• Facepunch Anonymous Confessional v4
    1,436 replies, posted
I'm kinda disappointed that we haven't had another "Page 15".
Hey fucktards, be patient. Hezzy is doing something nice without asking anything in return, the least you could do is not act like dickheads to him.
:siren: brown noser alert!! :siren:
[QUOTE=Zeke129;16557309]Make some up, we won't know the difference.[/QUOTE] Those would probably be more realistic than the ones we're getting.
[QUOTE=evlbzltyr;16506314]Oh god, there was actually a remake like that which my english teacher, god knows why, made us watch. It was horrendous.[/QUOTE] Ha, our Finnish (native language here :rolleyes:) teacher made us watch it too. It was fucking weird. I mean, why did that black guy dress as a woman? Why did that white guy lick his own nipple? NONE OF THAT SHIT MADE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER.
I sent one in ages ago, though it'd probably be obvious now to people who talk to me regularly. It wasn't much of a confession and I can barely remember what I wrote anyway.
Quick people, submit confessions!
[QUOTE=James*;16566117]:siren: brown noser alert!! :siren:[/QUOTE] Yeah man he's totally sucking up to me for pointing out that you guys are being ungrateful pricks
I enjoy these , but i don't see why people get so whiny and bitchy about them when hezzy doesn't post 50 of them a day
[QUOTE=Skippy Sigma;16565855]Hey fucktards, be patient. Hezzy is doing something nice without asking anything in return, the least you could do is not act like dickheads to him.[/QUOTE] what does hezzy's ass taste like?
[QUOTE=Dank Dave;16572579]what does hezzy's ass taste like?[/QUOTE] [I]Taste like victory![/I] :eng101:
I sent one in, because it seems Hezzy needs confessions.
...Hezzy...
Hezzeh mah bro,where art thou?
[QUOTE=flyboy463;16586936]Hezzeh mah bro,where art thou?[/QUOTE] Cut him a fucking break. He is trying to have a lan party. Go read some incest stories on google or something.
I have Madness albums to help me through the time waiting for confesions, oh yeah and a social life :3:
[QUOTE=Dan2593;16586987]Cut him a fucking break. He is trying to have a lan party. Go read some incest stories on google or something.[/QUOTE] Is i37 still going on?
[QUOTE=flyboy463;16586936]Hezzeh mah bro,where art thou?[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Dan2593;16586987]Cut him a fucking break. He is trying to have a lan party. Go read some incest stories on google or something.[/QUOTE] [url]http://www.asstr.org[/url]
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Alright so I sent one in but it was kind of long so you probably didn't read it. Have a shorter version. -I was really drunk at a party and wowing people with butterfly knife tricks. A dick I hate for several reasons walked up and started heckling, so I "accidentally" let the knife go and buried it in his leg. Everybody thinks it was a mistake just because I was drunk. He now walks kind of funny since the knife messed up his muscle or something. - I once fapped and as I was about to cum my ferret popped up out of nowhere. I didn't have time to redirect myself so I came on it. I found it really funny because she spazzed out and hopped around my floor. -Back when I was young and in love with this chick I would use this stuffed animal she gave to to wank with because it reminded me of her and smelled like her (she nuked it with her perfume before giving it to me). I now realize that was really weird and furry like, I am not a furry in any way. - As a child I got really really horn about fantasizing about turning into a girl. I didn't know how to masturbate so I just laid there with a massive erection thinking about it. I think I just wanted to be able to look at myself because I never fantasized about doing guys or anything. - I would put on my sister's and mom's clothes to further the fantasizing. - I discovered fapping at an amusement park when I was thinking about a girl I liked and my dick was flapping about in my boxers. I tried to recreate it later that night and voila, fapping. - In kindergarten I was extremely violent. I threatened to shoot a kid. My parents thought I would be that kid that walked into school and started spraying bullets out an uzi. I now have chilled out a ton but I came home one day and told my mom, "I met a boy on the bus today and we're gonna blow up the world then live in a space ship." She thought I was going to say "gonna play and stuff" she got really worried after that. - I am now going out with another girl, and it is really nice and I care about her a lot, but she is moving in January so it is really difficult to think about :crying:.[/quote] great, just great [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hi again, Hezzy. I'm the furry that's afraid of coming out. I just wanted to tell you that I don't look at furry porn. I don't even fap to regular hentai with humans in it. Well, not anymore. -- "Hey, Vincent, don't you see? That shit don't matter. You're judging this shit the wrong way. I mean, it could be that God stopped the bullets, or He changed Coke to Pepsi, He found my fucking car keys. You don't judge shit like this based on merit. Now, whether or not what we experienced was an "according to Hoyle" miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved." ~Jules Winnfield[/quote] pretty boring confession but i included it because of the email signature lol [quote=Anonymous Confession]Alright Hezzy. For some reason i've started liking you lately. I've noticed that a couple of people are making threads about you, and say not so kind stuff. Seriosuly, i imagine setting myself in your spot and i don't know. I would feel REEEEally fucking bad.. I saw this thread here [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=785016[/url] I saw that you posted in it some way down, but you didn't lock and ban or do anything at all but VNL did. I wondered why you didn't do that. I thought up a reason, again setting myself in your place, i would be so much let down that i'd probably get a little paralysed and just stone a little. You're acting like a real tough guy as everyone on the internet would do, but well in real life we're all nice persons (hopefully) and can actually get sad even though we don't show it over the internet. I was just wondering if that would be the case with you there... Also, i don't think you're ugly or anything, you look like a nice guy :)[/quote] I didn't ban him or lock the thread because I like to see where stuff goes. Plus everyone is entitled to their own opinion, regardless of whether or not they're an ungrateful idiot They're just words on the internet [quote=Anonymous Confession]I have a strange and very odd fetish/desire to dress up in my sisters clothes when she is out or when she's asleep in my own room and put on her makeup and do odd things while dressed in her clothes. I really like dressing up in her clothes and makeup and it feels almost natural.[/quote] Good for you, champ [quote=Anonymous Confession]I have a few secrets that'd I'd like to share with good old facepunch. -I was molested by a high school senior when I was about six. I can't really remember too much about it, but its kinda what made me gay. -I, like so many others it seems, experimented with my cousin when I was about eleven. I probably gave him a dozen blowjobs and still fantasize about sucking his dick. -I know I'm gay, but I don't really like to look at gay porn. I prefer bukkake or cumshot. -Whenever I jerk off in the shower I love to cum all over my face and in my mouth, tastes and feels amazing, though I feel like a total whore after. -Lots of times I wear girls underwear just for the fun of it. -I'll stick almost anything that can fit up my ass and I love every minute of it. -Despite being gay and loving cock, I'm not really that gay. I listen to a lot of metal and I don't really affiliate with any other gay guys. Nor do I talk in a high voice and say things like delicious or faboulous. And i have no sense of style whatsoever. -I attempted suicide once, stupidest thing I've ever done. Right when I kicked the stool away and felt the pressure on my neck I realized that I was over reacting and my problems weren't all that bad. -I tend to get a little crazy when it comes to revenge, I'm not gonna go into too much detail, but a couple years ago I burned down a guys house to get back him. He deserved it. -I tried shaving my pubes a few weeks ago, didn't go very well. Made my dick look bigger but just felt weird to have no hair down there. -Oh, and last but not least, my all time fantasy would be to be tied up and blindfolded while a bunch of guys fuck me and come all over my face. I know, I'm a god damn whore and I don't care.[/quote] This is like seven shades of crazy [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey, Hezzy! I got 2 serious questions for you: 1) I got this cousin and she's in cadets. She has big tits and really hot. I want to score with her. How do I do it? And same with my sister. She's single now. 2) How do I score with girls at my school? I wanna fuck now! [/quote] 1) You don't. 2) Taking into account your previous question, you don't. [quote=Anonymous Confession]I really hope this is anonymous. I think I'm developing commitment issues, and I really have no idea why. When I was pretty young I started dating this girl, and we ended up staying together all throughout Jr. High and High School. When my senior year came around (She was a year older then me, so already graduated) we got into a huge fight and couldn't really fix things from there. For several months I couldn't do anything but think about her, it literally tore me up on the inside on a very deep level and I literally thought about suicide at times, until I convinced myself that it was nothing that serious. After that she started fucking around with my best friend whom I had known since I was in 1st grade, and he eventually knocked her up on accident. His response was to force her to get an abortion or else he wouldn't be there for the child. Needless to say we don't talk much anymore. Took me almost two years to get over her. And I finally met another girl who is literally the nicest and most understanding person I've ever met. She's even completely O.K with the fact that I already have a child. But the real problem is, after all that shit that went down with my first girlfriend, I feel like I can't really trust someone in a relationship anymore. I know she wouldn't do something like that to me, and I know she's more then willing to help me with the bullshit I'm still going through involving her. But I can't connect with her on a person level. Every time we talk I feel distant and that maybe I shouldn't be in another relationship again to protect myself. And it doesn't help the situation when from time to time I get these really strong feelings for my first girlfriend whom I had been with for almost 4 years. Is this normal? Can you ever go back to having a normal relationship after something like this happens? Because I know I'm not the first person that this has happened too. Oh yeah, I've also fucked around with my cousin when I was at least 5 years older then her, and I feel pretty terrible about it. Although I feel like I got off the hook since she doesn't remember (I think). And I have nude pictures of my ex saved just in case I feel like she wants to start shit.