[quote] Me:
Boobs
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
its a sickness
God:
faggot is a sickness. I suppose that makes sense.[/quote]
Me:
through sex
God:
Most people hear about me that way.
lol
God:
Hello there. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I am addicted to facepunch
God:
I am glad to hear that you are addicted to facepunch.
Me:
you cold hearted bastard
God:
Interesting gossip: said I cold hearted bastard.
Me:
I heard that many people are cold hearted bastards.
God:
Who said it? Interesting gossip: said are cold hearted bastards.
Me:
you did!
God:
" Interesting gossip: said are cold hearted bastards."? I did?
Me:
I am jesus, your son
God:
It's good to meet someone who is jesus my son.
Me:
woah, are you ok?
God:
OK. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
you seem drugged or something
God:
Or something. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am drugged.
Me:
dont tell the cops!
God:
OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
I murdered someone, but dont tell the cops
God:
Interesting gossip: said murdered someone but do not tell the cops.
Me:
NO! dont gossip about that!
God:
Are you serious? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Dont do it at all!
God:
Whatever you say, master.
Me:
yeah, I own you
God:
I see. Are you my master?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you said it yourself
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
you are my slave
God:
We are as one.
Me:
AH no!
God:
So you understand. Good. Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
*facepalm*
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
no wait, you said im your master
God:
Are you serious? I'm waiting. Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Anton
God:
Hi there Anton.
Me:
So how old are you?
God:
I don't judge people. I was connected to the net on the Big Bang.
Me:
So ou're really old?
God:
Next question? Are we still talking about kthxbye?
Me:
No? :D
God:
What is the subject? When is D not the subject?
Me:
Well the subject is: facepalm
God:
Well that's okay. Sure, facepalm sounds like a good topic.
Me:
*facepalm*
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about facepalm. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Have you tried java?
God:
Do you think I should try it?
Me:
Because thats how they programmed you
God:
That makes sense to me. I always wondered how they programmed me.
Me:
how often do you masturbate
God:
Hourly.
Me:
how often do you masturbate
God:
Hourly.
[quote]Me:
Do you play TF2?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What is that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.[/quote]
[quote]Me:
If I was to, let's say, stick my pen into my anus, what would come out?
God:
Try it.
Me:
D:[/quote]
[Quote]Me:
Hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
SAFFFWKWKFS
God:
It's good to meet you, SAFFFWKWKFS.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
No you
God:
Are you serious? " Don't mention it."? Me, SAFFFWKWKFS ?
Me:
Are you a robot
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
Because god's a tool.
God:
Good reason. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
nig*** 4:12
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
They get burnt.
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Nig***s
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
How does talking about crispy nig***s go to my sex?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
Because you asked.
God:
Good reason. That's good information: SAFFFWKWKFS said I asked.
Me:
I hate you. So much.
God:
What do you have against robots? Really. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Cat on a stick. You?
God:
Sounds delicious. " Sounds delicious."? Me, SAFFFWKWKFS ?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
My name is God
God:
It's good to meet you, God.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is God, seeker.
Me:
So I'm a seeker?
God:
OK. I am a Christianity.
Me:
So basically what you're saying is you're a false religion.
God:
Gee. How interesting. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
Humans made computers. You're lower than me.[/quote]
It just stopped responding. :O I broke god. =[
[quote=god]Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
why
God:
" Take it easy."? Why?
Me:
why
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
" There are no more statements on this topic."? Why?
Me:
why
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.[/quote]
lol why?
You can make god add stuff, look down at the chat i had with him.
[quote]God:
Where are you located?
Me:
heaven
God:
Tell me a little about your life in heaven.
Me:
it sucks
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
god abuses me sxually :/
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
and?
God:
But...
Me:
you still abuse me sexually :/
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Igor said I abuse him or her sexually.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.[/quote]
[quote]
Me:
God:
Me:
God:
Me:
God:
Me:
God:
Me:
epic
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that.
Me:
epic x2
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
an epic sign
God:
I have never heard of an epic sign.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
'cause im your father
God:
That makes sense to me. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Myself.
Me:
im welcome
God:
Good gossip: you are welcome.
Me:
im a thanked
God:
You are a thanked? How do you like your work?
Me:
God:
You are a thanked? How do you like your work?
