• Sex, Girlfriends and Shit II
    3,229 replies, posted
[QUOTE=junker|154;32269270]I do to. There is not much to do around here and the public transportation sucks, besides I do not own a car. With around the world I meant that pubs and cafes are nearly everywhere. It's a good business and sometimes the owners of the pubs have great ideas and have cool interiors or concepts. Even if she's a geek, you still can go out with her. Being a geek doesn't mean that you have to sit in a room allday. I know some people who study computer science and really sit a lot infront of a pc but they sitll manage to go outside, have loads of friends and be cool with girls. Besides the categorization of people is dumb. Just do whatever you please.[/QUOTE] Fuck I study Aerospace Engineering and I do well at it but I still manage to go out drinking or socializing nearly every night [editline]13th September 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Giraffen93;32269334]eh so she's unsure because i'm nervous/unsure. great.[/QUOTE] Then make up your mind and say "Right lets just..." - just say come around to my place and lets watch a movie get to know each other better
[QUOTE=ZeroMinus;32269349]Fuck I study Aerospace Engineering and I do well at it but I still manage to go out drinking or socializing nearly every night [editline]13th September 2011[/editline] Then make up your mind and say "Right lets just..." - just say come around to my place and lets watch a movie get to know each other better[/QUOTE] but we did last weekend
The only hard thing about socialising is if you have to start from 0. That means that you have literally no friends at all and you need to get some cool people to know. But once you got a some great buddies, the rest will come eventually. It's not such a great deal. But things like school, work, university or sport clubs will really help you out because there are always people who share the same interest. [editline]13th September 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Giraffen93;32269379]but we did last weekend[/QUOTE] I do not get your problem, just do stuff together whatever you want. Although try to do something everytime unless she doesn't really want to.
[QUOTE=junker|154;32269383]The only hard thing about socialising is if you have to start from 0. That means that you have literally no friends at all and you need to get some cool people to know. But once you got a some great buddies, the rest will come eventually. It's not such a great deal. But things like school, work, university or sport clubs will really help you out because there are always people who share the same interest. [editline]13th September 2011[/editline] I do not get your problem, just do stuff together whatever you want. Although try to do something everytime unless she doesn't really want to.[/QUOTE] But still, she's unsure because i'm bad at taking initiative/doing stuff. Mainly because in my whole life i've never thought that hugs/holding hands and that stuff were "acceptable", as if the person does not want it etc.
Seriously, do not try to categorize actions like "holding hands" or "hugs". Just do whatever is natural. If you like a girl much then hug her. You will notice pretty fast if she likes it. It's pretty easy to notice if a girl likes you. What do you mean by initiating stuff? Just ask right away or plan something normal, it's not really that hard.
[QUOTE=junker|154;32269511]Seriously, do not try to categorize actions like "holding hands" or "hugs". Just do whatever is natural. If you like a girl much then hug her. You will notice pretty fast if she likes it. It's pretty easy to notice if a girl likes you. What do you mean by initiating stuff? Just ask right away or plan something normal, it's not really that hard.[/QUOTE] I never hug people and the like, it just feels wrong. And nope, it ends here, she doesn't want to.
Giraffen, we've said it before but I'll say it again, you need to get your own shit together before even trying to talk to a girl. You really have no idea what you're doing and the advice you get from this thread does very little to help you, even though you seem to ask for advice on every single step of every single interaction you have with every single girl. You're saying hugging people feels wrong, but you're trying to pursue a girl? What do you even want from her in the first place then, it clearly isn't a relationship if you're too scared to even hug her or hold her hand. You need to work on your social/people skills (i.e. not on the Internet), you need to get outside and experience the world so you're actually an interesting person that people want to know. I mean shit, you have less than 150 friends on FB and your DP is of a toad, and you have almost 8000 posts here. I'm not saying that these things alone define you as a person but there's clearly something up. If you want to end up in a meaningful relationship with a girl you really have to re-evaluate many of your core beliefs or ideas, because as it stands it's very unlikely any girl is going to stay around you for long enough, and you're going to continually be let down (as you just were) which is only going to feed into your self-defeating beliefs. I don't really know why I'm bothering to give you advice just after you've changed your avatar to a MLP one, that pretty much says it all.
The only things that can solve his problems are aging and maturity. He's a stupid kid. What do you people expect? He clearly hasn't developed the ability to listen to reason. Just let time do its job. If he matures, great. If he doesn't, natural selection. Either way, it's a waste of time to try and help him at this point.
