• Help me change my life
    129 replies, posted
Just be more out going. And remember, be SUPER confident but also remain self aware (don't act like a jackass to get attention). I'm intelligent, attractive and socially balanced. But I don't act coincided. Don't be too clingy, once you've got some friends don't get too excited while talking to them (If you're in a hurry just say hi, smile and tell them exactly why you're too busy to chat). I've always been a popular person, but I've never gotten a girlfriend so I don't know what advise to give you there (in my case I am very effeminate and a bit shy. Even though I make friends with girls I find attractive easily, I'm a terrible flirt and most of the girls I have a lot in common with are 5+ years older than me). Also, you don't have to be a party person to hang out with the "cool kids". Find other activities to do, but stay away from parties (unless you're just hanging out with a few BFF's and watching a movie). You want to become popular based on your uniqueness, not on social behavior alone. Oh and take a vocabulary class. It helps you're conversations stand out from the rest of the crowd. Watching a sport or popular television series can also help when talking to people. Last of all, remember, be yourself. Don't follow the crowd because in the end you're only cheating yourself. And 20 minutes a day to make yourself look good goes a long way.
[QUOTE=LukeWilliams;21742943]Just talk to them, grow sme fling balls[/QUOTE] Posts like this grow me fling balls.
Get a gun.
getting into the popular group is fucking piss easy and it just takes 1 summer of work. 1. Go to the gym. Get muscle. 2. Play a sport; football, rugby etc 3. Dress in fashion 4. worm your way into their group by befriending 1 of them and becoming good enough friends with him/her during the summer that you can talk to him/her at school while theyre stood the 'group' you want to get in with. They'll start talking to you but prepare to take abuse and have sharp comebacks. Problem is, you need to know when to stay quiet and laugh along and when to make a comeback. Generally, the 'top' members of the group you ndont want to take the piss out of when they take the piss out of you. If a 'lower' member of the group tries to make fun of you to further his position in the group, own him. Its like a dog pack. 5. watch match of the day so you can talk about the football OPTIONAL: Host a house party when youve managed to get into the group but early on. make sure it doesnt suck. [editline]09:57AM[/editline] oh, and smell good
Don't be a pussy, try being and outgoing guy, everybody loves energetic people.
Whatever you do, don't try to be someone you're not - that only leads to problems later. Just be friendly, don't try too hard. If you're going to college, you can start your image all over again there. And if you're going to college, you're more likely to meet people of your type.
Take up a hobby, do something that is absolutely awesome and will make you the most interesting person in your group of friends. Your friends will then, hopefully, want to invite you to do other things. That' s where you will meet new people. As for hobbies, I looked at my life, I wanted to be an engineer before, but not I'm pursuing a life of art. Artists are usually more interesting than any other profession out there. But I'm not saying become an artist, I don't know you well enough, but look into new hobbies that spark your interest.
I am in the same situation, but do you know what the difference between us is? Confidence.
OP I hate to break it to you. But we are all in the group. That is why we go on facepunch. Be with the people you truly wish to be with. Dont let the fact that they are more popular or better looking or anything like that effect your decision.
I don't know what country you're from but at 16 I assume you're in your last year of high school? Just letting you know that when you're older, these high school cliques don't exist anymore. I'll admit they semi did in sixth form (age 17 - 18), but now at university, there is no such thing. This is in the UK anyway. People just mature and most people stop caring about who's "cooler" and more about who's good as a person.
Wow, this thread really gives you perspective. There is only 16 if us in our class and everyone is awesome.
[QUOTE=darcy010;21770816]OP I hate to break it to you. But we are all in the group. That is why we go on facepunch. Be with the people you truly wish to be with. Dont let the fact that they are more popular or better looking or anything like that effect your decision.[/QUOTE] im not in youre pathetic nerd group speak for yourself
[QUOTE=darcy010;21770816]OP I hate to break it to you. But we are all in the group. That is why we go on facepunch.[/QUOTE] I don't think so
[QUOTE=Akilla;21744849]I'm willing to try marijuana actually, though I wouldn't know where to get any.[/QUOTE] Ah, i had the same problem, i still do to be honest, but this isnt drug discussion. if you willing to ditch your friends for social status, then they cant really be good friends. [editline]02:44PM[/editline] [QUOTE=darcy010;21770816]OP I hate to break it to you. But we are all in the group. That is why we go on facepunch. Be with the people you truly wish to be with. Dont let the fact that they are more popular or better looking or anything like that effect your decision.[/QUOTE] True...ish... yeah.....................
Get off Facepunch and do something about it.
[QUOTE=Akilla;21742866] tl;dr a friend made a counterstrike map of the school, got arrested.[/QUOTE] you say wat?
How did he got arrested for making a css map? :confused: Actually i read it.