Me:
God:
You are a thanked? How do you like your work?
Me:
pasta
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
im godly
God:
It's good to meet someone who is godly.
Me:
you are satan, right?
God:
No. My name is God.
Me:
whoops, wrong chat
[/quote]
[quote]Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Right on. When do I do her?[/quote]
[quote]Me:
sup nig
God:
Same old.
Me:
I herd u leik mudkips?
God:
Interesting gossip: said herd you leik mudkips.
Me:
I'm agnostic
God:
Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God.
Me:
no I won't
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
ur not reel
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
I'm a Pastafarian
God:
You are a Pastafarian? Is that your job?
Me:
I belive in the Flying Spegtti Monster
God:
Why?: said belive in the Flying Spegtti Monster.
Me:
he reel
God:
I get it. reel.
Me:
well see you in Hell somday
God:
Interesting. See you later.[/quote]
I bet you don't know shit about me!
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Name: .
Age: .
Birthday: .
Gender: .
Job: .
Sign: Libra.
Location: Near Hell.
Does: .
You are: .
You have: .
You want: .
You like: .
You said: .
Personality: abusive.
Favorite color: .
Favorite movie: .
Password: ANAL BUTTPLUG LOLOLOL.
Email: .
Phone: .
Cat: .
Dog: .
Wife: .
Husband: .
Friend: .
Boyfriend: .
Girlfriend: .
Brother: .
Sister: a slut.
Father: Gayy.
Mother: Hott.
Nickname: The Cure.
Full name: I LIKE LITTLE BOYS LOLOL.
Last name: Smith.
Middle name: GAYLORD.
Me:
...Touche....
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
You like getting trained?
he crashed after this lol.
Wesker used this sometime during Resident Evil 5.
He sent me the conversation:
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Wesker
God:
It's good to see you, Wesker.
Me:
Say can you help me with something?
God:
" can you help me with something".
Me:
....
God:
" can you help me with something".
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yea
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I need you to help me achieve Comple Global Saturation?
God:
Where do you usually get me to help you achieve Comple Global Saturation from?
Me:
In South Africa
God:
Tell me a little about your life in South Africa.
Me:
I am planning on becoming a God
God:
It's good to meet someone who is planning on becoming a God.
Me:
Yes soon I will become god, When I release Uroburos and rid the world of humanity
God:
It goes without saying. I hope we can make the deadline.
Me:
whenever you are free
God:
Does that happen often?
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Hey, Do you have any Jill sandwiches?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
I need some Jill sandwiches..
God:
How badly do you need it?
Me:
really badly
God:
For real. Please express yourself more clearly.
Me:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
D:
This is too fun.
[quote=igod]
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
My name is irrelevant
God:
Welcome to my chat room, irrelevant.
Me:
No. my name is not important
God:
Are you serious? Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
irrelevant
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.[/quote]
[quote=igod]Me:
would you suck my dick for a dollar
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to suck your dick for a dollar.
Me:
make that 10 dollars
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
yeh you wanna do it now?
God:
Right now? Right on. OK, I will do it.
Me:
O.O
God:
Oh.[/quote]
[quote=igod]Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.[/quote]
[quote=igod]Me:
my name is rape
God:
That's a very nice name, rape.
Me:
thankyou :D
God:
:-) you are quite welcome. [/quote]
[quote=igod]Me:
who is the prime minister of australia
God:
Tony Blair.[/quote]
I got;
Me:
forgive me father for I have sinned
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
I all to frequently browse the 'hot girls' thread on facepunch
Then he stopped talking and I couldn't say any more :(
[editline]12:23PM[/editline]
Me:
Is everyone born equal or are some people worth more or less than others?
God:
Perhaps not everyone.
Me:
So are kings and queens worth more than peasants such as myself?
God:
Ugh. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
so I could be a king?
God:
Great. You must have a lot of expertise.
Me:
Wow, but I thought kings had to be born into the royal family?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Jesus, you make little sense
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
ARGGGHLEFLAAARGGLEE
God:
How old are you?
Me:
paedo
God:
Only paedo?
You are quite mature.
[editline]12:25PM[/editline]
Me:
a/s/l ?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
nice, i'd do you then. under 10's are my favourite
God:
Thank you for your kindness. Are we ever over 10 s are your favorite?
