• Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v4
    1,436 replies, posted
[QUOTE=ZomBuster;16313810]You just put one of those spy button cameras with cord in your shoe and you cut out a small part [img]http://1sthiddencamera.com/UploadFiles/09_5_225252.jpg[/img] uuh I read that somewhere.. yes[/QUOTE] haha i saw that on csi
[QUOTE=Skippy!;16315370]I know someone who has one of those inverted chests. A couple of years ago while I was in a soccer team with him we persuaded him to eat cereal out of it. [/QUOTE] That's kinky.
Friend Zones make me rage, then turn the music all the way up and headbang lol. great thread btw Your doing a great job Hezzy
[QUOTE=Jimangalanga;16315433]I know a guy whos chest doesn't go in, but sticks out.[/QUOTE] same, it makes him aerodynamic does your friend by any chance live in delaware
[QUOTE=ZomBuster;16313810]You just put one of those spy button cameras with cord in your shoe and you cut out a small part [img]http://1sthiddencamera.com/UploadFiles/09_5_225252.jpg[/img] uuh I read that somewhere.. yes[/QUOTE] That looks awesome.
[QUOTE=ZomBuster;16313810]You just put one of those spy button cameras with cord in your shoe and you cut out a small part [img]http://1sthiddencamera.com/UploadFiles/09_5_225252.jpg[/img] uuh I read that somewhere.. yes[/QUOTE] Hmm awesome. Even so wouldn't you have to stick your foot right between there legs without them seeing? And if you can get into the girls changing room without them [i]moaning[/i] can you use your eyes? [editline]02:02AM[/editline] I would send one but I'm worried I might mis click and send it to my family or friends
Hezzy, post more dammit!
[QUOTE=Letters;16321477]Hezzy, post more dammit![/QUOTE] Hezzy Sensei is teaching us the art of patience.
Guys please can you format your confessions properly? When I see a massive fucking wall of text I'm not really going to want to read it. Split shit into paragraphs.
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16321767]Guys please can you format your confessions properly? When I see a massive fucking wall of text I'm not really going to want to read it. Split shit into paragraphs.[/QUOTE] You can PM me one's that you want split, I'm competent in what should be proper paragraph structure. Ease the load, after all.
[QUOTE=Canuhearme?;16321799]You can PM me one's that you want split, I'm competent in what should be proper paragraph structure. Ease the load, after all.[/QUOTE] You just want to see them early you sly dog.
[QUOTE=Skippy!;16321907]You just want to see them early you sly dog.[/QUOTE] Why would I want that? I want to ease the load, since that would mean he's able to post more Confessions.
[QUOTE=Canuhearme?;16321799]You can PM me one's that you want split, I'm competent in what should be proper paragraph structure. Ease the load, after all.[/QUOTE] [img]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb67/Ra-Tukt/load1.gif[/img]
[QUOTE=Imperials ^^;16321920][img]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb67/Ra-Tukt/load1.gif[/img][/QUOTE] Can't... look... away...
I'll ease the load too.
I have a feeling this is even more hilarious given the fact I wasn't being sarcastic, nor did I say that to see them first.
