• Sex, Girlfriends and Shit II
    3,229 replies, posted
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;31273409]Hints are bullshit. Never pay attention to supposed "hints," at least not in this context. If you're not sure, ask her out. Don't try to analyze what she says and interpret it as her saying "yes ask me out" or "no don't ask me out."[/QUOTE] Yeah, I know. It was just something I noticed, the way i worded it on here made it seem like i read into it a lot more than i actually did.
>Chilling with my friend. >Encounter 2 random girls: 1 brunette and 1 blonde. >Randomly call them. >Have a small chat. >Get numbers. >Have a chat through phone, get their names. >Check Facebook pictures. >Gag. Today is very good day.
what do you mean you gagged when you saw their facebook pictures? you saw them in person didn't you?
Maybe he gagged for some other reason? Maybe he was sticking is finger into his throat for some reason while he searched facebook.
We didn't see their faces close since we were on bikes and they were walking. We just shouted. :v: Besides, she had different face.
what
wtf
Today is very good day.
Fingered my girlfriend for the first time this morning/last night, that went really well. Surprised her with it while we were making out, she loved it. Anyway, I have a few questions that are somewhat related. First off, is it normal to only get a half boner and not get a full on stiffy? Because I'm going to contribute it to the stress of everything being new to me whereas she has a bit of experience. It's odd since I've never had such a problem before. Also, if anyone has any general tips on sex it would be greatly appreciated. And since someone is likely to ask, I'm 17. The sex stuff is a whole new frontier to me. Picking up on girls, charming them, all that jazz? Easy, but this is new. She's told me that I'm a quick learner which is definitely a good thing.
Most dudes are quick learners. Sex is pretty much instinctual, you'll automatically know what to do when the time comes. Just slap a condom on and go to town. Especially if it's your first time doing stuff like that, then nerves could cause you to not achieve a raging hard erection. I have practically zero nerves about that stuff nowadays and I still can't get a rock hard boner most of the time, though that often has to do with condoms. I can get up to about 90 percent power with a condom on, on a good day.
She went from a random customer at my work, to a friend, to one of my greatest friends, to my first girlfriend, to my ex, to my more than a friend, and finally after tonight just a friend. I feel like death [editline]23rd July 2011[/editline] Can't sleep tonight, won't sleep tonight, won't leave the bed tomorrow, this is fucking horrible. I hate this feeling.
[QUOTE=Mr_Razzums;31284210]She went from a random customer at my work, to a friend, to one of my greatest friends, to my first girlfriend, to my ex, to my more than a friend, and finally after tonight just a friend. I feel like death [editline]23rd July 2011[/editline] Can't sleep tonight, won't sleep tonight, won't leave the bed tomorrow, this is fucking horrible. I hate this feeling.[/QUOTE] Life will go on man. Breakups and dealing with them can suck, but it will pass. I would say you should force yourself up and go for a long walk.. And always focus on the negative things she's done, not the positive. Dark_Light, where's your breakup guide when we need it?
I know but its like, I have the stupid irrational fear (the fear I keep telling myself is silly) of the "blah blah blah it took you 19 years to get a gf, good luck finding another, or one half as good as this one". Ugh, I know its stupid to think that but its seriously whats going through my mind.
for like 12 of those years you weren't even trying, and the next 3 or 4 you probably weren't thinking about it very hard either.
