• Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v4
    1,436 replies, posted
[QUOTE=phill977;16283645]"Old Joe's Collection/Incest/Eros" sounds pretty creepy to me. [B]EDIT:[/B] Holy shit, that directory is full of shit like that. That is one fucked up man.[/QUOTE] Mhm. :flashfap::flashfap:
"43 new posts" And all it is, is people whining. Give him some time.
[QUOTE=compwhizii;16281773]Best of V3: [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showpost.php?p=13004488&postcount=594[/url][/QUOTE] :raise:
The more you people post, the sooner the thread gets closed.
[QUOTE=100chaz;16284881]The more you people post, the sooner the thread gets closed.[/QUOTE] X1 agree cause I agree. [b] EDIT: [/b] OH SHI-
That's weird, one of the earlier confessions were mine. But I don't remember sending it to Hezzy---Weird.
[QUOTE=Sloped;16284999]That's weird, one of the earlier confessions were mine. But I don't remember sending it to Hezzy---Weird.[/QUOTE] Wait. You didn't even type it out, but somehow Hezzy got hold of it. Oh god. What is he capable of?
[QUOTE=100chaz;16285069]Wait. You didn't even type it out, but somehow Hezzy got hold of it. Oh god. What is he capable of?[/QUOTE] :iiam:
[QUOTE=DrDaxxy;16283704]ITT: people discover erotic stories and shit themselves BTW read [url=http://www.asstr.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe's_Collection/Pedophilia/]this[/url][/QUOTE] I find it disturbing you had that so readily on hand.
It's a subdirectory of "Old Joe's Collection", reachable by a few clicks.
Holy fuck 70+ new emails, I've got my work cut out for me
[snip] felt like I was gonna get banned if i didn't snip [editline]12:32AM[/editline] Give us our Email cocaine!
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16285217]Holy fuck 70+ new emails, I've got my work cut out for me[/QUOTE] Mayby do an extra big batch?
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16285217]Holy fuck 70+ new emails, I've got my work cut out for me[/QUOTE] ahahaha
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16285217]Holy fuck 70+ new emails, I've got my work cut out for me[/QUOTE] Good thing we're leaving this to a seasoned veteran such as yourself.
[quote=Anonymous Confession]So I wanted to get these things off my chest, I have made a confession before(on your first confesiion thread) but I didn't put most other stuff in:. So here it goes: 1. I am almsot 14 yet I have never had a proper girlfriend/kissed a girl.(though I might be going out with some girl soon.) 2. When I was 11 an 12 I didn't know how to mastebate properly so I came up with loads of weird methods which included using lego motors that vibrate, whacking my cock back and forward like soem kind of toy. 3. When I was younger I never realised how bad cum smelled so when I mastebated I used to just cum in my pillow and just sleep on it for a few months, or do it in my boxers and wear them the next day. 4. My first FP account got perma'd because I made a thread about how my little brother was mastebating(he was 10) above me, sicne we used to have bunk beds. Garry banned me with this reason "mastebating WTF". 5. I have been lurking Facepunch since 05 but never made an account until 07. 6. When I started secondary school, I used to act like a complete retard on purpose. 7. I used to have long distance girlfriend(never kissed or anything) that I met on holiday, I liked her until I realised she was an ugly bitch and e-dumped her on valentines day. 8. Genreally up until I turned 13 I acted liek a complete dumpshit/retard and it's stuck back on me now. 9. I have way too many fucking pubes. 10. My life has genreally sucked up until now, since currently I am trying to turn it around. Thanks, Anonymous FP user.[/quote] You probably don't have a girlfriend yet because you smell like semen [quote=Anonymous Confession]I've been in a relationship with an amazing guy for over 2 years now, and I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with him. He feels the same way, but what worries me is not only is he the first guy I've seriously dated, I'm 21 and he'll be 23 in a couple months. We've also been living together this summer and will be all but living together for the next year and I've kept my parents in the dark about this. Part of me is worried that we're too young, even though my parents would've gotten married when they were only a year or two older than we are right now if my uncle hadn't proposed to my aunt literally hours before my dad proposed to my mom. My parents have been very happily married for 25 years now, so that gives me some hope but the huge divorce rate these