• Post Useless Superpowers.
    437 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Chonch;40393679]The ability to see through cardboard.[/QUOTE] Snake's worst enemy
The ability to instantly and permanently forget a ten-year time period of your life. You are not given a photographic memory to compensate.
The ability to walk while in T-Pose
The ability to fly to a height of 17.5 inches.
The ability to choose a superpower from this list and obtain it. Even this one. Though it would be recursive.
The ability to believe it's not butter
The power to track down and kill people who use "But only" in their descriptions of useless superpowers Invincibility while surrendering to the enemy (you can't fake it)
The ability to speak Finnish everywhere but Finland.
Ability to see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.
I have a mutant ability that makes my blood clot really fast. Unfortunately, it likes to do it inside my veins :v:
the ability to fart out of your eyelids
The ability to projectile vomit with the force of a shotgun. I keep thinking of things animals already do
being completely immortal and unkillable, but your weakness is old age and everything that will kill a human [editline]23rd April 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Satansick;40393571]That's a pretty awesome power.[/QUOTE] really its just an interval function
[QUOTE=Sableye;40394179]being completely immortal and unkillable, but your weakness is old age and everything that will kill a human [editline]23rd April 2013[/editline] really its just an interval function[/QUOTE] but i'm really a cat
The ability to make people like your facebook status.
[QUOTE=NateDude;40390856]The ability to be irresistebly attractive to women while they're not looking at me. The power to read the minds of plants. The skill to remember the last anagram I read forever. The ability to shit out pennies.[/QUOTE] You'd get so much blind poontang or your sighted girlfriend would not be able to get enough doggy style from you. Also, you'd be a very popular radio star, podcaster, or lper.
The ability to teleport, but only when masturbating.
These arn't really useless, rather then inconvenient.
[QUOTE=Dukov Traboski;40394696]These arn't really useless, rather then inconvenient.[/QUOTE] If a power is extremly niche and will never effect your life a great deal then I would classify it as useless but, technically, they aren't "useless". If we're going into specifics it's not quite possible for a superpower to be useless if it does anything, because surely you'd be able to find SOME use for it regardless. So let's just classify extremely pointless or unoticable powers useless. On that note, the ability to teleport exactly one inch to my left. But my clothes don't teleport with me.
The power to use dust particles as deadly weapons
The ability to enjoy Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler movies.
[QUOTE=WarRocker32;40394671]The ability to teleport, but only when masturbating.[/QUOTE] You did it wro
The ability to play guitar at the cost of only ever knowing the main riffs of two songs; 'Smoke on the Water' and 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'.
The ability to turn invisible, but only when you're screaming and shouting.
[QUOTE=TheCreepyPryo;40394831]The power to use dust particles as deadly weapons[/QUOTE] That's kind of amazing what are you talking about, pro assassin skill right there. [editline]23rd April 2013[/editline] you guys are so bad at this a real useless power would be something like the "ability to eat jello slightly faster then everyone else" or "the power travel forward in time one second"
The ability to see people die in the worst way possible just by being around. You probably wouldn't be allowed anywhere near a hospital.
Your gain the strength to pick up planets, but only while you are fapping.
The ability to shit and piss from the same hole.
ability to teleport to a destination only without anything you are touching and it's only for a couple milliseconds before you return your original position
Super fast aging. Sure you end up with a head like an aliens testicle, but you can buy alcohol by age 5. [t]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_z7aFDj6O8yg/S88KV29K8DI/AAAAAAAAAAU/mqg2CG3Ei6k/s1600/progeria.jpg[/t]
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