• Your most heartbreaking moment.
    126 replies, posted
Visiting my grandma the day before she passed away, after a 3 year battle with breast cancer. At that point she was extremely weak and in constant pain, despite being loaded up with morphine. She was pretty much out of it for most of the day, but was still able to recognize most of us in the room. She would chat with us occasionally when she was feeling up to it. My family had her set up with a hospital bed at home through Hospice. I remember leaning over and giving her a hug and kissing her right cheek before leaving the room to go outside; and telling her how much I loved her. It was great to see her smile, and she also said "Oh you know I love you too, so very much!" After that I went out on my grandparents' back porch and must have cried for a good 25 minutes before we left to go home. My dad and uncles stayed over at my grandparents' house that night, and the following morning we received the news that she was gone. That was nearly 9 years ago and it was the first immediate family member I've lost. It was hard because my grandparents on both sides of the family have always been involved a lot since I was born. So it was like losing a parent. Needless to say, the following weeks were extremely tough to get through. At the same time though I was glad that she no longer had to suffer through constant pain.
My long distance boyfriend left today after we spent 3 weeks together...ouch.. :(
When my parakeet died. I had a dream the night before that he had, and woke up a blubbering mess. Later that day I was playing the piano and noticed he wasn't singing along like he always did. His favorite song was Bach's Invention #8. I'd actually like to thank our very own Loco, Makol, and Pascall, they helped me that night by playing some good old Left 4 Dead with me.
Hmmm...where to start... When I lived in Germany, I got a day off from homeschool. I didn't question it at the time. Later that day, I found out why. Our Malamute, which we had taken to the vet to get a tumor removed earlier that week, had suffered a heart attack and died when they gave him the anasthesia. Apparently, the vets all loved him and the one that called was crying. Next, after I got back to the states, we discovered our cat had kidney failure. My sis and I didn't want him to die, so we selfishly chose to try to save him by force-feeding him instead of letting him go peacefully. We finally decided that the right thing to do was put him down. Apparently, he was purring in the end. Some time after that, my grandfather came to stay with us for a while. A year or two passed before he died in my basement. And I thought losing the pets was hard. Finally, my grandmother stayed with us for a while and she too suffered a heart attack, although she survived. What scared me about this is that I didn't feel like crying. But man, you should have seen the Chaplain's face. Same house, same family, another old person having a heart attack. That was suspicion if I've ever seen it. Now, I spend my days worrying about my bird. Of the original 3 pers we had, he's the only one left. Even though he is an evil creature that wants nothing more to kill us and burn our bodies while fucking his perch, I still don't want him to die. He's pretty much the only tie to my childhood that I have left. I'll be damned, I'll miss the little shithead.
Hearing from my dad that my brother admitted to killing a guy and hiding the body. I don't know if he actually did, but its gonna be a long fucking year waiting to find out when they have the trial. Also when my dog died. I tried saving him, i did everything i could, but nothing worked. He died in my arms, June 23rd of this year. There's seeing videos of people dying, hearing about it from other people, but nothing hit me as hard as my dog dying. I was literally beating the shit out of myself trying to figure out why he died. All i know now is that he died from a seizure, which progressed into a coma, i think, and died in my arms while i waited for him to wake back up and be happy that i was there. He had seizures prior to this for over a year. My parents withheld from me that the vet said he could die at any time. And holy shit was i mad when they told me, they told me about an hour after he died. I'll never forget the look on his face when he passed. He held his eyes closed until the last 2-3 minutes before he stopped breathing, looking into his eyes and seeing no emotion or anything is a very distressing thing. I cried myself to sleep for 3 days, and i still wake up sometimes, looking for him.
I had a really good friend who I grew up with and played hockey with. He was playing a game at our local rink and with 3 seconds left, he took a slap shot to the chest right below the chest padding and collapsed. He went into cardiac arrest but the paramedics couldn't revive him. I miss you Nate.