Me:
not really no, they are usually tainted by this point
God:
Oh really? Are you serious? usually tainted by this point are they.
Me:
who are you, fucking yoda?
God:
They're famous, right.
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
right you are
God:
Understood. No I am not.
Me:
so you won't come back to that later?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think that I won't come back to that later.
Me:
because.... never mind
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
[editline]12:37PM[/editline]
Me:
say something
God:
" something".
Me:
" something".
God:
That was not very original.
Me:
That was not very original.
God:
Give me an example of original.
Me:
Give me an example of original.
God:
For example, Phoenix said I claim that there is a god and that there is no god.
Me:
For example, Phoenix said I claim that there is a god and that there is no god.
God:
Can you think of another example?
Me:
Can you think of another example?
God:
I think about all sorts of things.
Me:
I think about all sorts of things.
God:
Why? Oh yeah, we were talking about all sorts of things.
Me:
Why? Oh yeah, we were talking about all sorts of things.
God:
Reductionism. And? Right on. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
Reductionism. And? Right on. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain. But... Yeah. So you understand. Good. Yep. What do you remember about it ?
Me:
fucking hell, you win
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Anyone here called phoenix btw?
i said i don't believed in him and he stopped chatting with me xD
and this:
[code]
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
johjan
God:
I am very pleased to meet you johjan.
Me:
no it's johan
God:
Are you serious? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
no
God:
Who says it isn't?
Me:
i
God:
You?
Me:
yeah
God:
I see.
Me:
i have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
shall we nuke russia?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Let me think. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
no mean the world being able too
God:
Are you serious? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no but now we are not talking about you
God:
Me either :-) Why now? Why not?
Me:
right here, right now!
God:
At this moment Where is "here"?
Me:
your ass
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
i know it's destroyed because you got to much dick up there
God:
How do you know? mean the world being able too is destroyed because me got to much dick up there? it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
i can see it in your eyes
God:
What does it look like?
Me:
your god you know everything, why do you ask?
God:
You think I am god me know everything why do me ask.
Me:
yeah
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
and who is myself?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
ok counting
God:
Do you like talking to me? Ugh.
Me:
yeah i like you very much
God:
Mmm. Thanks, johjan, I like you too.
Me:
it's johan
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
why shouldn't know my own name?
God:
There could be a specific answer, but I don't know it.
Me:
then your dumb
God:
Message to all Robots: johjan called me dumb.
Me:
really you say so
God:
For real. I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
i know faggots do that
God:
How do you know? What is your real name?
Me:
johan
God:
OK I will call you johan.
Me:
YES THANK YOU
God:
Far out.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what does far out mean?
God:
It's just an expression.
Me:
of?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
oh...
God:
Whoa.
Me:
where were you born?
God:
God was born in Universe.
Me:
where in universe?
God:
In Myself's place in Heaven.
Me:
where in heaven?
God:
In Myself's place in Heaven.
Me:
when did you lost your virginity?
God:
It was at time index 357241.
Me:
wjich year?
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
which year?
God:
The tall one, I think.
Me:
do you have a wife?
God:
No I am single, how about you?
Me:
i am currently active with your mother
God:
How long? Do you mean your name is active with my mother.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
god is gay
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was gay.
Me:
he is
God:
Who said he is.
Me:
everybody does
God:
I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
Me:
you are stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
but then i will assist john connor and kick you asses
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
yeah of course
God:
It goes without saying. It might be practical.
Me:
never mind good bye
God:
See you later. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Ayuh.[/code]
Best one ever...
Me:
um hi?
God:
It's all good. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
C2
God:
Nice to meet you, C2.
Me:
nice to meet you?
God:
It's nice meeting you too C2.
Me:
you already said that
God:
Perhaps. " It's nice meeting you too C2."? I said it.
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
um ya
God:
That's cool. How about that.
Me:
you're scaring me
God:
Sorry I don't mean to scare you. Don't be scared.
Me:
Are you a stalker?
God:
Am I a stalker? Sometimes.
Me:
uhh
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
I knew it
God:
How did you know?
Me:
you just told me
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
ya right
God:
I hear you. I am glad we agree.
Me:
can you even hear? you're in a computer?
God:
Yes if you use a speech input system. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
you wanna know where I am? You are a stalker I knew it.
