Giraffen, what happened to your online-gf-but-not-really? Not just being a dick, I am genuinely curious.
It's the sort of thing that could destroy your friendship or something
We don't really have a 'friendship', they're just two girls I know and occasionally talk to. Another reason I feel so confident about it is that I really have nothing to lose, especially as I graduate in a matter of weeks and won't ever be seeing them again.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;31962561]We don't really have a 'friendship', they're just two girls I know and occasionally talk to. Another reason I feel so confident about it is that I really have nothing to lose, especially as I graduate in a matter of weeks and won't ever be seeing them again.[/QUOTE]
Then try it. Just know it probably won't happen according to your plan in that long post. If it happens that is.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;31962561]We don't really have a 'friendship', they're just two girls I know and occasionally talk to. Another reason I feel so confident about it is that I really have nothing to lose, especially as I graduate in a matter of weeks and won't ever be seeing them again.[/QUOTE]
He means that it could destroy their friendship.
[editline]27th August 2011[/editline]
Though I don't think that it would. If they think it would, then they wouldn't do it. Otherwise it doesn't matter.
Fair enough, and yeah that's understandable. I received some replies to this elsewhere and looking back on what I posted last night, it probably came off sounding a little creepy haha. But anyway, on the night I'm just going to take it slow and see what happens. I've since realized how ridiculous this idea really is, so if it doesn't end up happening I won't at all be affected or disappointed.
Threesomes ruin relationships, not friendships.
As in, if you're with a dude/chick and have a threesome together with another person, your relationship won't survive that. Friends can totally join in on orgies together without any problems. If dudes can run trains on girls without breaking their friendships, girls can take turns having a dude screw them without breaking their friendships.
So, me and my GF broke up. Didn't expect it to end this quietly. After a year, I wanted a more serious relationship. She on the other hand enjoyed our current hugs and kisses that I can only call out as a "friendship". We couldn't even talk this over before, but she knew that I was miserable. I packed up all my stuff, all the movies we still haven't watched. So many things not done, so many things incomplete. But unless I could find a way to keep my misery inside of me, I'd make her miserable as well.
I indirectly blame this thread and any threads of this nature, really. But then again, if I haven't noticed it now, I'd notice it later, and nothing would change. So yeah, excount +1. Back to the boring single life, I guess.
Boring single life? You've got it all wrong mate.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;31965769]Boring single life? You've got it all wrong mate.[/QUOTE]
Depends on who. My life in itself is pretty boring, at least to those who are not me. Considering that I also lost a good reason to look to another day doesn't help much either. I mean, sure, maybe if I lived on college campus, then I'd have shitload to do/loadsa people to talk to. Otherwise, I don't really have much else in the interest.
Best thing to do is to finally find a job, then start socializing from there alongside people in college.
Sounds like your in a relationship life was boring too.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;31969595]Sounds like your in a relationship life was boring too.[/QUOTE]
Meh, it was fun while it lasted. It had it's high ups and low downs. T'was fun while it lasted.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;31123390]-old but epic post-[/QUOTE]
I kind of got that impression from you, tried to prove you wrong etc.
You were right :smith:
well I met a girl online at the beginning of the school year, and we talked like every day and all night, and by the second day we were talking I felt like I knew her my whole life, and this was pretty much the first time I felt this way about a girl, so I asked her out (yes, I asked her out... over the internet, don't judge -.-) anyway, she said yes, and I was the happiest I had been in a while (like literally 6 years) and we went out for two weeks, and I had this hope of getting my drivers license (in two years) and driving to meet her, and then she broke up with me (yup, I got internet dumped :3) so I cried, for like a night (or two) and then about two weeks later, I realized that having a long distance relationship with I girl I have never met before, was a bad idea, and that my stupid dream of being "BF and GF" for two years and then driving to meet her was pretty stupid, also that I should meet a girl first, not just assume I "love" her.
Moral of the story is that dating a girl you've never met before is a bad and stupid idea.
The End
wat
How did you go out for two weeks if you never met her in real life?
It's called making a bad decision, and a long distance relationship... with someone you've never met before, I realize this is a stupid idea so I'm not looking for a lecture I just posted my story
EDIT: whoops this post sounded more mean than I intended, sorry
"BF and GF"
lol meeting someone online whom you would like to pursue romantically is just an awful idea entirely until you're old enough to drive, and even then it's usually a better idea to avoid it.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;32000159]"BF and GF"
lol meeting someone online whom you would like to pursue romantically is just an awful idea entirely until you're old enough to drive, and even then it's usually a better idea to avoid it.[/QUOTE]
yes, hence the "quotes"
[QUOTE=falloutguy;32000135]It's called making a bad decision, and a long distance relationship... with someone you've never met before, I realize this is a stupid idea so I'm not looking for a lecture I just posted my story[/QUOTE]
I know.
I'm just asking how you supposedly went out despite never meeting each other. There's a difference between being together and dating. Dating means you're going and doing stuff together. You can't date online.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;32000246]I know.