My dog was put down wednesday evening, 11 Year old German Shephard who I absolutely loved to pieces. She wasn't even a pet, she was a member of the family, one of the friendliest dogs you could have ever met and also one of the most stupid. Got the call from my sister telling me they'd finally put her down due to health reasons. Instantly broke down crying while the girlfriend tried to comfort me. Worst thing is I never even got to say goodbye or go with her to have her put to sleep. Still sad :(
my dominos came 20 minutes late yesterday i couldnt cope i cant cope
Around 18 years ago, my mom lived in Japan because my dad was in the navy and he was stationed there. Most of the time, my dad wasn't home to keep my mom company. So, she went to the pet store and got a Japanese ragdoll cat. She named her "Hootie." (I still don't know why my mom decided to name him that.) And my mom and Hootie spent the rest of the time together in Japan before my dad was able to go back to the United States. About a year later, I was born. My mom and dad were living in a apartment complex, and Hootie meowed very loudly every night. In fact, when I was very little, I remember when Hootie used to meow all throughout the apartment. And the sound of that meow used to comfort me. Eventually, we moved out of the apartment and into a house. Also, around this time my brother was born. And I remember this being the happiest time of my childhood. Whenever I would come home from school, hootie would be sitting on the couch waiting for me to pet or feed him. (My parents were at work.) And whenever I would watch tv, he would lay right beside me. This was the usual routine for about 1-2 years. Come home. Hootie would be waiting for me. Pet him. Feed him. Watch tv. Him laying right beside me. Always at my side. My parents work hours eventually changed, and they were able to be home when I came home from school. Years went by, Hootie was still very close to me. When I was bullied one day (elementary school I think) I remember coming home crying, and my parents weren't home (grocery store). I ran up to my room, and laid on my bed and sobbed into my pillow. Hootie came up to me and licked my face. This cheered me up, and I remember afterwards us watching tv with him by my side. Well, Hootie got older, and things changed. He actually lived until he was 18, which is a pretty long time for a cat. He was very bony, and my parents and I started to worry for him. He was moving slower and slower each passing month. I still remember the exact date he died: December 4th, 2011. Two days before, Hootie was constantly struggling to get up and just laid down most of the time. So my mom carried him to his bed upstairs, and that's were he stayed for the remainder of his life. I remember me being the last person that hootie ever saw before he died. I went up there, and I knew he was going out. I checked on him to see if he was doing ok, and went downstairs. My mom went upstairs shortly after that, and I heard her crying. I ran up the stairs, and I knew Hootie had died. Seeing Hootie dead in his bed completely heartbroken me. I was bawling like a fucking baby, he was older than me, I pretty much spent 17 years with him, ever since I was born. I thought about all the times he comforted me, and laid by my side. I remember all of the times we used to play when I was a child. It destroyed me knowing that he was gone. We buried him in our backyard, and right where we buried him, we placed a cat statue as sort of a headstone. It's actually still there. Everytime I look at it, I remember all the happy memories we spent together. Everytime I go to sit somewhere, or go to sleep at night, even though he's gone, I always know Hootie will be there. Always by my side.
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When I had to withdraw from all of my classes during my first semester of college because of a colon problem and I stunk like shit
My cat died. She never got old enough to go outside.
a girl I knew from childhood died from ODing on pills in December 2012. her parents said that she couldn't cope with the uni exams. I was having exam problems too, but that really made me think about life.
[video=youtube;le34ygtODfI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le34ygtODfI[/video] My mother got me into Gotye a few months ago, and I haven't looked back since. This song, when I first heard it, didn't affect me. At all. Then, I found the meaning. Wally De Becker (the guy) had a dog and this song was about him. I heard it before bed a few days later and.... cried like a little bitch. I grabbed my blanket after brushing my teeth, headed downstairs, and slept on the floor with my arm around my Irish Wolfhound. I've always had animals in my life.
