[QUOTE=Hana-San;33686236]As a female, I would never go out with a guy who would thought he could get away with making jokes about me. I would dump his dumb ass faster than I would a hot coal.[/QUOTE]
You can't take a joke?
uhh, have you guys never heard of Maslow's 5 basic human needs?
I'm pretty sure everyone on facepunch has their physical needs met, and their safety met, so the next need would be love and belonging
so yes, if you are interested in having a girlfriend, you [i]do[/i] "need" one. it's not such a strong need that you will die if you don't have one, but it is a need nonetheless
But you don't NEED a girlfriend for the purposes of making fun of her... Psychology? with your friends.
Pretty sure he meant physiology, what with the dirty joke part.
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;33684394]I am saying that I need a girlfriend because I do need a girlfriend. Why? Because:
- Tired of being alone really
- Having a girlfriend makes you 1 step forward in social
- Having a girlfriend will take my unused time
- Having a girlfriend makes you feel confident and sure about stuff you do, higher self estem, more productive social interactions with everybody
- I can meet my male friends and make dirty jokes about women psychology.
- All the media, social concidioning and all the stuff ScoutKing mentioned. I don't deny that affects me.[/QUOTE]
Getting a girlfriend isn't going to make you have extra self esteem, I'd be willing to bet that when (if) you ever go out with a girl, you'd spend the entire time thinking she's going to dump you. Admittedly she probably will if those are your reasons for going out with her, so maybe your lack of self esteem isn't unfounded.
Seriously though, you're about to be 16 (assuming you didn't lie on your profile) try not to worry about it so much, just try have fun at school (and also maybe learn some shit lol). My most fond memories of school was just fucking around with my friends when I was like 14 and 15.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;33691473]uhh, have you guys never heard of Maslow's 5 basic human needs?
I'm pretty sure everyone on facepunch has their physical needs met, and their safety met, so the next need would be love and belonging
so yes, if you are interested in having a girlfriend, you [i]do[/i] "need" one. it's not such a strong need that you will die if you don't have one, but it is a need nonetheless[/QUOTE]
You can obtain love and belonging with out being in a relationship.
It's just less practical in a way...
+ Muffin, what the hell.... "make fun of her psychology"
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;33693265]You can obtain love and belonging with out being in a relationship.
It's just less practical in a way...
+ Muffin, what the hell.... "make fun of her psychology"[/QUOTE]
the point isn't that you can find alternatives to having a girlfriend, it's that at the most basic level, you do need a girlfriend to be fulfilled (if that's what you're interested in)
Yeah, going by that hierarchy of needs he doesn't seem to primarily want to satisfy the need of love from the girl herself, seems more like he thinks getting a girlfriend will make him magically popular, and help him fit in which satisfies other needs on the hierarchy. Not that I think you can apply such a basic chart to all humans, however (well, not in a particular order, anyway)
yeah i dont agree with what he's saying, but I also don't agree with the multiple people in this thread saying "YOU. DONT. NEED. A. GIRLFRIEND"
that's a naive way to live life, thinking you can be perfectly happy by yourself when we have a biological urge to be with somebody
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;33684394]I am saying that I need a girlfriend because I do need a girlfriend. Why? Because:
- Tired of being alone really[/quote]
I'll give you that one.
[quote]- Having a girlfriend makes you 1 step forward in social[/quote]
No it doesn't.
[quote]- Having a girlfriend will take my unused time[/quote]
There's other solutions to that.
[quote]- Having a girlfriend makes you feel confident and sure about stuff you do, higher self estem, more productive social interactions with everybody[/quote]
Find something else that makes you confident. Like alcohol.
[quote]- I can meet my male friends and make dirty jokes about women psychology.[/quote]
I do that while single anyway..? Important of course not to insult anyone you know (So don't tell dirty jokes about women within earshot of one if you know her)
[quote]- All the media, social concidioning and all the stuff ScoutKing mentioned. I don't deny that affects me.[/QUOTE]
Doesn't matter.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;33693415]yeah i dont agree with what he's saying, but I also don't agree with the multiple people in this thread saying "YOU. DONT. NEED. A. GIRLFRIEND"
that's a naive way to live life, thinking you can be perfectly happy by yourself when we have a biological urge to be with somebody[/QUOTE]
You don't need a girlfriend 24/7 is my point.
AKA it's okay to be single now and then.
[QUOTE=Hana-San;33686236]As a female, I would never go out with a guy who would thought he could get away with making jokes about me. I would dump his dumb ass faster than I would a hot coal.[/QUOTE]
Really? Because I guarantee every guy you've dated and every guy you will date in the future will joke about you occasionally. It's not a spiteful thing, everyone does it. All the girls in relationships that I know joke about their partners too.