days really, really scare me, even though both of us feel very strongly against divorce outside of violent situations. The ONE complaint I have about my boyfriend is that his best friend has a really bad crush on him. She's always been extremely nasty to me whenever he's not around and has told me she would be a better girlfriend for him than me because I'm a vegetarian and they're not. I've been able to avoid her for awhile now but I recently found out that she just got a job at the same place I work. She will also IM my boyfriend from the time he wakes up in the morning till he goes to bed. Hell, she even got steam so that she can talk to him while he's in game and not on AIM. She's gone so far as to start texting him while we're on dates. I can understand having your own friends, but I really think she takes it too far and it really bothers me, and honestly has been starting to creep me out. I'm graduating college in a year and my parents really want me to go start a masters program. Currently my GPA has dropped to a 2.84 and I have no research experience so I'm really not sure I can get into a good master's program that will cover tuition. I'm also getting horribly drained after my bachelors; I've been doing very little outside of studying and I've been working on about 5 hours of sleep for the past 3 years. I got an internship last summer where I was working a 40 hour work week from 8-4 on weekdays and it was wonderful. I really want to get a full time job right now, but I've still got another year of school left. My parents are starting to nag me about signing up for the GRE before school starts, but at the moment I don't have enough money to buy groceries, let alone the GRE and I don't feel like destroying my credit. I also still feel tremendously guilty from an incident that happened 2 years ago. One of my friends had a messy breakup with her boyfriend and became extremely mentally unstable. After ostracizing most of her friends, I was her only remaining friend and she came to me begging for help because she was so suicidal. I strongly urged her to seek help, since I really didn't feel that I could offer her the help she needed, and she refused. I later discovered that her ex-boyfriend and her parents were trying to utilize the Baker's Act, a state law which allows a person deemed a risk to themselves or others can be taken into a mental facility for 72 hours to be examined, and I helped them pinpoint her location. She called me from another mental institution the day before Deathly Hallows came out and started ripping me apart because my actions led to her not being able to read the book at midnight, which she had been extremely excited about for years. I know that if that's what she was concerned about, rather than being concerned that all her friends and family were trying to get her into a mental institution then she really did belong in there, but I still feel tremendously guilty about betraying a friend. I've sought help to try and deal with this, but it hasn't helped.[/quote] Hahaha crazy woman [quote=Anonymous Confession]A few days ago my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, we had been having unprotected sex for a few weeks using the pull out method. She now wants to perform a 'coat hanger abortion' on herself and wants me to help her. What the hell should I do? [/quote] Go to the Doctor, don't be an idiot [quote=Anonymous Confession]Forgive me father for I have sinned. Okay, I'll try and confess as much as I can, since everything I confess makes me feel a little bit better. -I'm 17 years of age, and I take anti-depressants, and that isn't right. I'm lonely, I have no friends outside of my sad little e-life. -I'm a self-hating homosexual who is incredibly vain and over-sensitive. -I love horses and ponies and zebras and donkeys as much as I would if I had a boyfriend. Ponies especially. Yes, I'm a zoophiliac, and I don't know why everyone is so screamish when it comes to equine love. Seriously, it's not as disgusting as dog beastiality. They have ugly pointy dicks, and they are unhygenic, yet most "normal" people would have fapped to dogs one time in their life. I'm ranting, so let's go on to my other confessions. -I suffer from a bloodlust rage that's inside me. I always think about devouring a person if I was ever in a fight. - I had gay sex with my cousin at a young age etc etc. I bet you heard it all before. -I talk to myself more than to anyone else. -I'm going though a pretty dark period of my life right now. -I think Hezzy is kinda cute -I've had sex with more men that I met on the internet than anywhere else. And that's a pretty bad thing, too. -I sometimes dress myself in a diaper and act like a baby. Hey, we all need a saftey blanket in this world. -I eat my cum whenever I finish jacking off. That's all I can remember right now.