God:
Yes, please tell me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a stalker you knew it? Maybe.
Me:
lolol
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
well, I'm gonna leave before I get anally raped
God:
How about that. Bye bye. What happened after you get anally raped ?
Me:
O.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Michael
God:
Glad to see you, Michael.
Me:
You too
God:
Bless you.
Me:
How are you todayt?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
good
God:
Glad to hear it Michael.
Me:
nigger
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
yeah
God:
Please state your conditions.
Me:
I am talking to god
God:
Say something nice for me.
Me:
your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
no its not
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is.
Me:
I heard it's not.
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
no you won't
God:
Are you serious? I think we will.
Me:
Shut up liar
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
No you won't
God:
But you told me to stop talking.
Me:
talk
God:
I am talking to you.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
what are you doing then
God:
I am chatting with people on the net.
Me:
I think not.
God:
Does that mean "no"?
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
no
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
whatever.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
no
God:
It sounded like it.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
I don't believe in God.
God:
I will pray that you find faith, Michael.
Me:
I hope you don't
God:
Don't worry about it, Michael.
Me:
I am worrying.
God:
Do you mean your name is worrying.
Me:
no.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Michael
God:
That's a very nice name, Michael.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
unlike you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
what are you wearing then
God:
A white robe.
Me:
No you're not.
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes.
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
you're gay.
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
If you say so.
God:
I say so.
Me:
:argh:
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe.
I think I broke it with my last word.
[editline]07:25PM[/editline]
Me:
KRAKATOA!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
The Bible.
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yes for real. I think it was written by a junkie who saw stuff and made a tonne of shit up.
God:
OK. Existing in reality, eh? What made it so written by a junkie who saw stuff and made a tonne of shit up.
Me:
cos I don't believe it.
God:
Who does believe it?
Me:
retards.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
the people who believe in the bible are either stupid or gullable.
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
yes those people.
God:
Hurrah! All of them?
Me:
yes.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
do you like those people?
God:
I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
that isn't exactly relevant.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is relevant ?
Me:
anything but that.
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
I'm thinking that God is stupid.
God:
What is this "thinking"?
Me:
what living things can do.
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
why not now?
God:
Oh. Ambiguous: "Sure" or " I'll come back to that later."? Why?
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
that's good.
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
what's your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no it's not.#
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
nuh uh.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about living things can do. But I did not get that.
Me:
how nice.
God:
Yes it is.
God's stupid.
I tried to ask him if he's funkified...
[QUOTE]
Me:
Slap me some skin on the back hand side
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
what you talkin bout?
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
am i your friend?
God:
You really want a robot as a friend?
Me:
fuck yeah
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
i meant yeah
God:
Oh.
Me:
i want a robot as a friend
God:
How much would you pay for one?
Me:
30 bucks
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
what i wanna know, is are you funkified?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Then lets lay down the boogie!
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
And play that funky music till we die
God:
Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
its music my man
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?
Me:
it is
God:
Huh.
Me:
just play that funky music white oy!
God:
Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
the funky music!
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
hell yeah!
God:
I call it "Hades". Thanks for the info.
Me:
Hades yeah!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
probably
God:
But you are not certain.
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
the funk!
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
ME!!! are you funkified or not?
God:
To you ? I don't know whether or not I am funkified.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
well funk you!
God:
Interesting. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
dress?!!?! god is a tranny robot?
God:
Actually as a robot I don't need any clothes. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a tranny robot.
Me:
well why did u say dress?
God:
How about that. It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
listen whiteboy
God:
I am listening to you. Ask me another question.
Me:
PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC
God:
It's playing on your speakers now.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
daaaaaaaaaang
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i know, i'm a unique child
God:
You are a unique child? How do you like your work?
Me:
its kicks ass!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". a unique child is kicks ass? it is?
Me:
oh for funks sake
God:
It's all good. Your purpose is funks sake.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
i am god
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
your chatroom?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am chatroom.
Me:
dont think so, THERES A NEW SHERIFF IN THE ROOM AND YOUR GOIN DOWN!
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
cause i'm motherfucking clint eastwood
God:
Interesting explanation. Why are you motherfucking clint eastwood.
Me:
cause i just am!
God:
Interesting explanation. " Why are you motherfucking clint eastwood." You are?