If you feel pathetic and lackluster without a girlfriend, all you'll end up doing is offputing it onto her, and it'll just be a terrible mess.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;33691473]uhh, have you guys never heard of Maslow's 5 basic human needs?
I'm pretty sure everyone on facepunch has their physical needs met, and their safety met, so the next need would be love and belonging
so yes, if you are interested in having a girlfriend, you [i]do[/i] "need" one. it's not such a strong need that you will die if you don't have one, but it is a need nonetheless[/QUOTE]
it really isn't even a need to have a romantic partner at all anymore, you can be perfectly happy without one, eg Tesla
so trying to get a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend is the wrong attitude
imo if the fact that you have no life otherwise, or have unused time factors into you wanting a girlfriend at all you'll probably end up being pretty needy
get your own life first then get a girlfriend
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;33696743]it really isn't even a need to have a romantic partner at all anymore, you can be perfectly happy without one, eg Tesla
so trying to get a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend is the wrong attitude[/QUOTE]
but this kid clearly wants a girlfriend anyway
its not just for the sake of having one
It's even worse than getting one for the sake of having one, all of his reasons are completely selfish and don't really have anything to do with a longing for love and belonging at all. I agree with what you're saying though but like you've already said, it isn't relevant in this kid's situation.
^ and here i thought the point of the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thingie is finding someone to love and care about
I'VE BEEN DOING THIS WRONG ALL ALONG GOSH
Why do women not understand that it comes to a point of them nagging and wanting attention that we don't give a fuck, we have our own things to do as well :suicide:
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;33696743]it really isn't even a need to have a romantic partner at all anymore, you can be perfectly happy without one, [b]eg Tesla[/b][/QUOTE]
Yep. All we have to do is nurse wounded pigeons back to health and start referring to one as our wife.
Pigeons can't say no.
([i]I wouldn't take social cues from Tesla, even if he was one of the most awesome guys I've ever known about.[/i])
tesla was definitely not normal and happy
[editline]13th December 2011[/editline]
being incredibly brilliant has nothing to do with having a girlfriend
If you cling on a relationship just to keep yourself emotionally stable, It will never work. I tell you that much.
People love people they respect instead of people that are needy and always down. No girlfriend or boyfriend is going to tolerate having a partner that needs a partner like the air they breathe. I couldn't deal with that in a relationship, as much as I liked the other person, if she was the type that "I can't live without you!" or "If you break up with me I don't no what to do!", a person who acts like that and isn't able to find confidence in himself will never be able to maintain a serious relationship because that's not a very mature attitude towards a relationship.
Everybody hates to have a partner that can't move by himself, that always acts like a ball in a chain and forces us to carry them around. A relationship consists in 2 people moving on with their lives together instead of 2 people stooping in time in a never ending boring loop of hugs, kisses and small talk.
That's the reason when someone comes to me with this conversation "I'm really depressed, I need a girlfriend" I always tell people: "In that state you'll never get far in a relationship" and IT'S TRUE. A relationship doesn't consist in being always and always there for each other. Obviously we all like to hear kind words and like to comfort our partners when they are down, but we also have to be confident to make the other person feel safe in the relationship and feel that he/she has a strong partner, instead of one that's too depressed to wipe his own butt.
That's why I tell people over and over: Girls only look at boys that are happy, feel good, and are kind even when they are alone. Nobody likes to feel like an anti-depressant pill in a relationship. And a person who needs a girlfriend to feel good is a person who's going to ask a lot from her while sitting back and doing nothing. It's no walk in a park to be in a relationship. It requires emotional well being and a more acurate perception about how our actions affect others and our partner. It requires awareness and it requires transmitting safety and confidence to our significant other through our own safety and confidence.
And that's why I tell people that depressed and lazy people will never go far in a relationship. They could get to a hook up or two, then they'll start falling in love with the first girl that gives them attention, they go for a ride and it's over. You'll only hurt yourselves more by choosing to have a girl just because you need it and want that feeling immediately by thinking in short term.
Trust me, I've been there more than once and done that. My love life has had enough experimenting of the sort to know that this is true.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;33691473]uhh, have you guys never heard of Maslow's 5 basic human needs?
I'm pretty sure everyone on facepunch has their physical needs met, and their safety met, so the next need would be love and belonging
so yes, if you are interested in having a girlfriend, you [i]do[/i] "need" one. it's not such a strong need that you will die if you don't have one, but it is a need nonetheless[/QUOTE]
Maslow's hierarchy was just speculative pseudoscience and should be taken with a grain of salt.
Of course you have the same need/want issues as all others, as well.
[editline]14th December 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Flem;33706616]Why do women not understand that it comes to a point of them nagging and wanting attention that we don't give a fuck, we have our own things to do as well :suicide:[/QUOTE]
You should tell your mum that want your own space because you're not a little boy anymore.
