• Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v4
    1,436 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16234850]I have another 19 or so in my inbox, some of them are junk though[/QUOTE] I was actually talking about that guy who got banned.
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I feel like a shallow person. There was this girl I met when I went away for the summer and we texted and flirted with each other a lot. I was really interested in her and everything. Then one time we had a discussion about nude pics sent over text messages and I hinted to her and she got mad. After that I kinda didn't really care about her anymore and didn't know why ( wasn't immediately after the incident ) then I realized I only wanted nude pics from her and nothing else...[/quote] When you say you were really interested in her, do you mean her body or actually her? Sounds like the former. [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hi hezzy I just want to say that I used to respect you a lot. I kinda looked up to you, like an Internet role model. This went on for awhile but then one day, rather recently, I saw a picture of you. I lol'd Sorry[/quote] I'm sure another buttlicker will squeeze in to fill the tiny ickle space you had in my heart [quote=Anonymous Confession]I pushed my ex-girlfriend to move because i said she would be happier that way, i really just wanted it to be easier when i broke up with her.[/quote] When I read this I had a mental image of someone trying to roll a really fat woman out of a room [quote=Anonymous Confession]I sometimes use the shower nozzle to clean myself after taking a shit. The water blasting onto my asshole really cleans it thoroughly. There was this one time when the force of the water was too strong, and some water entered my ass. A bit like a mini enema, if you will. It surprised me a little, and I involuntarily pushed. Come shit came squirting out, and a good small lump splatted onto the shower nozzle. Now, I made this confession not because of this act, but because I didn't clean the nozzel, and that small lump of shit has been there even since and no one noticed it at all. It's been there for over three months now. Oh well. It's a small price to pay to have an ultra-clean asshole.[/quote] That's disgusting, think about who else has to use the shower. Go clean it. [quote=Anonymous Confession]Alright, so mine are probably gonna be pretty lame, but here goes. I write porn about my friends. All of whom are guys. I've attempted suicide. Three times. Oh, here's a good one: I've used the vaccum cleaner as a sex toy.. I've punched a Twilight fan in the gut. Turns out she was pregnant. Oops. That's all I've got. :D[/quote] You can't say that you write porn about your friends and not send in a sample of your work. That's no fun for Facepunch. Maybe you should elaborate on the suicide attempts I cannot see using a vacuum cleaner as a sex toy ending well Natural selection [quote=Anonymous Confession]Well to start off, I Once threw a stone at a bird and accidentely killed it. I quickly ran off and I haven't forgiven myself for it after all these years. A little more than half my friends are bisexual, less than half of them have came out to me. Even though I already know... I had an affair with my ex girlfriend, with her best friend. And to this day she doesn't know shit about it. I always feel secluded in my own little mind, this is a rather odd sensitivity for it makes me distant from others at times. I Can't spell friend for shit... I once played my guitar naked, Why? I have no fucking idea... On occaison, semen will leak from my dick when I am not ejaculating. Just at casual moments.[/quote] Define "casual moments"? Maybe you've got a STI [quote=Anonymous Confession]During my formative years, around the fourth grade, I experimented with eating my own shit. During class, at home, lots of times - I would stick my finger up my ass, take a little piece of turd out, and stick it in my mouth. I loved the taste, texture - everything. It felt like I was doing something risky, something thrilling. I'm honestly surprised no one noticed, as I would be in the middle of my 10-year-old peers and have my hand up my ass. [/quote] what [quote=Anonymous Confession]Sup hezzy. I wear briefs, and I myself feel uncomfortable talking about that. Even though they may be dorky I like them. They let me know where my dick is, instead of it flopping around everywhere, and they are comfortable![/quote] Try boxer briefs. They're tight boxers. [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hrm. I hope I'm not one of the only girls doing this. Anyways, I'll list 'em. -I used to masturbate. A lot. Since I was about ten. But I didn't really know what I was doing. I stopped when I was sixteen. I was kind of starting to get tired of it and sick of myself for doing it. I realized I didn't need to do it to be