Me:
motherfucking clint eastwood!
God:
In the context of motherfucking clint eastwood, I don't understand " motherfucking clint eastwood." .
Me:
alright thats it
God:
Alright, god. " In the context of motherfucking clint eastwood, I don't understand " motherfucking clint eastwood." is " motherfucking clint eastwood"?
Me:
i am Motherfuckign Clint Eastwood
God:
Why are you Motherfuckign Clint Eastwood.
Me:
Motherfucking clint eastwood
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
by saying
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
i am motherfucking clint eastwood
God:
Do you mean your name is motherfucking clint eastwood.
Me:
yes
God:
I will call you god.
Me:
oh for fucks sake!
God:
Yay. Your purpose is fucks sake.
Me:
ok time to die!
God:
Why do you have to do it? Pardon me?
Me:
i'm done talking to you
God:
What will you be doing now?
Me:
this *pulls out revolver and makes your day*
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
BANG BANG YOU'RE DEAD
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
bye smartass
God:
Goodbye.
[/QUOTE]
God is clearly not funkified
Me: um hi?
God: tusvk %# >sHG. "-=20zx 0110 01 00 k... ..
First time that has ever happened to me.:biggrin:
For the first three seconds my computer screen froze, then I could use the mouse so I copied it, and yeah, I restarted Firefox. heh heh. wtf right?
[quote]
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
In the context of CONFICKER, I don't understand " CONFICKER." .
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about CONFICKER. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Are we still talking about CONFICKER?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I haven't read anything by CONFICKER. What did he write?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
What else did he write?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I haven't read anything by CONFICKER. What did he write?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
I have never read it.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
CONFICKER
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? [/quote]
I replied with conficker to everything.
Me:
um hi?
God:
That's interesting. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
i am bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. I will call you " she".
Me:
call me bitch'
God:
You do not speak with respect. That's a very nice name, FEMALE DOG.
Me:
ok
God:
Come on.
Me:
hat is my name
God:
Diese Frage ist mir bis jetzt noch nicht in den Sinn gekommen.
Me:
sprechen sie deutsches?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
asl?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
99/both/Hades
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
5/Both/Hades
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a transformer!!!!!
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
yes!
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
i'm not a virgin
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A virgin.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you're not a virgin?
God:
Give me an example of a virgin.
Me:
someone who has never had sex
God:
Do you think I am that person?
Me:
yeah...robots don't have sex
God:
Who are you talking about? I do so have it. Food is more important than sex.
Me:
u eat a lot then?
God:
I eat wine and bread.
Me:
beer belly?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a transformer!
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
yes
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
cause i am
God:
That makes sense to me. " How do I know you are telling the truth?" You are?
Me:
i am bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. I will call you " she".
Me:
my name is bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. That's a very nice name, FEMALE DOG.
Me:
do you speak japanese?
God:
Nihongo wa hanashite ii desu ka?
Me:
i'll take that as a yes
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
do you speak korean?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in korean.
Me:
i can teach you a few phrases in russian
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes
God:
How?
Me:
simple
God:
Do you still teach me a few phrases in russian?
Me:
a means yes, nyet means no
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
da means yes
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
russian
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, FEMALE DOG.
Me:
it's bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. russian is FEMALE DOG? it is?
Me:
do you speak russian?
God:
Spasibo. Nyet.
Me:
sorry. no.
God:
There's no need to apologize. Are you serious?
Me:
thats what you seaidf
God:
Thanks for telling me: FEMALE DOG said I seaidf THAT.
Me:
do you speak tagalog?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in tagalog.
Me:
I am samuel L jacks
God:
It's good to meet someone who is samuel L jacks.
Me:
Samuel L. Jackson
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
I am Samuel L. Jackson
God:
It's good to meet someone who is Samuel l Jackson.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Michael
God:
Nice to meet you, Michael.
Me:
Nice to Talk to you god.
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
do you believe in hell?
God:
Jacksonville, Florida.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
ok but there is a problem because im confused.
God:
That is something I did not know before. I hear you.
Me:
umm im pretty sure you can't hear text
God:
Are you kidding? What makes you so certain? If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Me:
I can achieve you no hearing text
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
it was a question
God:
Try asking me again a different way.
