[QUOTE=Mort and Charon;33628364]Text[/QUOTE]
Yeah we get treated like children too, their parents PAY the little brothers to spy on us. They always say in front of us to the brothers, "okay you guys get to chaperone them". Both her parents constantly spy on us, even out in public they say they're always watching us. It's creepy at times, and they're both super conservative christians even though they yell at their kids and borderline abuse them and the mom has said she used to sneak kids into her house all the time when she got super drunk at bars and passed out. Its like...wtf?
Wow, her parents are not as bad as that. Her dad is fine, a pretty chill guy, but its her mum that rules the roost. She doesn't like her seeing me more than once a week, won't let her stay over, and won't let me in her room. Yet she used to do all of those with her partner at that age.
God forbid how she'd react if she knew what we got up to when we are alone, and if she found out my gf lost her virginity almost a year ago.. to her ex. She'd probably make her leave me!
Her mother really is putting unnecessary strain on our relationship. I could understand stuff more if I hadn't been close friends with her for a year, and her mum already knows me. And we have been together almost 3 months now, yet we're limited to once a week? Can't even stop over? ridiculous!
My girlfriend really is a great girl, I hate that we have this problem.. I'd hate to lose her, but if things aren't getting easier in a couple of months we are going to have to sort shit out. It's hard enough finding opportunities to see her without her mother saying she can't see me half the time...
[QUOTE=Mort and Charon;33632563]Wow, her parents are not as bad as that. Her dad is fine, a pretty chill guy, but its her mum that rules the roost. She doesn't like her seeing me more than once a week, won't let her stay over, and won't let me in her room. Yet she used to do all of those with her partner at that age.
God forbid how she'd react if she knew what we got up to when we are alone, and if she found out my gf lost her virginity almost a year ago.. to her ex. She'd probably make her leave me!
Her mother really is putting unnecessary strain on our relationship. I could understand stuff more if I hadn't been close friends with her for a year, and her mum already knows me. And we have been together almost 3 months now, yet we're limited to once a week? Can't even stop over? ridiculous!
My girlfriend really is a great girl, I hate that we have this problem.. I'd hate to lose her, but if things aren't getting easier in a couple of months we are going to have to sort shit out. It's hard enough finding opportunities to see her without her mother saying she can't see me half the time...[/QUOTE]
Gah, I hate parents like that. Does she not realize you can't have a romantic relationship without some sort of intimacy? Plus most people have enough common sense to not try to fuck their daughter in their room, if you were really going to do something wouldn't one be inclined to take her out somewhere and fuck around in the back of the car?
[QUOTE=EagleEye;33632896]Gah, I hate parents like that. Does she not realize you can't have a romantic relationship without some sort of intimacy? Plus most people have enough common sense to not try to fuck their daughter in their room, if you were really going to do something wouldn't one be inclined to take her out somewhere and fuck around in the back of the car?[/QUOTE]
Wow I'm not saying I'd be having sex with her in her room.I wouldn't do it at mine unless the house is empty. Just literally go up and have a bit of alone time together and kiss and shit. We can't do that at hers at all.
And I'm a full time A-level student who has had the last 15 job applications turned down, how the fuck am I meant to run a car?
[QUOTE=Mort and Charon;33633109]Wow I'm not saying I'd be having sex with her in her room.I wouldn't do it at mine unless the house is empty. Just literally go up and have a bit of alone time together and kiss and shit. We can't do that at hers at all.
And I'm a full time A-level student who has had the last 15 job applications turned down, how the fuck am I meant to run a car?[/QUOTE]
Ha, sorry man it seems like you've taken my post the wrong way. Sorry if it came off dickish.
I was talking about how most parents around here assume that when two people are alone in a room, they are having sex. Thats how its always been for me at least. So its hard to get any alone time with anyone unless you go out somewhere.
[QUOTE=EagleEye;33633214]Ha, sorry man it seems like you've taken my post the wrong way. Sorry if it came off dickish.
I was talking about how most parents around here assume that when two people are alone in a room, they are having sex. Thats how its always been for me at least. So its hard to get any alone time with anyone unless you go out somewhere.[/QUOTE]
Oh right I get you now man. Yeah, I know my parents don't think I'm up to anything when we're upstairs, but her mother is just so annoying with things like that. Even though we are sometimes :v: . My mum almost walked in on us when I had my hand down her pants. Glad she never heard anything either :v:
When I am a parent I will let my kids know I will check on them every once in a while but other than that what they do is their own business (once they reach a certain age).
