• Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v4
    1,436 replies, posted
[QUOTE=mm3guy;16257561]How exactly did it look like trolling? That was way too huge to have been a troll thing and it got into details of what he experience. Granted, there are details missed. In case he's still browsing this thread maybe we can ask him things? And even the other confessional posts, maybe we can ask them questions and they might send in a second email answering them.[/QUOTE] Although I can't remember of any instance, there have been troll threads which go on for days. You should understand how far people will go to get a laugh.
These threads are so much fun...
Woo! i posted mine, i doubt it'll make it in but hey, you never know :D
Ahh this thread is half way to lock, stop posting.
I hope mine gets posted :)
[QUOTE=Ubergoose;16307970]I hope mine gets posted :)[/QUOTE] Oh lord, your avatar and your post.
[QUOTE=Imperials ^^;16284108]"43 new posts" And all it is, is people whining. Give him some time.[/QUOTE] ur scum
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Hiya. I'll just get to the point so Facepunch can laugh at my sorry ass. I have a medical condition- pectus excavatum. It basically means that my ribs grow inwards much more than they should. I first noticed it about a year ago and went with my parents to see my doctor. He didn't know much about it but suggested that I see someone with more experience in it, meaning that he realized it was a problem. The main problem with this condition is that it can constrict the lungs, and if left untreated, the heart. I could die from it. I've noticed the depression in my chest getting deeper int he past year, so it's very possible that my lungs are being constricted. I wasn't able to keep up with everyone else in basketball two years ago, despite being moderately athletic, which I guess was my first clue. There's two treatments that they use. The first involves the removal of most of the front of the rib cage in order for the bone to regrow normally. It takes a hell of a long time and is very painful, because you don't have a fucking ribcage. The second involves metal bars being inserted behind the ribs and bolted in to constantly apply pressure to the back of the ribs, pushing them outwards gradually. The bars stay in for 2-3 years before they are removed. It takes a long time and is very painful, because your bones are being pushed from the fucking inside. I like to keep my bones in my body, so I decided I'd rather have the latter. The surgeon told me that the treatment is unnecessary if the lungs aren't being restricted, so he suggested that I take an excersise stress test. But since the stress test is designed to push you to the absolute limit, I had to be tested for heart problems. I went to a hospital about an hour and a half away. There, I was tested twice. The first time, I had the sticky electrode things stuck all over me and I layed down for a few seconds. The second test involved me being smeared with smelly jelly shit by a woman at least 60 years old. She then took an ultrasound of my heart and surronding area, which took at least half an hour and was extremely uncomfortable. The test results came back and said I was a-okay to take the stress test. I went to another hospital an hour away and did some breathing excersises before getting on an excersise bike. You see, most people think that you just ride an excersise bike for an hour and you're golden. No. I got outfitted with a plastic mask that resembled that of a fighter pilot, with air tube and all. It was to measure the amount of oxygen going in and carbon dioxide going out. I then had sticky electrodes placed on me again and a clip on one of my fingers. When you start pedalling, it's easy enough, like going up a small slope. Every minute, the resistance of the pedals is raised, making it seem like you're going up a steeper hill. After 3 minutes, it felt like I was going up a fucking mountain. I managed to last a total of four and a half minutes, at which point i almost passed out. It was all I could do to walk to a chair in the room and sit down. The guy that gave me the test was pretty cool. He seemed to be in his early 30's, making him the youngest person I've interacted with on this roller coaster of shit. He gave me fruit snacks to get sugar back into my system and stayed with me until I could walk out to the waiting room again. The results for the stress test just came in a few days ago and I have to meet with the surgeon to discuss them soon. I can't say where it's going as of now, but it looks like I'll be getting implants in my chest within a year. Metal bar implants, not silicone. I've never had a problem with the appearance of my condition, but I am a little self-conscious of it. I don't like swimming much anymore because of it. I tell people that I don't mind the appearance, and that's a lie. I'd just rather not get it done because all these tests and meetings have cost over $8000 for my parents, and I feel bad about it. Meh.