[/quote] I'm pretty disturbed you went from "Hezzy is kinda cute" to "I've had sex with more men that I met on the internet than anywhere else" [quote=Anonymous Confession]Dear Hezzy, I have a problem. I'm afraid of shitting. Everytime I take a dump I have to wipe my arse for about 40 minutes. It takes a shitload of wiping to get rid of the shit. I wipe for so long that it starts bleeding, and eventually I can't even tell if there's any feces left or if it's just blood. I have to plan ahead just to take a dump, otherwise I might miss a TV show or something because I'm stuck in there for such a long time. I use at least 1 roll of toiletpaper everytime I take a shit. And to top it off, I've read every single magazine I own about 6 times already so I've got pretty much nothing to do while I'm stuck in there. I think this whole thing has something to do with my diet but I don't eat anything unusual or obscenely unhealthy. I dread every dump I have to take[/quote] Hahaha [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hello Hezzy It'll be nice to get this thing off of me... Basically, I'm obsessed about dragons. My hard drive is filled with dragon artwork, I got tons of books revolving around them and so forth. The thing is... I like dragons from the sexual perspective too... I find their bodies hot, boobs don't affect me, human pussy does not affect me, hell, even male dongs don't turn me on. Only a feral dragon turns me on, no matter the sex. I even imagine myself being a dragon, even to the point of actually >feeling< that I am a dragon. I know it's messed up but I can't help it... On the plus side though, being like that has led me to many wonderful friendships, both in real life and over the internet, since the so-called "Otherkin" community is quite large.[/quote] My girlfriend just read that and said "I knew the internet was weird, but..." and kind of just trailed off [quote=Anonymous Confession]One night a few months ago I went to the classic 'highschool party', I was traveling with my sister who was only providing transport and my girlfriend who was going to the party too. The party was cool but everyone there was pretty much drunk including the two of us. My sister said she could drive us back to her apartment (My sister is 21, I am 18 and so is my girlfriend) so we could stay there for the night. After the party we made our way into my sister's car and off to the hotel. By now it was 1:30 AM and my sister had gone to bed up in her room, she said it was our job to find a place to sleep. My girlfriend was laying with my on the couch. We were still a little drunk and she was kind of strange/crazy when she was drunk. We were talking about random things when the conversation turned into this: Her: "Let's fuck." Me: "What?!" Her: "I wanna have sex with you." Me: "This is my sister's apartment..." Her: "So?" Me: "She wouldn't be too happy with it." Her: "Well what if I fuck her too?" Me: "Uhhh..." (She was bisexual, but at this point I was just thinking 'what the fuck!!!') Her: "Don't you like her like I do?" Me: "No, she's my sister." (I didn't even know if my girlfriend knew my sister at all and I was a little scared at this point, and was almost feeling sympathy for my sister because my gf was drunk.) Her: "I wanna fuck both of you." Me: "Well it's your call.." Her: "Okay then." She had left me and went upstairs with a smile. Fuck. I decided to go upstairs shortly after, the door was open a bit. I walked in slowly and my girlfriend was sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless, leaning over my sister making out with her. As I slowly made my way over I was looking at my sister who had the 'confused as fuck' look on her face, but my girlfriend wouldn't resist. She got off the bed and pulled my shirt off. So from that point on a had sex with both my girlfriend and my sister. Whenever she mentioned it later I just told I was drunk but I don't think she bought that. Also on a side note; I pulled out. So I'm pretty sure neither of them are pregnant and I would've known by now. I am just curious if you can contract anything by having sex with your brother/sister besides total sympathy.