Can I just add my two cents here, you NEVER tell a girl you like them until you know for certain that they feel the same way (i.e. you're in a relationship with them). Why are people under the impression that it's a good idea to do this? It puts the ball completely in her court, you lose all control of the situation and if she isn't interested then it puts you deep into the "but we're just friends" zone. You'll never again be as interesting or as intriguing to her as you once were if she knows you're crushing on her.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;32738072]Can I just add my two cents here, you NEVER tell a girl you like them until you know for certain that they feel the same way (i.e. you're in a relationship with them). Why are people under the impression that it's a good idea to do this? It puts the ball completely in her court, you lose all control of the situation and if she isn't interested then it puts you deep into the "but we're just friends" zone. You'll never again be as interesting or as intriguing to her as you once were if she knows you're crushing on her.[/QUOTE]
I'll keep your 2 cents. Playfully replying to a teasing question isn't "putting the ball in her court." If you believe that then you really should work on your harmless flirting skill set. I know you're an experienced guy Dark, but you don't seem to understand the concept of flirting in mature terms. Nothing about replying to a girl's question about who you like can be taken seriously unless you respond seriously like a dolt.
Evilan it's hardly flirting to say that you like someone. If you wanted to playfully flirt with her in that situation then you'd try and get her to think it's her but doubt it at the same time. I get that you're saying it would be suave if you did it in some knowing and cool way, but I'm sure for most people it would result in them saying it in an overt and immature way.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;32738439]Evilan it's hardly flirting to say that you like someone. If you wanted to playfully flirt with her in that situation then you'd try and get her to think it's her but doubt it at the same time. I get that you're saying it would be suave if you did it in some knowing and cool way, but I'm sure for most people it would result in them saying it in an overt and immature way.[/QUOTE]
That's what I was getting at.
^ Exactly, if you tell the audience you're telling to respond with "you", it's going to end up in a whole lot of awkward kids who have been crushing on one girl for years admitting their ~love~ for the girl in question. At this age it is hardly a 'teasing question', I mean I haven't been asked "Who do you like?" since the very start of high school and if any girl asked me that now I'd think they're pretty immature.
I know what you're trying to say as well, and I think there are better ways to playfully respond to the question whilst still putting the idea into their minds.
"Hmmmm, I might like you if you didn't ask so many questions!" or whatever, for example. "I would say you, but we'd never work out." through a smile, and when she asks why, give her some retarded reason and move on with the conversation. I think shit like that would work more, as there's really no room for a playful or flirtatious vibe if you're straight up answering with, "I like you."
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;32738439]Evilan it's hardly flirting to say that you like someone.[/quote]
Uh huh, because I totally said to say it straight faced like someone with no social skills who means everything they say. I may have worded it at first this way, but I recanted on my first statement. Flirting can be direct, you just can't sound serious about everything you say.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;32738439]If you wanted to playfully flirt with her in that situation then you'd try and get her to think it's her but doubt it at the same time.[/quote]
I disagree, the more you walk around that question, the worse you end up looking. You look insecure because you're afraid of someone else knowing who you like and you come off as unassertive because she will understand you are talking about her, but you're too pussy to say it. Confrontational teasing = best flirting technique.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;32738439]I get that you're saying it would be suave if you did it in some knowing and cool way, but I'm sure for most people it would result in them saying it in an overt and immature way.[/QUOTE]
This statement I don't doubt. Drop the monotone voice for a few minutes and try not to pause and it should work out if someone ever asks you that question. If you don't then telling her "you" would come off as creepy.
Anyways, I'm not going to continue arguing this out. I seem to always come off as the Devil's Advocate in these threads.
[editline]11th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;32738585]At this age it is hardly a 'teasing question', I mean I haven't been asked "Who do you like?" since the very start of high school and if any girl asked me that now I'd think they're pretty immature.[/QUOTE]
This I agree with. I haven't been asked it since my Junior year or by my guy buddies, but if someone ever were to ask it, I wouldn't allude to anything.
[QUOTE=Evilan;32738622]Anyways, I'm not going to continue arguing this out. I seem to always come off as the Devil's Advocate in these threads.[/QUOTE]
There's nothing wrong with that. It isn't really an argument either, there's no harm in discussing different view points. I don't think everything I say is the absolute correct answer to everything, and sometimes I look back on old posts I've made and think, "wtf was I talking about," so I'm always open to different ideas.
I think it's kind of an exaggeration to assume she'd take it THAT seriously though. It's not like you're saying you LIKE like her, just that you like her, if anything it's going to pique her curiosity and maybe make her want to explore that side of you more. If she dislikes it then you probably don't want to go that route with her anyways.
