[quote=Holy Shit what]Hey, Hezzy!
I got 2 serious questions for you:
1) I got this cousin and she's in cadets. She has big tits and really hot. I want to score with her. How do I do it? And same with my sister. She's single now.[/quote]
Get completly naked and jump out at her. She will act like she is scared incase anybody is watching. The truth is, she wants it. Make her take it. Force her too. She will cry "rape" and shit but that means "I love you" in girl lingo.
Then brag to all your friends how your got a girl to say "rape". You will be awarded with your own place with your own running water, free food and a bed. It's only one room though. And the walls and floors are grey. And their are bars on the windows. But it's cool.
As for your sister. Crawl into her bed naked while she sleeps. I guarantee she will say "I disown you". Which means it's not incest! Tell your friends this too.
[QUOTE=ashxu;16599544]i kinda noticed that but still.[/QUOTE]
dude you have an a in your username are you trying to steal my identity?
i know your username is ashxu and my name is dave but still
Thanks to the Internet, I'm honestly starting to believe that there are more Furries than Normal people now =/
That batch was WEAK.
Come on kids you are more fucked up than THAT
[QUOTE=Sockpuppetss;16610096]That batch was WEAK.
Come on kids you are more fucked up than THAT[/QUOTE]
All the good ones have gone.
cum, and gone
Thank you for the title hezzy i loved it while it was there
Nice batch.
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16591122]pretty boring confession but i included it because of the email signature lol
[/QUOTE]
Now if he emails someone, they will know who it was.
"Anonymous" confessions, Hezzy. :downs:
Fuck, I forgot the email I created for this.
[editline]10:55AM[/editline]
Oh well.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;16616181]Now if he emails someone, they will know who it was.
"Anonymous" confessions, Hezzy. :downs:[/QUOTE]
Only if they're a fucking idiot and don't know how to change their sig; then they deserve it.
[QUOTE=dcalde78;16620683]Fuck, I forgot the email I created for this.
[editline]10:55AM[/editline]
Oh well.[/QUOTE]
I'll PM you the one I made for mine before I realized I have no uber-cool twincest cp hardcore erotica stories
[editline]lol[/editline]
Fuck, wait, no, I made this account with that email. :saddowns:
Meh, my confessions are boring anyway, thy'd never make it in, so it doesn't matter.
[QUOTE=cheesylard;16615182]Thank you for the title hezzy i love it[/QUOTE]
How much did you bribe him?
[QUOTE=Dan2593;16620980]How much did you bribe him?[/QUOTE]
Prehaps he sucked Hezzy's gaping vagina.
I want to have violent sex. With biting her boobs and thighs and ass.
[editline]11:38PM[/editline]
I want to leave marks on her for days after.
[QUOTE=RAWRrrr;16621749]I want to have violent sex. With biting her boobs and thighs and ass.
[editline]11:38PM[/editline]
I want to leave marks on her for days after.[/QUOTE]
Is this you?:
[quote=Anonymous Confession]
Hey fp, this is the first confession i've ever made in my life.
I love my girlfriend of quite a few years now, but everytime we're in the bedroom, i'm not satisfied unless she's being treat badly.
Whether it be choking/slapping/biting/spanking i don't care. I want her to be suffering while i pound the shit out of her.
I suffocated her once with a pillow while i fucked her. She was blue in the face by the time we both came. She was flailing and trying to scream. I didn't care. It made me harder. That day i bruised her internally.
She forgives me each time, but i find myself having to hold back and becoming more and more frustrated. I want to fuck her in the ass until she screams bloody murder. She hates Anal. I like it more because of that.
I'm not a bad person normally, but get me in the bedroom and you better fucking pray to god i'll stop before it gets too much.
I've bitten her tits so hard she had teeth-shaped bruises.
I want her to feel pain with her pleasure. She does get off to it usually as well. I always feel guilty though.
Is that so wrong of me?
What is wrong with me...
[/quote]
:aaa:
[QUOTE=Druchii;16621814]Is this you?:
:aaa:[/QUOTE]
Looks like it! LOL If you read his other threads you can clearly see that he has violent tendencies toward this one girl in particular. Her name is Amber. She's a whore.