My grandfather has cancer all over his body. He probably doesn't have much time left, and he's staying in a room just down the hall from mine. He's clearly in agony. He has trouble breathing, and you can hear him moan in pain from time to time. Tonight, his lungs sounded like a coffee maker. I'm not kidding, that's the closest comparison I can make. Lately, he's been acting strange, probably due to the medications he's on. He's constantly murmuring, "Help." To nobody. When I'm in the room with him, every five to ten minutes he asks me if I'm still there. It's no fun watching somebody you know slowly deteriorate like this. My parents appear to be anticipating him dying sometime tonight. I honestly can't really stand being near him too much anymore. I'm sorry, but it's just awful on so many levels. Ehh, I'm sort of regretting posting this because I don't really like complaining about life online.
The love of my life ended our long term relationship today. He had been thinking about it for a few months. Every time I said "I love you", he said it back perfectly, like nothing was wrong. Every kiss, every cuddle, it was a lie. I can't pick a moment when his feelings changed, but they have and now I am alone. I lost all of my friends when we started dating, so now I don't even really have anyone to talk to. I thought it was a forever kind of love, but clearly that was stupid. I thought things were fine, but they weren't because he was just pretending. He fell out of love with me even when I loved him more than ever.
When I was in Afghanistan doing my job as a helicopter maintainer, one of our duties was to help the pilots prepare the aircraft for flight, launch the aircraft, and bring in and help the pilots offload the aircraft. I would always ask what happened during their flights, if I didn't already know by listening on the encrypted radio set. Our job is to provide maximum protection and freedom to maneuver for infantry guys on the ground with our helicopters. Every time an IED went off and took some of the infantrymen under our protection away, it would hit me hard. One of the worst instances of this was a suicide bombing that took away three US Soldiers and a few civilians with it, not too far away from the base I was at, in the city. I was working out on the flight line, doing a little bit of maintenance to prepare the birds for flight later that day. The Medevac guys were located literally right next to us. I heard their radios start squawking crazily, and they instantly went into full action mode and lifted off 5 minutes later (highly impressive for blackhawks). I heard reports of an explosion happening in the city. The medevac birds came back in about 20 minutes. They wheeled off in gurneys bloodied remains of what were once men, some of them in pieces enough that they had to use large trash bags to transport them. All of the bodies and wounded were hurried to the medical center off the flight line. Around an hour later, they announced over the FOB PA system that there would be a ramp ceremony for our fallen comrades at a certain time. That was one of the saddest moments of my life, as well as a huge reality check that I could actually die over there. This was not the first instance of this happening either, there is another instance that is equally bad for me. I remember every death of a Soldier that happened under our helicopters' protection. It bothers me to this day, thinking that there may have been something I could have done to save them, if only if I loaded the pilot's gear a bit faster or something. I have occasional emotional breakdowns due to the massive guilt I feel about these guys getting blown up under our birds' protection, and I am sitting there twiddling my thumbs, waiting for maintenance to do. I hate it. I am just so guilty, I have contemplated ending the guilt about 3 times, but those have been dealt with. The guilt is crushing, and I feel like I had a hand in their deaths. Those are the most heartbreaking moments of my life. Family deaths were all amicable, thank goodness, so those are much easier to bear.
[QUOTE=IceTea;41406115]When my computer stopped detecting my hard drives. I can't try out my new graphics card till I can fix it and have no idea why this is happening or how to fix it... [editline]10th July 2013[/editline] You can post your suggestions here... [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1288136[/url] [editline]10th July 2013[/editline] :suicide:[/QUOTE] I find your post funny and strange at the same time. Because most of everyones post here thus far have talked about their experiences with loved ones dying. And while they're talking about that,[B]you're[/B] crying over a fucking computer. Show some respect!
Holy fuck, I've had nothing even remotely as bad as any of you guys happen to me. The worst things I can think of were the suicide of one of my friends and putting down 2 of my dogs. I feel so bad for you lot. Really, you're all great.