[QUOTE=Octyl;31284713]Life will go on man. Breakups and dealing with them can suck, but it will pass. I would say you should force yourself up and go for a long walk.. And always focus on the negative things she's done, not the positive. Dark_Light, where's your breakup guide when we need it?[/QUOTE] It's in the OP of the [url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1089242-Maverick-s-Love-Relationship-Social-Advice-Thread-V2]other thread[/url], although in retrospect I wrote that when I myself was in a pretty bad place from my own breakup, so maybe the advice there isn't all that objective. For example, the whole part about "focusing on the negatives," I don't exactly agree with anymore. At the time I had a lot of pretty negative feelings towards the girl, which aren't and weren't healthy to hold on to and bathe in. Now I'm able to look back on all of the memories, good and bad, and just accept them for what they are. I look back on the good times and smile, knowing that we had a lot of fun together which I'll always hold as some of my fondest memories. Similarly I can look on the not so great times between us and understand why I felt the way I did, and how I can use this hindsight to develop myself for future relationships. However, I do realize why I said to avoid thinking of all the happy times. In the immediate post-breakup period, thinking about such things is bound to make you miss her more. In any case though, I figure my understanding of all of this has matured since then so perhaps I need to re-write it for when the thread reaches v3. But anyway, I hope you can get something from all of that Mr_Razzums. She was your first, it's perfectly natural to feel completely shattered right now, complete with stupid irrational fears and insecurities. But as the saying goes, time really does heal all wounds. You know this, you know you'll be okay soon, you know this won't last forever, you know there's 1000s of other girls out there which you'll meet; it's just a matter of dealing with the emotions you're feeling in a healthy manner. A lot of the practical advice given in the guide is bound to help you, such as a period of no-contact. Just from your post there with you saying you went from "ex to more than a friend to just a friend," it's clear you're already making mistakes (which I myself made only about 10 times) in reaction to how you're feeling. You broke up, both missed each other and probably entered some strange, confusing pseudo-relationship just to stay comfortable. Only naturally, this ended again, and look where you're at now, you have to deal with 'breaking up' with her all over again, of course you feel like death. Personally my ex and I 'broke up' and got 'back together' about 6-7 times, and only recently did we make it clear that we both just need to take some time apart from each other to stop this ridiculous cycle from continuing. I don't know the exact details of your situation, but it sounds like you've already done this once and have returned to just friends for now. I would recommend telling her that it's in the best interests of both of you to have some distance for a while until you're both comfortably over it. I won't say much more as I'll probably end up repeating half the shit I've said in that guide I wrote, so give that a read for now. Really though, you just need to stay on top of your emotions and the crazy things they can do to your logic, and where that fails distract yourself with games, hobbies, friends, etc so as to avoid falling into vicious cycles of feeling sorry for yourself and other negative thoughts. It doesn't last forever, and by the end of all of it you'll be a stronger and maturer person that's better equipped for dealing with similar situations in the future. All the best dude <3.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;31285633]It's in the OP of the [url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1089242-Maverick-s-Love-Relationship-Social-Advice-Thread-V2]other thread[/url], although in retrospect I wrote that when I myself was in a pretty bad place from my own breakup, so maybe the advice there isn't all that objective. For example, the whole part about "focusing on the negatives," I don't exactly agree with anymore. At the time I had a lot of pretty negative feelings towards the girl, which aren't and weren't healthy to hold on to and bathe in. Now I'm able to look back on all of the memories, good and bad, and just accept them for what they are. I look back on the good times and smile, knowing that we had a lot of fun together which I'll always hold as some of my fondest memories. Similarly I can look on the not so great times between us and understand why I felt the way I did, and how I can use this hindsight to develop myself for future relationships. However, I do realize why I said to avoid thinking of all the happy times. In the immediate post-breakup period, thinking about such things is bound to make you miss her more. In any case though, I figure my understanding of all of this has matured since then so perhaps I need to re-write it for when the thread reaches v3. But anyway, I hope you can get something from all of that Mr_Razzums. She was your first, it's perfectly natural to feel completely shattered right now, complete with stupid irrational fears and insecurities. But as the saying goes, time really does heal all wounds. You know this, you know you'll be okay soon, you know this won't last forever, you know there's 1000s of other girls out there which you'll meet; it's just a matter of dealing with the emotions you're feeling in a healthy manner. A lot of the practical advice given in the guide is bound to help you, such as a period of no-contact. Just from your post there with you saying you went from "ex to more than a friend to just a friend," it's clear you're already making mistakes (which I myself made