How DARE this slip past page 2! I sent in another really good one just to make sure Hezzy doesn't let this die.
[QUOTE=Hezzy;16591122]
1) You don't.
2) Taking into account your previous question, you don't.
[/QUOTE]
Hey, mine was posted! First was kinda a joke but second was for real.
Thanks Hezzy!
I love you. :bravo:
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Does not understand the concept of "ANONYMOUS" confessions" - Hezzy))[/highlight]
-snip-
[QUOTE=AuoraWolf;16641395]Hey, mine was posted! First was kinda a joke but second was for real.
Thanks Hezzy!
I love you. :bravo:[/QUOTE]
Well done dumbass, it's meant to be anonymous.
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I have a few confessions, though I'm sorry if they are a bit boring. :[
-I hate the time period I was born in. I would gladly give up every bit of technology we have today to go back to the 70s or 80s. Even the 50s would be pretty cool
-I can program my calculator at school to do almost anything, so I usually don't have to remember the lesson that day at all. Before big tests I'll always program a shit-ton of notes in the thing, so I pass most all the time. It's funny because no one else knows how to program calculators. Once I made a "virus" on a calculator and some girl found it and turned it on in class. We had to stop class for a while just to figure out what was going on with the calculator. It was kinda funny
-I've often fantasized that one day I show up to school late and a group of guys are walking in planning to shoot up the school, and I knock them both out and become a hero or something. It's fucking weird
-Sometimes I like looking at Hentai more than I do actual porn. Porn is always the same. Every video or picture is almost exactly the same too. At least Hentai gives a new look to it, and the girls don't usually look ugly. I'm not usually ashamed of it either. I just don't care. I'm also not ashamed to say that some of my favorite kind is girls with purple or blonde hair, and I find stockings to be pretty hot
Probably the biggest confession:
-I currently like one of my friends(Girl), but everytime I had a chance with her, she was already in a relationship. She found out I liked her long ago, and pretty much told me that she would go out with me if she wasn't going out with her current boyfriend. She broke up with him about a year later, and when she told me about it, all I said was, "Cool". I feel like an asshole now, because I pretty much ignored her for that whole year of school and for no reason at all, and also ruining any chances I had with her. I think she actually liked me too, thinking back on it. I also didn't talk to her for the year after that much at all either. I got her number a few months ago and I've texted her constantly for about half a year. I'd make a move, but currently she already has a boyfriend, and if she breaks up with him it won't do shit, because apparently another of her friends really likes her as well(And she likes him back). Strangely though, her boyfriend doesn't hate me. I've bee
n to the movies with her a couple of times. Once with him knowing and once with him there, and he doesn't seem to care. I don't think either of them know that I like her though (Not many people do). She's one of my best friends and loves video games, so I don't want to screw anything up. I mean, even if I do ask her out, I fear that she may reject me and the whole friendship would just be awkward. What should I do Hezzy?
[/quote]
If she's your best friend it's probably just better to stay friends
[quote=Anonymous Confession]So Hezzy and FP, I'm a girl and I have a story to tell.
A few years back I was in my first relationship. My boyfriend at the time was clinically depressed, had eating disorders and was an alcoholic. We were both a bit scared of body contact so in our 6 month long relationship we never got further than hugs and kisses, which bothered me because I felt there was something more I wanted from him.
We were both very discreet and especially my boyfriend did not wish to have our relationship be an open one at school or among friends as we feared the massive amount of negativity we'd presumably face would break the relationship. This resulted in my boyfriend being very throughout. He asked me to change his name on my mobile to something else, and he'd do it vise versa on his. I called him Dan and he called me Alexandra.
Everything went bad when he was forced to stay at a mental institution for a month and then proceeded to be drugged to zombie land. I ended the relationship a couple of months after because I did not feel anything else but anger towards him and because he had dragged me down with him so I had ended with a depression.
I did not speak to the guy for a year. I think it really hurt him much more than I had first assumed it would and he would have loud conversations with my friends that his girlfriend 'Alexandra' had moved away for a little bit and that he missed her and was looking forward for her to come back. Once during these conversations, I accidentally snapped my pencil because I was clenching my fist so hard to keep my rage unseen.