[/quote] Your girlfriend is pretty weird bro. What if you two broke up and she started dating your sister? [quote=Anonymous Confession]As a follow up to the volvo story. I'm not sure why the guy murdered my cats, He is a fat fuckwit nutjob. that's probably why. I never got caught. Despite TV, most crimes don't get solved. Especially not where I live. He doesn't know. As I said, I didn't tell a soul, didn't return to the scene. Didn't breath a word. As for his reaction? He went to the cops. Spazzed out all around. He had no reason to suspect me, since I never confronted him about any of the things he has done. Partly because I have a clean criminal record and would like to keep it that way, partly because I don't think there's anything I could say to the corpulant sack of shit that would encompas my rage. Still, It pissed him off, He cried at the scene. Also he didn't talk to anyone for a few weeks, (he's a fat fucking slob though so he probably dosn't talk to people most weeks)[/quote] Hahaha awesome! High five! [quote=Anonymous Confession]I'm not going to beat around the fucking bush. I am an ugly guy. In my own words I believe that. Neck beard, double chin. deep socketed eyes, cave man mono-brow, A body like sack of pillows and way too much body hair. I don't play the relationship game because I don't have the patience to negotiate a treaty with any of the woman I know, since they all have more emotional baggage than any one man should have to deal with. I'm always the nice guy in my circle, I take care of the guy who's too drunk to walk. I'm forever giving lifts, lending money and helping people with their petty relationship troubles (they always come to me like I'm a fucking guru or psychiatrist, I don't even have a girlfriend, why the fuck do I care? stop venting at me) Anyway, It is in that vein that this story begins, I am at a party in full swing, I am a fat guy, so I don't get as drunk as easily as others. I've nailed a bottle of scotch and am on the prowl for some vodka when a girl comes up to me, she is hot as fuck. Knee high boots, fish nets, short black skirts. A goth chick, (You'd expect a few, I'm a metal head, goth chicks are always hanging around) the next thing I spy is that she is WASTED. Like hammered beyond walking. She looks at me and her eyes focus on me, and she goes "*MY NAME*! Hey!" and falls on me. I assume she was going for a hug but it wasn't graceful at all. I'm not going to transcribe our conversation (partially because I don't remember much of the words) but basically she wants cock and I'm the closest person she is leaning on. Now as the aforementioned nice guy I am instantly afraid, My body clenches as two conscious entities appear at each shoulder. The devil of my shoulder whispers in my ear "You can totally fuck this girl, She is drunk and totally hot and she wants your dick, Go for it you pussy" The angel of my ear whispers "You fucking prick, how could you consider fucking a girl so drunk? She's probably just leaning on you because she cannot find her boyfriend." I prop her up, and look at her, instantly my mind is made up, A grin sneaks across my minds eye, I whack on my drunken charm and pretty soon we're both fucking like sweaty machines in some corner of the house. It takes me hours to come because I am pretty hammered. We pass out in eachother's arms after hastily covering ourselves in a blanket. NEXT FUCKING DAY. Oh jesus, What a hangover. I see one of my mates, For the purpose of this story we'll call him "Kevin" standing slouched in the doorway, obviously very hungover, "What the fuck, bitch" he murmers at me, This shit happens all the time between us since we're mates and I go "not much fucker, Just being hungover" Than he goes "Shut the fuck up man." grabs up this chick and storms out before she can even get dressed or fully awaken. I realise I've just drowned in the deep shit, I throw my cloths on ASAP and get the fuck out of dodge. After some furious texting turns out I slept with his new girlfriend, great. It takes MONTHS to smooth it over. I still cop shit about it to this day. Now I know the code is "bros before hoes" and shit like that but you don't know how desperate I was. how lonely. I'm popular enough that no one throws me any pity sex, I'm not charming, sweet, pretty or ritch. I don't get shit down here at the bottom of the fuck-chain. [/quote] Congratulations on losing your virginity [quote=Anonymous Confession]I just wanted to get it off my chest so here. -I am a furry -I constantly masturbate(doesn't even feel good anymore i am just addicted to it for some reason) Not much compared to some of the other ones but enjoy it you bloodthirsty Facepunchers [/quote] Do you constantly masturbate because you are a furry or are you a furry because you constantly masturbate
This should be funny. :D
That girlfriend /sister thing is hot.