only about 10 times) in reaction to how you're feeling. You broke up, both missed each other and probably entered some strange, confusing pseudo-relationship just to stay comfortable. Only naturally, this ended again, and look where you're at now, you have to deal with 'breaking up' with her all over again, of course you feel like death. Personally my ex and I 'broke up' and got 'back together' about 6-7 times, and only recently did we make it clear that we both just need to take some time apart from each other to stop this ridiculous cycle from continuing. I don't know the exact details of your situation, but it sounds like you've already done this once and have returned to just friends for now. I would recommend telling her that it's in the best interests of both of you to have some distance for a while until you're both comfortably over it. I won't say much more as I'll probably end up repeating half the shit I've said in that guide I wrote, so give that a read for now. Really though, you just need to stay on top of your emotions and the crazy things they can do to your logic, and where that fails distract yourself with games, hobbies, friends, etc so as to avoid falling into vicious cycles of feeling sorry for yourself and other negative thoughts. It doesn't last forever, and by the end of all of it you'll be a stronger and maturer person that's better equipped for dealing with similar situations in the future. All the best dude <3.[/QUOTE] Thanks, this helped a bunch! I'd say more thanks but not feeling it
Dark_light is always a great advice giver
[QUOTE=H4yd3n;31283646]Fingered my girlfriend for the first time this morning/last night, that went really well. Surprised her with it while we were making out, she loved it. Anyway, I have a few questions that are somewhat related. First off, is it normal to only get a half boner and not get a full on stiffy? Because I'm going to contribute it to the stress of everything being new to me whereas she has a bit of experience. It's odd since I've never had such a problem before. Also, if anyone has any general tips on sex it would be greatly appreciated. And since someone is likely to ask, I'm 17. The sex stuff is a whole new frontier to me. Picking up on girls, charming them, all that jazz? Easy, but this is new. She's told me that I'm a quick learner which is definitely a good thing.[/QUOTE] Dude don't worry about it, it's very common though unspoken of by most guys. -snip-
Well she wrote me a note, and she said it explains her feelings and reasoning on it and shes going to give it to me tomorrow or sometime. I guess because of my emotional state I just finished writing a giant note about everything I felt about her in it. I guess we'll just trade letters and that will be the end of our relationship, romantically anyway. Ugh I couldn't get through writing that without tearing up. I have work in two hours, I guess I should try to sleep now.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;31285333]for like 12 of those years you weren't even trying, and the next 3 or 4 you probably weren't thinking about it very hard either.[/QUOTE] Honestly i've never tried to get a girlfriend, it's just never been a driving force in my life, nothing i've ever felt i'd need to be happy. I've always figured if it happens that's great, but until then i'll keep going to gigs/parties, going to pub with mates and enjoy working at the job i love.
[QUOTE=Occlusion;31287200]Honestly i've never tried to get a girlfriend, it's just never been a driving force in my life, nothing i've ever felt i'd need to be happy. I've always figured if it happens that's great, but until then i'll keep going to gigs/parties, going to pub with mates and enjoy working at the job i love.[/QUOTE] With me is i want to try, and i somewhat do but i don't know how. 4 years without succes.
never thought i would find myself in a long-distance relationship. lolllllll
That's pretty relieving to hear. I wasn't too worried about it because when it comes time to perform I'm sure I'll manage but I feel a bit better about it now. Another question for you guys; would you have sex with just the pill, or would you make sure that you have a condom on?
Depends how likely she is to have an STI.
Even if a girl was on the pill, I'd use a condom. Better safe than sorry.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;31292619]Even if a girl was on the pill, I'd use a condom. Better safe than sorry.[/QUOTE] If she was a virgin?
[QUOTE=SataniX;31294584]If she was a virgin?[/QUOTE] Um, yeah. It's not like virgins have a smaller chance of getting preggers.
The point is, if she is using pills and is a virgin you shouldn't be getting any STDs, but why would a virgin use pills anyway. Just use condom, pills are for steady relationships that actually last longer than few months.
[QUOTE=Inufin;31295770]The point is, if she is using pills and is a virgin you shouldn't be getting any STDs, but why would a virgin use pills anyway. Just use condom, pills are for steady relationships that actually last longer than few months.[/QUOTE] Or they're for girls who like sex?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;31294975]Um, yeah. It's not like virgins have a smaller chance of getting preggers.[/QUOTE] Think he meant for STDs. But yeah, pill+condom is one of the best combination of protection. Unless you use condom with that thing that works for 5-7 years (which is said to be 95% or more efficient). [editline]23rd July 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Inufin;31295770]but why would a virgin use pills anyway.[/QUOTE] Pretty sure I read that some women (in the previous thread) enjoy bigger breasts/smoother skin/smoother periods due to the pill. I am still on conspiracy theory that Cracked introduced, with the pill inverting your feelings toward the partner.
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