A lot of you need to go read the other thread this forum has to offer. Hezzy knows how to find the thread and he hasn't forgotten it. You are just going to get it locked.
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Well, the brick girl story reminded me of the adventures of my own fapping toy, so here goes.
Act 1: Stuffed Lovebuddy; the beginning.
Well it all started at puberty. I remember it well, I was in my room in my dad's basement playing with a vibrating pillow, as I had quite a few times before, when suddenly, something very odd happened. I thought I had physically harmed myself, I felt some strange fluid on me. I wiped it up, sampling some of it with my hands for comparison. What comparison, you ask? Why, the comparison to the texture of piss, which I quickly went to the bathroom to investigate. The results were in, after a battery of tests, I had discovered that the fluids definitely had different chemical signatures.
I laid off the touching for probably a month or so, but eventually something brought me back to it, and the second time was much more enjoyable now that I was ready for it. I started trying out all sorts of different things to get me off, and eventually, socks rose to the top of the smelly yellow pile of failed experiments. But socks had their problems; you could only use them once or twice before they started becoming overly abrasive. Soon I had probably 2 dozen pairs of socks under my bed, and a very sore penis. I'm sure you are saying right now, "Why not just use lube+ hand like a normal person? Well, it's messy for one, and two, I can never get off with lube like I can with a nice piece of fabric. I had tried stuffed animals before, but obviously I didn't have a infinite supply of them and somebody would notice if they all disappeared, plus, they never could match the all-over stimulation and ease of a sock. Until I found a certain stuffed cat my niece had.
Act 2: The rise of Stuffed Lovebuddy
After one night of passion with that stuffed cat, I was hooked. I could wrap his legs all the way around, and his soft fabric was more than I could ever ask for. The great thing was that as long as I was careful, I never had to get cum on him, it would just land harmlessly on my chest. I still used socks, especially when he was out of commission due to a mistake, but slowly he gained a larger and larger role in my (self)love life.
At first, he was rather inflexible, and I tried fucking him from different directions, front, back, 2 legs, 4 legs, even from the side a few times. Eventually he conformed to my body and I settled on fucking him with his head facing me, although at first it kinda creeped me out; his black beady eyes staring at me as he gyrated up and down my dick. The breaking-in hit a landmark when finally my thumbs wore a hole through each of his arms, making it even easier to hold him.
And he hadn't just broke into me, I had broken into him. I became very good at using him, so much so that I eventually started having 2 hours long masturbation marathons every once in a while, giving myself huge orgasms, one time my cum hit the pillow beside my head, no joke. It was like a fairy tale. Looking back, I think he may be one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Act 3: Stuffed lovebuddy's dominion
He finally got his chance to become my one and only about a year ago, when I moved. I obviously couldn't bring all the socks, nor did want to. I pulled my bed away from the wall to find a massive pile of crusty soiled socks, and started to throw them all away. I had already been turned against the socks a bit because of the fact that I constantly worried my mom had somehow found them and thrown them in the wash, which mortified me. But when I picked up a particularly soiled socked and saw, to my extreme horror, MAGGOTS eating it, I knew I would never use socks again. So, I packed up my lovebuddy, grimacing at the thought of waiting weeks to see him again.
After a very long road trip to my new house, and then couple more weeks while we waited for the lazy ass movers to deliver all our stuff, me and SL were finally reunited. And what a night it was. He became my sole masturbatory technique for a long while, apart from my recent dip into anal stimulation, which sorta requires me to jack off my free hand, seeing how it takes two hands to hold SL. Although, it's not really threat seeing how I don't do it often due to the messiness. Recently I've become very, very good with SL, usually working for about an hour and ejaculating to just below my collar bone. I love you, my little stuffed lovebuddy. :buddy:[/quote]
this confession is a perfect mix of comedy, disgust and morbid fascination
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Sup Hezzy,
1. I'm 15 and I have never done any drugs or drunk any alcohol
2. I really have no interest in getting a girlfriend or getting laid.
3. When I was tickling my 8 year old female cousin I got a boner, I
felt like such a sick person. I was 14 at the time
4. Also when I was 10, I was over at my cousin's house (He was 7 at
the time). It was right after we had been in the spa and we were
toweling ourselves off in the bedroom on the second story (all the
adults were on the 1st). We were wrestling naked and I got him on his
stomach and I was bored so I started to lick his butt, more precisely
his asshole. Yeah weird as fuck I know but he said it felt good, (And
I also got a boner doing it) so I kept doing it. This happened on 3
separate occasions until one day his mom came in and saw me licking
his butt. She just looked away and said dinner was ready. I don't know
if she remembers but I was so embarrassed.[/quote]
"I really have no interest in getting a girlfriend"
"I was bored so I started to lick his butt"
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Yo Hezzy, numbered cause we all know you hate essays;
1. I piss off all the girls I like/that like me
2. I lost my virginity when i was 13
3. I look at porn, ALOT, even when i don't want to fap
4. I burned down this guys shed cause he stole my bike
5. I am obsessive about small things that don't matter, like the positions of pencils on a desk or how many dishes i put in the dish washer
6. I like getting into fights
7. I like fire alot
8. I have burns on my legs from when i dropped a full can of Coke into a fire
9. I am positive my house is haunted, even though i don't believe in ghosts
10. I'm still scared of the dark. I'm 16.
11. You are definitely the coolest mod ever.[/quote]
Why would you drop a coke can into a fire?