The sad part was that I with time, differently to him, admitted to my friends I had been in a relationship with him and had to explain to my friends that no, he had not been cheating on me with this 'Alexandra' but instead was talking about me as if we were still in the same relationship. I later learned he often spoke to his friend about me under this name and that he had often been stalking me.
Sorry about this wall[/quote]
Guys are creepy
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Dear father, I am sad because I have sinned...
I have masturbated 8 billion times, have no plan to stop.
I have dreams of ass fucking my sister because she's got a fucking nice ass.
When I was sleeping with her in a caravan (same bed and everything, It was just us there) I didn't really know what sex mean't back then (C'mon I was 8) I Nearly got to the point of fucking her while she was asleep but I couldn't figure out how it would stay in (as In: Couldn't get a boner) but I got to feel some noice bewb.
I've never had a girlfriend yet I leave subtle hints to make it like I have had one, So far It's working.
When I was young I had no idea what the fuck a furry was, I thought it was just someone who dressed up as a cat or something, I actually used to call myself a furry, Fuck I had no idea...
Once in Primary (elementary for you people from other parts of the world) School I was in the toilet's with a lot of other boy's, the leader guy (who started it and god expelled) want'ed a sword fight (you know what I mean) it seemed it got intense because everyone got a boner, and the leader actually got to cum in the trough, luckily no-one reported me as actually being there...
yeah, few weird fucking ones.[/quote]
What the hell
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Well, I noticed the thread was drying up a bit, so I decided to add something that's not super embarrassing, yet hilarious and has under-age sexual actions.
Well, I went over to a girl's house one day. It happened to be Super Bowl Sunday, but I didn't mind, I like baseballl better, and I just wanted to watch the commercials. Well, me and the girl used to be a couple, and we still liked eachother. On this day, I was 14, and she 13.
I couldn't get Google to work properly, so I couldn't get a map to her address. However, her mother knew how to get to my house, and the girl (whom we shall at this point call Jane) can easily pick my house out from all the others. Well, she picks me up from my house, and the mother needs to grab some groceries on the way. She parks in a parking lot that's somewhat secluded, and leaves the two of us alone. I'm very shy about sexual stuff, and Jane knows this. So, she simply starts talking to me, and I start talking to her also. Suddenly, Jane says "So, have you ever felt a boob before?" I tell her no, she was my first girlfriend, and I'm really too shy to even think about it. So, she grabs my hand and rubs it on her boobs. At this point, Jane starts blushing and laughing, because she usually teases me like this in some way, but she never got physical about it. I get a bit freaked out, and the mom shows up, and takes us to Jane's house.
Well, now Jane and I walk around her neighborhood, talking about nothing. When we get back, the mother tells us she needs to do some errands, and takes everyone with her out of the house except Jane and I. Now, Jane takes me downstairs to her bedroom, which I had never seen. She shows me around, and we sit on her bed and watch TV. She shows me the shows she watches, and I do the same for her. Eventually, Jane asks me how her breasts felt. I say "Well, they were really soft and squishy, and they felt really good to touch." Jane then pulls down her top enough for her breasts to show, very casually, while I flip the fuck out (in my mind). She says "Yes, and they're pretty big, too. Wanna suck them?"
Now, remember how I said I was shy about being sexual? Well, this made me nearly faint. I oblige her, as honestly, what the fuck else could I do? I suck and lick her nipples, and amazingly, Jane tells me that I am better at this then anyone else who has tried this (I'm the third one). well, I really go to town on Jane's nipples and boobs, and when I look up, she's completely blushing, and really turned on. However, I've told her I've never wanted sex until both of us were adults, so I really didn't want to fuck Jane. instead, I kiss her, and Jane points out, however, that I suck at kissing. She spends 30 minutes teaching me how to kiss, and by this time her face is no longer flushed. I calmly turn on the TV and watch some South Park with her, and act like nothing happened.
I've told my friends that I hung out with her in her room, and we watched South Park. Now they think I'm as pure as Mary herself, and if I make a single sex joke, they always laugh and think I don't understand it. So my High School sex life got ruined because I act nice and life somewhat morally.
Also Hezzy, I think you have the most funnies of anyone on Facepunch.
