The ability to rip somebody's head off, if and only if it is going to be done so you can shit down their neck.
Being able to quickly discharge any handheld device by simply holding it
[QUOTE=Bloodshot12;40397692]The ability to rip somebody's head off, if and only if it is going to be done so you can shit down their neck.[/QUOTE]
That isn't useless. That's FUCKING AWESOME!
The ability to be gay and attracted to homophobes.
Ability to turn any food product in to ice cream, but it's melted, and without a cone/cup/etc.
The ability to let everyone instantly know on a telepathic level that you have such an ability, but nothing else.
The ability to stop bullets with your mind but only 1 second before you are about to die
The ability to make branches smack people as you go by.
[QUOTE=genkaz92;40397735]The ability to let everyone instantly know on a telepathic level that you have such an ability, but nothing else.[/QUOTE]
this is a paradox of uselessness
[editline]24th April 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=fantafuzz;40393357]The ability to freeze time completely for 25 seconds. It would affect you too[/QUOTE]
This would be very useful for a dancer.
Freeze time mid air.
[QUOTE=J!NX;40398175]this is a paradox of uselessness
[editline]24th April 2013[/editline]
This would be very useful for a dancer.
Freeze time mid air.[/QUOTE]
Noone would know that you froze time, as everyones time freezes.. Hence as time is a relative thing, did time even freeze?
The ability to get 100 facebook likes per post you make every second.
[QUOTE=twatbagg;40391470]The ability to levitate, but only whilst shitting.[/QUOTE]
Have you even [i]tried[/i] taking a shit in sharp grass?! That shit would be useful.
How about, the ability to expel pure steam out of your anus?
The ability to stop time
Including you
the ability to see trough plastic.
The ability to poop a perfect sphere.
super running speed
only while sitting
[QUOTE=comet1337;40399069]super running speed
only while sitting[/QUOTE]
This would be great in office chairs. Make sure your feet can reach the floor and whoosh
The ability to generate light from my fingertips, in broad daylight.
the ability to transform a penny from 1995 to a penny from 1996
the ability to notice turds when your foot is 0.1 second away from stepping on it.
The ability to degauss an lcd monitor
also
The ability to taste your own saliva.
The ability to turn a random item within 100 miles of you into gold.
[QUOTE=Overactor;40408433]The ability to turn a random item within 100 miles of you into gold.[/QUOTE]
But there's still a chance of getting a big item turned in to gold near you.
The ability to turn a copy of the Declaration of Independence to a copy of the Declaration of Independence WITHOUT John Handcock's signature on it.
All this thread does is make me think of superpowers that would actually be damn awesome to have.
Like the ability to turn any donut into any other type of donut you want. You could buy cheap plain donuts and turn them into your favorite.
[QUOTE=Dukov Traboski;40390937]After my dad's brain surgery he found himself with a pretty useless superpower.
The ability to eat as much cold snacks as he can and not get a brain freeze.[/QUOTE]
I already have that. I've never had a brainfreeze in my life.
You all have my permission to bow down.
You can fly, but only in the vacuum of space.
You can hear sound but only in space.
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