happy. -I am waiting for marriage to have sex. My boyfriend isn't a virgin though because he gave his virginity away to some bitch who didn't deserve him. I'm scared that I won't satisfy him once we do get married because he already has an idea of what sex is supposed to be like. :( -My boyfriend and I both have a huge fear of me having a kid once we're older because we're afraid that I might die during childbirth. I'm really small and am barely over 100 lbs. But I really want twin boys. -I've been drifting away from my faith for a long time (I'm a Christian, raised in a Christian family with a father who is a Pastor. We're not the insane Christians who think Harry Potter is demonic. We're more laid back and...not crazy.) But recently I've been going back to God. I always get a little mad when people say all Christians are crazy, especially some of the people here. But then I remember that it's FacePunch and I ignore it. -I came onto FacePunch because I honestly thought that there would be almost no females on this forum. I like to be different, I guess. -I like to curse. A lot. And it's getting really hard to hide it from my parents. Lame, I know, but it felt nice to get this stuff off my chest. :][/quote] We don't get enough girls doing this. Please girls, send in some confessions. Let us have an insight into that perplexing woman's mind of yours. [quote=Anonymous Confession]I like to have my dog lick my asshole while I masturbate. He still won't mount me though.[/quote] Great
Shouldn't you be in the Admin Control Panel giving me a title? [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Get off this website, you're no longer welcome" - Hezzy))[/highlight]
Fuck this thread starts the day before I go away :'( I still love you hezzy
Every batch of confessions is like a batch of cookies. :angel:
Such quick updates! :gizz:
baked to perfection, sprinkled with incest and shit
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16235235]baked to perfection, sprinkled with incest and shit[/QUOTE] Yes please :q:
[QUOTE=Frateli;16235180]Shouldn't you be in the Admin Control Panel giving me a title? [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Get off this website, you're no longer welcome" - Hezzy))[/highlight][/QUOTE] [img]http://thesituationist.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/monkey_smile.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=Anonymous Confession;16235166]Alright, so mine are probably gonna be pretty lame, but here goes. I write porn about my friends. All of whom are guys. I've attempted suicide. Three times. Oh, here's a good one: I've used the vaccum cleaner as a sex toy.. I've punched a Twilight fan in the gut. Turns out she was pregnant. Oops. That's all I've got. :D[/QUOTE] I would like more insight on this. To the guy who ate his own shit in front of peers, are you at all popular now? If not, they noticed.
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16235235]baked to perfection, sprinkled with other people's incest and shit[/QUOTE] Fixed.
go to sleep hezzy
[QUOTE=fragmaplas;16235289]go to sleep hezzy[/QUOTE] It's like 8 or 9 am there.
I laughed at "Natural Selection".
Oh, internet. :rolleyes:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NPAsa6w3Tk[/media]
I'm tempted to send one in, but I can't help think there's a big billboard on Hezzy's roof that lists all of these with our names.
hezzy i luv u. Rate me late all you want, I was too busy reading to post
[QUOTE=Soulbrother;16235312]It's like 8 or 9 am there.[/QUOTE] well i dont no much about time over there in communist land but here in america it's past midnight
[QUOTE=Zeke129;16235364]I'm tempted to send one in, but I can't help think there's a big billboard on Hezzy's roof that lists all of these with our names.[/QUOTE] Of course not, Eric Henderson of 3240 Crescent Street, Topeka, Kansas.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;16235364]I'm tempted to send one in, but I can't help think there's a big billboard on Hezzy's roof that lists all of these with our names.[/QUOTE] Create an alternate email account. [editline]02:19AM[/editline] [QUOTE=lmaoboat;16235403]Of course not, Eric Henderson of 3240 Crescent Street, Topeka, Kansas.[/QUOTE] :ohdear:
FUCK yes, it's back :3:
Why'd it take you so long to make v4 of the thread Hezzy?
You should put all these in a book and sell it for £5 each. "The Facepunch Confessionals" You would make millions.
These are hilarious. [editline]09:57AM[/editline] This thread is getting more views than any other thread in GD
Some of these confessions freak me out.
I sent one. Dunno if it was a good idea though.
Some of these sound ridiculously outrageous.
My email addy is the same as my Username, so i wont be making my confessions public :p
[QUOTE=Hamushka11;16234802]thatsnotsexy.com......... :bang::barf:[/QUOTE] :crying:
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