• Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v4
    1,436 replies, posted
[email]facepunchconfessions@googlemail.com[/email] Mail your confessions to that address! All confessions are kept anonymous. You have a secret fetish? Maybe you have a silly habit? Do you do weird things when you're alone? Get that weight off of your shoulders and send an email! It doesn't have to be rude. I'll post the email for everyone's entertainment and fascination! :siren:[b][highlight]HANDY HINTS[/b][/highlight]:siren: I can't see your email address unless I click a button to show it. Even then I doubt I will recognise your email address, so the chance of me knowing who you are is slim. I post confessions in batches of 10. I won't post the confession if it is: [list][*]Too short [*]Stupid [*]Racist [*]Hate against a member of FP [*]Dumb[/list] [b]>>>> I will NEVER post your email address and I will never include your username, even if you ask <<<<[/b] This is an anonymous confessional. Here are a few left over in the account from last time: [quote=Anonymous Confession]Okay my confession is pretty bland but it takes me FOREVER to cum during sex. When i'm wanking it is fine, but during intercourse it can take over an hour for me to finish. My first girlfriend was 14 when we did it in late 2007 and i didnt cum until the third time we tried, which was doggystyle in a public changing room. I was 15. I fingered her best friend a few months later (just gonna throw it out there). Also i tried fingering a drunk christian girl on my birthday but she wouldn't let me. My brothers gf offered me a blowjob, i declined. My second root was in November with a lifelong friend (16) who was staying for a few nights and she came down to my room and we fucked, it took about an hour. Later i found out she had been shagging my older brother about the same time. We did it a few times after. My current girlfriend (15) have had sex twice and i haven't came yet. We were at it in several positions but whenever i get close my dick falls out because it goes mushy from being hard for so long. Also we generated so much heat and perspiration that several of my posters fell down and she was slick with sweat. We had to have a shower, which was rad. Once i put my finger up my ass to see what it was like and i didn't like it. The end[/quote] Try Viagra, buddy! [quote=Anonymous Confession]Kay I have some long as shit confessions for you Hezzy and it's none of this incest shit, I really want some help.. 1. I am disgusted with my generation (90s, 14 - 18 y/o's generally). I am really disgraced with it. It's filled with nothing but: Early Teens are becoming alcoholic, EVERY nice girl you meet is into drinking every chance they get, Early Teens are becoming alcoholic, Every guy is a prick and treat the girls like shit or act all hard-man because they're probably drunk.. Early Teens are becoming alcoholic, Early Teens are becoming alcoholic, 2. I'm not into Alcohol/Drugs at all, yet I sport a Jack D. poster on my wall. :P 3. I've not had a girlfriend or proper female relation in almost 2 years. I'm not THAT worried about this, this correlates with #1 & 2, but I REALLY can't meet the right girl.. Back in High-school I had about 4 - 5 main female friends and for the 4 years I spent in high-school I went out with atleast 4 out of 5 of them and they went pretty good but they were pre-16 (read: pre-omfg legal for sex) then I met a girl at the end of my 4th yeat of High-school and she was amazing.. since then (almost 2 years mind) I've not had relations with girls beyond being friends or meeting some on the interwebs... 4. I want to be a film maker (specifically writing, directing, cinempatography (cameraman), acting all in one) but I really get the feeling from my parents that they don't support me. I am currently doing an aircraft engineering course in college and while I could be doing worse at it I just lack the motivation and keen on doing it so I go in for the free money mostly.. (about 90 quid every 2 weeks) I want to get a job.. even if it's at Tesco's or something at first to make money to buy all my Film making equipment but my parents really want me to get a "proper" job as a mechanic or something but I don't want too. I am happy to work, but I don't want a career and "film making" as a hobby.. I wand a film making career. 5. I want to get laid by a girl who's into Anal.. I have an unhealthy obession with womens derriere.. like Tits to me are 2nd best.. A nice ass = a nice girl.. unless she's unfortunate with a bulldog face and a nice ass. I want to try anal.. but I'm afraid to first off ask the girl if she's into it and 2nd. to get one of them enema clensing things so I don't get a shit-dick or anything.. Even if I used a condom.. (In general I want to get laid.. Virgin.. :\) Hezzy, you are actually really good at the little advice messages you put at the end of every confession so if you don't mind can you touch on these confessions for me? I know sometimes you like to take the piss or make jokes but when you do give some real advice it's often good and I just don't know what to do about this stuff. :\ Thanks for the confessional Hez.