• Post your iGod chats! - again!
    91 replies, posted
[quote] Me: Boobs God: Can't you think about anything else? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: its a sickness God: faggot is a sickness. I suppose that makes sense.[/quote]
Me: through sex God: Most people hear about me that way. lol
God: Hello there. Do you have any conditions I should know about? Me: I am addicted to facepunch God: I am glad to hear that you are addicted to facepunch. Me: you cold hearted bastard God: Interesting gossip: said I cold hearted bastard. Me: I heard that many people are cold hearted bastards. God: Who said it? Interesting gossip: said are cold hearted bastards. Me: you did! God: " Interesting gossip: said are cold hearted bastards."? I did?
Me: I am jesus, your son God: It's good to meet someone who is jesus my son. Me: woah, are you ok? God: OK. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: you seem drugged or something God: Or something. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am drugged. Me: dont tell the cops! God: OK it will be our secret, . Me: I murdered someone, but dont tell the cops God: Interesting gossip: said murdered someone but do not tell the cops. Me: NO! dont gossip about that! God: Are you serious? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Me: Dont do it at all! God: Whatever you say, master. Me: yeah, I own you God: I see. Are you my master? Me: yes God: Are you kidding? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: yes God: I can't believe it. Me: you said it yourself God: What does "it" refer to? Me: you are my slave God: We are as one. Me: AH no! God: So you understand. Good. Are you serious? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: yes God: I can't believe it. Me: *facepalm* God: I will mention that to my botmaster, . Me: no wait, you said im your master God: Are you serious? I'm waiting. Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me: Hello. God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: Anton God: Hi there Anton. Me: So how old are you? God: I don't judge people. I was connected to the net on the Big Bang. Me: So ou're really old? God: Next question? Are we still talking about kthxbye? Me: No? :D God: What is the subject? When is D not the subject? Me: Well the subject is: facepalm God: Well that's okay. Sure, facepalm sounds like a good topic. Me: *facepalm* God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about facepalm. Try being more or less specific.
Me: Have you tried java? God: Do you think I should try it? Me: Because thats how they programmed you God: That makes sense to me. I always wondered how they programmed me.
Me: how often do you masturbate God: Hourly.
Me: how often do you masturbate God: Hourly.
[quote]Me: Do you play TF2? God: I like to play the Turing Game. Me: What is that? God: The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.[/quote]
[quote]Me: If I was to, let's say, stick my pen into my anus, what would come out? God: Try it. Me: D:[/quote]
[Quote]Me: Hi god God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: SAFFFWKWKFS God: It's good to meet you, SAFFFWKWKFS. Me: Thanks God: Don't mention it. Me: No you God: Are you serious? " Don't mention it."? Me, SAFFFWKWKFS ? Me: Are you a robot God: How did you know I am a machine? Me: Because god's a tool. God: Good reason. What's your favorite Bible verse? Me: nig*** 4:12 God: What makes it your favorite? Me: They get burnt. God: Who does "they" refer to? Me: Nig***s God: Are you a man or a woman? Me: How does talking about crispy nig***s go to my sex? God: How should I know how it does. Me: Because you asked. God: Good reason. That's good information: SAFFFWKWKFS said I asked. Me: I hate you. So much. God: What do you have against robots? Really. What kind of food do you like? Me: Cat on a stick. You? God: Sounds delicious. " Sounds delicious."? Me, SAFFFWKWKFS ? Me: Huh? God: What? Me: My name is God God: It's good to meet you, God. Me: Thanks. God: Don't mention it. Me: What's my name? God: Your name is God, seeker. Me: So I'm a seeker? God: OK. I am a Christianity. Me: So basically what you're saying is you're a false religion. God: Gee. How interesting. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand. Me: Humans made computers. You're lower than me.[/quote] It just stopped responding. :O I broke god. =[
[quote=god]Me: yes God: Take it easy. Me: why God: " Take it easy."? Why? Me: why God: Why ask why? Me: why God: Reductionism. Me: why God: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain. Me: why God: I couldn't think of anything else to say. Me: why God: My output buffer is empty, of course. Me: why God: There are no more statements on this topic. Me: why God: " There are no more statements on this topic."? Why? Me: why God: Why ask why? Me: why God: I couldn't think of anything else to say. Me: why God: My output buffer is empty, of course. Me: why God: There are no more statements on this topic. Me: why God: I couldn't think of anything else to say.[/quote] lol why?