[/quote]
how is it ruined, you've just told me to got to cop a feel
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey Hezzy, I don’t have an FP account but I’ve been a lurker for quite a while. My confession... let’s see where I start...
Around the 4th grade, I moved schools quite a lot due to my parents being divorced when I was 3 (I’m currently 16). I noticed this one girl... Jesus... Blonde hair, blue eyes, and nice body... to be honest it felt like love at first site. But back then I was shy as shy can be, so I never ended up talking to her or anything. Up until grade 8, I had never even thought about going out on a date, but this one friend... let’s call him James. James was a lot more outgoing then I was and at the time he was friends with said girl that I liked. He eventually convinced me to ask her out one day, and we went to see a movie. At the movie I was so nervous that I basically sat in my seat the whole time looking at the screen, not even thinking about doing anything. After the movies we said goodbye and went to our parents cars. The stupid thing I did was ask her out as school was ending, so I pretty much didn’t get to see her all summer, despite living near her. Then High school came, and after getting used to grade 9, I had planned on asking her out again (lets call her Lisa, obviously not the real name...) but then something happened that I didn’t really expect. James decides to ask out Lisa without telling me, now obviously he didn’t tell her about me not knowing (There was a kind of rule among my friends at this point, if you were going to ask out a girl that someone else liked, and then you had to ask and make sure that they're ok with it.)
Alright so a couple of days after James asked out Lisa, James decide to ask me if he can ask Lisa out... thinking it wouldn't last long between them I said yes... Stupidest mistake that I've ever made in my life... They hit it off really well, and me being James' best friend, got to hear ever, single, detail about them. I was so... depressed i guess you could call it. Then they started to... well "do it". This is about grade 10. I’m so sick of hearing about all this, and having her talk to me about her still liking me. That was a bad idea. We started to hit it off again, but unfortunately (cant spell) she was still with James. So we kind of had to keep it from him. We did this a lot. But everytime we seemed to get to a great point, she would stop and say this was wrong and stop talking to me. Then during the last semester of grade 10, I decided to finally ask someone else out. Let’s call her... Jen. Now, kind of the problem with Jen was that she was Lisa's best friend.
Ok so me and Jen hit it off good, we got pretty serious also, but after 3 months (short time I know, but that’s sadly the longest serious relationship I've had with a girl,) we broke up. Being the first girl I opening loved, after I broke up with Jen I changed quite a lot. I started to act differently, wear different clothes, and listen to different music... Well, to this day the last time I spoke to Jen was when we broke up, that was about 2 years ago now. After we broke up, the flings started again with Lisa and the same thing happened at the end of every one of them. She would stop talking to me, and I would be left alone, heartbroken again and again. Well finally something interesting happened. During one of the flings, James found out, and pretty much immediately broke up with Lisa. I remember seeing Lisa and her friends walking down the hall, her sobbing like crazy... I didn’t really feel anything by looking at that. Then they got back together... and James accused me of breaking them up, as I had told him before that if see's doing that, then he should break up with her.
So I stopped talking to James and Lisa both, and started to get back into my regular group of friends. This leads me to about a month ago. I’m in summer school cause I failed 2 course, and lo and behold who is also at summer school? Lisa of course. Well, at this I still have some feelings for her, so I decided to write her a note saying how much I liked her and how I came to feel that way. Well after leaving the summer school and her not talking to me, I decided that it’s pretty much over between us. But one day I get a strange text from a number I don’t recognize. Well guess who it was?? Lisa of course... She was saying that she just wants to be friends. So I agree to that and we start talking again. One day I ask her to come over to my house, cause I found out that she was moving in about 2 weeks, and by moving I mean moving provinces (I live in Canada, Ontario to be exact, but she is moving to B.C).
So she comes over and we are watching a horror movie. She seems like she getting pretty scared. So I said "Scared??" kind mockingly, she replied with a low "yea". So I put my arm around her, and we just sat like that for a while.