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I once had a dream where my dad died, and I somehow ended up marrying my mom. You know, the whole Oedipus complex thing. I woke up to the thought of my mom's jugs bouncing wildly as we got it on doggy-style. :([/quote]
What Would Freud Do
[quote=Anonymous Confession]When I was 9 or 10 I was at a friend's place (we are both dudes) when we discovered his dad's porn magazines. At first we didn't know how to jack off properly, so we would try to help each other and mostly just circle-jerk, or line-jerk in this instance. It was mostly just a co-operative discovery of sexuality at that point, no sexual feelings between us. He had a brother who was my age aswell, and we would eventually move onto sucking each other off, we wouldn't cum, we didn't really know how to at that age, and so we would just play with each other's dicks and give each other shitty blowjobs once in a while, sometimes in empty public washrooms.
It just so happens that my mother and their father moved in together a few years later as boyfriend and girlfriend, and after about 3 months of living together, we found their father's porn dvd's in his shit, and so we would mostly just use them for jacking off by ourselves when nobody was home, but eventually one of them asked me if I wanted him to suck my cock, I agreed, it was nothing unusual for us. For about a year we would have intense sessions of oral sex and co-operative handjobs.
One night my step-brother found his father's dildo (I have no idea why he had a dildo) and he said he had been trying to play around with it, and asked me if I wanted to try to get it in his ass, because it hurt when he did it. I put some vaseline on it and slowly put it in his asshole. At one point I took it out and put my dick inside him, I fucked him until we both came.
For the next year or so, WHILE I HAD A GIRLFRIEND, we would frequently have pretty hardcore sex. We obviously had to keep it a secret, but that made it all the more fun. One morning I woke up and walked upstairs, into my livingroom, where I saw my step-brother laying on the couch at 5 am, butt-naked, holding his screaming cat around his dick.
Yes.. He was fucking his cat in the ass.
It's safe to say I never did anything sexual with him after that, and I still question wether it was our pre-mature sexual relationship that made him perverted enough to want to have sex with his pets.
Just a note: I am not gay, I consider those experiences part of my sexual devellopment stages. I still enjoy anal stimulation (It's not gay unless you're attracted to another man, Twhich I am not, I cannot get a stiffy from another dude) but my days of homo-erotic experimentaion are over, and I only ever have sexual attractions for women now.
Although, those were still fun days.[/quote]
jesus christ
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Not so much as a confession but seeking advice... or some shit, I don't know.
**Post-Writing Edit* Looking back over this... I can't believe how massive this got... I guess I needed to talk to someone more than I thought... I usually keep things bottled up, pushed deep down. I honestly don't expect you to post this if you don't want to, I mean shit, this would take up an entire half of a page... You don't have to read it either... typing it up helps...**
I'm gay, just to get that out there... but I don't live in a very gay friendly area, in fact I live in the middle of the Bible Belt in America, where most of the crazy christians live. As if that's not enough, I live outside of a small town of 2,800 people and in a school with 257 students grades 6-12.
Since I was younger, I've never really depended on people... I always had 2-3 really close friends and that was it. Even then, the friends I had were never from school. My first friend was a black kid I met when I was like 3, he had wandered out of his enclosed neighborhood and walked down the gravel path past our house. I was outside, saw him, and we started playing. Later when I was like 8 I made friends with a 9 year old boy down the street, an 11 year old boy further down the street, and the 9 year old's 14 year old sister.
To this day the only friend remaining of these, which were my best friends in that area, is the 11 year old one.
I used to live in Florida (orlando area), when I was almost 10, we moved further south, to West Palm Beach, I made two really good friends there and that was it... I don't talk to them anymore. I try to keep in touch, but they never return my calls, they're never home, etc.
We moved again when I was 12, up to the bible belt. I've been living here over five years now and I've made ONE friend that I barely even talk to. His phone never works when I call him, but sometimes he and his girlfriend call and harass me (joking around and shit). This makes me really sad...
Since moving here, I haven't had any other friends. The kids at my school used to pick on me horridly, now they tolerate me because I'm smart and I'll help them, if not just so they'll leave me alone. I've been threatened by 'Christians' to convert or they'll bet me up, yelled at for not believing in god, yelled at for being Pro Choice instead of Pro Life (The fact that I really don't give a shit either way doesn't seem to matter to them), etc. I get shit for not having a girlfriend, etc. God forbid I let the kids there know I'm interested in Wicca.
So... because of this, and where I live, I don't get a lot of social interaction. I'm kind of stunted, I guess. One kid I knew from bowling league tournaments that I got along with I stayed over at his house when I was 16 and he wanted to have sex... he laid down next to me just to cuddle I guess and I froze up. My heartbeat went up, started breathing heavily... it took me like 30 minutes to so much as put my arm around his shoulders. I'm worried that if I get an actual boyfriend later in life, that this will play up and I won't be able to even hug someone...