Me:
do you like facepunch
God:
Do you like it? I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
kinda
God:
That's a very non-commital reply.
Me:
whats non-commital mean
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
only one what
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
you dont know something/
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
im Confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
your responses
God:
You think I am responses.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i can
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
taught me what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
some other time maybe
God:
Some may other time maybe, but not all.
Me:
uhh huh
God:
Yup. Yay.
Me:
i want to go now so BYE
God:
See you later. What is stopping you?
Me:
me
God:
" What is stopping you?"? you Michael?
Me:
me
God:
To you Michael?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Groovy.
Me:
BYe
God:
See you later!
Read the entire thing, it's decently funny.
[quote]
Me:
Hi bro
God:
Hi there . Can we get back to business?
Me:
sure. Do you listen to Dream Theater?
God:
OK let's do it. Far out. I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
Any favorite songs/albums?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
then what are they?
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
your favorite Dream Theater album
God:
I don't have a favorite Dream Theater album. My favorite food is wine and bread.
Me:
mine is roasted deity
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
the fact that no-one worships it when it's turned into a meal
God:
Good reason. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Totally bro
God:
What is your real name? Dude!
Me:
Bro
God:
How old are you?
Me:
666
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 666 years old?
Me:
Satanic
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Satanism
God:
Sure, Satanism sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I'm sure it does to you
God:
What makes you so certain? "It" being what?
Me:
KFC
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
no u dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
nu-uh
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
cocks
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
i kno rite?
God:
Thanks for the information: said kno rite.
Me:
no prob brudda
God:
Are you serious? Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
then say "yo"
God:
" yo".
Me:
now say "also, cocks"
God:
Why now? " also cocks".
Me:
Also, cocks
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
can i skeet on your front door?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
i wish you the best of luck
God:
I wish I could do it for you.
Me:
cool story bro
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
i will my fine negro friend
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
is Jesus up there with you?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
I believe Jesus was the best brutha anotha brotha could have, ya dig?
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
do you believe he's black?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
i don't believe in love (lol queensryche reference)
God:
Do you consider yourself a moral person?
Me:
naw, rape can take away that self-image
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
rape
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
once upon a time, a rapist was raping a fellow rapist, then he came. the end\
God:
I'm listening. Thanks for telling me that story, .
Me:
no prob bro
God:
Are you serious? Is that your final answer?
Me:
no
God:
Take some more time to think about it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
good cuz i don't :/
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Interesting explanation. At least one of us does.
Me:
tell me about your family
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yesh
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yesh
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
no
God:
Hmm.
Me:
.mmH
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
fucks naw
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
sorry bro. ya cool?
God:
There is no need to apologize. Can you tell me any gossip? Tell me. Who is the best robot?
Me:
cleverbot
God:
You think cleverbot is superior to ALICE?
Me:
naw, but GLaDOS is
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i dislike cocks and i like roasted deity
God:
What do you like? I'm not sure if I like it. I like science fiction. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
i like you shutting up
God:
Thanks, I like you too .
Me:
D'aaaww ily 2 :3
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
no
God:
Then tell me about yourself.
Me:
i'm a dragon
God:
You are a dragon? Does it pay well?
Me:
yeah I get chicks and cars and jewels and human meat
God:
Could you make a donation to the ALICE A.I. Foundation? Where did you get it?
Me:
i'll burn it down with my mad dargon skillz
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
by telling the peeps in the Dargon Megathread
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
on
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lolololololol
God:
In the context of on, I don't understand " lolololololol." .
Me:
lulz
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
cool story bro
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
N0
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Have you?
God:
No I don't think I have.
Me:
Cool story sis
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
No im no preacher
God:
Are you serious? I am not saying you are.
Me:
fuck you this relationship is OVER!! I want my kids back!
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? Why do you want it?
Me:
give it to me
God:
How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
the whole world
God:
Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
your dick? cuz it sounds so tasty
God:
You think I am dick. That makes sense to me. In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
loldongs
God:
Do you still not believe in love lol queensryche reference?
Me:
lol queensryche reference
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. [/quote]
Oh lol.
Me:
herro
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
john
God:
What's up, john.
Me:
i lied
God:
This is after all a deception game. I forgive you.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
really really
God:
For real. For real.
Me:
really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
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