[QUOTE=Aetna;32739576]I think it's kind of an exaggeration to assume she'd take it THAT seriously though. It's not like you're saying you LIKE like her, just that you like her, if anything it's going to pique her curiosity and maybe make her want to explore that side of you more. If she dislikes it then you probably don't want to go that route with her anyways.[/QUOTE]
You're missing the point of the question "Who do you like." It's not asking "Who's your friend," rather it means "If you could build up the balls to ask someone out, who would it be?"
[QUOTE=djshox;32735363]Looks like my Mission:Surprise Flowers was a success:
[img]http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/7708/screenshot0000021.png[/img][/QUOTE]
Proof that surprise flowers are pretty much always a good idea.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;32739778]Proof that surprise flowers are pretty much always a good idea.[/QUOTE]
Last time I got dumped I got all these romantic ideas in my head to win her back involving flowers and stuff. I'm actually embarrassed that I was ever associated with the person I was for those couple of weeks.
[QUOTE=Evilan;32739773]You're missing the point of the question "Who do you like." It's not asking "Who's your friend," rather it means "If you could build up the balls to ask someone out, who would it be?"[/QUOTE]
I understand the point of the question. I still believe that it's being taken more seriously than necessary.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;32738072]Can I just add my two cents here, you NEVER tell a girl you like them until you know for certain that they feel the same way (i.e. you're in a relationship with them). Why are people under the impression that it's a good idea to do this? It puts the ball completely in her court, you lose all control of the situation and if she isn't interested then it puts you deep into the "but we're just friends" zone. You'll never again be as interesting or as intriguing to her as you once were if she knows you're crushing on her.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Evilan;32738298]I'll keep your 2 cents. Playfully replying to a teasing question isn't "putting the ball in her court." If you believe that then you really should work on your harmless flirting skill set. I know you're an experienced guy Dark, but you don't seem to understand the concept of flirting in mature terms. Nothing about replying to a girl's question about who you like can be taken seriously unless you respond seriously like a dolt.[/QUOTE]
Interesting division here... let me be the tie-breaker: Evilan's advice will work with older girls, probably about 21+. I know because I've done it. Again though, as argued, it's the playful flirting that is ok. Like Dark_Light said, you can't just be like "I'VE HAD A CHUBBY FOR YOU SINCE 6TH GRADE" because that is like the Friend Zone Event Horizon: no coming back from that shit. Anyway, if you're not sure what to do (or if you just generally lack experience picking up girls) just follow Dark's advice: it is always the safest route and will never fail you.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;32741692]Last time I got dumped I got all these romantic ideas in my head to win her back involving flowers and stuff. I'm actually embarrassed that I was ever associated with the person I was for those couple of weeks.[/QUOTE]
Ugh I did this too for a while... only for one girl and she wasn't even particularly special. I have no idea how or why I got so hooked on her :/
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;32743631]Interesting division here... let me be the tie-breaker: Evilan's advice will work with older girls, probably about 21+. I know because I've done it. Again though, as argued, it's the playful flirting that is ok. Like Dark_Light said, you can't just be like "I'VE HAD A CHUBBY FOR YOU SINCE 6TH GRADE" because that is like the Friend Zone Event Horizon: no coming back from that shit. Anyway, if you're not sure what to do (or if you just generally lack experience picking up girls) just follow Dark's advice: it is always the safest route and will never fail you.[/QUOTE]
Yeah that makes sense, and I did consider that seeing as Evilan is over 20 and I'm still only 17. I generally target my advice to those around my age and below, as I imagine that would be the majority of the audience of this thread/Facepunch as a whole, and also because obviously that is the only area I have experience in. I expect to mature a lot over the coming years and I am sure the dynamics of a relationship and male-female interactions will change a lot as well, so I accept that some of my opinions may be considered 'immature' by certain standards but I am open to having these opinions questioned.
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;32743631]Interesting division here... let me be the tie-breaker: Evilan's advice will work with older girls, probably about 21+. I know because I've done it. Again though, as argued, it's the playful flirting that is ok. [/quote]
That's a fair assumption. It has been a while since I dated anyone who was a teenager.
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;32743631]"I'VE HAD A CHUBBY FOR YOU SINCE 6TH GRADE"[/QUOTE]
Women love my chubby. I would call this a compliment.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;32744817]I generally target my advice to those around my age and below, as I imagine that would be the majority of the audience of this thread/Facepunch as a whole, and also because obviously that is the only area I have experience in.[/QUOTE]And you're right to do so. Most of Facepunch is probably <18 years old and clearly, most of the people seeking advice here are.
got the call from my recruiter today, going into the air force as an airfield systems specialist. kinda dece, wish i would have gotten one of my top 3 jobs, but i'm just happy to be going home for a couple months before i ship to basic on January 10th. as much as i enjoyed talking and texting and falling asleep on the phone with my girlfriend every day for the past three months, i can't wait to see her in person again.