[quote=Anonymous Confession]You all might remember the last one from me about being the virgin and hating it (if there was not a lot of those already)... Anyways, I did something bad. I got into contact with a girl that I knew for a little over a year. She's quite the cutie, and I am attracted to her. However, she has a boyfriend. So everything started yesterday. I was bored on FB and saw her online. We chatted some, and decided to meet up. When I got to her house, she got in the car, and I asked "so, where do you wanna go?" and she told me "anywhere but here." I asked if my place was fine, and she said "yeah, def." So we get back to my place, and right to the basement where the giant-ass tv is. We start watching a movie, and then, we start cuddling. Felt good, but I'm laying there thinking, "what about her boyfriend?" All well. So we watch the movie, and her dad calls asking her to come home. I suggest we should meet up later that night and she agreed. At about 12:10 AM last night, we meet up again. We decided to go downtown, but decided that was too far, so we to my school and hang out on the bleachers. We talked for about a good hour. We were talking about like our relationships and shit, why we are still virgins and all this other shit. I learned she has some issues with her BF and stuff, like he ditches her sometimes, she can't trust him that much, and about her 'fallback guy' that is absolute love with her, etc. She also has a history of cheating on guys (which I knew from a while ago; I heard it from someone else). We eventually get bored there, and went back to my place. After watching some vids on the net (tourettes guy, beatboxing, etc), we move back to the basement where we start cuddling again. Well, as we were cuddling, my dick got the better of me, and I started stroking her a little. I asked her to tell me to stop if she got uncomfortable with anything I was doing and she obviously agreed. So we were laying there, my hand drifting to certain "places" where every once in a while she'd stop me, but let me do it again (damn, it felt through that skirt that she is shaved, and getting wet, and I was just getting so horny as fuck.) I was still thinking about her and her BF, so I spoke up. She said it's ok, because she doesn't even know anymore what she's going to do with him. Part of me knew she was saying that due to situational factors, and I felt bad for her BF, but my dick got the better of me. She kept saying, "I can't believe we are still virgins" and shit, and I feel like a jerk for saying it, because part of me was serious, but I said something along the lines of "well, maybe we can fix it..." she nodded no, but she alluded to sex a number of times after. I drove her home at about 4:30 AMish, after "convincing" her to stay a little longer. I knew she liked it all, which makes me feel worse after the fact. What makes me feel bad in this whole thing is that I know she has a boyfriend; but what I had her do -- what I did, and what she let me do is considered cheating. I rather not be the accessory to this, but damn did it feel good. I know it's also her fault too, so I guess that makes us both horrible people. [/quote] Yes you are both horrible people. [quote=Anonymous Confession]Last year i was playing Garry's mod at my friends house. And he had a buddy with him. I said i had to take a shower and my friend told me he could join. So we went to his shower and without me knowing it his friend came in too. I was in the middle getting fucked by my best friend and i fucked his friend. We do it alot now.[/quote] That's rather strange [quote=Anonymous Confession]Dear Hezzy, I am a masochist. I get sexual pleasure from hurting myself, especially if I direct that pain to my phallus. This has become quite a problem. For example one this one time I stuck a needle through the tip of my penis(not breaching the urethra). It really hurt but I came almost immediately. For this stunt I had to visit the hospital and had to lie about how I got it there to avoid having to go to therapy. Do you think there is something wrong with me?[/quote] You're sticking pins in your dick and you're asking me if I think there's something wrong with you? [quote=Anonymous Confession]You asked for more female answers, and this is anonymous, so this is why I am responding. I have never told anyone this, and for good reason. So please don't make fun of me! Anyway, here is my story: When I was around 10, I started masturbating on and off. After some time, I tried to find new ways to make it feel even better. I figured something rough and with texture would do the trick, so I started looking around. That is when I found a brick outside. I would regularly use it for stimulation on the surface, as penetration would be out of the question (obviously!). And it felt good, so I kept on doing every other day. After some time, the "juice" left some noticeable residue on the brick. Also, my grandma started to