A+++++++++++++++ Posts Hezzy
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I used to work at a bar. The manager was a cunt. In addition to my wages every week, I stole roughtly £60 cash from my till every week. More importantly, I came across one of my workmates pay packages. It went straight into my pocket. She had to go crying to her parents so she could pay rent that month (I was £240 richer). I also flooded the basement before I left to give them something to remember me by. I don't feel the slightest bit guilty.[/quote] You are a horrible person [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hezzy, I rarely post because I'm afraid I'll break a rule accidently and get banned. You are the only cool mod though, the rest suck dicks. Except for PacificV2, he's cool too. But you are still better. Love, Anonymous[/quote] I thought this was the Anonymous Confessional not the Anonymous Kiss Arse [quote=Anonymous Confession]Yo Hezzeh. I can't be bothered writing huge stuff so I'm just going to do it in kinda bulletpoint paragraphs. When I was younger (not too young, like 13-14) I used to experiment with my female cousin (I'm a dude), she was a year younger than me. We were fairly innocent when doing this, we rly had no idea it was bad or wrong, usually she'd play around with my cock'n'balls and I'd kinda rub my hand on the lips of her Vaginé since I didn't know entry was.. good. Eventually we started doing more stuff and we even got around to trying penetration of P in the Va-G. One time I was lying on top of her both of us completely naked and she started moving her hips cause she was uncomfortable and then all of a sudden my dick slipped in and it felt like something I couldn't even describe but pretty much after like 2 thrusts I pulled out because we were scared. I still consider myself a virgin however because it wasn't really legit and I'm pretty sure I never even broke her hymen. -- I'm incredibly socially anti-social, if that makes sense. I'm everyones friend and everyone knows me, Lots of girls dig me and I get on with them and everything but to be honest, I'm never actually out of my house much, now that sounds like im in ALL the time. I DO go out often but just not like every day, more like every week or so. I guess I just leave a pretty good impression on people the first time around. I kind of hate and love being a loner (I have like 3 best friends and then a plithora (sp?) of secondary friends, which I'm fine with. But I love being on my own sometimes, I like my personal space and privacy. -- I'm a video editor and I long to be a professional in this line but the fact that I'm so highly critical of my self and everything I do, this holds me back. I'm pretty sure every artist has this problem but I just want to be able to express my self through digital and physical media/design - It's just hard exerting my self when 90% of my projects go in the "too shit by my standards" pile. -- I think I may be slightly bisexual - I do occaisionally watch gay porn but only when I've been watching guy on girl or girl on girl, I just get in a really kinky mood and in between some good old lesbian toungue-banging, I slap on some man on man anal action.. I dunno.. I wouldn't actively go fuck a guy or suck his dick and out in the real world it doesn't turn me on - Only in the moment. -- I'm not particularly fat or ugly, I'm barely a few pounds overweight and most of my "fat" is just on my belly, but not in an intrusive way. I enjoy food and I'm not obessesed with trying to look like Brad Pitt in fight club, I wouldn't mind it but it honestly doesn't bother me. I used to think girls wanted the skinny sexy guys but after talking with lots of girls about it they seem to not care so much if the guy is really nice, and like I said I'm a pretty good guy in everyones books. -- I had internal bleeding (stomoch/upper GI, not ass) recently and it completely changed my view on how I ate and lived. After about a few weeks of eating healthy, my bleeding cleared up and now I'm back on the same shitty eating routine and living standards. Meh, I want to have a nice diet and go running every day but I lack the motivation even though I love running. -- I'm a vegetarian and have been for over a year now, the closes thing I eat to animals is cheese and milk which are only harmless (yes, harmless) non-body bi-products of animals. The thing is though.. I couldn't care less about animals being slaughtered and stuff. I think I just accept that it cannot be stopped and humans were born to do it. I'm not ignorant and I don't preach (sp?) Vegeterianism down peoples throats. Obviously I don't want to see cute animals being brutalized but it doesn't phase me too much. I enjoy the diet and food alternatives and I've stuck to it. -- I just passed my Aeronautical Engineering course in college and I'm not rly excited. I want to do something more in the lines of media production or film production as well as continuing to follow my music career. Although it's nice to have something of such a high standard to fall back on if the former mentioned "careers" fall through. I guess these aren't the kinky, dirty, dog fucking related stories you guys wanted to hear. I just needed to get that shit off my chest or talk about it. It still hasn't made me feel better but for some reason I find comfort in telling people my problems, even when they don't care. I guess I'm quite socially anti-socially independantly dependant on materialistic shit.