Post jokes here(racist,disgusting,stupid,smart,logical etc) V2
209 replies, posted
A Black man is alone in the desert and about to die of thirst.
He falls to his knees and begs for god to help him.
Suddenly God appears infront of him and says: "I will grant you three wishes."
The black man says: "I want to be white, have lots of water and a lot of pussy!"
[sp]god turns him into a bidet[/sp]
Who told the gorilla that he couldn't go to the prom?
The people in charge of that decision.
I might be lated for this but I don't know.
What's wrong with 4 black guys driving an Escalade off a cliff?
[sp]They were my friends.[/sp]
[QUOTE=MrFishcake;36595047]Where did you find these and where can i find more[/QUOTE]
/b/
have more:
[img]http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/217849_323310421078174_1397190315_n.jpg[/img]
I tried talking to God last night, I think I'm getting the silent treatment.
Dear God, why couldn't you make Christians more literate? [sp]Amen.[/sp]
Why couldn't the Christian find the bible in the bookstore? [sp]They didn't check the fiction section[/sp]
How many Christians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [sp] They don't need them, God said let there be light.[/sp]
Do you know what Greek money tastes like? [sp] Neither do they. [/sp]
What's faster than a black man with a TV? [sp] His cousin with the VCR [/sp] Faster? [sp] A Jew with a coupon. [/sp] Faster? [sp] The truck he's on to Aushwitz. [/sp] Faster? [sp] Two dozen Mexicans crossing the American border right now. [/sp] Faster? [sp] Border Patrol chasing them down[/sp] Faster? [sp] Two jets ramming into the WTC [/sp]
Little Johnny has always wanted to be a fireman. As he grew up, he assimilated it into his life as much as he could... He read all the firemen books from his school library, he watched anything about firemen he could find on TV.
One day there was a small kitchen fire in his home. He recalled all that he learned from the books and got his family out to safety. Nobody got hurt, and not much damage was done. When the firemen got there to report on the incident, they were so proud of little Johnny. So proud, in fact, that they decided to reward him by spending the day with him.
They drove him around in the firetruck. They even let him play with the sirens a bit.
After driving around for a bit, they brought him back to the firehouse, where they discovered that their dalmatian had just had puppies. As a reward for his good work, the firemen gave Little Johnny a dalmatian puppy to bring home, as well as a little fireman's jacket and helmet.
The firemen dropped Little Johnny off at home later that day. He burst in the door... Happiest kid you've ever seen, huge smile on his face. He ran up to his mom, wearing his fireman suit and holding his new dalmatian puppy and said "Mommy, mommy, I definitely want to be a fireman when I grow up!"
[sp]"But you won't grow up," she said. "You have leukemia."[/sp]
What did the blind boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
[sp]Cancer[/sp]
Q: "How long does it take a hamster to explode in the microwave?"
A: "I don't know, I was too busy masturbating."
[QUOTE=LarparNar;36606219]What did the blind boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
[sp]Cancer[/sp][/QUOTE]
What do you call the entire black population on land?
[sp]Pollution.[/sp]
What do you call the entire black population under water?
[sp]Solution.[/sp]
For fucks sake, there's the biggest smelliest nigger reading every wor
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a gun
[sp]Get in my fuckin van[/sp]
So Bas was talking to Rick one day.
Bas said "Can I have some movies from you Rick?"
Rick then said "I can give you Cinderella, and I can give you Snow-white"
"But" Rick said:
[sp]I am never going to give you Up![/sp]
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing, they were stuck up bitches.
What time is it for a black guy?
[sp]Jail Time[/sp]
Where does Kagome clean her clothes?
[sp]Inu-washa[/sp]
What's brown, sticky, and insulting?
[sp]Choc-On-A-Stick![/sp]
What do you call a key inside the monastery?
[sp]monkey[/sp]
How do the wolves ask others if they are well?
[sp]Haruuuuu[/sp]
I guess that's all for now.
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
[sp]One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways.[/sp]
What do you get when you throw a penny in a blender
[sp]jewce[/sp]
I may or may not have posted this before
Oh I got one:
What is a rich Jew in the holocaust called?
[sp]A golden Shower[/sp]
So a Protestant priest, a Catholic priest and Jewish rabbi discuss how they share their wealth with the Lord.
The Protestant priest says "I draw a circle on the ground and throw the money in the air. What lands in the circle is God's"
The Catholic priest says "I draw a square. What lands in there is for the Lord"
The Jewish rabbi says "I draw a circle AND square on the ground. What God takes he can keep and what lands is mine"
Bonus: Why are Jew's noses so big?
[sp]Because air is free[/sp]
And no, I am not anti-Semitic. I just find them really funny :v:
What's the difference between boyscouts and Jews?
[sp]boy scouts walk out of the camp alive[/sp]
My mate called round earlier. "I didn't know you had a dog," he said.
"Yeah, we got him about a week ago. Poor little sod had been abandoned."
"Abandoned?" He said, "Who'd abandon a friendly little fella like him?"
"Makes you wonder doesn't it," I replied, "But some cruel bastard had just left him tied to a post outside the supermarket."
This may be risky, but:
Colorado has a killer 3D version of The Dark Knight Rises!
Q: what is a brazilian's favorite undiscovered and most likely impossible chemical element?
A: element 619
you'll probably need JohnnyMo1 to explain this retarded joke I spontaneously came up with
What'd the little black kid get for christmas?
[sp]My bike.[/sp]
Two jews walk into a bar
[sp] they buy it[/sp]
A bear, and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, and the bear turns to the rabbit and says: "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" and the rabbit says no. So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
Roses are red
violets are red
the grass is red
HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE.
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium.
What do you call a pirate that can't do maths?
Sinebad.
I didn't know that a Princess was an elected position, but Diana was all over the poll.
Personal favorites:
A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The Barman says "God, that thing is beautiful, where did you get it?", and the parrot responds "Africa."
What looks best on a black man?
A doberman.
What's the best three years of a black's life?
Eighth grade.
What's the most confusing day for blacks?
Father's day.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
My most favorite: A skeleton walks in to a bar and orders a drink.
Q: Whats the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
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