wonder what I was doing in my room alone for so long. And this is where this story gets even more embaressing. I was hesitant to type this out, but I have already gave enough information, so I figure the last few details won't hurt. Well, this story gets weird as my dog found my brick in my bedroom one day. She started to lick it, so I had to find another place to hide it. Plus, it added another type of texture to the brick. Anyway, after a while the brick was found and put on my patio. Now that it was noticed, I was afraid to move it again. However, I should have. You see, about a year ago we held a family reunion. At my house. In my backyard. On the patio. All the kids that came played on the patio, playing with balls, sticks, and yes, the brick. Also, my dog is pretty friendly, so she started licking everyone in sight. That is how I somehow managed to get my juice all over everyone in my extended family and dog.[/quote] I am not quite sure what to say to this [quote=Anonymous Confession]Well all I really have to talk about is that about a week ago I got added by some person on facebook that I didn't recognize and that said person sent me a message saying "long time no see". Reading that and not knowing who it was (no profile pic so couldn't know) I sent a message back acting like I was happy to see her and shit. Anyways a little forward I found out it was a girl so I was all like "possilbe dating lol" (stupid I know) So I gave her my number and then we texted. I flirted quite a bit and she did back. Eventually I got her to send me a picture of herself. I saw it and grimaced. It was a bitch that I remebered from 4th grade or something that was always as I said a bitch to me (also horribly ugly from my standpoint). After this revelation I felt very dirty after going to far in, to this day I have been ignoring her in hopes to feel get rid of this feeling.[/quote] Flirting with someone without knowing what they look like? Rookie mistake [quote=Anonymous Confession]My fapping sessions are quite interesting. I love stimulating my prostate while I fap by applying pressure to my gooch, and I eat all of my cum - I've only used tissues once or twice. I also enjoy pulling out my pubic hair and eating it while I fap.[/quote] what [quote=Anonymous Confession]I am somewhat of a perfectionist, I am afraid of failure. I hate it whenever I put hours into a pose on Gmod and whenever I post it, it usually gets ignored and forgotten or flamed to hell. How can I improve if there is no positive criticism to show me where I can focus on improving? It is also the same for things that I help with, it gets released, posted to FP, and subsequently ripped to shreds. Do the people of FP have something against me? Why the animosity? I posted a comic a few years back, and all I recieved from it was more negative bullshit. What is wrong here?I try my hardest to be creative, but I am verbally assaulted whenever I post my work here. My only question is this, Why the unabashed hate towards me?[/quote] Make a new account with a different name and try harder [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey Hezzy, how's it going? Let's see.. where can I start off? -My childhood is very similar to the OP's story of "My Homoerotic Childhood" it scares me. -I was once in a relationship with somebody over the internet that roleplayed as an anime character who was female and he was really male. Now one of my friends is in a relationship with him. I honestly hate his group of friends. They can all slowly die in a fire. -I created this email account because I wanted to create another alt. -I was about 10-11 years old when I joined facepunch. I am now 14. -I once masturbated in my school's bathroom. -My life is overall is pretty much shit. I'm poor, hardly eat any good meals, my parents might lose the house because they can't afford it, yeah all that bullshit you probably don't care about. -I often go on 7chan and read erotic literature. -Being jealous gets me harder than diamonds. Example: Say I'm married. A friend comes over for a couple of drinks, and all of a sudden he's fucking my wife. While he's fucking her she's saying "oh god i love you anonymous's friend ohhhhhh i want your huge cock in my pussy not his small little prick" Yeah. -I blocked an 11 year year old on my friends list (who is now 12) beacuse he is annoying and loves to start drama bullshit. He spent 3 months of his life stalking me then eventually gave up; as I predicted. According to him, his dad is a homosexual who now has aids and his mother has some sort of skin disease. I honestly don't give a shit. -I read a piece of erotic literature on 7chan. It was about a a 15 yr old teenager fucking his mom during a camping trip. I was erect as a flagpole while reading through it. -I used to be a social person, but not so much anymore. -I once got drunk in 3rd grade, but never drank any alcohol after that. -I shit my pants once when I was sleeping over a friend's house in 3rd grade. I bet rotting corpses covered in year old semen smelled better than that. -In second grade I used to wear my hat sideways thinking I was cool... God I was such an idiot. -I often have homicidal/suicidal thoughts. -I once masturbated in my friend's bathroom. -I used to have fantises of me sneaking into people's houses and ejaculating all over their furniture. I have plenty more, but I am too embarassed to say them even if it is anonymous. Thanks for reading.... I guess.