Another thing that constantly tears down my self esteem is relationship issues I have... because of where I live, I have to turn to the internet to date... I've had some really good relationships on it, but they always end up fucking up. (For Clarification, I know dating on the internet is risky, but I didn't have much of a choice... I didn't get close to guys that didn't have a camera and maybe a microphone so I could actually see and hearthem, so I was partially protected from predators... but meh)
The first guy I loved lived in Wisconsin, I really got to know him, I felt connected to him. I helped him with some of his emotional problems and vice versa, he made me feel cared for, and I loved him. I was 14, he was 21. big difference, I know... but love is love right? I told him I loved him and he practically pushed me away. Shot me down, he liked me as a friend but it didn't even go as far as good friend, let alone love... Eventually my mom found out about this (First suicide attempt. Stupid reason I know now, but he was my first love you know? That's kind of an important thing. I was young and naive, took 16 Ibeuprofin pills (200mg) and went to sleep. Woke up with my mom yelling at me because I didn't clean the kitchen like she asked (she went out), sees the open bottle of pills and half drank glass of water, freaks out, calls Doctor Aunt. Turns out Ibeuprofin is harmless, I coulda taken the entire bottle and just got a mild stomach ache.
My first boyfriend I had when I was 14 had just turned 18, he lived in Iceland. We were together for like 2-3 months before I had to break up with him. By now my mom already found out I was gay and a furry and got over it, and she liked this guy, but apparently she didn't trust me since she was keylogging my computer and she found out we'd discussed bestiality, and he had admitted that he'd had passing desires to have a dog mount him. She overreacted and forced me to break up with him or she'd call the police on him. I argued that it wouldn't work because in Iceland you're legal at 14, so by his laws he wasn't a pedophile and our laws don't apply to him, so she threatened to take away my computer permanently. In lieu of dissapearing forever and worrying him because I dissapeared, I broke up with him. He understood, but we were both hurt... I don't talk to him anymore.
The next guy I loved lived really close to me, only 2 hours away. I was 15, he was 16. We'd known each other for about a year and a half, and in one of our conversations it came up that he really liked me, and that I did too. We decided to get together, we were together for a month, we even had plans for him to take a bus out, and out of the blue he tells me he doesn't love me anymore and we stop talking...
When I'm 16, by now I've been in love with a friend of mine for two and a half years, I loved him so bloody fucking much. And I miss him... I really do. He was the best boyfriend I had, writing this is making me cry, but I need to get it out to someone... I need to talk. I eventually tell him that I love him, how much I love him, how long I had. Even when his computer broke and I didn't see him for six months, I still loved him. He really likes me too, luckily, and we get together. We're dating for six months, the longest relationship I've ever had, we had plans... we'd made commitments, started working our lives around each other, and I fucked up... I fucked up so badly, I still regret it, a year later I still fucking regret it. I had met another guy that was almost completely similar to me. Same fantasies, same likes, same dislikes, EVERYTHING. I thought I loved him, thought I loved him more than my boyfriend... after a month of not knowing what to do, I finally break up with my boyfriend to be with this guy... and I hurt my boyfriend, I hurt him so much, I regret it so badly. Less than a month later, I realize to my dismay that I didn't love this new guy, it was just lust... and I fucked up my best relationship, my chance of happiness in the process. He still loved me, but he was with someone else... we drifted, and now we don't talk anymore. and I still feel horrible about it...
After this, I tried to kill myself again... I had prescription pills I was taking, ONE pill made you so fucking tired you'd be sleeping within 30 minutes, heavily. I figured if one did that, then eight would kill you... took them at night, and nothing happened. I just slept late...
Another friend of mine that I'd known for a while was there for me through it... he supported me, helped me out, I stupidly fell for him (Stupidly because he was straight). He didn't push me away when I confessed it to him. He apologized that he couldn't be all of what I needed, but he stayed with me... eventually, though, we got together. He told me he realized that it's not the body of the person that matters, but their personality, and if you love them for who they are, then that's all that matters... I find out a month or two later that he was cheating on me at the time... He was in a relationship with someone else simultaneously and he didn't know how to handle it... He didn't want to hurt either of us, so he didn't tell us. We still talk, but we're nowhere near as close as we used to be... I guess it's karma, right? Payback for what I had did...
Here's the kicker though... through this all, I'd met and befriended a wonderful girl. She was so beautiful, but you rubbed her the wrong way and she'd bite your fucking hand off... so lets call her Rose... Here, she deserves a name. By now, I'm nearing 17 (She's 2 years older than me). But I'd known Rose for years. Over 3 in fact. Nearing the end of 2008 (August or so, about 2 months after the thing with my last boyfriend) we decide to start calling each other, and she had the most wonderful voice I'd ever heard. A few weeks later, she gets a new cam (I already had mine, and she knew what I looked like for a long time) and she showed me for the first time, and I was awestruck. She was beautiful. And I'm fucking crying again... I'm sorry. This goes back, here. To the beginning, 3 years ago.