[/quote] I hope everything works out for you, sounds like it's going to be pretty tough [quote=Anonymous Confession]I carried this camera around with me at the end of the school year. I'd been rather improving socially this year and wanted some pictures of my friends, alongside the fact I wanted a few reference photos for a school map I was making for Gmod. Some stupid ass middleschooler on the bus asked me "Hey, you planning on killing thoe people you took pictures of or soemthing?" to which, I rather obviously sarcastically responded "Yeah, okay, these are the ones I'm going to shoot." after which I specifically told him I wasn't serious. But the stupid-ass went and told mommy, who told the principle who calle dhte fucking police. I was held up and interrogated for a fuckign hour in school before my mother eventually got there (when she got there and asked what was wrong, they told her I was planning on killing someone. I was like WTF!?). I helped them as best I could, openly explained the situation, everything bad about me should they do an investigation, explained the school map idea, and all of this. Well, that was a mistake, because the fuckers searched my house and computer and interogated my best friend. Do you know why? Because I told them I knew how to make home made napalm, played FPS's, and am a semi-anti-American Marxist. I admitted to them I was slightly depressed, and seriously depressed months ago, so the dumbasses threw me into the fucking ER because I was apparently suicidal. After having to explain to several people the whole situation and that I was not suicidal, and finally getting them to fucking not throw me into the psychiatric hospitol and release me (after signing a contract that I wouldn't be out of eyesight of an adult until I could see a therapist to 'mentally evaluate' me, none the less), I was forced to return home. At that point, my official status to the school was that I was expelled. Now, I'm a damn good student. As and high Bs. I'm polite to all the teachers, do my work the best I can, help is someone asks...I actively participate in History, Social studies and Science classes, and everyone in my grade knows me as the smart kid. The school forgot all that and wanted to ruin my future by expellign me, preventing me getting accepted into any other school, and therefore college, etc. We talked to the therapist, who said I was completely normal. They weren't satisfied. It seems they wanted me removed from school. I had to meat with the school's therapist and psychologist, who also said I was fine. So as far as I was concerned, I should have been alowed to return. But nooope. I was kicked out of school two weeks before everyone else-and extended suspension on my detention-less, almost perfect attendance record, up until I graduate, at which point it -should- be removed. I had to make my case to the schoolboard, I called a lawyer who was an awesome guy and basically told me to flat out lie to make my political view seem more centrist if need be, and had to do my exams after school, after everyone left. I was the last kid out of the school for the year, but the first one to go on break, technically. So I get to return next year to tons of "What happened"s and "Where were you?"s and, accordign tot he deal I made with the principle, I get therapy once a month for the whole school year. All because some fucking little idiot doesn't recognize sarcasm. Lessons learned: Plead the 5th, don't trust little kids, don't expect people to understand sarcasm, and never admit you're a Communist. [/quote] Sounds like they were overreacting but admitting to being depressed, being a communist and knowing how to make napalm probably didn't help things [quote=Anonymous Confession]i'm a guy. i've been on the receiving end of gay sex multiple times. gay porn grosses me out. i cant stand watching guys making