At this point I’m thinking "maybe, just maybe I can finally get with her." So I kiss her on the checke, and then she turned her head and just stared at me for a little while. Then we kissed, and I’m thinking "Ok this is really going to happen", so I decided to, you know start to head downstairs... well she block's me from doing anything, which I try multiple times. Eventually she has to leave because her mom was being a bitch about where she was. We kissed before she left and that ended that. When I text her asking her if everything is ok, she says yes. I ask her if there's any other time we can get together, hoping we can finish what we started before. She said that she would be too busy packing and stuff and that she couldn’t. I said it was ok and was just thankful that we had the chance to express ourselves truly. The next day I ask her if we are still going to keep in contact after she moves, she says of course we are... by this point ive fell in love with her again. The next day I had to go to work, so I sent her a text saying that I was going to work and to have a good day.
Well, at work I get a very long text from Lisa, which I’m too busy to read at the time. So I told the other guy that I was going out for a smoke, (yes I Do smoke, and everyone one of friends and flings hated it). So I take the time to read the text fully and thoroughly. In it, she accused me of being a jerk, an ass, pathetic, wished me a lonely and miserable life, told me that she never loved me or even liked me, and that she hates me now. Also that She hates me cause I tried to break up "her one and only true love (which is James, just in case you weren’t paying attention) and that she is never going to talk to me at this point. I also received a text from James saying "You’re a sad, sad motherfucker." At this point I’m really shocked and kind of speechless, so I finished working and went home and tried to come up with some sort of response... all I could say is "why did you even come over before then??, and I guess this is the final straw between us." She didn’t responded, so I did what I always did; delete her number and all the text messages.
And that is all that happened. Now I would like to ask your opinion on a couple of things... 1. Was I really that much of a bad guy?? I mean yeah I did break them up and tried to get with her forcefully... but I mean it wasn’t the worst thing in the world... right??
And what would you have done in all of those different situations??
Well thanks for listening; it felt really good to get this off my chest. [/quote]
You're a prick, you broke up your best friend and a girl that didn't even like you. Not just that, but it sounds like you forced yourself onto the poor girl too.
[quote=Anonymous Confession]When I was thirteen, just beginning to hit puberty, I started to get curious about all the other boys. In short, I wanted to see one of my friends naked. It was my big mission, and I didn't care how long it took.
My friend and I, let's call him Adam, were very close. We had been best friends since grade three and often hung out. We had made a different version of Truth or Dare by ourselves, one that we called "Truth or Dare Double". We weren't clever enough to think of anything else -- anyways, we played it often, and it was like normal truth or dare, but when you dared the other person to do something, you had to do the same thing yourself. And if you asked them a question for truth, you had to answer the same question.
One night while sitting under the trees playing Truth or Dare Double, I was trying to think of the perfect dare I could give him. The dares were pretty stupid, such as hump a tree or knock on someone's door and run away, so if I were to just say like "get naked", he would be suspiscious. "Truth or dare?" I said to him, smiling. "Dare."
"I dare you to take off all your clothes except your underwear and run on the street!"
I couldn't believe I just said it, but I looked down and hoped for the best. "Fine, but you're going to have to do it too. How do I know you're going to do it?" I responded quickly with "I'll do it at the same time as you!"
So, we began taking off our pants and shirts -- I saw his body, it was amazing. He was wearing tight underwear so I could see his bulge, just staring at it made me slowly get hard. I didn't want him to see my erection so I said "let's do it!". We ran on the street, me staring at him the whole time, and waved our arms around a bit and ran back to the tree. We sat down and he said "Truth or dare?". I was expecting him to put his clothes back on, but I guess he didn't want to.
"Dare.", I said.
"I dare you to take off your underwear."
Oh wow, by now I was just imagining him without his underwear on and my erection became a lot more noticable -- he started to look at it. I didn't want to say anything so I quickly took off my underwear and there it was, out in the open. He slowly began pulling down his underwear, also, like he was teasing me. I stared in awe, my hand twitching. He finally pulled them down all the way and I realised he had an erection too, but it was a lot smaller. So there we were, two guys with erections, just staring at eachother.
I don't know how to explain the rest of it, but he ended up standing up, and I had seen doggy style online so I quickly got up and stuck my penis right in his asshole, him replying with a moan. I thrusted back and forth, my left hand jacking him off at the same time. We both orgasm'd at the same time, even though not much came out.