[/quote] Whoa, hold on there buddy. You say the kid wasn't yours, but it is? What's going on there. [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey fp, this is the first confession i've ever made in my life. I love my girlfriend of quite a few years now, but everytime we're in the bedroom, i'm not satisfied unless she's being treat badly. Whether it be choking/slapping/biting/spanking i don't care. I want her to be suffering while i pound the shit out of her. I suffocated her once with a pillow while i fucked her. She was blue in the face by the time we both came. She was flailing and trying to scream. I didn't care. It made me harder. That day i bruised her internally. She forgives me each time, but i find myself having to hold back and becoming more and more frustrated. I want to fuck her in the ass until she screams bloody murder. She hates Anal. I like it more because of that. I'm not a bad person normally, but get me in the bedroom and you better fucking pray to god i'll stop before it gets too much. I've bitten her tits so hard she had teeth-shaped bruises. I want her to feel pain with her pleasure. She does get off to it usually as well. I always feel guilty though. Is that so wrong of me? What is wrong with me...[/quote] Nothing is wrong with you, that's how most women want to be treated in the bedroom IME [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hi. I'm pretty boring. But because you ladies like sexual stories. When I was 16 I started talking to one of my really good family friends via text. I always started our text convo's with "wat you wearin love" And she'd always tell me. Then one day I asked her what kind of underwear she was wearing. And she said. Why bother telling you when I could show you. And she sent me 6 pictures of her in her underwear. It was very hot. It just kept going on like that for a week. Then She was horny and sent me a picture of her self naked. And I fapped. But then I remembered that she was only 13. I've been fapping to a 13 year old girl's new tits. Worse part is that I still have the pics on one of my email addresses and sometimes fap to them still. and when I'm done I always vow to delete them because it's so gross.b but I never do.[/quote] I probably wouldn't be texting 13 year olds "wat u wearin love" in the first place to be honest [quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey, it's the guy who listened to Muse while fapping. I did it again. Was worth it.[/quote] Kudos, which song was it this time?
facepunch is fucked up
Whooo, Muse :D
Man, the girlfriend and the sexual confessions is starting to get boring..
[quote=Anonymous]Hi again, Hezzy. I'm the furry that's afraid of coming out. I just wanted to tell you that I don't look at furry porn. I don't even fap to regular hentai with humans in it. Well, not anymore. -- "Hey, Vincent, don't you see? That shit don't matter. You're judging this shit the wrong way. I mean, it could be that God stopped the bullets, or He changed Coke to Pepsi, He found my fucking car keys. You don't judge shit like this based on merit. Now, whether or not what we experienced was an "according to Hoyle" miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved." ~Jules Winnfield[/quote] i wonder if god made him a furry
[quote] -Despite being gay and loving cock, I'm not really that gay. I listen to a lot of metal and I don't really affiliate with any other gay guys. Nor do I talk in a high voice and say things like delicious or faboulous. And i have no sense of style whatsoever. [/quote] How does listening to metal make you "not as gay"?
[QUOTE=PromiscuousPancake;16595511]How does listening to metal make you "not as gay"?[/QUOTE] Some sort of special gay magic.
[QUOTE=PromiscuousPancake;16595511]How does listening to metal make you "not as gay"?[/QUOTE] Everyone knows metal is degayderant.
[QUOTE=peabrain101;16596023]Everyone knows metal is degayderant.[/QUOTE] IS that a word
[quote]I'll put them in number forms and try to get them in detail. 1.) I have experimented with my cousin, as in I sucked his dick a little, and he sucked mine.. but he done it until I cummed, which felt good, but I'm not homosexual.. I might be bisexual, but I don't really know. 2.) I stuck my dick in an electrical socket, it felt very, VERY bad. 3.) I've pooped on my cousins (girl) chest before, but she wanted me too, I didn't do it because I wanted to. We where talking about how birds poop (we both have pet birds) and it's sometimes hard to clean up and it went to something like this. "Yeah bird poop is hard to clean" "so is human poop, if the toilet gets clogged." "yea one time I pooped so much it overflowed" "hey you wanna poop on my chest?" "uhm.. k?" 4.) I once had a blowjob in the 4th grade by a girl. I was talking to my friends and she hands me this note, and it said something like "I heard you liked me, well lets have some fun in the bathroom at 1:00." She was VERY attractive and one of the most popular kids in school. It was so fucking great. 5.) I have cummed on my keyboard so many times, just because I like it sticky for some odd reason. 6.) I fantasize about going through school with a sword and just killing everyone, and every time I do, it ends with me jumping off a table and slicing my principles head off, then getting laid by one of the girls I like. I know it wasn't much, but I'll probably come back with more.[/quote] Didn't Prisimax post this on his thread?
Hezzy's giving pretty good advice, take note confessionees.
[quote=hezzy;16239608]i don't know. Something about facepunch makes me think it is true. Look at minicooper in the oify - people dared him to post pictures of himself using an anal dildo and he did.[/quote] my friend's surname is cooper. ... ... :/
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