out. rather, the only thing gay about me is that i like the feel of getting fucked. i've fucked girls, i've had multiple girlfriends. facepunch is now the only place that knows. also, i don't like the fact that i like dick. i hate myself for it, and now i have extremely low self-esteem cause of those events. i'm currently trying to rehabilitate myself in regards to liking the cock. i wish i told that guy i didnt want to see what his dick looked like. [/quote] become a christian [quote=Anonymous Confession]Ever since I read Watchmen, I've wanted to dress up like Rorschach and beat the shit out of criminals, tie them up, and dump them in front of police stations. I have a strong desire to explore abandoned factories and subways tunnels, but I don't know where to start. I always friendzone myself with girls before I even get to the point of considering asking them out. It is a logical progression for me that always fails. I used to be an altar boy, but one day I woke up and just felt faithless. I've been faithless ever since, haven't been to church since either. I've considered "touring" support groups like the narrator in Fight Club to see what it is like.[/quote] You seem to be a very impressionable person [quote=Anonymous Confession]I often buy laser pointers just to move my hand very quickly on a wall to make my cats run into them. Even though I love my cats very much. What should I do about this habit?[/quote] Record it and put it up on youtube [quote=Anonymous Confession]I saw a post of you saying that you didn't post some stories because they involved children. Some of mine involve me at a young age, so I don't know if that will count. But here I go. - When I was younger, about grade 3, one of my friends (in the middle of the playground) asked me to come over to him. When I did, he said, "look"... at first I didn't know what he meant, but then I looked down and I realised he had his penis out. I quickly ran away and yelled to all my friends what had just happened, but nobody believed me... and they still don't. The confession is that sometimes I think back to that day and wish I haden't told anyone, and possibly shown him mine. - I remember running through the woods with my cousin, and seeing a plastic water bottle. I pulled down my pants and stuck my penis inside of it, and then he did the same. We were about 10 years old. Is this incest? I've always needed to know... - I don't know my sexuality. I'm pretty sure I'm bi-sexual, but I also think that the only reason I'm calling myself bi-sexual is because I'm too afraid to admit I'm gay. - I masturbate to thoughts of my female and male friends masturbating with me, and sometimes I wish that they actually would. - Sometimes I'll find a child's face attractive (as young as 4 years old). - I like furry porn. - I have many more confessions in my head that I won't type because I still haven't actually admitted to myself to them happening.[/quote] Wait what's this you like furry porn? I suppose I shouldn't be shocked at all of the other stuff you just admitted to. Why is it always furries that have the most disgusting confessions [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey hezzy I mostly need help but I'll confess things to make this more fun. 1. Everytime. EVERYTIME. That I like a girl I can never get the courage to ask her out. I work fairly well with chitchating with a girls I like ( mostly because of my humor). What do you say I do when another girl that I like comes along? Any tips? 2. Although I seem like a happy person I have depression and feel like shit on the inside 3. I'm like the only athiest in my family Help me hezzy you sexy bastard[/quote] Just let them know that you like them. If they like you, then they'll tell you. If not it'll be the "let's just be friends" route [quote=Anonymous Confession]Right here have a list of my weird habits or happenings. I am a virgin because I dumped my girlfriend because she was nuts about sex, I told everyone its because it cut into my gaming time. Anytime I'm around girls I get a weird butterfly type feeling and can't really look at them. I have a weird fantasy of a becoming a super human though a parasite merging with me. I like to chew on blankets and only blankets. I find it much better to wear shirts on my head then on my body. I hate the sun but love night time. I can't stand to see myself. I love coffee so much that I will drink 3 pots in 4 hours if I feel like it. I hate