[QUOTE=Katska;41423240]My grandfather has cancer all over his body. He probably doesn't have much time left, and he's staying in a room just down the hall from mine. He's clearly in agony. He has trouble breathing, and you can hear him moan in pain from time to time. Tonight, his lungs sounded like a coffee maker. I'm not kidding, that's the closest comparison I can make. Lately, he's been acting strange, probably due to the medications he's on. He's constantly murmuring, "Help." To nobody. When I'm in the room with him, every five to ten minutes he asks me if I'm still there. It's no fun watching somebody you know slowly deteriorate like this. My parents appear to be anticipating him dying sometime tonight. I honestly can't really stand being near him too much anymore. I'm sorry, but it's just awful on so many levels. Ehh, I'm sort of regretting posting this because I don't really like complaining about life online.[/QUOTE] I just watched him pass away minutes ago. Sorry for posting again.
You didn't have to tell, really. Because it must be hard for you. I'm sorry to hear it, friend.
[QUOTE=Lolikitten;41418602]My long distance boyfriend left today after we spent 3 weeks together...ouch.. :([/QUOTE] I feel your pain [editline]12th July 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Mizzy;41423339]The love of my life ended our long term relationship today. He had been thinking about it for a few months. Every time I said "I love you", he said it back perfectly, like nothing was wrong. Every kiss, every cuddle, it was a lie. I can't pick a moment when his feelings changed, but they have and now I am alone. I lost all of my friends when we started dating, so now I don't even really have anyone to talk to. I thought it was a forever kind of love, but clearly that was stupid. I thought things were fine, but they weren't because he was just pretending. He fell out of love with me even when I loved him more than ever.[/QUOTE] Fucking ouch. [editline]12th July 2013[/editline] I wish I knew what to say to that to make you feel better really
My uncle died right after he was found having cancer The night before he died, we went to visit him. We brought apple to him, and the doctor said that he's doing good. He was looking good, too. He even told us to keep the apples And then he died, the day after. I didn't go to his funeral, I didn't want to, I could not stand the atmosphere.
[QUOTE=Katska;41423770]I just watched him pass away minutes ago. Sorry for posting again.[/QUOTE] It's okay man, this thread is dedicated to spilling your emotions to the Internet. I wish I could find the words to comfort you, thought that counts right?
I hope you guys don't mind if it's long. This 'moment' has been going on for years. My mother died when I was 7, so naturally that was pretty devastating. She battled cancer for many years, and I wasn't old enough to understand that she was losing. She'd get worse and worse until eventually she wasn't even herself. I acted like a little shithead back then, I didn't know what was going on. I still hate myself for the way I acted to her in those final few months. But she loved me regardless of how shitty I was, and that's what I remember her for. On the night she died, she wrote a letter to me and my siblings as a goodbye. In it, she tells me that I need to trust my grandma to take care of me from now on. That I needed to let it be. The final words of that letter were the last I ever heard from her. "Whatever happens, just be happy, I love you... Signed; Mom" And that was it. That was the last I'd ever hear from her, ever. Those words scrawled out on that sheet of paper in weak and noticeably deteriorating handwriting. It tears me up inside to know that my mother's final wishes to me were lost somewhere in all the moving we did. I'm a terrible person for not keeping that with me. It fucking kills me, every time I think about her my memory gets slightly more skewed. I've still got a bunch of photos from my childhood with her in them, but I keep them in a box because I can't look at them. It's been fucking 10 years and I still can't cope with the loss. My father, who didn't care about what was happening, decided to show up one day and lay claim to all of her possessions, which she'd left to me and my siblings. I could have fucking killed him, and I'm surprised I didn't. That bastard runs off on me and marries some whore, and expects me to just give up her legacy to him because he needs something to pawn? I haven't talked to my dad ever since then. And I'm not sure if he's dead or not, although I'd love it if he were. Depression has turned me into an introverted mess. I can hardly trust anybody and I can't talk socially without being strange as hell. Since then, my siblings and I were adopted by my grandmother, who I call my mother now. It's nice to have been put with family instead of strangers. It's even better that we got to stay together, just as my mother wished. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and cry for a while. Thanks for reading I guess.