[QUOTE=Waffle99;33633512]When I am a parent I will let my kids know I will check on them every once in a while but other than that what they do is their own business (once they reach a certain age).[/QUOTE]
this is honestly the best way to handle it. let them be in whatever room, check on them occasionally, but it's ignorant to think you can keep them from doing anything, and when you were their age, it was the same way
My ex girlfriend used to be very naggy. And I mean all the fucking time. I used to be at the pub with my friends and I actually used to tell her so. She still had to throw that text message "WHY AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO ME? I GUESS YOUR FRIENDS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME, BYE!" I had to put up with this shit for 2 months and after that I had enough of her and enough of the average girl who wants a fucking boyfriend to live up to the image they have of a boyfriend.
And this was actually the closest thing I had that could be called a relationship. Most of my things were basically hook-ups that ended in relationships but never things that serious. But I was once completely in love with a girl, I actually did the craziest things for her and she loved me too back then. It was kind of a sad story because she moved away from my city and I didn't get to see her anymore.
But I never felt so badly in love again. Nor do I miss being with a girl. I like being single but if THAT ONE girl shows up, I'll run to her. But lately my problem is that I'm overwhelmed with test and work at college that I haven't stepped in a pub or party in years, and I kinda miss that.
But right now, I just want to take a huge break from girlfriends because of that crazy hag that was my ex. Always nagging me all the fucking time. I need some space to go to the pub every weekend to have a pint with my friends without having my cell phone full of text messages.
Maybe this is because I never had THAT special girl for much time. And I kinda envy that in some of my friends who accomplished a steady relationship. But as far as I go now, I won't have relationships with average girls. Just sex, hookups and nothing more than that.
I've probably put more thought into parenting than is normal for someone my age. I could write a ton on it.
I'll just say demanding obedience builds pointless rebellion. Non-intervention prevents them from benefiting from what you know. Building trust with them and helping them rather than dictating what they should do is best.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;33633920]I've probably put more thought into parenting than is normal for someone my age. I could write a ton on it.
I'll just say demanding obedience builds pointless rebellion. Non-intervention prevents them from benefiting from what you know. Building trust with them and helping them rather than dictating what they should do is best.[/QUOTE]
Difference between obedience and respect.
If I had respect I would not give a flying fuck about anything else.
I like my girlfriends parents. They like me too, which is good.
Last time my girlfriend came round my little brother (he's 8) said he wanted to join us on our sleepover and we said that he couldn't. So he said he was going to put a camera in my room, my mum overhears this and says "oh no don't do that; it'll be a bit of a blue film". She ain't stupid, she knows what goes on. After the first time she stayed round mine (it was late so I didn't let my mum know) my mum gave me this advice: "Whatever you do, don't get the girl pregnant".
[editline]9th December 2011[/editline]
I'm going to see her tomorrow, I'm very excite. She's asked me to bring my PS3 and LA Noire so we can solve mysteries in bed.
I like my boyfriend's parents. They don't mind if I stay over at all. And I turn up at all weird sorts of times.
Turn up at midnight, they only complain about the dogs barking.
My boyfriends even said that he was sure that they wouldn't mind if I moved in with him as long as I put some money in.
You lot are bloody lucky...
[QUOTE=Doozle;33639472]I like my girlfriends parents. They like me too, which is good.
Last time my girlfriend came round my little brother (he's 8) said he wanted to join us on our sleepover and we said that he couldn't. So he said he was going to put a camera in my room, my mum overhears this and says "oh no don't do that; it'll be a bit of a blue film". She ain't stupid, she knows what goes on. After the first time she stayed round mine (it was late so I didn't let my mum know) my mum gave me this advice: "Whatever you do, don't get the girl pregnant".
[editline]9th December 2011[/editline]
I'm going to see her tomorrow, I'm very excite. She's asked me to bring my PS3 and LA Noire so we can solve mysteries in bed.[/QUOTE]
Solving mysteries in bed rule! :v:
fun fact: the latin term for 'pulling out' is [I]coitus interruptus,[/I] which definitely should have been included as a spell in harry potter
It's not that I want to brag about it cause I don't. And it's nothing I feel proud of nor ashamed of either, but I've been with a lot of girls till now. The problem with all of them is that it never seemed to work any of the times. it usually took 3, max 4 months before the break up or the loss of interest. Sometimes I actually got to the point of actually having girlfriends but someone, after a while would lose interest.