feeling like I'm going to puke but I also like it. I prefer sleeping on a chair over a bed any day. I fear being in the house at night time so I always have to have some sort of noise. I feel bad for being a pirate and downloading games so I am buying as many games as I pirated now. I made my self look like a heartless bastard to everyone I know even though I'm not. I say 9/11 was not a inside job Sometimes I wonder why I even go on facepunch I can't stand turning off my computer or PS3 ever. I have a scar on my back that I have no idea how I got it, I think I feel asleep on a knife. I never talk to people that I don't know I refuse to cry unless its from pain I do stupid things just to see what will happen. I have always wanted to make thermite [/quote] ok [quote=Anonymous Confession]I designed a mortar out of a few pringles cans and a cut up can of jolt that fires tennis balls a fair distance. I spent ages getting a properly calibrated leaf site, to drop them wherever I want, and have it set up in my backyard poised to fire onto the tennis court down the street. I consider myself a communist, and a member of the 4th international and am a Trotskyist. So when those rich bourgeoisie scum show up to the tennis court in their nice ass cars, I watch from on high as they get pelted with tennis balls, and laugh as they look around in confusion and fear. One time I hit a fat bitch in the head with it.[/quote] Don't mess with this guy [quote=Anonymous Confession]I never graduated from high school. I was there for 5 years, took all the classes I was supposed to, and then when graduation time came around, they told me I hadn't met the requirements. Not one, not two, but three separate advisors had given me the wrong information. My mental health was at an all-time low, so instead of dealing with it like any normal person, I just left. Almost everyone I know thinks that I graduated. I never told my friends. I have a hidden camera on my shoe that i can control and take pics with it. I walk around dressing rooms and by girls that are wearing short skirts and take pictures, they do not know. I haven't been caught yet. I can't stand my father. When I was younger all he did was holler at me and put me down. According to him all my friends were better than me. Now that I am older he is still an ass to me. I have no feelings for the man and will not feel sorry for him when he dies. Sometimes I wish he was dead already so I wouldn't have to deal with him. When I call my mother, I get sick in the pit of my stomach when he answers the phone instead of her because I know he will say something to me just to be mean I'm closet bisexual & furry. Afraid to tell any of my family. Feel as if i'll get kicked out of the house. I like futa porn. The only friends I have anymore are on the internet. Haven't talked to any of my high school friends for at least 3 years. [/quote] How exactly do you fit a camera in your shoe? Not that I want to or anything... just curious...............
:laugh:
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16304694] That was my ex :siren:[b]girlfriend[/b]:siren: [/QUOTE] Oops, sorryz! :O
:golfclap:
no wait thats not mine -snip-
Mine didn't make it :ohdear: But my last one made v3 I think.
Good stuff. Lol. That one about that kid on the bus that told on that other guy was hilarious.
[QUOTE=CowGuy;16312400]Mine didn't make it :ohdear: But my last one made v3 I think.[/QUOTE] He's got 70+ He's probably going in order.
[QUOTE=CowGuy;16312400]Mine didn't make it :ohdear: But my last one made v3 I think.[/QUOTE] nor did mine
Good stuff. Lol. That one about that kid on the bus that told on that other guy was hilarious.
Are you gonna post another batch tonight Hezzy?
Camera in a shoe? That's stealthy.
The bus and camera shoe story's are amazing! Actually just as Hezzy i'm quite curious about that camera trick...
What exactly is a furry?
[QUOTE=AnotherDKer;16312900]The bus and camera shoe story's are amazing! Actually just as Hezzy i'm quite curious about that camera trick...[/QUOTE] You just put one of those spy button cameras with cord in your shoe and you cut out a small part [img]http://1sthiddencamera.com/UploadFiles/09_5_225252.jpg[/img] uuh I read that somewhere.. yes
[QUOTE=SFbabe;16313559]What exactly is a furry?[/QUOTE] I'd stick with not knowing. Save your precious memory cells.
[QUOTE=SFbabe;16313559]What exactly is a furry?[/QUOTE] Don't ask, you're better off not knowing.
