• Have you ever been caught?
    165 replies, posted
Wait, is/was megaupload.no a porn site? How have I never typo'd my way there before?
[QUOTE=PredGD;40787088]Wait, is/was megaupload.no a porn site? How have I never typo'd my way there before?[/QUOTE] No idea, but I was scared as fuck when it happened. (2 years ago... Still up, but fixed so it's a redericting site now.)
Never caught, but damn close. I mastured (ha ha ha) the art of putting it away and clicking away in short notice. People need to learn to fucking knock. The whole "Lock your door" thing is stupid because it's so obvious you're doing something you shouldn't be doing if your door is locked when it normally isn't even shut.
[QUOTE=mcbubba;40795466]Never caught, but damn close. I mastured (ha ha ha) the art of putting it away and clicking away in short notice. People need to learn to fucking knock. The whole "Lock your door" thing is stupid because it's so obvious you're doing something you shouldn't be doing if your door is locked when it normally isn't even shut.[/QUOTE] It's obvious when you lock it but when you lock it all the time it's not obvious. I did that and they never suspect a thing. Not sure if it's worse or better, but everytime I lock my door now my mother freaks out and thinks I'm attempting suicide. :v:
I'm going to make my kids a sign to hang on their door. There's no point being bashful about it, we all knock one out from time to time. In the words of the Australian poet Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson: If you say you don't wank you're a liar, And a fool if you say that you do. So the next time you see Prince Charles on TV remember he wanked himself too.
Yeah, it's a human tendency. I don't see why most parents are nazis when it comes to stuff like this. It's the same as throwing up, we can't help it, it's an impulse.
Never. On an 8 year streak now.
[QUOTE=Samg381;40797028]Yeah, it's a human tendency. I don't see why most parents are nazis when it comes to stuff like this. It's the same as throwing up, we can't help it, it's an impulse.[/QUOTE] I call it doing a number 3.
showed my mother a video on YT. realized after she walked out that I had another tab of the Hot Girls thread fuck me
[QUOTE=Soleeedus;40798596]showed my mother a video on YT. realized after she walked out that I had another tab of the Hot Girls thread fuck me[/QUOTE] Is it possible she didn't see it? I mean, if she didn't say anything, unless she has a tendency to just keep quiet about that sort of thing, Is it possible that she simply didn't notice?
I hope so
I remember I was sacking off laying in bed. I had the TV on. And my mom had just walked out into the living room to get her stuff because she was leaving. Just as I was about to cum she walked back into the room to tell me something, I forget what. Right as she walked in I let go of my wang and I tried to stop it but I came and I'm just laying there in an awkward wack-off position trying to not make it obvious thag im cumming in my pants while she's telling me where she's going or whatever. Another time when I was aloud to have a computer in my room (before my mom found out I watch porn) I was jackin it. And at the time I wasn't aloud to close my door so it was wide open. I have porn on my screen and I'm goin at it and she walks in and I put my dick in my pants and switch the tab an she was like what was that picture and I was like idk it was a pop up and she was like no what was it and I was like it was a pop up! And then she had my uncle check my Internet history and boom. Computers been in the kitchen for a while now
[QUOTE=falloutguy;40804852]I remember I was sacking off laying in bed. I had the TV on. And my mom had just walked out into the living room to get her stuff because she was leaving. Just as I was about to cum she walked back into the room to tell me something, I forget what. Right as she walked in I let go of my wang and I tried to stop it but I came and I'm just laying there in an awkward wack-off position trying to not make it obvious thag im cumming in my pants while she's telling me where she's going or whatever. Another time when I was aloud to have a computer in my room (before my mom found out I watch porn) I was jackin it. And at the time I wasn't aloud to close my door so it was wide open. I have porn on my screen and I'm goin at it and she walks in and I put my dick in my pants and switch the tab an she was like what was that picture and I was like idk it was a pop up and she was like no what was it and I was like it was a pop up! And then she had my uncle check my Internet history and boom. Computers been in the kitchen for a while now[/QUOTE] I never will understand why some parents have some kind of phobia of porn. I know my parents know I watch it, they don't give a fuck.
Reminds me of a few years back. My step father had this internet filter installed on my PC so I wouldn't go and watch porn. And luckily for me, I was sick and was at my mothers computer. A wild idea struck me so I decided I'd watch some porn on that. But then after watching it I realized something. How do I delete the internet history in internet explorer? I didn't know at the time as I had never used internet explorer that much, so I panicked and managed to delete all history in the web browser, including cookies and passwords. So my step father noticed and asked me if I had deleted the history, so I did what every man would say. "Uhm, no...?" Later the same day when I had set for bed, he yelled out in the entire apartment. "Don't watch porn again, understand?!" Obviously he had checked the log on the control panel of the internet we had. So embarrassing.
Once we were in a school trip, and when we were in the hotel, a guy took a laptop from a friend's bag and went to his room. Later, we found in the night table a lot of white cream. He said it was Cif (Jif).