[QUOTE=Akilla;21742866]Hello facepunch, I have been lurking around for the last few days, and I've decided to ask for advice here, since I have nothing to lose I guess. Although this is my first post, please bear with me. My name is Zack, and for all of my 16 years of life, there is something that I have never actually cared about, being "popular", "cool" or even accepted, and I was happy with my small group of friends. Well, I'm sick of them now. Sick of who I am. My eyes have been opened, and the truth is blinding. I'm a loser to the eyes of my schoolmates (note, I never thought that I was popular or anything, I just thought that I was "there", you know?) Why were my eyes opened, you ask? Well, to make a long story short, a girl, who I begun talking to about 4 months ago. She's beautiful, lovely, etc. I asked her out (because I never thought that I was THAT bad), and she said no. I was crushed, as you may imagine. This got me thinking, "why would she say no? she has shown some interest, we had fun together talking and whatnot, and I'm not bad looking at all." and then I realized. No matter how much we like each other (if she liked me that way at all), someone as popular as her wouldn't be with a loser like me. I started analyzing 'why' I could be considered a loser, and what I saw I did not like. I'm quiet, you never see me outside school (and if you do see me at school, you probably don't notice). SO, I decided to change. This year I have been slowly but surely changing my ways, trying to talk to random people, and they actually seem to accept me, which makes me happy. There is still a lot of things to change, though. But, as much as I hate to say this, since it makes me a huge asshole, the main thing that is holding me back is my current group of friends, which is probably the lowest on the social spectrum of my school. Holy shit, I cannot stand them anymore. I just can't stand them, the things they do and say. We've grown apart I guess. Here is where this huge mind-clusterfuck begins for me. What the fuck do I do. Do I stay with my current group of friends, which bores the bejesus out of me, or do I try and 'force myself' into the more popular groups? I'm already friends with some of the popular people, singularly I get along with them just fine, but as soon as they begin hanging on a table or something I don't know how to approach them, since I feel like I'm an outsider, and that they won't like me there since I don't belong there. The excuse that I used to make about the more popular kids and why I didn't like them was that they were assholes, that they judged me and shit. i realized that I was judging them as well, and that the things that they did that "makes them assholes" I do to others as well, so I'm no different. NOTE: I'm not trying to change myself for them, nor am I conforming. I just want to break out of this cage, it didn't seem to bother me before. I also know that my realization of me being a loser is based on overannalayzing, but it made me realize that I hate my current life and I needed to change, so I guess it was a good thing. tl;dr a friend made a counterstrike map of the school, got arrested. Also, I realize my social life sucks, I hate the image everyone seems to have on for me, and I guess I want to be popular now.[/QUOTE] If the girl liked you at all, she wouldnt be bothered by how 'popular' you are. This seems more like a self confidence crisis than anything else. From somebody who had a similar dilemma, dont believe that getting into the other groups is going to make you feel much better about your life situation. However, if you have grown apart from your other friends, no harm can be done by hanging with the other people you know. If you dont try with them, youll never be part of a different friendship group from the one you have currently. Its not one or the other though, it can be done in a balanced way. Ditching one group for 'popularity' will make you look like an idiot.
It takes a little unanswered love to start thinking like OP, and so many others. I know what it's like.
I am you, OP. I am bored out of my mind with friends these days, maybe I'm just being a dick? no i love my friends for ever.
I'm 16 too, and since I was about 13 I've changed several times. At first I didn't care what I looked like or anything and was really shy. I had "loser friends" as well. After a while I just started to hang out with the more popular people, I started talking to anyone, and caring more what I looked like. I guess I was popular, or at least the popular people said I was cool and invited me to hang out and stuff. But then I stopped caring about popularity, and only changed because I felt like it. My personality has pretty much stayed the same, only my style and interests etc. has changed. After I've changed all these times, I feel much better about myself. I feel like I have more or less figured out what sort of person I want to be, so I guess my point is- if you really badly feel like you need a change in your life, then go for it. If it feels wrong you could always change some more, until you find the right "you". And always look out for REAL friends, that care about you.
I find the first step is admitting you yourself are too critical of people an dare the equivalent of a dick. Anyway, when I moved to my new school I had no friends. All the people I knew where not my sort of people. And so I made friends with a guy I met in PE. I joined his form, worked my way in to the click. Now Everyone knows my name, And I get invited to all the parties. Also, A lot of people will try and take the piss. All they want to do is further their own popularity and social standing. As said above own them. And then? Own them again. Make sure they don't want to mess with you again. Once you have shown a weakness, everyone's opinion of you will wither and die. So, I hope I helped. Good luck!
Just slowly talk to the cooler people little by little. Eventually you'll drift over to them and your old friends can be uncool without you.
Get expelled from your school, that instantly makes you a bad ass.
[QUOTE=WelshTed;21775402]Get expelled from your school, that instantly makes you a bad ass.[/QUOTE] Worked for me when i knocked somebody out with a wooden chair :v: Not that that was the intention...
Ever think she just didn't care for you in a way that you wanted her to think of you as, got pissed, off and now you say it has something to do with social status. What I think is that you can't take rejection. Ever think of that. :psylon:
You can't change your life if people already have you labeled as that weird kid, just wait for college
It's going to be very hard to change what you have been doing for years on end. It's going to take a lot of work and a lot of patience to change your ways. Just observe what other people do, find idols, and work your hardest to be like them. If you don't want an idol and you want to be 'yourself' then learn how to be a gentleman and how to properly communicate with various types of people (including girls). Again it's going to take a lot of time and a lot of work, but don't give up! I was in the same boat, but after many years I've become a better person. It also helps if you get out and help in the community. I am an Eagle Scout and that's changed me a lot more than anything.
Nice job on the tl;dr :v:
Why not be a misanthropic prick like the rest of us?
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