Well it's been 5 months I'm with a girl, her parents pretty much didn't let her go out for the whole 2 months long vacation but we eventually were able to see each other like 5 times. I pretty much lost patience and forgot why I loved her, inducting in me not acting the way I did before, the very reason she loved me, for what I was, not for my pwuty face or shit like that. She did behave pretty terribly to me aswell, but we still managed to fix things up. It pretty much was the first time she really loved someone, so did I. A week ago she was still willing to be in a relationship with me and told me a few things she wanted me to do something about, I agreed and everything should have been alright. But now highschool started again, at first she ignored me, didn't really understand why, so I ended up taking a bit of her so precious time to talk for a bit face to face... in the end she dropped me. A few days has passed and I went from "not giving a fuck" to "crying like a fucking fag and realizing I absolutely loved her", it helped me figure out by myself stuff she didn't tell me and that I should change, I'm willing to change and do everything for her. I can clearly see there's still hope, after but she's incredibly uncertain about what she really wants right now. We smoked some pot together today so we talked about it, made some progress, she now admits if we were to be together again she may be happy and feel the same she'd feel towards me. Problem is right now she doesn't want to even try, I'd wait for a bit to let her think but I know well enough the girl to know she wouldn't go to me and say something as simple as "I'm willing to try", we know each others for 2 years now and when we both realized something was going on in between us I was already with someone, should wouldn't talk to me about it but I pretty much guessed she wanted us to be together by this time, dumped my ex and here we were, happy and caring for each others, we both admitted we were deeply in love by the second month. So where am I going here? Well if someone've been thru this in the past and know a few hints, just the big lines, I know there's no miraculous spell, I'd appreciate it. I don't really know how to react to all of this. I know what I really want but I don't really know what to do, I'm walking down this alley blindly.
lmao you dont love her she never loved you Her infatuation simply went away. Honeymoon period over. She now sees you for who you really are and she doesn't like it. Where do you go? Deal with it. Move on. Find someone else to go after. Welcome to life.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;32270348]lmao you dont love her she never loved you Her infatuation simply went away. Honeymoon period over. She now sees you for who you really are and she doesn't like it. Where do you go? Deal with it. Move on. Find someone else to go after. Welcome to life.[/QUOTE] She cared more about me than she did care about herself. So did I (and I still do).
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;32269848]Giraffen, we've said it before but I'll say it again, you need to get your own shit together before even trying to talk to a girl. You really have no idea what you're doing and the advice you get from this thread does very little to help you, even though you seem to ask for advice on every single step of every single interaction you have with every single girl. You're saying hugging people feels wrong, but you're trying to pursue a girl? What do you even want from her in the first place then, it clearly isn't a relationship if you're too scared to even hug her or hold her hand. You need to work on your social/people skills (i.e. not on the Internet), you need to get outside and experience the world so you're actually an interesting person that people want to know. I mean shit, you have less than 150 friends on FB and your DP is of a toad, and you have almost 8000 posts here. I'm not saying that these things alone define you as a person but there's clearly something up. If you want to end up in a meaningful relationship with a girl you really have to re-evaluate many of your core beliefs or ideas, because as it stands it's very unlikely any girl is going to stay around you for long enough, and you're going to continually be let down (as you just were) which is only going to feed into your self-defeating beliefs. I don't really know why I'm bothering to give you advice just after you've changed your avatar to a MLP one, that pretty much says it all.[/QUOTE] Then how do i "train myself" to hug people and the like? And nah i'm not really searching, all the girls come to me :v: Those are only people i know, that has fb that is. It's just for trolling? Also i removed it Many people take aspergers for just an imaginationary thing, but i fucking hate it, my brain tells me that i can mess up everything.. gah i'm just repeating myself i know. also i'm reading everything but i have a hard time replying to everything.
[QUOTE=Angry Frenchman;32270385]She cared more about me than she did care about herself. So did I (and I still do).[/QUOTE] lol sure whatever you say
Training yourself to hug? Just go for it, friends hug each others, there's nothing wrong with this.
[QUOTE=Angry Frenchman;32270480]Training yourself to hug? Just go for it, friends hug each others, there's nothing wrong with this.[/QUOTE] i never hug i got my first hug from a non-family member 2 years ago that's why.