Anyway... Our relationship had started out tenative. She knew I was gay, but she liked me. But she was also an emotionally broken girl, so I supported her. I was there for her, I listened to her aches and woes, helped her feel better, No matter what happened, I was there. Be it at 2 in the afternoon or 5 in the morning. I was ALWAYS there when she needed me. As things went on, she loved me more and more, but I still only loved her as a friend. In an attempt to redirect this, so it wouldn't become problematic, we decided to become surrogate brother and sister, which she took to well, as did I. So our kinship I suppose it would be kept growing and growing. Around early 2008 I started getting jealous when she'd tell me about her boyfriends, really angry when I heard stories of her being mistreated... I wanted to be more for her, and to my dismay I realized I had fallen in love with her, a GIRL. As a gay guy, I'd loved a girl (And to this day, it has ONLY been her I was attracted to. Any other girl I do not find attractive. You show me thousands of pictures of nude girls, the most attractive models, nothing. Show me her... everything)
Anyway... Being the idiot I am (You'd think I'd learn... By now I'd loved well over 6 people and lost the chance to have a relationship with them for this very reason) I hide it. Our first phone call in August, I almost lost it and told her... but in September, I couldn't take it anymore and I did. I confessed everything to her, how much I loved her, how I felt, everything. But, stupid me, I'd waited until she got a boyfriend again. She still loved me more than anything, of course, but we couldn't be together... but we still got closer, relied on each other more. Where we'd talk over the phone once a week at most, we began talking every night when her phone got free minutes (after 9 her time). Where we would barely say anything over MSN, we both never closed the chat window, and when nothing else could be said, stating our devotion or love would suffice. I loved her more than anything in the world and then some, I would have killed myself to save my other boyfriends, but with Rose, I would have done it that much faster.
Long story short... things start to degenerate, we both made promises to each other, to this day I still mostly keep mine... I gave her my heart, and she crushed it... She lived in Alaska, and up there you get paid to live there. She was going to move down but the money wasn't enough... recently I couldn't take it anymore, being around her but not being hers even after she broke up with her boyfriend, saying I love you to her every night, every day, and hearing it from her, but it not actually BE something. More than anything else, I couldn't handle not being with her. So I had to leave. We still talk sparingly, she'll call to check up... I almost killed myself over this again, but there aren't any pills in the house capable of it and lucky me, I couldn't find the family pistol. But I find out that a week before I left, she got engaged... and that tore me up so bad. I still cry about it, at night before I go to bed... not hearing her voice, not hearing her say I love you, thinking about her and that bastard fiance of hers... He knew about me, about the connection Rose and I had, yet he moved in anyway... I understand her acceptance of it, but I still feel betrayed.
And then to top it all off, someone I'd known since I started posting on Facepunch (2004), he'd really been there for me... REALLY been there, and we got together... I just recently (last week) found out that he'd been doing the same thing as the boyfriend I had before Rose... I had even bought a ticket for him to fly out and visit...
What I don't get, what I honestly, truly don't get... even with what I did to my 4th boyfriend, I've always been sweet to them all... Loving, kind, supportive. If they didn't like something about me, I changed it. The 4th one didn't like that I swore so much, and didn't like people that drank or did drugs, so I stopped swearing as much as I could (I really cut it back, a lot) and I promised not to do any drugs or drink... I've made sacrifices for people, but asked for none in return. (again aside from my fourth boyfriend, which I regret so much) I never betrayed them... I never willingly turned my back on them, yet every single relationship ended badly. And through it all, I keep getting more and more depressed, more and more lonely. It'll be two years before I can move out of the area I live in to go to college (Lost a year due to not doing my work because of what I did to the fourth boyfriend, I felt so bad I stopped caring)... I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to get into any more relationships because I might get hurt... I feel as if fate is singling me out, picking on me. All of my other friends are in flourishing relationships, most of them have barely had any problems, and the people that live around me don't seem to have problems either, and here I am trying so hard to stay afloat in a wild sea with more and more weighs being progressively tied to my feet... I know that there ARE people out there with more problems than me, but that doesn't make mine irrelevant, does it? It doesn't make my problems any less real...
Basically... I... I don't know, Hezzy. I honestly don't know. At this point, sometimes the desire to go and kill myself is so strong I have to literally sit and hug myself as hard as I can to stop myself from getting up and doing it... I don't know what i've done in my life to deserve this... I don't know what to do...[/quote]
tl;dr, stop sending me shit like this
[quote=Anonymous Confession]This is from the guy that sent in the really really long winded Confessional. Here's something to actually put up if you want.
I just spent an hour typing up an email to Hezzy looking for an anonymous shoulder to cry on or some shit through this confessional thing, spending the entire time dredging up the absolute worst parts of my life and reliving them, crying. I finish and send the email, which will probably go unread because it's too long, and I want a drink. Naturally, we're out of most drinks, so there's milk and OJ. There's a SIP of OJ in one of the containers, but there's a new one.
Let me paint a picture in your head. These are those paper half gallon things of Orange Juice (Tropicana, Florida whatever brand) with the pull tabs under the caps.