[QUOTE=DEMONSKUL;41423845] Fucking ouch. [editline]12th July 2013[/editline] I wish I knew what to say to that to make you feel better really[/QUOTE] I already feel better after just having a chance to sleep on it. I wrote down a list of reasons why I should try to not be sad, and the list was long. In the end, I don't think he deserved my love and affection. And he didn't show me nearly as much as I deserved. The main feeling settling in right now is... indifference. Yeah, I'll be lonely, but at least I have a chance to have some fun. (Big tough words, I'm probably going to go cry again now).
[QUOTE=OficerHonkHonk;41427367]I hope you guys don't mind if it's long. This 'moment' has been going on for years. My mother died when I was 7, so naturally that was pretty devastating. She battled cancer for many years, and I wasn't old enough to understand that she was losing. She'd get worse and worse until eventually she wasn't even herself. I acted like a little shithead back then, I didn't know what was going on. I still hate myself for the way I acted to her in those final few months. But she loved me regardless of how shitty I was, and that's what I remember her for. On the night she died, she wrote a letter to me and my siblings as a goodbye. In it, she tells me that I need to trust my grandma to take care of me from now on. That I needed to let it be. The final words of that letter were the last I ever heard from her. "Whatever happens, just be happy, I love you... Signed; Mom" And that was it. That was the last I'd ever hear from her, ever. Those words scrawled out on that sheet of paper in weak and noticeably deteriorating handwriting. It tears me up inside to know that my mother's final wishes to me were lost somewhere in all the moving we did. I'm a terrible person for not keeping that with me. It fucking kills me, every time I think about her my memory gets slightly more skewed. I've still got a bunch of photos from my childhood with her in them, but I keep them in a box because I can't look at them. It's been fucking 10 years and I still can't cope with the loss. My father, who didn't care about what was happening, decided to show up one day and lay claim to all of her possessions, which she'd left to me and my siblings. I could have fucking killed him, and I'm surprised I didn't. That bastard runs off on me and marries some whore, and expects me to just give up her legacy to him because he needs something to pawn? I haven't talked to my dad ever since then. And I'm not sure if he's dead or not, although I'd love it if he were. Depression has turned me into an introverted mess. I can hardly trust anybody and I can't talk socially without being strange as hell. Since then, my siblings and I were adopted by my grandmother, who I call my mother now. It's nice to have been put with family instead of strangers. It's even better that we got to stay together, just as my mother wished. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and cry for a while. Thanks for reading I guess.[/QUOTE] That's really horrible, once again I can't find the right words to try and make things better. Also, couldn't you sue your dad for essentially stealing your things? She did bequeath them to you after all. Oh well, I hope you find closure soon. Edit Also sorry for rating you tool, iPad is really difficult to work with sometimes. I meant to hit heart. [editline]12th July 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Mizzy;41428032]I already feel better after just having a chance to sleep on it. I wrote down a list of reasons why I should try to not be sad, and the list was long. In the end, I don't think he deserved my love and affection. And he didn't show me nearly as much as I deserved. The main feeling settling in right now is... indifference. Yeah, I'll be lonely, but at least I have a chance to have some fun. (Big tough words, I'm probably going to go cry again now).[/QUOTE] It'll take some time, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. You'll find someone, I know it.
Seeing the last facial expression of a little bird, which I could have helped, being run over by a car. and Accidentally killing a little bird, which I WANTED to help, by giving it too much water, seeing it twitching in a last struggle. I don't have any pity or compassion for humans.
When I moved from Washington my cat ran off. We had had her for 2-3 years and I was absolutely devastated. It felt like a punch in the gut and moving across the country made me feel so helpless as I couldn't look for her or put up posters or try to find her at all. In the end we never found her and I was able to move on. I've always had a strong attachment to my pets but that combined with the experience of moving and changing completely really depressed me last year.
When I found out my dog got hit by a car.
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