• Post Useless Superpowers.
    437 replies, posted
The ability to talk to water.
[QUOTE=Frosty701;40518279]The ability to talk to water.[/QUOTE] Water hates you.
The ability to have x-ray vision, but only when you are staring at an x-ray machine
The ability to make the sound of one hand clapping
The ability to change your mind with a bison.
The ability to warm anything you touch but doing so gives you 3rd degree burns
The ability to flip one of the chips inside any given can of pringles upside down.
You have a chance to walk through a wall whenever you collide with it, the faster you go, the higher this chance. This power only affects you, and not your clothing, and only works if you have a boner.
The ability to instantly put clothes away, but only when naked.
The ability to turn Pine into Maple.
The ability to squeak every time you move.
The ability to make your genitals taste like Pepsi cola.
The ability to blink faster than any other being in the universe.
[QUOTE=Gypsy Hitler;40531042]The ability to blink faster than any other being in the universe.[/QUOTE] You'll be blinking so fast you'll be creating wind currents and shit Just start blinking and SWOOOSHHHHH You could stick little fan thingies on your eyelids for maximum power
The ability to summon Japanese businessmen, but they still have to fly over by plane and get to you by a taxi, maybe rent a car.
[QUOTE=Moustacheman;40531731]The ability to summon Japanese businessmen, but they still have to fly over by plane and get to you by a taxi, maybe rent a car.[/QUOTE] And you still have to pay for their services...
The ability to be as loud as physically possible at all times.
The ability to give others useless abilities. "Here, Doug, have the ability to turn diamonds into shit!"
The ability to know top-secret information, but only while sarcastically laughing. "Hehehe I bet Area 51 Is really just a really exclusive picnic area" "Hahahahaha no they actually use it to conduct weather control experiments in order to commit genocide with artificial hurricanes pfthahahahaha" "Yeah I bet hahahahaha"
The ability to have vegan superpowers like the one from Scott Pilgrim. The drawback is that you're vegan.
Being extremely attractive to women with boyfriends, who'd never leave them.
That ability to sneeze backwards (inhale rapidly rather than exhale).
[QUOTE=TextQUAKE;40488334]The ability to take an infinitely large shit But you can't pinch it[/QUOTE] that actually kinda already exists. [editline]5th May 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=biodude94566;40533605]That ability to sneeze backwards (inhale rapidly rather than exhale).[/QUOTE] this does too. how do you think people do cocaine?
[QUOTE=NeoSeeker;40533633]How do you think people do cocaine?[/QUOTE] No idea... <.< >.>
The ability to teleport, but you can only teleport into the middle of gunfire.
[QUOTE=NeoSeeker;40533633] this does too. how do you think people do cocaine?[/QUOTE] Isn't that more of a backwards cough rather than a sneeze, though?
The ability to re-experince the worst moments of your life.
The ability to shoot lasers out of your eyes, but you get the same adverse effects as if a laser were shining in your eye when you use it.
To cloak.
You can teleport to your immediate location
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