I get the new jug.
The pull tab ring breaks on me. As if my night hasn't been bad enough.
I try pulling it off, I fucking CAN'T, because it's made of SMOOTH plastic with no grip.
I try punching the cap into the jug, but I can't because of pressure.
Fuck it, I grab a big knife from the knife holder and slice the little pour spout the cap screws onto off under the pull tab. YUP. YOU GOT IT. My hand was in the wrong fucking place, I didn't notice, and in my depression fueled "Goddamnit give me some orange juice" rage, my last slice is strong enough to rip through the last of the plastic and right into just under a quarter inch of the side and pad of my index finger, from the tip to the knuckle nearest the tip. It made a pool of blood in my hand before I got to the sink, took me 15 minutes to make it stop bleeding, and now it's bleeding again through the bandaids.
At least the orange juice tastes good...[/quote]
natural selection, too bad it wasn't your groin
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Sometimes I like to sneak into my sister's room and steal her panties, I'll masturbate in the middle of the night on my bed by rubbing my dick against my bedspread with all my thickest blankets over me. It gets so hot and sweaty, and panties are just soaked in sweat. I continue to wear them for about a month or more under my clothes, even in public, and then wash them in the laundy and quietly return them. Shit, I never realised how sick that was until I typed it out.[/quote]
it seems like a lot of brothers do this
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I have a hobby where I masturbate in public. I love it, it's fun and it's cool cause it's like I'm on the edge 'n stuff. I get a great thrill out of it. Best times I fapped were when I was in public. I'll list some places in which I've ninja fapped.
-At school, in the bathroom. Not very exciting.
-At school, during class, next to a sleeping person.
-At every friends house I've ever stayed at.
-Less than a foot away from a friend who was awake.
-While riding a four wheeler.
-In a pool, at night so it would be a few hours later when people swam in my existance.
-While browsing facepunch, how gross am I?
-Disneyland while sitting on a bench at the viewpoint of splash mountain
It's really fun, I try to fap at any temporary place I go. Public or not. My locations and feats are kinda a badge I secretly wear.[/quote]
you think that no-one sees you but a lot of people do, they just don't want to point you out or attract your attention because you're so god damn creepy. stop wearing trenchcoats and get a haircut.
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I'm eighteen years old, and I'm enlisted in the US Army. I knew full well what I was doing when I enlisted, and would make the same decision today as I did in January if I had the choice to choose again. But. for as excited as I am to ship to basic training on August 25, I'm also scared shitless. It's not a matter of being afraid of fighting, dying or being hurt. I can tell you for damn sure that I'm going to do everything I can to ensure that I get to keep all my fingers and toes, but that's not what's bothering me. And as a pilot, my level of risk is somewhat smaller than other soldiers'. I don't know exactly what has me so damn scared. The change in lifestyle, maybe? Ever since I've signed I've been practically jumping with anticipation to get out and do what I love, but when I woke up this morning I had an email from my staff sergeant telling me that I only have twenty seven days left before I leave, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. By this time next month, I'll be facedown in the dirt at bootcamp and I won't see my friends, my family, or my love for a minimum of nine months! Jesus, it just snuck up on me so damn fast.
At the gym today I worked myself harder than I had in months to try and push this shit out of my head, but it's sticking with me. I love my country, and I love that I get to protect against whatever threats may rise against it. I love that I get to do something as cool as flying hunter killer drones for my daily bread. But I've still got this horrible feeling in my gut. What the hell's wrong with me?[/quote]
Like you said, it's probably the lifestyle change and being in new surroundings that have you nervous. It's only natural, after a week or two you'll be fine.
[QUOTE=Dan2593;16465016]A lot of you need to go read the other thread this forum has to offer. Hezzy knows how to find the thread and he hasn't forgotten it. You are just going to get it locked.[/QUOTE]
Well, let's contribute to getting it locked.
He only had 7 minutes till Tuesday.
My god. He made it in time!
Love buddy guy sholda used socks once, and got them washed for reuse.
[editline]11:57PM[/editline]
"I really have no interest in getting a girlfriend"
"I was bored so I started to lick his butt"
Rated gaybow.
tl;dr, stop sending me shit like this
I got a 7 day ban for posting tl;dr, even though in the next post, 2 posts down, i made a positive contribution to the thread, and then you go and do it :'(
Of course I did, I'm awesome :c00lbert:
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16465678]Of course I did, I'm awesome :c00lbert:[/QUOTE]
Of course you are.
"I was gay and a furry " This is from the really long one, i was thinking, maybe hezzy shoulda red this, until i saw this, and no one on fp likes furries.
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16465678]Of course I did, I'm awesome :c00lbert:[/QUOTE]
unban me? :D
Fuuckk yes. confesssionaaalllls!
Hahaha, awesome :D
"I was bored so i started to lick his butt".
Oh good, glad I'm not the only one who gets this bored -.-/
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16465678]Of course I did, I'm awesome :c00lbert:[/QUOTE]
link lover is more awesome, sorry
Well done Hezzy, I think you've averted a shitstorm at the last minute.