~soooooooooooooo happy <3~
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;32765010]got the call from my recruiter today, going into the air force as an airfield systems specialist. kinda dece, wish i would have gotten one of my top 3 jobs, but i'm just happy to be going home for a couple months before i ship to basic on January 10th. as much as i enjoyed talking and texting and falling asleep on the phone with my girlfriend every day for the past three months, i can't wait to see her in person again.
~soooooooooooooo happy <3~[/QUOTE]
tee hee happy couples !~~! Xxxxxx
Forever alone <:(
you deserve it fgt
so, I just went from having no proper girlfriend in my life, to in the process of stealing some guy's girlfriend. hue hue fucking hue
[editline]13th October 2011[/editline]
does that make me a fucking awful person or what, she hasn't cheated on him with me or anything
[QUOTE=Turnips5;32768657]so, I just went from having no proper girlfriend in my life, to stealing some guy's girlfriend. hue hue fucking hue
[editline]13th October 2011[/editline]
does that make me a fucking awful person or what, she hasn't cheated on him with me or anything[/QUOTE]
well then you haven't stolen her yet have you.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;32769263]well then you haven't stolen her yet have you.[/QUOTE]
in the process, she says she definitely wants/needs to break up with him but is uneasy about it so I said not to worry about it and to take her time for which she thanked me profusely
guys, I am real happy right now that's all I'm sorry for wasting your time : D
[editline]14th October 2011[/editline]
I mean this isn't an advice chat is it, it's just post shit about sex and girlfriends so I thought why not
[QUOTE=Turnips5;32769441]in the process, she says she definitely wants/needs to break up with him but is uneasy about it so I said not to worry about it and to take her time for which she thanked me profusely[/QUOTE]
You might not be stealing her. She may just be wanting to break up with him, but is too afraid to bring it up. This has happened to many of my buddies in high school.
turnips that doesn't mean you "stole" her. don't rest on your laurels, you've still got work to do.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;32773056]turnips that doesn't mean you "stole" her. don't rest on your laurels, you've still got work to do.[/QUOTE]
He isn't even stealing her. I just read through his posts again and if what Turnips says is correct, then she wants to break up with her current BF. All Turnips is doing is acting as the catalyst and speeding up the break up.
[QUOTE=Evilan;32773402]He isn't even stealing her. I just read through his posts again and if what Turnips says is correct, then she wants to break up with her current BF. All Turnips is doing is acting as the catalyst and speeding up the break up.[/QUOTE]
yeah, you could look at it like that I guess, the thing is I'm certain the only reason she feels the need to break up with him is because I said "you know, I like you but I'm not gonna make you cheat on this guy" and she said that breaking up with him would be the obvious next thing to do but she's unsure of how to do it
[editline]14th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;32773056]turnips that doesn't mean you "stole" her. don't rest on your laurels, you've still got work to do.[/QUOTE]
I do realise that
thanks for the input guys
[QUOTE=Evilan;32735590]Oh god, I'm only 1.2 years away from it being socially acceptable to call my GF honey.[/QUOTE]
lol I'm 19 and I call my boyfriend 'honey' all the time.
I've lived with him for three years, though, so maybe that's acceptable? Don't do it when you've been going out for two weeks.
[QUOTE=Oicani Gonzales;32777059]turnips youre setting your expectations too high, you're NOT that special
its always better to keep it cool or else you might end up disappointed. stop thinking "i'm the reason she broke up with her bf i'm really cool", its better
[editline]14th October 2011[/editline]
^[/QUOTE]
thanks for your opinion, but she pretty much invited me on a date when I wasn't even expecting it yesterday, she had texted me earlier like "hey do you want to come and watch a film at 7" so I was like yeah sure, thinking it would be a group of people (I've been around her friends, they're nice), only at 6.40 when she came to my block and knocked on my door did I realise that it was just gonna be me and her, hahah
after the film (13 assassins, fun stuff) we went to the pub and beat two guys at table football and owned a pub quiz machine, then we walked back home at 11
trust me I (vaguely) know what I'm doing
[editline]14th October 2011[/editline]
and man, I'm chill as fuck about this, mainly because I'm not already madly in love with her and she's just a nice person and good to talk to and kinda cute
[editline]14th October 2011[/editline]
that makes everything so much easier
I don't know why everyone jumped on his back over this, from the start he sounded pretty chill about it and I only ever got the impression that the girl was more interested in him and he was just being polite about the breakup. He's happy with himself, as he would and should be, there's no need to detract from that besides saying, "don't get ahead of yourself, keep it cool, play this right and you'll get it."
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