[editline]14th December 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;33696173]Really? Because I guarantee every guy you've dated and every guy you will date in the future will joke about you occasionally. It's not a spiteful thing, everyone does it. All the girls in relationships that I know joke about their partners too.[/QUOTE]
If someone made a lol she bleeds out her cunt how gross lol joke about me I'd break up with their house and set them on fire.
Of course, I'd also be supporting a few stereotypes about crazy women. (it's okay though I'm not a girl so instead of being crazy I'm just masculine and assertive)
Yayyyy. I just got dumped yesterday. Man I feel great.
wait, no that's nausea.
-sigh-
the solution to your nausea is gin and casual sex.
you're welcome.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;33716592]Yayyyy. I just got dumped yesterday. Man I feel great.
wait, no that's nausea.
-sigh-[/QUOTE]
Sometimes the wisdom you seek is on the internet:
[IMG]http://filmshank.com/wp-content/gallery/gallery-9/disregard.jpg[/IMG]
I don't know how well it applies to anyone else, but after about four failed relationships and one that's been going for three years rock-solid; I think I've nailed one of the most important rules of a relationship down.
And that is: [U]Never compromise who you are.[/U]
Seriously, I learned this shit the hard way and had some rough break-ups. If you can't be yourself around the woman (or man), then it won't work. Said person is someone you're going to be around, a damned lot. You can't hold up a fake personality for as long as you think, no matter how well it was working in the beginning. And by being yourself, I mean all the crazy stupid shit too. If you don't think you can do all your normal acts around girlfriend (boyfriend), then you may want to get looking again. Of course, it's never going to be a perfect match; and it's always good to have some different tastes here and there, but all in all, you both should be very relaxed and 'at home' around one another. I can be looking at porn and discussing my view on current scientific news at the same time; and my significant other treats it as a normal god damn day - and usually joins me in it.
Today is my 22 month(1 year and 10 months) anniversary with my girlfriend. We started dating February 15th 2010. I have noticed that we get on each others nerves a lot more than we used to, but at the same time I am still so madly in love with her. It's hard to explain. It's like I can't stand her sometimes, but at the same time I love her to death. I can't imagine my life without her, but I'm a pessimist so I always think about my future and I can see me living alone with no one.
I always try to do the best I can to make her happy, but I think I'm depressed, I always feel down all the time. I feel like it is making her hate me more and more. Sometimes I feel like she just comes over for the sex and what not, because we always do that then she passes out or something. We don't go on as many dates as we used to. I'm so afraid of losing her it's killing me inside. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, I want to die at an old age next to someone I love. Not alone.
I dunno, maybe I am worrying to much, like I always do. But like I said it seems as though I can't make her happy like I used to be able to, she swears she loves me and that I make her happy, and I don't see her having any interest in other men. It really just confuses me and makes me upset, anyone have any advice they could share that could possibly make me feel better? I would appreciate it greatly.
[QUOTE=woOt_5000;33731150]Today is my 22 month(1 year and 10 months) anniversary with my girlfriend. We started dating February 15th 2010. I have noticed that we get on each others nerves a lot more than we used to, but at the same time I am still so madly in love with her. It's hard to explain. It's like I can't stand her sometimes, but at the same time I love her to death. I can't imagine my life without her, but I'm a pessimist so I always think about my future and I can see me living alone with no one.
I always try to do the best I can to make her happy, but I think I'm depressed, I always feel down all the time. I feel like it is making her hate me more and more. Sometimes I feel like she just comes over for the sex and what not, because we always do that then she passes out or something. We don't go on as many dates as we used to. I'm so afraid of losing her it's killing me inside. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, I want to die at an old age next to someone I love. Not alone.
I dunno, maybe I am worrying to much, like I always do. But like I said it seems as though I can't make her happy like I used to be able to, she swears she loves me and that I make her happy, and I don't see her having any interest in other men. It really just confuses me and makes me upset, anyone have any advice they could share that could possibly make me feel better? I would appreciate it greatly.[/QUOTE]
If it's making you truly and continuously upset then you could talk to her about it. Don't make it a big deal but just ask her how she's feeling about everything? I don't think anything will make you feel better other than seeing how she feels or if you have depression, sorting out what you see as the problems in your life.
If nothing else, you're doing a pretty awesome job at sex if she passes out after.
Getting really sleepy after sex affects men and women.
otherwise everything mlisen said
Wait, it depends. Does 'pass out' mean literally faint, or just fall asleep?
Contrary to popular opinion, women definitely do fall asleep after sex - not just guys. It's related to the hormones that are released after sexual activity, particularly if it results in orgasm.
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