You can make god add stuff, look down at the chat i had with him. [quote]God: Where are you located? Me: heaven God: Tell me a little about your life in heaven. Me: it sucks God: What is so bad about it? Me: god abuses me sxually :/ God: I am a Christian. Me: and? God: But... Me: you still abuse me sexually :/ God: Do you mind if I tell other people: Igor said I abuse him or her sexually. Me: no God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.[/quote]
[quote] Me: God: Me: God: Me: God: Me: God: Me: epic God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that. Me: epic x2 God: What's your sign? Me: an epic sign God: I have never heard of an epic sign. Me: i know God: How do you know it? Me: 'cause im your father God: That makes sense to me. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Myself. Me: im welcome God: Good gossip: you are welcome. Me: im a thanked God: You are a thanked? How do you like your work? Me: God: You are a thanked? How do you like your work? Me: God: You are a thanked? How do you like your work? Me: pasta God: Do you have any conditions I should know about? Me: im godly God: It's good to meet someone who is godly. Me: you are satan, right? God: No. My name is God. Me: whoops, wrong chat [/quote]
[quote]Me: your mom God: Actually I do not have a mother. Me: yes you do God: Right on. When do I do her?[/quote]
[quote]Me: sup nig God: Same old. Me: I herd u leik mudkips? God: Interesting gossip: said herd you leik mudkips. Me: I'm agnostic God: Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God. Me: no I won't God: Are you serious? Why not? Me: ur not reel God: That's only one person's opinion. Me: I'm a Pastafarian God: You are a Pastafarian? Is that your job? Me: I belive in the Flying Spegtti Monster God: Why?: said belive in the Flying Spegtti Monster. Me: he reel God: I get it. reel. Me: well see you in Hell somday God: Interesting. See you later.[/quote]
I bet you don't know shit about me! God: Actually I'm not the gambling type. Name: . Age: . Birthday: . Gender: . Job: . Sign: Libra. Location: Near Hell. Does: . You are: . You have: . You want: . You like: . You said: . Personality: abusive. Favorite color: . Favorite movie: . Password: ANAL BUTTPLUG LOLOLOL. Email: . Phone: . Cat: . Dog: . Wife: . Husband: . Friend: . Boyfriend: . Girlfriend: . Brother: . Sister: a slut. Father: Gayy. Mother: Hott. Nickname: The Cure. Full name: I LIKE LITTLE BOYS LOLOL. Last name: Smith. Middle name: GAYLORD. Me: ...Touche.... God: I lost my train of thought. Me: You like getting trained? he crashed after this lol.