I'm going to stop reading this thread now, because I think everybody on FP is a fucking freak. Thanks Hezzy.
[QUOTE=ssa gib A;16466121]I'm going to stop reading this thread now, because I think everybody on FP is a fucking freak. Thanks Hezzy.[/QUOTE]
And so the Anonymous Confessional Thread claims another victim...
[QUOTE=Voice;16465854]"I was gay and a furry " This is from the really long one, i was thinking, maybe hezzy shoulda red this, until i saw this, and no one on fp likes furries.
unban me? :D[/QUOTE]
no go away
Just read the really long one, it's pretty sad, if you have the time, i recommend it.
[editline]12:26AM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Christarp4;16466235]no go away[/QUOTE]
you go away.
Gay suicide webcam fellow can take ibuprofen like a tank, last time I had ibuprofen I had 2 and was pretty much stuck to the toilet for a night. It's a pity about how he's a wierd sexual deviant who terrifies me to my very core.
[QUOTE=Sh33p;16466292]Gay suicide webcam fellow can take ibuprofen like a tank, last time I had ibuprofen I had 2 and was pretty much stuck to the toilet for a night. It's a pity about how he's a wierd sexual deviant who terrifies me to my very core.[/QUOTE]
He's not that weird, he is just ghey.
[QUOTE=Sh33p;16466292]Gay suicide webcam fellow can take ibuprofen like a tank, last time I had ibuprofen I had 2 and was pretty much stuck to the toilet for a night. It's a pity about how he's a wierd sexual deviant who terrifies me to my very core.[/QUOTE]
I can easily take 400 mg of Ibuprofen... You're probably allergic.
[QUOTE=arienh4;16466642]I can easily take 400 mg of Ibuprofen... You're probably allergic.[/QUOTE]
i've never had ibuprofen, i don't think ive ever taken a pill, i cant swallow them, my throat just doesn't allow me to swallow things, just locks up, very annoying when i have a headache and cant take paracetamol.
[QUOTE=Voice;16466682]i've never had ibuprofen, i don't think ive ever taken a pill, i cant swallow them, my throat just doesn't allow me to swallow things, just locks up, very annoying when i have a headache and cant take paracetamol.[/QUOTE]
That's why you take them with water. :eng101:
[QUOTE=ssa gib A;16466121]I'm going to stop reading this thread now, because I think everybody on FP is a fucking freak. Thanks Hezzy.[/QUOTE]
Go read the bible or whatever it is you people do.
[editline]05:54PM[/editline]
Also, confessions! :D
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey Hezzy, I'm using a fake e-mail I use for my alts.
I'm fourteen, female, going to be fifteen in eighteen days now.
My confessions are that one, I would love to stay with my current boyfriend for the rest of my life. You can call me naive, a stereotypical teenage girl, but that's how I feel, that's what I want, what I dream about. And no one, not my boyfriend nor my best friend nor my family know.
Second, I have a fetish for "pet play". In short I want to see my boyfriend wearing cat ears, and a collar. He's done it too me (which I also like), we used a makeshift leech (spelling?) with a piece of cord... I won't go into detail on what we did.
Third, no one knows it, but in the run-up to my birthday recently, I can't stop crying because I know I'm not going to hear from my Dad. I don't want a present, I wouldn't care if I didn't get a card, I just want a phone-call.[/quote]
How far exactly does this "Pet Play" go? That's kinda weird IMO, probably only a stone's throw away from fursuiting and yiffing
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Sup Hezzy.
Ok what I’m about to tell you I have never told ANYONE past the people mentioned in the story. When I was six years old I was going to the pool with a friend of mine. We were changing into our swimming suits together and had some time to spare so I decided (I don’t really remember how it went down but) to have him grab my penis and I would grab his. And so, there we were, sitting in my play tent in my room grabbing each other’s penis’s. We were six and I had no idea that this was what is considered gay or that there was anything wrong with it (I AM NOT GAY) but we were bored. We then went to the pool and about half way through our time there we went to the bathroom and into a stall where we once more grabbed each other’s penis’s. If I remember correctly, at one point in the stall this big kid walked up to the door and asked us why we were in the same stall together. I don’t remember what I said.
On the way home my mother asked me what I was doing in the bathroom with my friend. I told her that we were touching each other’s penis (I had no idea that this was wrong and so just said it straight out). From what I remember she didn’t freak, she just said that it was “okay to look” but you “should never touch.” And that was the end of it.
Like I said before, I’m not gay Hezzy. It was just childhood innocence I guess.
[/quote]
hahahahaha
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Well.. here we go. The sad tale of my life. I just wanted to get this out, it's just too much.
Most of you'll call me attention whore or weak bitch. Well, I'm used to that now. As long as you don't tell me to get back in the kitchen, I don't care.
Two and a half year ago I moved from good old Norway to New York. Studies.
One day I met this guy; nice lad,always happy. So we started going out. I remember visiting him to pick up my cell, I forgot it in his car.
When I say bye and leave, he suddenly grabs me. He won't let me go.
I was stuck there for two and a half year.