[QUOTE=ZomBuster;16313810]You just put one of those spy button cameras with cord in your shoe and you cut out a small part [img]http://1sthiddencamera.com/UploadFiles/09_5_225252.jpg[/img] uuh I read that somewhere.. yes[/QUOTE] Haha, thanks
[quote=confession]hiya. I'll just get to the point so facepunch can laugh at my sorry ass. I have a medical condition- pectus excavatum. It basically means that my ribs grow inwards much more than they should. I first noticed it about a year ago and went with my parents to see my doctor. He didn't know much about it but suggested that i see someone with more experience in it, meaning that he realized it was a problem. The main problem with this condition is that it can constrict the lungs, and if left untreated, the heart. I could die from it. I've noticed the depression in my chest getting deeper int he past year, so it's very possible that my lungs are being constricted. I wasn't able to keep up with everyone else in basketball two years ago, despite being moderately athletic, which i guess was my first clue. There's two treatments that they use. The first involves the removal of most of the front of the rib cage in order for the bone to regrow normally. It takes a hell of a long time and is very painful, because you don't have a fucking ribcage. The second involves metal bars being inserted behind the ribs and bolted in to constantly apply pressure to the back of the ribs, pushing them outwards gradually. The bars stay in for 2-3 years before they are removed. It takes a long time and is very painful, because your bones are being pushed from the fucking inside. I like to keep my bones in my body, so i decided i'd rather have the latter. The surgeon told me that the treatment is unnecessary if the lungs aren't being restricted, so he suggested that i take an excersise stress test. But since the stress test is designed to push you to the absolute limit, i had to be tested for heart problems. I went to a hospital about an hour and a half away. There, i was tested twice. The first time, i had the sticky electrode things stuck all over me and i layed down for a few seconds. The second test involved me being smeared with smelly jelly shit by a woman at least 60 years old. She then took an ultrasound of my heart and surronding area, which took at least half an hour and was extremely uncomfortable. The test results came back and said i was a-okay to take the stress test. I went to another hospital an hour away and did some breathing excersises before getting on an excersise bike. You see, most people think that you just ride an excersise bike for an hour and you're golden. No. I got outfitted with a plastic mask that resembled that of a fighter pilot, with air tube and all. It was to measure the amount of oxygen going in and carbon dioxide going out. I then had sticky electrodes placed on me again and a clip on one of my fingers. When you start pedalling, it's easy enough, like going up a small slope. Every minute, the resistance of the pedals is raised, making it seem like you're going up a steeper hill. After 3 minutes, it felt like i was going up a fucking mountain. I managed to last a total of four and a half minutes, at which point i almost passed out. It was all i could do to walk to a chair in the room and sit down. The guy that gave me the test was pretty cool. He seemed to be in his early 30's, making him the youngest person i've interacted with on this roller coaster of shit. He gave me fruit snacks to get sugar back into my system and stayed with me until i could walk out to the waiting room again. The results for the stress test just came in a few days ago and i have to meet with the surgeon to discuss them soon. I can't say where it's going as of now, but it looks like i'll be getting implants in my chest within a year. Metal bar implants, not silicone. I've never had a problem with the appearance of my condition, but i am a little self-conscious of it. I don't like swimming much anymore because of it. I tell people that i don't mind the appearance, and that's a lie. I'd just rather not get it done because all these tests and meetings have cost over $8000 for my parents, and i feel bad about it. Meh.[/quote] I too am affected by Pectus excavatum, beyond not galavanting around shirtless its really not the worst thing in the world. Most people will never know you have it, its really a matter of how you feel. If their saying you have a heart condition going along with it, it would probably be Marfans syndrome, which if you don't already know is a connective tissue disorder that is caused by weird mutated Fibrillin-1 connective tissue. Obviously messed up connective tissue causes a lot of problems the most severe of which is an aortic root dissection which is where the layers of the aorta rupture. Personally I've been thinking about having my pectus corrected but I don't really know how id go about doing it, like weather or not its covered by healthcare(the canadian variety). My only problem is being able to schedual the recovery time into my life, which I really dont know how id get around. I understand that doctors in the U.S are much more likely to tell someone they need pectus corrected because they want to be able to charge you for the procedure. Either way best of luck with the tests hope everything turns out well.
[QUOTE=Anonymous Confession]I have a [B]hidden camera[/B] on my shoe that i can control and take pics with it.[/QUOTE] Do want
My Brother Has Pectus Excavatum. I only feel bad about it cause he does and hes always worried about how it looks.
I know someone who has one of those inverted chests. A couple of years ago while I was in a soccer team with him we persuaded him to eat cereal out of it. He didn't seem self conscious about it at all, though. Which is strange because he was really self-conscious about other things that were even less significant, like kissing his girlfriend.
I know a guy whos chest doesn't go in, but sticks out.
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