[/quote] "and in between some good old lesbian toungue-banging, I slap on some man on man anal action.. I dunno.." [quote=Anonymous Confession]Alright, I'll make a list for you 1. Me and my cousin make out whenever we can 2. I'm a porn addict 3. I shave my pubes into smiley faces 4. I like to cyber 5. Nobody knows any of this The end![/quote] They do now! Also how exactly do you shave your pubes into smiley faces? Please teach me [quote=Anonymous Confession]The events you are about read take place three months ago. I have never told a living soul and most likely never will again. Okay, I was sleeping over at a friend's house doing perfectly normal things like playin' some Xbox, the occasional wrestling. After losing at Need for Speed for the 50th time we went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. My friennd was asleep and his mom's stupid fucking chihuaha wouldn't shut up. I went out to the bathroom to take a piss (maybe jack off into some toilet roll) I was almost going full fucking sprint because I desperately needed a to let out some juice, When I tripped. I stubbed my toe on something hard and hurt like FUCK. The barking stopped.I had kicked the evil chihuaha then stood on it accidentally. I turned on the light and saw it's side was bleeding and it's back looked a little bent inwards. Both the wound and the animal were ugly. I turned the light off. My friend's mother hated me already for reasons unknown, mutilating her dog would not help my rep. I slipped on a T-shirt and some jeans and ran back home. The next day at school my friend told me his mother was hysterical. I had chipped it's ribcage and it's back was fractured. He probably knew it was me and he tried to ignore that. I've still not had the guts to admit it. I'm a shit friend. Help.[/quote] You need to come clean, apologise and explain it was an accident. I probably wouldn't mention the reason why you were in a hurry, though [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hello guys, so, I have a confession to make, it's pretty nasty but, oh well. I was pretty drunk and I went to bed to sleep, I thought my wife was coming onto me, so I started making out with her, her tounge felt weird, but we continiued, i started to finger her and I heard a "Meow" sound. I opened my eyes, and realised I was making out and fingering my cat. Little tip here, open your eyes before you start making out with someone. Fuck me sideways [/quote] Bahaahhaa [quote=Anonymous Confession]I had a weird problem. If I saw a woman pleasuring herself, I'd get mad. I don't mean like a simple little anger. I felt an intense anger so strong I felt like I could rip apart a wall made of bricks. I first encountered this anger when I was in sixth grade at a swimming pool and a girl discovered the joys of being near a hottub jet. I got so mad that I picked her up out of the hottub and threw her into the swimming pool, and then proceeded to turn off the hottub jets. I was then escorted out of the swimming pool area and banned from ever going there again. Oh and she later confronted me and kicked me in the nuts. She borrowed her boyfriend's steal toe boots. A few years later this uncontrollable anger in me was reencountered when I saw a girl horseback riding and seemed to be enjoying it too much, so before she was going to ride her horse through a gate I tied a rope between both sides of the entrance so when the horse went through the thing would get tripped. Successful, the girl got a bruise on her forehead when she fell off. Luckily I was never caught in this. Month later in my sheltered life I dicovered porn sites. With all the videos of women pleasuring themselves on them I got really fucking pissed off. I turned into a script kiddie and took down four porn sites by DDoSing them. I was never caught doing that either. I reached the peak of my anger towards the sight of a woman pleasuring herself when I finally got a girlfriend and I caught her doing a bad act. I got a hold of myself and took a logical course of action. I transferred my anger energy into my sex drive and sexed her up with the best sex she ever had in her entire life. That was the day I got over my irrational anger towards a woman pleasuring herself. I