Spousal punishment - is it appropriate? if so, when?
86 replies, posted
[B]Disclaimer:[/B] I don't advocate seriously beating women unless they really deserve it.
To start off I'll give you a little backstory that prompted me to seriously ask myself this question, and maybe ask some facepunch people as well. About 3 years ago (recently turned 22) I got married to a black woman. It was pretty good and I was really into it at the time and it went well. Some might have a problem with people getting married this young but young love eh? anyway I don't regret it. Of course with being married comes the trials and tribulations of managing a woman and this can really knock a guy about. I'm sure some of you understand what I'm talking about. So it's been about 2.5 years at this point and she's riding my ass every day about how I sit on the computer too much and still haven't gotten a job, and it's wearing me thin. The first few years were great but it eventually ended up with me doing everything "wrong" while it was actually her that was just being annoying as hell. I know, I know, it's a woman thing and they're always like this, but sometimes it just gets to be too much. So one day she comes home, slams the front door (big mistake already, I had a headache), and starts bitching me out for not picking up my dirty clothes and cleaning the dishes. As you'd expect we got into a massive yelling match, going from room to room with all the expletives you could imagine (at this point I'm surprised the cops didn't get called) and I tell her that I'm sick of her getting up in my business when she has no right to. Eventually I let up and started to pick up some of my clothes and then she said something along the lines of "damn straight" and I snapped. An open palm across the face and she shut up quick smart. I have to admit I felt pretty powerful at that moment, like a man should I guess? Something about alpha males. But anyway it felt good and I walked out (didn't pick up the clothes. couldn'nt be fucked) and went back and browsed the web for a little while. Didn't hear much noise upstairs for a while and all seemed to be well, then she came down stairs and asked me what I wanted for dinner. Things seemed to have sorted themselves out, so I ended up being pretty glad I'd had the courage to stand up for myself.
I can remember some situations, mainly the relatively unimportant stuff like two months down the track she comes home with a new phone. Now I want to go on record, I'm not the kind of guy who cares what phone people have, but me and her had come to an agreement that she would get a matching iPhone after I bought my iPhone 4 last year. I guess I just like things to be neat and tidy, and I didn't want the both of us to look like we couldn't even agree on a phone together. I started yelling and grabbed it off her and smashed it on the floor and told her to either go and get an iPhone 4 or I'd drive her there and get one for her, or go without a phone. She ran off crying like a little girl and said something about me being a bastard but I paid no mind to it. Again, nothing seemed to come of it and things seemed to straighten up once again so maybe there really was something to asserting my dominance. There were a few more incidents, most I can't recall the specifics, over the next few months leading up to now. Most of the time she gets the point though.
Now that you've heard that story, what's your opinion on this? I like to think I approached this in an adult manner and didn't go too far (broken bones and stuff like that are unacceptable in my opinion) and I got pretty good results from it. I know there'll be some of you who don't agree with it, so let me know if there's anything I could have handled better. Are there even any better techniques for keeping a wild woman under control? Not some sort of weird slave thing but just so she doesn't give you a heap of shit for not getting a job or whatever the flavour of the day is. I guess a lot of married guys such as myself go through this and I'm wondering how they managed to last 10+ or even 20+ years. Even after 3 I'm at the end of my rope and I'm in need of advice. Are all black women like this? Is this a black person thing? (Not racist) I've just never really had any black friends.
I've heard this only became a taboo thing in the last few years after those women's rights cults started gaining some ground. Frankly I feel like they've given women an inflated ego and now they think they're better than me and other guys. If I recall men were the ones building society while women ate berries. Sorry if that sounds sexist. I don't want to come off as bias or one of those wife beaters but I thought this would be a good place to share some thoughts and talk about it with some other like minded guys.
Felt good to get some of this off my chest. Women, I guess.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Trolling or sexist" - JohnnyMo1))[/highlight]
maybe try not arguing like small children. you won't need to get violent. no, domestic violence is not acceptable.
[sp]troll?[/sp]
Haha what
You smashed her phone because she didn't get the phone you wanted her to get?
You're starting the road that leads down to being a lonely, misogynist, basement dweller.
Congratulations, if you wish to turn around stop living like a pig and get a job.
There is no excuse to ever hit a woman, unless she's sexually into it of course.
OP, some day I'm going to see you on the news. Your wife will have shot you over the abuse.
OP you sound like a lazy asshole. You should start cleaning your shit up, get a job and stop sitting on the computer too much and being unproductive.
[QUOTE=CrispexOps;32854227]There is no excuse to ever hit a woman, unless she's sexually into it of course.
OP, some day I'm going to see you on the news. Your wife will have shot you over the abuse.[/QUOTE]
Or, you know, if a woman assaults you.
Spousal "punishment" sounds retarded, you should have learned how to deal with her while you were dating her. I think you handled it pretty bad like an overgrown child.
No.
Never.
Your spouse isn't a fucking work dog, you're two people under a legal contract of companionship.
You weren't "punishing" her, you were unable to overcome your issues through non-violent solutions and [I]assaulted[/I] her.
I wouldn't be surprised if the OP got more abusive over the years and one of them ended up dead and/or in jail.
Get the fuck outta Facepunch and don't come back until you get your shit straightened out.
I'm surprised someone married you. You sound worthless.
[QUOTE=Nathax;32854168][B]Disclaimer:[/B] I don't advocate seriously beating women unless they really deserve it.