Yet there's one common thing in my relationships. They all start to crumble after the first argument. It's weird, cause one little thing develops in a whole lots of problems. I always treated women like princecess and I always gave them their space since I like my space too. But it gets to the point where in most cases they lose interest and I feel that I can no longer please them anymore and everything I try seems to be useless.
All my friends tell me that my problem is that I always end up with girls that don't deserve me and that are not decent, and it's kinda true, but at the same time it's what I like and want to hear to feel good about myself, we all like to hear we were right during a breakup, right?
But my problem is that I sometimes I wonder if the problem is mine, you know. If it's me who don't have the ability or maturity to have a serious relationship and to keep it steady.
stop sleeping with slags
[editline]10th December 2011[/editline]
You've gotta find a decent girl.
My girlfriend's parents are highly religious catholics, so I most definitely couldn't stay over at her house even if my dad would allow me to. My dad's atheist, so religion doesn't play into it, but he won't allow me to spend the night with any people of the female variety, even if they're just my friends. He also shouted "whatcha doing up there?" when she was up in my room with me the last time she was over... I'm fairly sure he just likes trying to make me feel awkward.
Actually to back that up, I was watching porn and he came upstairs, with me barely getting the sheets over me and the tabs on my laptop hidden before he came in. He sat down on my bed and said "Whatcha doing?" with raised eyebrows. It's like he wants to catch me in the act. It was weird enough to only have some sheets on with my dad sitting on the bed next to me as I attempt to explain a blog that is my homepage (I pulled up a new page to look like I was doing something and that was the first thing that popped up).
Broke up with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years a month ago.
She's been with one of my friends for the past 2 weeks.
I keep telling myself I'm happy for them and I just want them to be happy, we still talk and are friends so I like that. But the thought of them being together upsets me. Sometimes I worry if I'm going to find someone again.
It's caused me to be diagnosed with insomnia and rely on sleeping pills for sleep.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;33650161]My girlfriend's parents are highly religious catholics, so I most definitely couldn't stay over at her house even if my dad would allow me to. My dad's atheist, so religion doesn't play into it, but he won't allow me to spend the night with any people of the female variety, even if they're just my friends. He also shouted "whatcha doing up there?" when she was up in my room with me the last time she was over... I'm fairly sure he just likes trying to make me feel awkward.
Actually to back that up, I was watching porn and he came upstairs, with me barely getting the sheets over me and the tabs on my laptop hidden before he came in. He sat down on my bed and said "Whatcha doing?" with raised eyebrows. It's like he wants to catch me in the act. It was weird enough to only have some sheets on with my dad sitting on the bed next to me as I attempt to explain a blog that is my homepage (I pulled up a new page to look like I was doing something and that was the first thing that popped up).[/QUOTE]
Parents can be really smothering with their excessive zeal. My parents are like that. When my ex came to sleep over, my parents made her sleep in a different bed. My mother is catholic, but here religion doesn't affect sex, I mean, we're not fundamentalists or anything. I'm a catholic too.
My parents grew up in very traditional families in northern villages. And in their time they were not allowed the freedoms we have today. So they kinda don't understand the "need" that I have to sleep in the same bed as my gf. They say they are afraid I could get her pregnant and that we'll spend the whole night having sex. They actually don't believe in that, because I feel they use those excuses to hide the weirdness they feel about something awkward like another strange girl sleeping in their only son's bed. On top of that they kinda know how disastrous has been my love life and I kinda see that they're trying to use that to protect me from hurting myself again or rushing things to another failed relationship.
However, those rules only apply to my house. I'm 20 now and I can do as I please and as long as I tell my parents where I am they let me sleep with whoever I want. But yeah, I kinda had to argue a lot with them to be given such liberties and I won them because I never gave them reasons to suspect me.
But yeah, my father used to be that smothering to me too. And we actually argued for years until he understood that I needed my space and that I didn't want to spend my private time in my house fearing my dad would rush in to see what I was doing.
And sometimes we have to "fight" with our parents as much as we love them for them to open their eyes too. We learn a lot from our old folks at home but they too learn a lot from us. And I thing you should talk to your father about that and struggle a bit for him to change that. It will take time, but it will work.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;33653853]However, those rules only apply to my house. I'm 20 now and I can do as I please and as long as I tell my parents where I am they let me sleep with whoever I want. But yeah, I kinda had to argue a lot with them to be given such liberties and I won them because I never gave them reasons to suspect me.[/QUOTE]
Your 20 and your parents still need to know where you are?