[/quote] Maybe you should become a pornography director [quote=Anonymous Confession]Dear FP confessions, I sometimes cant stand my boyfriend, he can be so egotistical which gets quite annoying. I flirt a lot, for kicks really, i like to tease guys/girls that know they cant have me, makes me feel powerful and wanted. [/quote] Guys like to feel important. You seem to be the same way, so you must be a good couple One from the old thread (so you can get a good idea of what confessions are like); [quote=Anonymous Confession]I'll put them in number forms and try to get them in detail. 1.) I have experimented with my cousin, as in I sucked his dick a little, and he sucked mine.. but he done it until I cummed, which felt good, but I'm not homosexual.. I might be bisexual, but I don't really know. 2.) I stuck my dick in an electrical socket, it felt very, VERY bad. 3.) I've pooped on my cousins (girl) chest before, but she wanted me too, I didn't do it because I wanted to. We where talking about how birds poop (we both have pet birds) and it's sometimes hard to clean up and it went to something like this. "Yeah bird poop is hard to clean" "so is human poop, if the toilet gets clogged." "yea one time I pooped so much it overflowed" "hey you wanna poop on my chest?" "uhm.. k?" 4.) I once had a blowjob in the 4th grade by a girl. I was talking to my friends and she hands me this note, and it said something like "I heard you liked me, well lets have some fun in the bathroom at 1:00." She was VERY attractive and one of the most popular kids in school. It was so fucking great. 5.) I have cummed on my keyboard so many times, just because I like it sticky for some odd reason. 6.) I fantasize about going through school with a sword and just killing everyone, and every time I do, it ends with me jumping off a table and slicing my principles head off, then getting laid by one of the girls I like. I know it wasn't much, but I'll probably come back with more.[/quote] [b]PREVIOUS THREADS[/b] [url=http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=195810]Facepunch Anonymous Confessional[/url] [url=http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=546792]Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v2[/url] [url=http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?p=12841069]Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v3[/url] :siren:[highlight]LET'S GET THOSE CONFESSIONS ROLLING IN![/highlight]:siren:
Oh boy, these threads are always exciting.
I love these threads, always gives me something to laugh about.
And God said, "LET THERE BE INCEST CONFESSIONS" Seriously, there always are a couple.
cool story bro (User was permabanned for this post ("memeshit." - ventilated)) [b] EDIT: [/B] [B] HA [/B] you can't ban me now! I got banned already! [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Gimmick" - Hezzy))[/highlight]
Thank you for bringing this back Hezzy. You're the best.
I can't fucking wait
Yes! They're back!
I love these threads so much
Oh boy!
[QUOTE=FEARME!;16231597]And God said, "LET THERE BE INCEST CONFESSIONS" Seriously, there always are a couple.[/QUOTE] Those are always fun to read. Of all things though, I love Hezzy's reaction to a lot of these.
Fucking Incredible.
[QUOTE=FEARME!;16231597]And God said, "LET THERE BE INCEST CONFESSIONS" Seriously, there always are a couple.[/QUOTE] That's pretty much every single FP-AC thread for ya.
Thanks hezzy. I had something I needed to get out.
Get your confessions in!!
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16231899]Get your confessions in!![/QUOTE] How many do you have so far?
Yayyyyyyy
[quote]I fantasize about going through school with a sword and just killing everyone, and every time I do, it ends with me jumping off a table and slicing my principles head off, then getting laid by one of the girls I like.[/quote] The best one so far, as in its pretty fucking epic. As in it reminds me of this album cover [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3UCbkaINFEg/SSQ8DOBXhSI/AAAAAAAAAHw/mxXREPt4cmk/s400/longlivetheloud.jpg[/img]
I am waiting for this thread to be filled with many emotions. (also sending in a confession)
fuck yes I love these. Thanks hezzeh
I always doubt 90% of these are real.
Sent :fuckyou:
I sent one. :fuckyou: :ninja: I'm not telling you which one :ninja:
I missed these a lot
[QUOTE=Soulbrother;16232158]I always doubt 90% of these are real.[/QUOTE] With an attitude like that it ruins the confessions.
I was just hoping for one of these threads... Put the one where that guy kills someone...that was...excellent
good thread, i look forward to reading these.
Yesyesyesyes.
These are always good for a few laughs.
It's back! Awesome.
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