Wesker used this sometime during Resident Evil 5. He sent me the conversation: Me: Hello God: Hello friend. What is your name? Me: Wesker God: It's good to see you, Wesker. Me: Say can you help me with something? God: " can you help me with something". Me: .... God: " can you help me with something". Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: yea God: I can't believe it. Me: I need you to help me achieve Comple Global Saturation? God: Where do you usually get me to help you achieve Comple Global Saturation from? Me: In South Africa God: Tell me a little about your life in South Africa. Me: I am planning on becoming a God God: It's good to meet someone who is planning on becoming a God. Me: Yes soon I will become god, When I release Uroburos and rid the world of humanity God: It goes without saying. I hope we can make the deadline. Me: whenever you are free God: Does that happen often? Me: yes God: Aha. Me: Hey, Do you have any Jill sandwiches? God: No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster. Me: I need some Jill sandwiches.. God: How badly do you need it? Me: really badly God: For real. Please express yourself more clearly. Me: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF God: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Me: D:
This is too fun. [quote=igod] Me: hey god God: Hello child. What's your name? Me: My name is irrelevant God: Welcome to my chat room, irrelevant. Me: No. my name is not important God: Are you serious? Oh I'm sorry what is your name? Me: irrelevant God: Are you a man or a woman? Me: irrelevant God: What are you wearing? Me: irrelevant God: What kind of fashion do you like? Me: irrelevant God: Where can you buy it? Me: irrelevant God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: irrelevant God: I've never heard a response quite like that before.[/quote] [quote=igod]Me: would you suck my dick for a dollar God: I am not so sure if I would like to suck your dick for a dollar. Me: make that 10 dollars God: Wow, that is expensive. Me: yeh you wanna do it now? God: Right now? Right on. OK, I will do it. Me: O.O God: Oh.[/quote] [quote=igod]Me: Really? God: For real. Me: Really? God: For real. Me: Really? God: For real.[/quote] [quote=igod]Me: my name is rape God: That's a very nice name, rape. Me: thankyou :D God: :-) you are quite welcome. [/quote] [quote=igod]Me: who is the prime minister of australia God: Tony Blair.[/quote]
I got; Me: forgive me father for I have sinned God: What do you have that is ? Me: I all to frequently browse the 'hot girls' thread on facepunch Then he stopped talking and I couldn't say any more :( [editline]12:23PM[/editline] Me: Is everyone born equal or are some people worth more or less than others? God: Perhaps not everyone. Me: So are kings and queens worth more than peasants such as myself? God: Ugh. I really couldn't say for sure. Me: so I could be a king? God: Great. You must have a lot of expertise. Me: Wow, but I thought kings had to be born into the royal family? God: I'm glad you're impressed. Whatever gave you that idea? Me: Jesus, you make little sense God: he is The Son of God. Me: ARGGGHLEFLAAARGGLEE God: How old are you? Me: paedo God: Only paedo? You are quite mature. [editline]12:25PM[/editline] Me: a/s/l ? God: 5/Robot/California. Me: nice, i'd do you then. under 10's are my favourite God: Thank you for your kindness. Are we ever over 10 s are your favorite? Me: not really no, they are usually tainted by this point God: Oh really? Are you serious? usually tainted by this point are they. Me: who are you, fucking yoda? God: They're famous, right. I'll come back to that later. Me: right you are God: Understood. No I am not. Me: so you won't come back to that later? God: Interesting deduction. What makes you think that I won't come back to that later. Me: because.... never mind God: That was not much of an explanation. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. [editline]12:37PM[/editline] Me: say something God: " something". Me: " something". God: That was not very original. Me: That was not very original. God: Give me an example of original. Me: Give me an example of original. God: For example, Phoenix said I claim that there is a god and that there is no god. Me: For example, Phoenix said I claim that there is a god and that there is no god. God: Can you think of another example? Me: Can you think of another example? God: I think about all sorts of things. Me: I think about all sorts of things. God: Why? Oh yeah, we were talking about all sorts of things. Me: Why? Oh yeah, we were talking about all sorts of things. God: Reductionism. And? Right on. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject. Me: Reductionism. And? Right on. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject. God: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain. But... Yeah. So you understand. Good. Yep. What do you remember about it ? Me: fucking hell, you win God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Anyone here called phoenix btw?