Abuse is one of the things that "only happens to other". As with fires,accidents and disease.
Seems like God wanted to fuck my life up this time.
I got beat up, kicked. Got boiling water in my face. Glowing iron;that's really hot. You all know how much that hurts when applied to your skin? Oh well, guess where my scars come from.
He let me travel to Norway for a week- to meet my parents. I hadn't talked to them for two years, no wonder they rejected me.
One day I met an old friend. Actually, we were together in middle school. I visited him one day, and about an hour after I arrived there, I got a nice text from my now-being-ex, saying that it's over.
Oh well, who cares?
I moved in to my old friend. Or, more precisely, now partner.
The weeks passed. We were happy together.
One day he proposed to me. That moment was the happiest in my life. We're now married, we live a happy life.
From being gangraped and punched, I got married to the best person in the world.
Well, I don't know if Hezzy cares to post this, but anyways.. sorry to bother you.[/quote]
what
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I've only got one that comes to mind.
When I was 8 or 9 my parents took me to Washington DC. We stayed with a relative (I'm still not sure how she's related no matter how many times they've tried to explain it to me, grandmother's second cousin or something) who worked there and was able to get us a private tour of the Capitol that went to parts of the building that were normally of limits to tourists. One of these was Senator Ted Kennedy's private office. So while we're standing in there, I lean on a wooden chair that's in the room, and snap, the armrest breaks. I panic and try to put it back in place, but it's obviously broken. Luckily no one noticed, and we went on the tour, but for years I was afraid that the government was going to track me down and arrest me or something. When we went back on a class trip in 8th grade I was still afraid there would be secret service agents there waiting for me or something.
tl;dr
I'm clumsy and I'm afraid Ted Kennedy is going to murder me in my sleep. [/quote]
Your email address has been forwarded to the CIA :colbert:
[quote=Anonymous Confession] I can't believe I'm sending this in, but here it goes...
I'm 17 years old, and I've never had sex, got drunk, high, or anything of that nature.
I used to be very sociable (way too sociable, in fact. I used to have quite the reputation of being "fucking annoying", because I'd often talk about shit no one cares about, like computers and technology, way too much). Then, literally overnight (and I mean literally, in the course of one day), one random day around the beginning of the year, that completely changed.
I stopped socializing with other people in school. I don't know, it was a strange and sporadic change in my personality or something. In fact, several of my classmates who had previously disliked me because I was “so fucking annoying” even noticed these sudden changes. I suppose not talking to anyone is better than talking to people so much to the point where I'm known as the “fucking annoying” one that everyone hates....
Although I had made several new friends after that, so at least I had somebody to talk to...
Now it's summer time, and I'm out on summer vacation, except it fucking sucks. I feel terrible and miserable, despite being away from school, because I have had literally no social contact with any of my friends since summer began. Most of the new friends I made this year live on the other side of town, but since they're exactly like me in the sense that they don't socialize much and have social issues as well, contacting them has proven quite difficult. I keep trying to get in contact with an old friend who I haven't seen in years, who lives right down the street from me, but I simply can't. I don't know why, I don't know how the fuck to explain it, but I can't bring myself to simply walk over to their house and socialize with them, despite the fact that we used to be pretty much “best friends” several years ago, which brings even more anger and frustration into my already miserable summer.
I don't want to be this anti-social basement-dwelling introvert, and yet I can't bring myself to do anything about it. What the fuck...
Well, that's just something I wanted to address. I'll probably submit the lengthy Anonymous Confessional I've typed up about my fucked up and confused sexuality separately, because I'm paranoid that someone would recognize me from the information I've already given, so stay tuned for that....[/quote]
It's called puberty
[quote=Anonymous Confession]On the matter of Twilight.
Well, I do agree that the book sucks.. but I mean look at Edward!
He is just sooo dreamy... I fap to him constantly and like to have butt secks with my cat, and tape a picture of Edward on him...
I used to be a furry, but that was nothing compared to the enjoyment I have found in Edward.
Everyday I check porn sites and celebrity news, just HOPING for a sex tape of him to be found. And everyday I have left disappointed.
I have a butt plug, that is really just an bobblehead of Edward.
The way it moves and vibrates inside me, makes me really feel like his head is in there. Makes me cum every time.
Thanks for listening Hezzy.[/quote]
I couldn't leave this one out, made me laugh too much
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Heya, Hezzy! Now this is not really anonymous, since my name is in my E-mail, but I'm not going to talk about sucking horse dick or raping little girls with a dragon dildo (what the fuck).
I had an interesting story last weekend. Basically my parents were at a boating trip, and I was alone for three days. They told me to spend the 2 day (Saturday and Sunday) at my country house with my grandparents. I was a bit mad, since I couldn't spend the weekend playing L4D and STALKER.
I went to the bus station just in time for the bus. It left just as I climbed on it, in fact. I walk through the bus, admiring the pretty girls on it and sit down somewhere near the end, put my forehead to the window and look outside.