Not really an embarrassing story for me but when I went on a band trip to New Orleans, my friend who stayed in another room found a tube of lube under his bed after we came back from a day of sightseeing the city. The tube wasn't there that morning...
[QUOTE=PredGD;40807326] Later the same day when I had set for bed, he yelled out in the entire apartment. "Don't watch porn again, understand?!" Obviously he had checked the log on the control panel of the internet we had. So embarrassing.[/QUOTE] GG
I've never been "caught" but I'm pretty sure my parents know about it. Earlier this year I was feeling my chest get really heavy and it would feel strange to breathe so I went to the hospital like 4 times to get it checked out. When I was there one time, there was my normal female doctor and a guy assistant which I thought was strange because I've never seen him before. Anyway, the woman doctor and my mom went outside the room and the assistant started asking me questions. He asked if I've ever masturbated. (At that point I almost cracked up laughing, he said it with a straight face looking into my eyes). Of course I said, "a couple times' which we all know is a lie and after that everyone came back in. When my mom and I were in the car she asked me what he asked me. So I awkwardly told her without telling her my answer and she said, "Oh, because when I was in the hall she told me said, "Teenage boys get a little "excited" sometimes.". We never did find out what was causing those chest problems. I think it's just lack of sleep.
[quote=tinman]Not really an embarrassing story for me but when I went on a band trip to New Orleans, my friend who stayed in another room found a tube of lube under his bed after we came back from a day of sightseeing the city. The tube wasn't there that morning...[/quote] I was on a band trip to New Orleans a little less than two months ago. I made a point to masutrbate in the bathroom while I was alone so I was never caught. But I did sit naked in my chair to screw with my roommates.
I posted the story in the Embarrassing Stories thread before, but I'll repost cause I can't find it. It was a late night, I wasn't planning on sleeping because I'd just downed a cup of coffee. My door didn't have a working lock, and I had meant to replace it. But for the time being, I just relied on my heavy as shit trash can stopping the door should somebody try to enter. Well, on this late night I decided to crack a few out before trying to go to sleep. I load up 4chan and start perusing the /s/ and /gif/ boards. I'm about to finish when my door flies open, throwing my trash bin across the room. It creates quite the noise so naturally I freak out, zip up my pants, and turn off my monitor with lightning fast speed. Standing in the door was none other than my cousin, she'd been staying the night at our place. "What were you doing before I came in?" she asked. "Reading something about the new Silent Hill game" "Oh, cool." she says, while walking toward my computer and me. "Let me see." Defcon 3 "Oh, it's nothing really interesting. Just something about the unreal engine" "Nice, can I take a look?" Defcon 2 "Can't wait to play it, maybe it'll be better than Homecoming." She reaches for the monitor and just as her finger touches the button to turn it on, I push her hand out of the way. "[name here], what was that for? I just wanna look!" she pushes me out of the chair, and I get up to push her out of it. In no time I'm fighting her to secure the PC. She subdues me by threatening to punch me in the balls. Defcon 1. All stations stand by to evacuate the country. She pushes the button and my screen flickers to life, displaying a .gif of some girl exposing herself on webcam. She looks at it for a few seconds, and then looks to me, puts 2 and 2 together, and realizes what just happened. She stands up, and walks out, but not before laughing at my futile attempt to keep my activities a secret. To this day she still bothers me about it, I never hear the end of it. That's my story.
Heard this one down the pub after a few rounds: Guy was listening to music / porn (I assume) he was jerking off eyes closed with his nan downstairs. He finishes and opens his eyes on the table next to him is a cup of tea and cake. Jesus help him.
[QUOTE=Boss;40829549]Heard this one down the pub after a few rounds: Guy was listening to music / porn (I assume) he was jerking off eyes closed with his nan downstairs. He finishes and opens his eyes on the table next to him is a cup of tea and cake. Jesus help him.[/QUOTE] This story is older than the sperm that created the person who made it.
[QUOTE=MazerRackham;40798418]I call it doing a number 3.[/QUOTE] And so it received a new name.
[QUOTE=jbthekid;40844900]And so it received a new name.[/QUOTE] I thought 3 was for diarrhea though.
[QUOTE=Ice Tea;40844916]I thought 3 was for diarrhea though.[/QUOTE] I consider all shits a number 2.
I didn't know it was bad at the time, I was pretty young and my step dad saw me. Then my mom got pissed off and angry at me and was a total-ass bitch all day. god I hate parents.
I was pounding my meat stick pretty hard until my mum walked in, next minute she went white as a ghost!
I was once jacking it and my sister literally came into the room 3 times in 2 minutes. I didn't get caught but it was too many close shaves than I'm comfortable with.
It was really awkward when my uncle's roommate walked in.
I was fapping and my soul walked in the room. My penis fell off and my soul stepped on it. The soul soon physically manifested into my own body while my flesh deteriorated. My consciousness was born again and I choked in a razor blade to escape my inevitable fate, or rather lack thereof. [editline]31st May 2013[/editline] My name is Earl.
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