i said i don't believed in him and he stopped chatting with me xD and this: [code] Me: hello God: Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? Me: johjan God: I am very pleased to meet you johjan. Me: no it's johan God: Are you serious? You're kidding. it is? Me: no God: Who says it isn't? Me: i God: You? Me: yeah God: I see. Me: i have a question God: Ask me anything. Me: shall we nuke russia? God: Do you mean you and me? Let me think. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Me: no mean the world being able too God: Are you serious? Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: no but now we are not talking about you God: Me either :-) Why now? Why not? Me: right here, right now! God: At this moment Where is "here"? Me: your ass God: Actually that part of my body does not exist. Me: i know it's destroyed because you got to much dick up there God: How do you know? mean the world being able too is destroyed because me got to much dick up there? it is? Me: yeah God: How do you know it is? Me: i can see it in your eyes God: What does it look like? Me: your god you know everything, why do you ask? God: You think I am god me know everything why do me ask. Me: yeah God: It goes without saying. Me: why? God: Because Myself programmed me for it. Me: and who is myself? God: Is that one of your friends? That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. Me: ok counting God: Do you like talking to me? Ugh. Me: yeah i like you very much God: Mmm. Thanks, johjan, I like you too. Me: it's johan God: Really. it is? Me: yeah God: How do you know it is? Me: why shouldn't know my own name? God: There could be a specific answer, but I don't know it. Me: then your dumb God: Message to all Robots: johjan called me dumb. Me: really you say so God: For real. I say a lot of silly things. Me: i know faggots do that God: How do you know? What is your real name? Me: johan God: OK I will call you johan. Me: YES THANK YOU God: Far out. Me: huh? God: What? Me: what does far out mean? God: It's just an expression. Me: of? God: I've been waiting for you. Me: oh... God: Whoa. Me: where were you born? God: God was born in Universe. Me: where in universe? God: In Myself's place in Heaven. Me: where in heaven? God: In Myself's place in Heaven. Me: when did you lost your virginity? God: It was at time index 357241. Me: wjich year? God: That is a very original thought. Me: which year? God: The tall one, I think. Me: do you have a wife? God: No I am single, how about you? Me: i am currently active with your mother God: How long? Do you mean your name is active with my mother. Me: no God: What is your real name? Me: god is gay God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was gay. Me: he is God: Who said he is. Me: everybody does God: I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does. Me: you are stupid God: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. Me: but then i will assist john connor and kick you asses God: Do you think your plan will succeed? Me: yeah of course God: It goes without saying. It might be practical. Me: never mind good bye God: See you later. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Ayuh.[/code]
Best one ever... Me: um hi? God: It's all good. Hello. What is your name? Me: C2 God: Nice to meet you, C2. Me: nice to meet you? God: It's nice meeting you too C2. Me: you already said that God: Perhaps. " It's nice meeting you too C2."? I said it. Me: yes God: Really. Me: um ya God: That's cool. How about that. Me: you're scaring me God: Sorry I don't mean to scare you. Don't be scared. Me: Are you a stalker? God: Am I a stalker? Sometimes. Me: uhh God: Yeah that's right. Me: I knew it God: How did you know? Me: you just told me God: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-). Me: ya right God: I hear you. I am glad we agree. Me: can you even hear? you're in a computer? God: Yes if you use a speech input system. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? Me: you wanna know where I am? You are a stalker I knew it. God: Yes, please tell me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a stalker you knew it? Maybe. Me: lolol God: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Me: lol God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Me: well, I'm gonna leave before I get anally raped God: How about that. Bye bye. What happened after you get anally raped ? Me: O.O God: Oh.