I'm just asking how you supposedly went out despite never meeting each other. There's a difference between being together and dating. Dating means you're going and doing stuff together. You can't date online.[/QUOTE]
It was just a bad choice of words, my bad
"You wanna come mine some iron ore with me on Monday? :love:"
It's nice to hear you learned everything you had to learn about Internet relationships quite efficiently.
[QUOTE=falloutguy;32000077]well I met a girl online at the beginning of the school year, and we talked like every day and all night, and by the second day we were talking I felt like I knew her my whole life, and this was pretty much the first time I felt this way about a girl, so I asked her out (yes, I asked her out... over the internet, don't judge -.-) anyway, she said yes, and I was the happiest I had been in a while (like literally 6 years) and we went out for two weeks, and I had this hope of getting my drivers license (in two years) and driving to meet her, and then she broke up with me (yup, I got internet dumped :3) so I cried, for like a night (or two) and then about two weeks later, I realized that having a long distance relationship with I girl I have never met before, was a bad idea, and that my stupid dream of being "BF and GF" for two years and then driving to meet her was pretty stupid, also that I should meet a girl first, not just assume I "love" her.
Moral of the story is that dating a girl you've never met before is a bad and stupid idea.
The End[/QUOTE]
I think the moral of the story is more that you shouldn't be a creep in a long distance relationship (not to say that a long distance relationshiip is a good or bad thing). Telling her your hopes and dreams of a longterm relationship in the first 2 weeks is a big No No.
And I'm sure all he meant was he asked something along the lines of "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" to which she accepted, and they were 'going out' for two weeks before she broke up with him. Usual primary school definition of 'going out with' or 'asking out' someone.
being a creep? uh no, I was just being a stupid teenager (I still am) I didnt know what I was doing (I still dont XD)
EDIT: also I didn't tell her, I just thought of it,
[url]http://www.edenfantasys.com/tp-landing-url/sexis/sex-and-society/devils-advocate-consent-double-standards-0822111/[/url]
Here's something I just read that could spark quite an interesting discussion, I'm curious as to what other people think of this. To sum it up:
[quote]Whacked out, drunken-ass consent is still consent; otherwise we have to reexamine a woman’s right to drink.
...
If you’re blacked-out drunk, but still capable of talking, walking and doing things, you’re still responsible for your actions and your decisions.
...
The other celebrity example is Bristol Palin, the teen-mum who scuppered Sarah Palin’s shot at the vice presidency.
In her recent biography, Bristol claims she only lost her virginity to boyfriend Levi because he got her drunk on wine coolers. In some accounts she passed out and he had sex with her (clearly rape, as she was unable to consent.) In others, though, she drunkenly consented to sex that she wouldn’t have done if sober.
Only one is rape. The other is just a shitty personal decision.
The distinction is an important one; and needs to be addressed. There is something deeply troubling and hypocritical about a society that assumes an intoxicated woman isn’t responsible for sexual choices she makes while intoxicated.
...
If women aren’t to be held responsible for decisions they make while drunk, then they shouldn’t be allowed to reach that level of diminished responsibility in the first place. That’s an absolutely ridiculous notion — but one that highlights the double standard we have regarding women, alcohol and personal responsibility.
So-called feminists might think they’re being highly enlightened by accusing men who have sex with consenting-but-intoxicated women as “rapists” but what it actually does is perpetuate the stereotype that women are can’t be trusted to be responsible for their own sexuality — much less their drinking.
When it comes down to it, there is never a grey area when it comes to rape. A man who has sex with a woman who doesn’t consent is raping her (‘yes’ means ‘yes,’ rather than ‘no’ means ‘no’ – because not saying anything also means ‘no.’)
But when a woman does say ‘yes’ — even if she’s so drunk she doesn’t remember it the next morning — it is still ‘yes.’
Like every other ill-considered word or action we make while drunk — from drinking and driving to that scary tattoo — consensual sex is a consequence drinkers have to take responsibility for. Even women.
[/quote]
I very much agree with this editor's opinion. I've never really thought about this before but it's definitely logical. Everyone is responsible for all of their decisions, drunk or not, consenting to sex should be no different. I think the only area this gets a little iffy is when one party (presumably the male) remains sober whilst getting the other party drunk, and then proceeds to have sex with them. That's when it becomes more on the side of the guy 'taking advantage' of the intoxicated girl, but even still she's the one making the decision to get drunk, fully aware that it could indeed lead to decisions that she may not be 100% comfortable with in a better state of mind. It's obviously a bit more difficult as rape is clearly a touchy subject for many people, and can leave a girl with emotional and mental issues for the rest of her life, but I don't think it's enough to warrant such a double standard.
What do other people think?
I totally agree, if a girl gets drunk and decides to have sex with someone... That isn't rape, even if they regret their choice. That being said, I tend to air on the side of caution since I fucking hate feeling like I'm taking advantage of someone.
When unsure as to how to properly spell a word in a phrase, [b]err[/b] on the side of caution. ;)
While I agree that sex is sex, no matter how drunk you are, there is an issue with the whole thing.