We did the same thing for two months every week until he ended up moving at the end of the school year, and I frequently masturbate to the thought of us having sex -- and I wish we could do it again. I will never forget this, but at the same time, I will never tell anyone. Except you, Hezzy, and FacePunch.[/quote]
wonderful
[quote=Anonymous Confession]So just a quick one,
I was doing some heavy drinking last night and apparently thought it would be a good idea to take a piss in my sink.
But not like just down the drain, I plugged the drain and then took a piss in it because apparently i wanted to save it so the whole world could witness my great creation.
There is no surprise like walking down in the morning through the haze and pain of a hangover to find that smelly yellow liquid chillin in the sink.[/quote]
hahahaha the famous sinkpiss
[quote=Anonymous Confession]
1. I'm 12 turning 13 in september
2. I've never came, I try so hard ;-;
3. I love this girl I met online, but she has no idea what I look like and how old I am. She's in her teens, obviously, but what the hell do I do.
4. I fantasize about fucking anime characters
5. I fap to hentai
6. I'm a total weaboo, and I want to move to japan so bad.
7. Noone online on most websites i go on think I'm older then I am [except for the one I met the girl I like on, but still, they think I'm 13.]
8. I want to murder my stepfather, fucking asshole
9. I've had a dream where I fucked my sister, what the hell.
10. I sucked a cock when I had no idea what I was doing when I was 4 ~ 5. Fucking assholes.
11. Everyone hates me in my school, and i have no fucking clue why. I'm don't even talk to half the fuckers and they automatically hate me.
That's it. Well, I thought'd this make me feel better but I guess not.[/quote]
Maybe they hate you because you're "that anime guy"
[quote=Anonymous Confession]I hope Facepunch finds this entertaining, because I do.
I've had sex with a lot of my sister's friends. It's my sister's fault. She gets them stupid drunk and then one will wonder what I'm doing. We hang out, have fun, then they somehow find me so interesting that they want to fuck. It's happened like 3 times now, and I personally find it hilarious. I feel a little bad, but then I remember how shy I am around girls and remember that I will most likely not get pussy from girlfriends.
Her 21st birthday is today, which means I will most likely get more than one catch. I kind of want her to find out, just to see her reaction. I'll be sure to do the smug face when she confronts me.[/quote]
Godspeed
[quote=Anonymous Confession]Hey Hezzy me again! The guy who admitted to lusting after his dads girlfriend and listened to them having sex and jacked off to her moaning.
Well, after some progress I got to kiss her. I think the email you posted told she knew I really liked her and we made a deal. I do the dishes, she'd kiss me and she did! But that's not much of a confession. This next part is: I was so excited that later that night I had masturbated and came into 2 pairs of shoes and on her bra. One was a pair of sandals and I smeared the semen around them with my dick and another was some tennis shoes and I just left the semen in there and I did this will having her panties wrapped around my dick, smelling a high heel of hers while smelling/licking a bra of hers as well as another pair of panties. So now when I see her wear those shoes or her bra I get instantly hard.
Oh, and from time to time I switched from the panties around my dick to jerking off with her bra like she was giving my a titfuck.
PS, I may sound enthusiastic about this which makes it sound fake but I assure you it's not, I'm just excited I finally kissed her![/quote]
what the hell dude, you're pretty creepy
[quote=hezzy;16642578]confessions incoming[/quote]
duck a cover! Sound the alarm!
Ah, you edited your post so no one noticed them.
Very creepy bunch by the way. Creepy, but entertaining.
oh god the gay truth or dare ughhhhh
[quote]I hope Facepunch finds this entertaining, because I do.
I've had sex with a lot of my sister's friends. It's my sister's fault. She gets them stupid drunk and then one will wonder what I'm doing. We hang out, have fun, then they somehow find me so interesting that they want to fuck. It's happened like 3 times now, and I personally find it hilarious. I feel a little bad, but then I remember how shy I am around girls and remember that I will most likely not get pussy from girlfriends.
Her 21st birthday is today, which means I will most likely get more than one catch. I kind of want her to find out, just to see her reaction. I'll be sure to do the smug face when she confronts me.
[quote]Godspeed[/quote][/quote]
Nice reply :v:
I'm so glad I never had any horrible experiences as this as a child. Kids can be so dirty.
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