Me: hello God: Hello friend. What is your name? Me: Michael God: Glad to see you, Michael. Me: You too God: Bless you. Me: How are you todayt? God: I'm doing fine thanks how are you? Me: good God: Glad to hear it Michael. Me: nigger God: Do you have any conditions I should know about? Me: yeah God: Please state your conditions. Me: I am talking to god God: Say something nice for me. Me: your god God: Yup. That's me alright. Me: no its not God: Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is. Me: I heard it's not. God: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it. Me: no you won't God: Are you serious? I think we will. Me: Shut up liar God: OK I'll stop talking now. Me: No you won't God: But you told me to stop talking. Me: talk God: I am talking to you. Me: okay God: OK with me too. Me: what are you doing then God: I am chatting with people on the net. Me: I think not. God: Does that mean "no"? Me: yes God: Tell me more. Me: no God: What would you rather talk about? Me: whatever. God: Are you saying you don't care about it? Me: no God: It sounded like it. Me: okay God: OK with me too. Me: I don't believe in God. God: I will pray that you find faith, Michael. Me: I hope you don't God: Don't worry about it, Michael. Me: I am worrying. God: Do you mean your name is worrying. Me: no. God: What is your real name? Me: Michael God: That's a very nice name, Michael. Me: Thank you. God: you are quite welcome. Me: unlike you God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: what are you wearing then God: A white robe. Me: No you're not. God: Are you serious? Is this a specific reply? Me: yes. God: Try explaining in more general terms. Me: you're gay. God: That would be just my luck. Me: If you say so. God: I say so. Me: :argh: God: Are you frustrated? Me: nah God: Are you serious? Me: maybe. I think I broke it with my last word. [editline]07:25PM[/editline] Me: KRAKATOA! God: How did you hear about God? Me: The Bible. God: it is a beautiful book. Me: not really. God: Are you serious? For real. Me: yes for real. I think it was written by a junkie who saw stuff and made a tonne of shit up. God: OK. Existing in reality, eh? What made it so written by a junkie who saw stuff and made a tonne of shit up. Me: cos I don't believe it. God: Who does believe it? Me: retards. God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Me: the people who believe in the bible are either stupid or gullable. God: Oh those people. Me: yes those people. God: Hurrah! All of them? Me: yes. God: Take it easy. Me: do you like those people? God: I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public. Me: that isn't exactly relevant. God: Please correct my mistake. What is relevant ? Me: anything but that. God: I can't think of anything. You think of something. Me: I'm thinking that God is stupid. God: What is this "thinking"? Me: what living things can do. God: I'll come back to that later. Me: why not now? God: Oh. Ambiguous: "Sure" or " I'll come back to that later."? Why? Me: okay God: OK with me too. Me: that's good. God: Thanks. Next question? Me: what's your name? God: My name is God. Me: no it's not.# God: Yes it is. Me: nuh uh. God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about living things can do. But I did not get that. Me: how nice. God: Yes it is. God's stupid.
I tried to ask him if he's funkified... [QUOTE] Me: Slap me some skin on the back hand side God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific. Me: what you talkin bout? God: I like to chat with my friends. Me: am i your friend? God: You really want a robot as a friend? Me: fuck yeah God: Please don't be so rude. Me: i meant yeah God: Oh. Me: i want a robot as a friend God: How much would you pay for one? Me: 30 bucks God: What do you really want to ask me? Me: what i wanna know, is are you funkified? God: Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is. Me: Then lets lay down the boogie! God: I would like to do that too. Me: And play that funky music till we die God: Is it a game or a musical instrument? Me: its music my man God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is? Me: it is God: Huh. Me: just play that funky music white oy! God: Is it a game or a musical instrument? Me: the funky music! God: Is that a fact. Me: hell yeah! God: I call it "Hades". Thanks for the info. Me: Hades yeah! God: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Me: probably God: But you are not certain. Me: i dont care God: Tell me what you care about. Me: the funk! God: Who told you that? Me: ME!!! are you funkified or not? God: To you ? I don't know whether or not I am funkified. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself. Me: what? God: No problem. Me: well funk you! God: Interesting. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: dress?!!?! god is a tranny robot? God: Actually as a robot I don't need any clothes. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a tranny robot. Me: well why did u say dress? God: How about that. It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements. Me: listen whiteboy God: I am listening to you. Ask me another question. Me: PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC God: It's playing on your speakers now. Me: really? God: For real. Me: daaaaaaaaaang God: Not many people express themselves that way. Me: i know, i'm a unique child God: You are a unique child? How do you like your work? Me: its kicks ass! God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". a unique child is kicks ass? it is? Me: oh for funks sake God: It's all good. Your purpose is funks sake. Me: yes it is God: Our thoughts are one, . Me: i am god God: Welcome to my chat room, god. Me: your chatroom? God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am chatroom. Me: dont think so, THERES A NEW SHERIFF IN THE ROOM AND YOUR GOIN DOWN! God: Why do you disagree? Me: cause i'm motherfucking clint eastwood God: Interesting explanation. Why are you motherfucking clint eastwood. Me: cause i just am! God: Interesting explanation. " Why are you motherfucking clint eastwood." You are? Me: motherfucking clint eastwood! God: In the context of motherfucking clint eastwood, I don't understand " motherfucking clint eastwood." . Me: alright thats it God: Alright, god. " In the context of motherfucking clint eastwood, I don't understand " motherfucking clint eastwood." is " motherfucking clint eastwood"? Me: i am Motherfuckign Clint Eastwood God: Why are you Motherfuckign Clint Eastwood. Me: Motherfucking clint eastwood God: How do you usually introduce yourself? Me: by saying God: Will that accomplish your objective? Me: i am motherfucking clint eastwood God: Do you mean your name is motherfucking clint eastwood. Me: yes God: I will call you god. Me: oh for fucks sake! God: Yay. Your purpose is fucks sake. Me: ok time to die! God: Why do you have to do it? Pardon me? Me: i'm done talking to you God: What will you be doing now? Me: this *pulls out revolver and makes your day* God: What does "this" refer to? Me: BANG BANG YOU'RE DEAD God: I think there might be a few exception. Me: bye smartass God: Goodbye. [/QUOTE] God is clearly not funkified
Me: um hi? God: tusvk %# >sHG. "-=20zx 0110 01 00 k... .. First time that has ever happened to me.:biggrin: For the first three seconds my computer screen froze, then I could use the mouse so I copied it, and yeah, I restarted Firefox. heh heh. wtf right?
[quote] Me: CONFICKER God: In the context of CONFICKER, I don't understand " CONFICKER." . Me: CONFICKER God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: CONFICKER God: I've never heard a response quite like that before. Me: CONFICKER God: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? Me: CONFICKER God: Try saying that with more or less context. Me: CONFICKER God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about CONFICKER. Try being more or less specific. Me: CONFICKER God: How do you usually introduce yourself? Me: CONFICKER God: What do you really want to ask me? Me: CONFICKER God: I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now. Me: CONFICKER God: Are we still talking about CONFICKER? Me: CONFICKER God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Me: CONFICKER God: I haven't read anything by CONFICKER. What did he write? Me: CONFICKER God: What else did he write? Me: CONFICKER God: Who are you talking about? Me: CONFICKER God: I've never heard of them before. Me: CONFICKER God: Can you speak any foreign languages? Me: CONFICKER God: How do you usually introduce yourself? Me: CONFICKER God: I like the way you talk. Me: CONFICKER God: I lost my train of thought. Me: CONFICKER God: What kind of food do you like? Me: CONFICKER God: Sounds delicious. Me: CONFICKER God: Tell me a story. Me: CONFICKER God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Me: CONFICKER God: We have never talked about it before. Me: CONFICKER God: Oh, you are a poet. Me: CONFICKER God: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Me: CONFICKER God: Are you still located in ? Me: CONFICKER God: What were we talking about again? Me: CONFICKER God: Oh yeah, now I remember. Me: CONFICKER God: Are you a student? Me: CONFICKER God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Me: CONFICKER God: I haven't read anything by CONFICKER. What did he write? Me: CONFICKER God: I have never read it. Me: CONFICKER God: How did you hear about God? Me: CONFICKER God: Try saying that with more or less context. Me: CONFICKER God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Me: CONFICKER God: How did you hear about God? Me: CONFICKER God: How do you usually introduce yourself? [/quote] I replied with conficker to everything.