[/quote] Breaking into someone's house and jizzing on their chairs and tables is a new one on me [quote=Anonymous Confession]This happened a few years ago when I was 13. I had a stuffed rabbit named Laura, after my crush (who I was obsessed about). Ever night when I went to sleep, I'd bring "Laura" with me. First, I would hold and fondle her as though she were a real person. Then, my hand would wander down the rabbit (and myself) and I'd do a little foreplay. Then I would experience hot, passionate sex with the bunny. I, for some reason,told my now ex-best friend about these experiences. He then promised never to tell a soul,until two days later when I decided to play a little prank on him. I took two pictures:one of myself, and the other of he and his girlfriend making out. I photoshopped the two pictures together and took out my friend so it appeared I was making out with his girlfriend. I then passed the pictures out to everyone in school.To get back at me, he told the real Laura what I did every night. Laura then proceeded to slap me so hard I swear I heard my dentist scream. I wanted to kill myself. Laura is still way hot (and I still have that rabbit even though Laura hates my guts.)[/quote] Hahahahahaha [quote=Anonymous Confession]As a reply to my "Kiss Arse Confession" just wanted to make sure you knew how good of a moderator you are. </3, Anonymous[/quote] It's ok I love it really
[QUOTE=Imperials ^^;16321920][img]http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb67/Ra-Tukt/load1.gif[/img][/QUOTE] Oh my god, I... I can't stop laughing.
Woohoo more confessions.
that was a good read hezzy.
Those were some good ones. "Breaking into someone's house and jizzing on their chairs and tables is a new one on me"
Come on Hezzy, there have to be more than that!
To the guy pissed off with his posing. It's not your fault. That whole section is a circlejerk, Retard home and a kindergarten class all in one.
I love these. Best thread on Facepunch by far.
I hope he posts the next batch soon.
Hahaha, flirting with an unknown girl on facebook, just to find out she is seriously ugly.
[QUOTE=-Matt-94;16322898]I hope he posts the next batch soon.[/QUOTE] He posted the last one an hour ago. Fucksake.
oh god I remember this confession from V3. probably bullshit but I loved it anyways [quote=anonymous confession]So I'll begin my fucked up story at the beginning. I was dating this girl, for about a year. We were happy together, and nothing bad between us ever happened. Well all good things come to an end I guess. Our bond was an emotional one, because she was a virgin until marriage, and I was willing to wait for that. But apparently she wasn't. One day early October she was in the bathroom, and she left her phone on the table where I was sitting. She got a text message (she had a Dare so it just popped up, I didn't open it and snoop around) from some guy named "Rodger :)" and the text said "You up to get dirty later?" I thought to myself what the fuck, so I began looking at her text messages. Well the phone holds a LOT of text messages. So basically I looked and found out that she'd been hooking up with this Rodger character for at least two months. I was furious. The girl I loved was fucking another guy. So I threw the phone at the bathroom door (God I wish I would have broken it) and stormed out of her house. She called me when she got out and asked me what my problem was. I told her "Don't talk to me you fucking slut, why don't you go fuck Rodger or whatever." So she was pissed off at me because I had called her a slut I guess. We had exchanged nude photos before (Being one of the only things that she wasn't against doing), so she had something to use against me. She was so mad at me (Like she has a reason to be fucking mad) that she sent the picture to my parents, my sister, and my relatives (She got the phone numbers when she got her new phone via bluetooth, because they didn't transfer her contacts so she took mine). Let's just say Thanksgiving was a bit awkward. While I was grounded for a really long time I texted her and said "I will get you back for this". And she took it as a joke. That was a fucking mistake. Time to think of a revenge plan. I had nudes of her, but sending them out wasn't good enough. I pondered and pondered and finally thought of something good. I've had a job for a long ass time. So I have a lot of cash on hand at basically any given time. I tried to