, the majority of you are very insensitive. This whole thread so far has been wildly unethical with regards to it's comments.
Where's the Facepunch that helped that suicidal man a week ago? Someone who is (severly) depressed and suicidal is [I]never[/I] something to laugh at.
Look at yourselves. Take a long look.[/QUOTE]
He tried to kill himself many times but set himself up for failure every time. It's obvious that he doesn't want to die, he just wants attention. This guy has some kind of extreme personality disorder and is completely unable to see the world from any point of view other than his own. All of his interpersonal interactions are formulated exclusively in the framework of how they benefit him: he doesn't care about the well-being of others, he only cares about how he can make them like him more.
It's 10 in the morning and this thread is gonna haunt me the whole day.
This thread is unreal
What a convenient time to make popcorn
This thread has everything.
i would watch a movie based on OP's adventures, especially the israel part
[QUOTE=raviool;48778490]i would watch a movie based on OP's adventures, especially the israel part[/QUOTE]
the secret life of walter shitty?
What the fuck? I just read through whole thread, is this even real?
The plot that is OP's life is fucking unreal. I feel like I'm reading a psychological horror book right now, man.
it honestly doesnt matter to me whether or not this is for real
it's hilarious either way, and if he was able to come up with the idea of using the term "piss balloon" in a love letter on purpose, he deserves a goddamn prize
What a ride this has been.
Thread of the year.
[QUOTE=TheWarnman;48778968]Thread of the year.[/QUOTE]
Thread of all the years.
This seems too surreal to be true, but that doesn't mean I don't secretly hope it is just for the morbid hilarity of it all.
Holy shit, disregard that. I did not see all that pedophilia stuff. Jesus.
:clickbait:
Piss balloon.
this man is my new role model for my love life
Just making sure my name is written down in facepunch history.
[QUOTE=Mikenopa;48776393]I'm not a pedophile. I have never had any sexual thoughts about a child.[/QUOTE]
doubt it
holy FUCK this thread just
why would a piss balloon even exist holy shit OP
Clocking in to this masterpiece
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.