• I'm terrified of old people now.
    96 replies, posted
When you're that close to death i guess you just gotta tell people how you really feel.
One of our teachers in the 5th grade got a bit angry when these two guys left didn't want be a pair in our p.e. lesson. He said roughly translated "Now, you Shit-Tony and John-shit-guineapig, you work together or else!"
[QUOTE=ZzsnareslamzZ;30725957]thats some funny shit [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Shit bump." - Seiteki))[/highlight][/QUOTE] This guy doesn't post for a month, and his first posts gets him banned... Why was he looking through stuff from 7 months ago. IT MAKES NO SENSE! But on the story: I would have tried not to laugh while the old guy was talking.
He was aarping
[QUOTE=hl2poo;26440586]He probably slapped shit back in 'Nam.[/QUOTE] his momma died man, his momma died
[QUOTE=Crackatowa;26441031]Who's Mr. Rogers?[/QUOTE] The Champion of the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny!
OKAY WHAT THE HELL
[QUOTE=Mister Cool;30733612]Don't disrespect your elders bitch.[/QUOTE] I guess you're just joking but this still stands to the whole "respect your elders" thing. The thing about old people is that every single one of them was once younger, and could in fact be a complete asshole. Just because they get old it doesn't mean they suddenly deserve respect. I treat old people just like I would someone of any age, by their actions.
also, why would that make you [i]terrified[/i] of old people. it's not like he slapped you in the face with his cock or something
Old People say the darndest things. [img]http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/11/07/ecrqqagw_2.jpg[/img]
This old woman in an old folks home I go to: I was there on a Sunday and she was going to Mass with the rest of the old buggers, she had nice phrases like: "I don't want to fuckin' go there!" "I have to piss!" "I need to pee!" "God damnit!"
[QUOTE=HazmatSquad;30736177]An 80-year-old man told my mother that Mashed Potatoes would make her fat at Hometown Buffet. :c00lbert:[/QUOTE] No wonder I became skinny when KFC changed how they make mashed potatos
[QUOTE=tehfrog;30753208]also, why would that make you [I]terrified[/I] of old people. it's not like he slapped you in the face with his cock or something[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Bot02;26440534]He also said to him [U][B]"I'd slap you but poop would splatter everywhere."[/B][/U] the kid was speechless and in shock.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=sonicrjk;26443313]You're going to be one one day.[/QUOTE] Hopefully. My god this thread is 6 months old.
Being old would be awesome. I could kick a lady's bathroom door open while she's still in there and it'd be okay because I'm old and they will think it's cute.
[QUOTE=code;30755557]He also said to him "I'd slap you but poop would splatter everywhere." the kid was speechless and in shock.[/QUOTE] that's the old guy comparing the kid to a piece of shit.
[QUOTE=tehfrog;30756476]that's the old guy comparing the kid to a piece of shit.[/QUOTE] that's not so cool.
Everytime I go into a toilet cubicle after an old person its just full of shit. Guess they didnt have flushing toilets in the good ol' days.
Maybe he was serious. Some kids these days really are pieces of shit.
[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yUSJoGFyyZI/TZNpIG74p8I/AAAAAAAABJw/8Mit2KqovNk/s1600/old-people-crossing.jpg[/img] This sign always fills me with dread. You're driving along, minding your own busine- GRANNY IN THE ROAD!!! AGHHHH!
[img]http://images.wikia.com/familyguy/images/d/d1/Herbert.JPG[/img]
nah thats not a biggie. My grandfather harrassed the doctors, who tried to cure his cancer. He would touch their asses, whistle at them and even pretend to have an erection by sticking his finger under the blanket. Okay I made that up, but still. No biggie.
when i was a cashier at a grocery store an old man told me that the restrooms were broken and closed so he crapped his pants and he told me that he needed to use one hand to hold up his pants or else the crap would fall out. he completed the transaction why holding crap in his pants with one hand
[QUOTE=Stizzles;26443778]This reminds me of one of our old teachers who said to some other student "calm down or I'll kick you in the head" I remember he swore a lot, said "fuck you" and shit to us. :v: he was awesome.[/QUOTE] We had a math teacher who spoke in a thick british accent and had the most atrocious beard I have ever seen. He'd hand out punishments like "[I]go stand by the fucking window with your arms in the air and don't call me until you count three fucking planes in the sky[/I]". Once, he was rambling on the topic of masturbation and then he said "[I]I heard that shit makes your hand fucking hairy[/I]". Half the class proceeded to stare at their hands and then he started laughing like a maniac. Probably the most entertaining old man I know of.
[QUOTE=The Epidemic;30769007] He'd hand out punishments like "[I]go stand by the fucking window with your arms in the air and don't call me until you count three fucking planes in the sky[/I]"[/QUOTE] :lol:
I knew an old person once. Long time ago. Later they died.
One of the funniest things I ever heard...I visit someone at a nursing home every Friday, and I passed an old couple. The woman said, "You still suck at playing the Nervous game" and he said, "You little whore."
[QUOTE=cheetahben;30773708]One of the funniest things I ever heard...I visit someone at a nursing home every Friday, and I passed an old couple. The woman said, "You still suck at playing the Nervous game" and he said, "You little whore."[/QUOTE] Wow, Meanest Grandma ever.
[QUOTE=Bot02;26440534]It was just a regular day in geography class when and old guy in his 80's walked in. I didn't really think much about it other then he looks like a creepy version of Mr. Rogers, so I just continued working on my middle America map. But right when he was about to leave he turned around and said to the kid sitting in a desk right next to the door "The only difference between you and a bucket of poop is the bucket." ...What the hell?! Where did that come from? Hes 80 years old and thats like 1st grade material. He also said to him "I'd slap you but poop would splatter everywhere." the kid was speechless and in shock. So was I. Then Mr. Rogers just turned around and left without saying anything else. I'm now terrified of old people[/QUOTE] Dude a guy came in and preached to us in class once. He stopped the teacher, carried on with the lesson plan (he had only gotten 2 seconds of it) and gave is this mindblowingly awesome lecture about nelson mandela. He walked out, we all did our work peacefully and got 100%'s. Later the principal came in and we all found out that nobody new that guy. He just walked the fuck into a class and gave a bad ass lecture, and walked the fuck out. He just felt like inspiring some highschoolers that day.
Once my grandpa was in the hospital, he started flirting with the nurses. Later he got high off of morphine and walked out of the door hallucinating at 3 AM.
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