Buy a teddy bear - hug the fuck out of it
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;32270463]lol sure whatever you say[/QUOTE] That's not really helping anyway. Call that whatever you want in the end there was something, there's still something on my side and I'm pretty sure she still feels something on her side, she's just totally uncomfortable about talking to me about it, she's incredibly complex on this side (always was) and doesn't really know what she should do right now, so she picked the easiest way and will try to stick to it unless I move my ass and find the right words, because she won't. (her close friend happens to be a friend of mine aswell) You're giving me your opinion about what we were, I don't need it.
[QUOTE=Giraffen93;32270487]i never hug i got my first hug from a non-family member 2 years ago that's why.[/QUOTE] You need to learn how to crawl before you learn how to walk.
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;32270543]at 16[/QUOTE] yes [QUOTE=ZeroMinus;32270529]Buy a teddy bear - hug the fuck out of it[/QUOTE] nah it's not the same thing i love hugs/contact, seriously. but hugging guys isn't really the same thing :v:
Your life will be so much better if you just have confidence, I meet so many girls by just walking up and talking to them, met girls on the bus, met girls in the book store, met girls clubbing, even met a girl who almost ran me over in her car - the issue I have with girls is letting go and getting attached and I've finally learned that, I went out the other night and it just brought reality to my feet. Just grow a pair and live you life, your relationship isn't going to last, you can try and disagree and do it your own way but it wont - your 18, just make the most of it, do the things you want to do with her and remember her for the memories you have and then try to let go when it ends. So fuck it, go for it, hug her, if your doing it wrong she will tell you and you can change get used to it, but at the end of the day your gonna have to change to be happier and to let this advice work, so as Maverick said your gonna need to grow up and mature - I think you just need an event to bring you into reality and starting living
[QUOTE=ZeroMinus;32270608]Your life will be so much better if you just have confidence, I meet so many girls by just walking up and talking to them, met girls on the bus, met girls in the book store, met girls clubbing, even met a girl who almost ran me over in her car - the issue I have with girls is letting go and getting attached and I've finally learned that, I went out the other night and it just brought reality to my feet. Just grow a pair and live you life, your relationship isn't going to last, you can try and disagree and do it your own way but it wont - your 18, just make the most of it, do the things you want to do with her and remember her for the memories you have and then try to let go when it ends.[/QUOTE] i can talk with people/girls just fine, if they're my buddies/randoms, not dating people.
[QUOTE=Giraffen93;32270661]i can talk with people/girls just fine, if they're my buddies/randoms, not dating people.[/QUOTE] I'm just making an example; if you have the confidence to talk with random people why don't you have the confidence to do other things? If I'm in confident in one thing it transpires to almost everything in my life
[QUOTE=ZeroMinus;32270683]I'm just making an example; if you have the confidence to talk with random people why don't you have the confidence to do other things? If I'm in confident in one thing it transpires to almost everything in my life[/QUOTE] well you tell me, i have no clue. i can walk up to anyone and start talking, no problem. i can talk with the girls on the school no problem, but people i "want to engage in", nope.avi
[QUOTE=Giraffen93;32270702]well you tell me, i have no clue. i can walk up to anyone and start talking, no problem. i can talk with the girls on the school no problem, but people i "want to engage in", nope.avi[/QUOTE] I think the only way your gonna learn is if you get really deep feelings for someone and you don't engage and you loose them, unless thats already happened? If thats the case you just need to go for it, either if you wake up one morning a changed person or you get drunk enough to do anything
[QUOTE=ZeroMinus;32270798]I think the only way your gonna learn is if you get really deep feelings for someone and you don't engage and you loose them, unless thats already happened? If thats the case you just need to go for it, either if you wake up one morning a changed person or you get drunk enough to do anything[/QUOTE] well that kinda happened now i think? but i haven't lost her yet. and when i get drunk i'm really social, but that's not really acceptable i think :v:
Just do this and you'll be fine. [video=youtube;9fdO4Y8q5Dc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fdO4Y8q5Dc&start=20[/video]
I took her hand when we were out walking, now that was scary as hell, but it worked.
i really dont feel like reading another ten pages of people telling giraffen to go outside or just go for it and him giving excuses. we've already given him this advice before, and he rejected it until he got removed from the thread.
I know i'm rejecting your advice, but i'm simply too unsure. I'm talking to a friend about this and it's extremely more friendly :v: And yes, i know i fucked up the chance, we were alone in the dark in a sofa. Yeah.
if you know you're just going to reject it, don't keep wasting everyone's time by continuing to talk about it. i see people write paragraphs and paragraphs and it's pointless.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.