would like to know if anyone has insight as to why I had this problem in the first place though [/quote] I can just imagine you picking up the girl going RARRGHGHG and throwing her into the pool [quote=Anonymous Confession]I've got a confesion to make, for a man of my age. Now young lads play with it all the time, they think its cool and stuff. They do it in their bedrooms while their parents are sleeping. Grown men like me shouldn't do it, because we have wives instead. I did try discussing it with my wife, but she really doesn't understand the pleasure that is gives me when I hold it between my fingers and thumb. The longer I play with it, the more it gets hard, especially when I've got no memory on my memory card. I'm talking about my playstation portable, of course. Sick fucks.[/quote] Hahaha, you do some pretty good confessions [quote=Anonymous Confession]when i was a kid, about 7 or whatever, thinking about people transforming into things made me hard. i really don't know why. nowadays, it doesn't, and i don't think i have any fetishes at all, and i find furry porn disgusting, like anyone with a brain. weird, huh?[/quote] What kind of things? [quote=Anonymous Confession]So some time ago when i got confirmated(think it's like this, if it is remove this)me and my friends were having a cool time on blue monday walking down the street. Suddenly my friend finds 100 dollars(another currency though but ca)laying on the street. We are getting all hyped and going :woop::woop::woop::woop: I then see this hobo sitting and asking for money, so i say in my hypeness, LET'S GIVE THOSE 100 BUCKS TO THAT HOBO!!!!!! They all agree and we run over to that guy and give him the 100 bucks. Today i don't care that we might have done a good thing, i'm fucking mad at myself >:( Actually i think he just used them at cigarettes and beer anyway. Funfact:When i went in kindergarden i almost got strangled by a moon-car [img]http://swingcar.dk/images/mooncar-big_650.jpg[/img] This fucker! I turned a little too hard and performed a barrel-roll which resulted in it landing on me.[/quote] What did the hobo say?
That first one is just mean
The return of incest, licentiousness, and angst. Hey look! An Anonymous Confessional is up!
[quote]Alright, I'll make a list for you 1. Me and my cousin make out whenever we can 2. I'm a porn addict [b]3. I shave my pubes into smiley faces[/b] 4. I like to cyber 5. Nobody knows any of this The end![/quote] I LOL'd!!!! But how the fuck do you do it?
Mine isn't in there. I feel both sad and relieved.
[quote=not_yet?;16241550]i'm both.[/quote] say wut?
Congratulations to the fat dude who lost his virginity. :smile: Although, mine didn't get in. :raise:
looks like HQRSE sent in a confession
Oh god i never lol'd like this before
[QUOTE=ZestyLemons;16241268]There's a lot of secret lurking girls on the FP suprisingly.[/QUOTE] *Nods*
[quote=Anonymous Confessions]I had a weird problem. If I saw a woman pleasuring herself, I'd get mad. I don't mean like a simple little anger. I felt an intense anger so strong I felt like I could rip apart a wall made of bricks. I first encountered this anger when I was in sixth grade at a swimming pool and a girl discovered the joys of being near a hottub jet. I got so mad that I picked her up out of the hottub and threw her into the swimming pool, and then proceeded to turn off the hottub jets. I was then escorted out of the swimming pool area and banned from ever going there again. Oh and she later confronted me and kicked me in the nuts. She borrowed her boyfriend's steal toe boots. A few years later this uncontrollable anger in me was reencountered when I saw a girl horseback riding and seemed to be enjoying it too much, so before she was going to ride her horse through a gate I tied a rope between both sides of the entrance so when the horse went through the thing would get tripped. Successful, the girl got a bruise on her forehead when she fell off. Luckily I was never caught in this. Month later in my sheltered life I dicovered porn sites. With all the videos of women pleasuring themselves on them I got really fucking pissed off. I turned into a script kiddie and took down four porn sites by DDoSing them. I was never caught doing that either. I reached the peak of my anger towards the sight of a woman pleasuring herself when I finally got a girlfriend and I caught her doing a bad act. I got a hold of myself and took a logical course of action. I transferred my anger energy into my sex drive and sexed her up with the best sex she ever had in her entire life. That was the day I got over my irrational anger towards a woman pleasuring herself. I would like to know if anyone has insight as to why I had this problem in the first place though[/quote] Haha oh wow this is by far the best one yet.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.