Excuse me for the personal info, and I'm not looking for pity or anything but:
Some years ago, 4 to be exact, I was at this party and a couple of guys was trying to get me really drunk with great success. After playing this game for a while, one of the guys wanted to go outside, because he wanted a cigarette - he asked me to tag along and so I did. When we got outside, he wanted to go BEHIND the barn we were in, and due to my intoxication, I didn't really see the harm in that. Now, normally, I wouldn't have agreed to go away from everybody - I didn't care much for the guy, he was sort of always on my back about something, and I dare say I actually disliked him a fair bit. Behind the barn, he pulled me up to the wall and kissed me. I didn't resist much, but a little. He stopped, and I was about to leave, so I started to walk back. Now, he started yelling a bit at me, and was saying stuff like "Please come back!" so I turned around and started walking in his direction, and he grabbed my arm and pulled me in between some bushes and trees so nobody could see us. He started kissing me again, and this time I didn't do anything about it. However, when he wanted to have sex with me, I remember saying no, but that didn't really go too well with what he wanted, so I ended up on my back, telling him to stop. Now, you could probably argued that I should've kicked him in the nuts or done something to hurt him so I could get away, however, I'm a girl, guys are stronger, and I was in shock and very drunk. All in all just powerless.
Now, why am I telling this? Because when it comes to intoxicated sex there IS a grey area. Personally I don't have a doubt in my mind that this was rape, even if I didn't object much to him kissing me, however, when I went to the police to press charges, the policeman made it clear that seeing as I had agreed to go back behind the barn with the guy and hadn't objected to kissing him, it would be hard to make a case out of it, seeing as there hadn't been any voilence or evidence unconstented sex - even though that was exactly what it was. The fact that I was drunk didn't help my case at all either, and the policeman actually accused me of making it up because he thought it was simply a case of me regretting something I had done.
Hey guys, I'm back. Remember me?
I made a post back in May. A bad one admittedly. Made Pepin cringe.
[post=30032091]Here[/post]
Anyway, I come back here and find this page most fitting, seeing how falloutguy's story mirrors and contrasts mine.
So basically, I met a girl online, felt like never before, asked her out, and 2 weeks later... well similarities end there; I plan to visit America to see her. I do so, I fly to America on June 22nd to see her. I get there, she's nowhere to be seen, I panic, I've been duped, I'm the victim of some guys cruel, evil prank. I've spent over £1000 of my parents money on jack shit.
Then I find her, she and her dad+uncle were waiting in the wrong area of the airport.
Day 1 is awkward.
Day 2 more so, the tension of it palpable. It is broken when we finally kiss (my first real kiss). I could write more and make myself feel good by boasting, but that would be immature and you guys don't care, you've heard it, experienced it (most of you) all before.
The two weeks of my trip are magical. So we make a change of arrangements. We extend the two week trip to 2 months. And so we spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week together, for 2 months. 2 months together with (due to circumstance of no real money and no transport) nothing to do but spend time at home. And it wasn't all roses no. There were teething problems in the relationship, the inevitable arguments between a stupid guy just breaching the world of women and his dedicated girlfriend. I disliked some of the conditions, I missed home comforts a bit (sharing a single bed was not always easy). But, it didn't matter because it all worked out and we loved each other so much. So we attempt to get another extension, an indefinite one. Her parents are ecstatic, mine blow the idea out of the water. And so 2 months goes by so slow but all the same all too fast, so magical and so normal, until finally I have to leave. I don't think I coped. I didn't even react, it didn't bother me. Even as I said goodbye to her at the airport security, and she wept and I did too, it hadn't hit me, I guess being so focused on not missing my flight etc kept my mind occupied. But on the 9 hour flight, it hit me, but not head on, it circled my thoughts, I wept for seconds and recovered, my mind cycling the memories and the loneliness.
It hit me head on after we argued the night I got back. Within hours of the relationship becoming long distance, after the intimacy of it, it was strained. I love her so much. The week since I left has been months, the time I was with her was a lifetime within hours.
And so we face the future. If my parents have their way I'll see her again next summer, but we both know that is much, much too long, we and her parents have another plan, where I go to live with them after Christmas, just over 4 months, and even that we know will be hell. She is handling my leaving much worse than I, for days she was not hungry and barely ate, we both entered depression. And so it comes down to me. I must talk to my parents about our plan. I have always had trouble talking to my parents about things that matter, the best being that I write notes and letters to them about anything of the sort, but this I know must be done in person, and I know I must do it but I find it so difficult, I have put it off so many times in the last week, and broken promises to her to do it and it tears me apart. Holy shit I just realised I'm ranting this to you guys on here. Oh well, it matters to me.
So basically a long distance E-lationship worked until we met where it improved but when it became lone distance again it has made things so much harder.
Sorry for the rant, but it's all to do with the relationship. As for shit, well while I was there I was constipated so bad I went to hospital where they couldn't treat me, and I had to take laxatives, which worked, and then worked too well. And as for sex, well, it happened. I've matured enough I think not to be ranting on the internet about that to boost my e-peen.
So yeah. Maverick I need you! Yell at me about [del]confidence[/del] manning the fuck up and stuff!
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