[QUOTE=Thoughtless;33653868]Your 20 and your parents still need to know where you are?[/QUOTE]
well, it's nice to know generally where a family member is, or at least what they're supposed to be doing
[editline]10th December 2011[/editline]
I mean like, my mum doesn't know that I high fived the pope last night, but she knows I'm at university
[QUOTE=Turnips5;33653897]well, it's nice to know generally where a family member is, or at least what they're supposed to be doing
[editline]10th December 2011[/editline]
I mean like, my mum doesn't know that I high fived the pope last night, but she knows I'm at university[/QUOTE]
He implied that it was in a lot more detail than knowing he's in uni.
[QUOTE=Thoughtless;33653868]Your 20 and your parents still need to know where you are?[/QUOTE]
They don't need that like it's the air they breathe. They just ask me to tell them since I still live in their place. Sometimes I don't tell them where I am and they don't mind that.
I just have nothing to hide from them, they trust me and let me mind my own business. What's so strange about that?
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;33657090]They don't need that like it's the air they breathe. They just ask me to tell them since I still live in their place. Sometimes I don't tell them where I am and they don't mind that.
I just have nothing to hide from them, they trust me and let me mind my own business. What's so strange about that?[/QUOTE]
I'm only speaking for myself here, but the way you said it brought up hilarious scenarios of your mother telling you you're grounded until you eat all your vegetables in my mind :v:
[QUOTE=chaz13;33657112]I'm only speaking for myself here, but the way you said it brought up hilarious scenarios of your mother telling you you're grounded until you eat all your vegetables in my mind :v:[/QUOTE]
Definitely not the case! :v:
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;33647665]It's not that I want to brag about it cause I don't. And it's nothing I feel proud of nor ashamed of either, but I've been with a lot of girls till now. The problem with all of them is that it never seemed to work any of the times. it usually took 3, max 4 months before the break up or the loss of interest. Sometimes I actually got to the point of actually having girlfriends but someone, after a while would lose interest.
Yet there's one common thing in my relationships. They all start to crumble after the first argument. It's weird, cause one little thing develops in a whole lots of problems. I always treated women like princecess and I always gave them their space since I like my space too. But it gets to the point where in most cases they lose interest and I feel that I can no longer please them anymore and everything I try seems to be useless.
All my friends tell me that my problem is that I always end up with girls that don't deserve me and that are not decent, and it's kinda true, but at the same time it's what I like and want to hear to feel good about myself, we all like to hear we were right during a breakup, right?
But my problem is that I sometimes I wonder if the problem is mine, you know. If it's me who don't have the ability or maturity to have a serious relationship and to keep it steady.[/QUOTE]
From what you've said it really just sounds like the girls around you aren't ideal for you. You sound like a mature and level-headed guy so I'm assuming your friends are telling you the truth. However it is still worth looking into yourself and finding any commonalities throughout all of your relationships and where/how they went wrong. You said that it often happens after an argument, so maybe you're dealing with issues like that in the wrong way, for example.
Really though, it just sounds like the girls you're dating are immature and naturally are going to feel unsatisfied as soon as the honey moon phase is over. The first argument is very much an indicator that that initial stage of infatuation is over, so it makes sense that things start going downhill after that.
Try not to worry too much about it. Just know that you're a decent guy and that eventually you will meet someone more worth your time.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;33657090]They don't need that like it's the air they breathe. They just ask me to tell them since I still live in their place. Sometimes I don't tell them where I am and they don't mind that.
I just have nothing to hide from them, they trust me and let me mind my own business. What's so strange about that?[/QUOTE]
I'm 19 and I don't need to tell my mother where I am all the time. She just wants to know that I'm safe.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;33657090]They don't need that like it's the air they breathe. They just ask me to tell them since I still live in their place. Sometimes I don't tell them where I am and they don't mind that.
I just have nothing to hide from them, they trust me and let me mind my own business. What's so strange about that?[/QUOTE]
I stopped telling my mom where I was when I was 17 and still lived at home because she trusted me (mainly because I didn't do anything to set her over the edge). College made it even easier to avoid having her know where I was every few hours because I was 10 miles away. She still asked every now and then when I lived at home/home for the holidays because she's my mom and she does care. That doesn't mean I want her to know everywhere I've been on an average day.
Unless your parents ask where you're going you really shouldn't tell them. I'd ween yourself off from doing this because it is in a way a sort of psychological dependence on them.
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