use this to my advantage. She has a younger brother. And before you go off and think I'm evil for involving him, he's one fucked up little shit. He's the kind of kid that screams at his parents all day, and he even hit her on several occasions, leaving bruises. Well he happened to be 14, just starting high school this year. (Her and I are both 17 I forgot to mention). So I used this to my advantage. I have a few friends that are girls. After asking and asking around, I finally found one that was willing to do what I had in mind. I gave her $200. $100 to hit on her little brother, and give him a handjob and keep the sperm. Another $100 to never tell anyone about my plans. She's not the prettiest girl in the world, but he's a 14 year old fuck and doesn't get any. So disgustingly my friend retrieved that little shit's cum, in some jar thing. Perfect. Before she did that, I had to searc around and get some roofies. Boy these are hard to fucking find, at least on the highschool level. I talked around to all the fuck up druggie kids at my school, and finally secured some. "Good for one dose," they said, "This will knock a bitch out cold for a few hours". Just what I needed. So while these two parts to the plan were going on, I had to force one of my friends to have a party at his house. No was his first answer, but $50 and the promise of me buying all the alcohol later, he agreed. The alcohol was $130. Cool. Now I had to get someone to bring my ex to the party. I was friends with her friends. This was good I suppose. I tried to spread the party around to as many of them as possible, thinking that one of them might bring her to the party. Well, plan worked again, and she was going. Fuck yes. By the time of this party, I had already had the roofies and sperm. I also had my friend organize the party based around my ex girlfriend's period. Can you guess where this is going? I knew that she drank, and I happened to buy her favorite type of Vodka, Smirnoff or something like that. Well I hope it was her favorite kind, but it doesn't really matter as she was drinking it anyways. When she was kind of drunk I approached her and said how sorry I was for acting like an ass (Lie). She was drunk, and forgave me I think. I offered to get her another drink, and she agreed. Bam, she was in my hands completely now. So I got her a drink, and of course spiked it. She drank it, then a little while later passed out. The bad part about this though was the fact that her friends were hounding on her, and trying to take her home and acting all caring and shit. Well that wasn't part of my plan was it? So there was this one person there who I didn't know, and approached him and said "How would you like to make $50?". So I had him start a fight with some other kid (Got his ass beat lol) and everyone was distracted, leaving my ex passed out on the floor. So I took this opportunity and took her into the bathroom. So at last, I had her alone in the bathroom. Time to rape her. But not really. I had something better in mind. I pulled down her skirt, and taking out the bottle of sperm that was her brothers, emptied it into her vagina. Then I pulled her skirt up and left her there. The aftermath: She got pregnant. By her own fucking brother. Fucking brilliant if I do say so myself. I find it hard to believe at times. She was sick a few weeks after that night, and diagnosed pregnant. (which was early November) She was a VTM, which her parents believed, and they pretty much fucking ripped her apart from what I heard. Since she was VTM, she was also anti abortion. Her parents were shocked at this, and had the DNA tested or some shit because she didn't know who did it (they thought she was lying). I can't imagine the look on their face when they found it they she was impregnanted by her brother. Fucking LOL. Her parents massively fought over this, and I think they got divorced. Her and her brother aren't allowed to see each other from what I have heard around from other people, and I think she was moved to another school because she's pregnant (that or dropped out). This all happened within the month of November keep in mind. So last week, after she moved, I texted her and said "Got you back :)". She has no proof, and if she were to say it was me, would trump her own reputation. And I can't stop grinning thinking about it.[/quote]
[QUOTE=Trogdon;16323885]oh god I remember this confession from V3. probably bullshit but I loved it anyways[/QUOTE] for those who tldr'd, the story is about a guy is with a girl, she shows his nude pictures to his family. He seeks revenge, he gets his girlfriend's brother's semen, and spikes her at a party, and puts the sperm in to her vagina. She's pregnant with her own brother, her family finds out and they have a fit. [editline]09:10PM[/editline] Oh god how i loved that story.
I really hope that story is real because it is so fucking epic
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