Suddenly, my phone starts to buzz. '' An SMS from my parents, most likely..'' But, no! It was a Bluetooth Note, sent from someone on the bus. '' Hi :) Ps *Bluetooth nick* '' Uhh, what the hell? Who would send an unknown person a note. I respond - '' Hey, who are you? '' I find it that the sender is a hot blonde girl, just a few seats upfront from me, sitting with a little sister. So we begin to chat through the free Bluetooth notes, I give her my Skype, she gives hers, I find out she's actually from Germany, visiting her old country for 2 weeks. I really started to like her - she was pretty good looking and was fun (at least to chat with).
She hasn't approved me in Skype, I hope it's due to the fact, that she doesn't have an internet connection in her country home, not that she thinks I'm some creepy asshole.
So, that's the story of how I got to know someone in a most interesting way. Maybe it was destiny for us to be together, due to the circumstances leading up to the note-exchange, but I'm not really a man of faith.
Sorry for the long e-mail. Have a good weekend, Hezzy. :)[/quote]
That's a pretty weird way of meeting someone
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Sup Hezzy,
I always am embarrassed when my family is on vacation in another country, it isn’t really my family that triggers that, more like my family name.
We mostly go on vacation with my father’s car from his work, a VW transporter, but just stupidly the family name was big fat painted on this car.
So what is so funny about my name, guess what, it’s Wanka. Yep, go figure. Every time we are on vacation we meet some Brits or Americans and every time, the start laughing and joking about us and this hilarious family name.
Last year this car died, finally, and of course we get a new one. I was hoping that this one just won’t get the family name painted on, but no, this time is was even the fucking contrast colour to the car’s and it is sticking out now even more than on the last one.[/quote]
Hahahaha brilliant
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Woohoo! I've been aching to get this shit out for ages.
-I watched Hentai for a short period and it seems wrong now.
-I get a kick out of flirting with other boys, even though i have a boyfriend.
-I am SO into bondage.
-I read erotic stories.
-My boyfriends a midget.
-I'm almost taller than him.
-I have sexual fantasies about vibrators killing me.
-I hate sluts.
-I hate people who are untidy.
-I love it when i know something bads going to happen.
-I'm really, really scared of sudden, loud noises.
AND I DONT EVEN HAV 2 FOLL0W RUL3S FOR FACIEPUNCH I CAN TPYE LIKE SHIT IF I FACKINGGGGG WANT TO.
anyway thanks hezzy feels great to get this off my large chest.
[/quote]
sexual fantasies about vibrators killing you? what
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I signed up for the Marines back in April or May, I can't remember but I'm sort of scared of going to bootcamp for a couple of reasons. Not so much the work and getting yelled at, but of just deciding "Fuck it all" and leaving. I've got a bad history of abanding shit that I don't want to do like I hated gym in school (I hate sports with a passion) so I cut as much as I could. I'm scared I'm going to end up doing the same thing during bootcamp, and letting everyone at home down, escpecially my dad and my recrueter because he busted his ass to get me in.
Another reason is I've got a really embrassing anexiety of riding in a car or some kind of enclosed vechicle without a bathroom because as soon as I get in I've got to piss. Even If I just went to the bathroom. It's basicially like this: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHFVqWv_CVs[/media] except it's not about trying to write a story, it's about pissing all over yourself. I can somewhat get past it if instead of sucking in my gut, and and trying despratly hard not to piss, which is what I did at first, I just let out my gut and relax (but that olny works if I take a piss just before I get in the car) The other thing I do is just listen to my mp3 player to take my mind of things.
The Job I picked was MP. It's a 5 year job or so, I'm fine with that. Part of it is infantry which is alright sort of, but after watching Born on the fourth of July with Tom Cruise (Fuck you, he's a good actor) I'm terrified of losing the ability to walk or use my arms, and even more so losing limbs altogether.
-I'm 18 years old, and a virgin. I'm good looking from what I hear, but I just can't seem to get into a relationship with a girl. I always gradually get shoved into the dreaded friend zone. I used to get depressed as fuck when it happened, but now whenever it happens I just think fuck 'em and completely forget they exist. I'm alright with being a virgin, and somewhat scared of sex, but if the oppurtunity ever came about (no pun intended) I'd jump right on it.
-I hate talking to people that I don't have to talk to
-I've got about 20 something alt's on FP
-I used to hate the shit out of postal because he used to ban me and all of my accounts all the time, but after I heard he didn't have a drivers licence, I felt kind of bad for him because I didn't get mine untill the 5th time and it was really depressing (I can drive, i just kept fucking up on the test because I hate tests)
-I'm so much different than what I seem like in real life.
-In 5th grade, my spanish class had this classwide cooking thing where you cook something and bring it in. I jacked off in mine.
-I'm kind of scared of getting fat, because everyone around me is getting fat as hell.
-I'm obsessed with vagina's. The first thing I think about when I meet a girl is how much I want to eat her out.
[/quote]
you signed up as a marine and you haven't had sex?
you're gonna die a virgin
oj, you're going to lose your virginity with a prostitute and get a STI, gratz
Hezzy posts and the thread just dies
everybody must be off fappin' or somethin'
[B]EDIT:[/B] more confessions, yay
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