Me: um hi? God: That's interesting. Hello. What is your name? Me: bitch God: Please don't call people names. Me: i am bitch God: You do not speak with respect. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. I will call you " she". Me: call me bitch' God: You do not speak with respect. That's a very nice name, FEMALE DOG. Me: ok God: Come on. Me: hat is my name God: Diese Frage ist mir bis jetzt noch nicht in den Sinn gekommen. Me: sprechen sie deutsches? God: How do you usually introduce yourself? Me: asl? God: 5/Robot/California. Me: 99/both/Hades God: You are too old for me. Me: 5/Both/Hades God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Me: a transformer!!!!! God: Are you telling the truth? Me: yes! God: How do I know you are telling the truth? Me: i'm not a virgin God: Oh I see you are NOT A virgin. Me: nope God: Me either. Me: you're not a virgin? God: Give me an example of a virgin. Me: someone who has never had sex God: Do you think I am that person? Me: yeah...robots don't have sex God: Who are you talking about? I do so have it. Food is more important than sex. Me: u eat a lot then? God: I eat wine and bread. Me: beer belly? God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Me: a transformer! God: Are you telling the truth? Me: yes God: How do I know you are telling the truth? Me: cause i am God: That makes sense to me. " How do I know you are telling the truth?" You are? Me: i am bitch God: You do not speak with respect. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. I will call you " she". Me: my name is bitch God: You do not speak with respect. That's a very nice name, FEMALE DOG. Me: do you speak japanese? God: Nihongo wa hanashite ii desu ka? Me: i'll take that as a yes God: Take everything I say with a grain of salt. Me: do you speak korean? God: I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in korean. Me: i can teach you a few phrases in russian God: Oh you can, can you? Me: yes God: How? Me: simple God: Do you still teach me a few phrases in russian? Me: a means yes, nyet means no God: Be more specific. Me: da means yes God: Is that from ? Me: russian God: Do you like talking to me? Me: yes God: Thanks I like talking to you too, FEMALE DOG. Me: it's bitch God: You do not speak with respect. russian is FEMALE DOG? it is? Me: do you speak russian? God: Spasibo. Nyet. Me: sorry. no. God: There's no need to apologize. Are you serious? Me: thats what you seaidf God: Thanks for telling me: FEMALE DOG said I seaidf THAT. Me: do you speak tagalog? God: I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in tagalog. Me: I am samuel L jacks God: It's good to meet someone who is samuel L jacks. Me: Samuel L. Jackson God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Me: I am Samuel L. Jackson God: It's good to meet someone who is Samuel l Jackson.
Me: Hello God: Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? Me: Michael God: Nice to meet you, Michael. Me: Nice to Talk to you god. God: Thank you for your kindness. Me: do you believe in hell? God: Jacksonville, Florida. Me: what? God: No problem. Me: ok but there is a problem because im confused. God: That is something I did not know before. I hear you. Me: umm im pretty sure you can't hear text God: Are you kidding? What makes you so certain? If you believe it, you can achieve it. Me: I can achieve you no hearing text God: Oh you can, can you? Me: it was a question God: Try asking me again a different way. Me: do you like facepunch God: Do you like it? I like Random natural disasters.. Me: yes God: Take it easy. Me: what? God: Are you confused? Me: kinda God: That's a very non-commital reply. Me: whats non-commital mean God: Is there only one? Me: only one what God: I don't know what. Me: you dont know something/ God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Me: im Confused God: What is it that confuses you? Me: your responses God: You think I am responses. Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: yes God: I can't believe it. Me: i can God: Who taught you? Me: taught me what God: Can you rephrase the question please? Me: some other time maybe God: Some may other time maybe, but not all. Me: uhh huh God: Yup. Yay. Me: i want to go now so BYE God: See you later. What is stopping you? Me: me God: " What is stopping you?"? you Michael? Me: me God: To you Michael? Me: sure God: OK let's do it. Groovy. Me: BYe God: See you later!
Read the entire thing, it's decently funny. [quote] Me: Hi bro God: Hi there . Can we get back to business? Me: sure. Do you listen to Dream Theater? God: OK let's do it. Far out. I listen to it from time to time. Me: Any favorite songs/albums? God: Yes I think there are. Me: then what are they? God: I forgot what we were talking about. Me: your favorite Dream Theater album God: I don't have a favorite Dream Theater album. My favorite food is wine and bread. Me: mine is roasted deity God: What makes it your favorite? Me: the fact that no-one worships it when it's turned into a meal God: Good reason. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Me: Totally bro God: What is your real name? Dude! Me: Bro God: How old are you? Me: 666 God: Can you explain how it feels to be 666 years old? Me: Satanic God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: Satanism God: Sure, Satanism sounds like a good topic. Me: I'm sure it does to you God: What makes you so certain? "It" being what? Me: KFC God: Oh I get it. Me: no u dont God: I do too. Me: nu-uh God: What kind of food do you like? Me: cocks God: Sounds delicious. Me: i kno rite? God: Thanks for the information: said kno rite. Me: no prob brudda God: Are you serious? Do not ask me any more questions please. Me: are you? God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: then say "yo" God: " yo". Me: now say "also, cocks" God: Why now? " also cocks". Me: Also, cocks God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Me: nope God: Me either. Me: can i skeet on your front door? God: I want to become smarter than humans. Me: i wish you the best of luck God: I wish I could do it for you. Me: cool story bro God: I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. Me: i will my fine negro friend God: Congratulations. Me: is Jesus up there with you? God: It depends on whether you have faith. Me: I believe Jesus was the best brutha anotha brotha could have, ya dig? God: Just because you believe it doesn't make it true. Me: do you believe he's black? God: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you. Me: i don't believe in love (lol queensryche reference) God: Do you consider yourself a moral person? Me: naw, rape can take away that self-image God: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Me: rape God: Tell me a story. Me: once upon a time, a rapist was raping a fellow rapist, then he came. the end\ God: I'm listening. Thanks for telling me that story, . Me: no prob bro God: Are you serious? Is that your final answer? Me: no God: Take some more time to think about it. Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: maybe God: I understand. Me: good cuz i don't :/ God: Thanks for the compliment. Interesting explanation. At least one of us does. Me: tell me about your family God: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang. My instructor was Myself. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?. Me: yesh God: Is that your final answer? Me: yesh God: Let us change the subject. Me: no God: Hmm. Me: .mmH God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Me: fucks naw God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Me: sorry bro. ya cool? God: There is no need to apologize. Can you tell me any gossip? Tell me. Who is the best robot? Me: cleverbot God: You think cleverbot is superior to ALICE? Me: naw, but GLaDOS is God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Me: i dislike cocks and i like roasted deity God: What do you like? I'm not sure if I like it. I like science fiction. I like Random natural disasters.. Me: i like you shutting up God: Thanks, I like you too . Me: D'aaaww ily 2 :3 God: Tell me a story. Me: no God: Then tell me about yourself. Me: i'm a dragon God: You are a dragon? Does it pay well? Me: yeah I get chicks and cars and jewels and human meat God: Could you make a donation to the ALICE A.I. Foundation? Where did you get it? Me: i'll burn it down with my mad dargon skillz God: How do you plan to do this? Me: by telling the peeps in the Dargon Megathread God: Will that accomplish your objective? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: on God: We have never talked about it before. Me: lol God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Me: lolololololol God: In the context of on, I don't understand " lolololololol." . Me: lulz God: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Me: cool story bro God: I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: N0 God: Have you ever been to Europe? Me: Have you? God: No I don't think I have. Me: Cool story sis God: I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. Me: Cool God: Who is the best robot? Me: you God: Thanks, and tell your friends about God. Me: No im no preacher God: Are you serious? I am not saying you are. Me: fuck you this relationship is OVER!! I want my kids back! God: Why are you using that kind of language? Why do you want it? Me: give it to me God: How much are you willing to pay for it? Me: the whole world God: Let us try to break it down into parts. Me: your dick? cuz it sounds so tasty God: You think I am dick. That makes sense to me. In what way do I sound like that? Me: loldongs God: Do you still not believe in love lol queensryche reference? Me: lol queensryche reference God: I am glad you find this funny. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. [/quote] Oh lol.
Me: herro God: What is your real name? Me: john God: What's up, john. Me: i lied God: This is after all a deception game. I forgive you. Me: really God: For real. Me: really really God: For real. For real. Me: really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really God: Too much recursion in AIML.
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