To start off I'll give you a little backstory that prompted me to seriously ask myself this question, and maybe ask some facepunch people as well. About 3 years ago (recently turned 22) I got married to a black woman. It was pretty good and I was really into it at the time and it went well. Some might have a problem with people getting married this young but young love eh? anyway I don't regret it. Of course with being married comes the trials and tribulations of managing a woman and this can really knock a guy about. I'm sure some of you understand what I'm talking about. So it's been about 2.5 years at this point and she's riding my ass every day about how I sit on the computer too much and still haven't gotten a job, and it's wearing me thin. The first few years were great but it eventually ended up with me doing everything "wrong" while it was actually her that was just being annoying as hell. I know, I know, it's a woman thing and they're always like this, but sometimes it just gets to be too much. So one day she comes home, slams the front door (big mistake already, I had a headache), and starts bitching me out for not picking up my dirty clothes and cleaning the dishes. As you'd expect we got into a massive yelling match, going from room to room with all the expletives you could imagine (at this point I'm surprised the cops didn't get called) and I tell her that I'm sick of her getting up in my business when she has no right to. Eventually I let up and started to pick up some of my clothes and then she said something along the lines of "damn straight" and I snapped. An open palm across the face and she shut up quick smart. I have to admit I felt pretty powerful at that moment, like a man should I guess? Something about alpha males. But anyway it felt good and I walked out (didn't pick up the clothes. couldn'nt be fucked) and went back and browsed the web for a little while. Didn't hear much noise upstairs for a while and all seemed to be well, then she came down stairs and asked me what I wanted for dinner. Things seemed to have sorted themselves out, so I ended up being pretty glad I'd had the courage to stand up for myself.
I can remember some situations, mainly the relatively unimportant stuff like two months down the track she comes home with a new phone. Now I want to go on record, I'm not the kind of guy who cares what phone people have, but me and her had come to an agreement that she would get a matching iPhone after I bought my iPhone 4 last year. I guess I just like things to be neat and tidy, and I didn't want the both of us to look like we couldn't even agree on a phone together. I started yelling and grabbed it off her and smashed it on the floor and told her to either go and get an iPhone 4 or I'd drive her there and get one for her, or go without a phone. She ran off crying like a little girl and said something about me being a bastard but I paid no mind to it. Again, nothing seemed to come of it and things seemed to straighten up once again so maybe there really was something to asserting my dominance. There were a few more incidents, most I can't recall the specifics, over the next few months leading up to now. Most of the time she gets the point though.
Now that you've heard that story, what's your opinion on this? I like to think I approached this in an adult manner and didn't go too far (broken bones and stuff like that are unacceptable in my opinion) and I got pretty good results from it. I know there'll be some of you who don't agree with it, so let me know if there's anything I could have handled better. Are there even any better techniques for keeping a wild woman under control? Not some sort of weird slave thing but just so she doesn't give you a heap of shit for not getting a job or whatever the flavour of the day is. I guess a lot of married guys such as myself go through this and I'm wondering how they managed to last 10+ or even 20+ years. Even after 3 I'm at the end of my rope and I'm in need of advice. Are all black women like this? Is this a black person thing? (Not racist) I've just never really had any black friends.
I've heard this only became a taboo thing in the last few years after those women's rights cults started gaining some ground. Frankly I feel like they've given women an inflated ego and now they think they're better than me and other guys. If I recall men were the ones building society while women ate berries. Sorry if that sounds sexist. I don't want to come off as bias or one of those wife beaters but I thought this would be a good place to share some thoughts and talk about it with some other like minded guys.
Felt good to get some of this off my chest. Women, I guess.[/QUOTE]
Quoting so you can't snip. Because, seriously, wow. You're a dick.
Stop violently assaulting your wife and breaking her stuff, get off your ass and get a job. How exactly you haven't seen yourself degrading into a domestic abuse nightmare is beyond me. Though I guess you wouldn't be doing this if you could see you just hit a woman for quite rightly forwarding a complaint about you.
If you see the OP's event log you'll see it's mostly for trolling. I'd say this is the same.
My god
OP's childhood:
[img]http://www.rawa.org/beating5.jpg[/img]
[editline]19th October 2011[/editline]
I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.
[QUOTE]I've heard this only became a taboo thing in the last few years after those women's rights cults started gaining some ground. Frankly I feel like they've given women an inflated ego and now they think they're better than me and other guys. If I recall men were the ones building society while women ate berries. Sorry if that sounds sexist. I don't want to come off as bias or one of those wife beaters but I thought this would be a good place to share some thoughts and talk about it with some other like minded guys.
[/QUOTE]
This acually sounds a lot like something you'd hear at a KKK rally if you swap out some of the words.
My God man, [I]get help before you or someone you love dies.[/I]
women need to be disciplined i agree nathax
good on ya
I don't have a wife, but I do have a dog which is sort of the same thing. I can sympathize OP. Maybe try switching to organic dry food instead of purina or whatever it is you're using?
[QUOTE=Nathax;32854168][B]Disclaimer:[/B] I don't advocate seriously beating women unless they really deserve it. [/QUOTE]
:V
But seriously, who's to judge if the women deserves it? The man.. and there are no second opinions. Don't fucking beat anyone.
[QUOTE=Nathax;32854168]she's riding my ass every day[/QUOTE]
Aw yeah dude, smack dat.. wait what.
[QUOTE=Nathax;32854168]she shut up quick smart.[/QUOTE]
You're so msart.
[QUOTE=Nathax;32854168] I have to admit I felt pretty powerful at that moment, like a man should I guess? I'd had the courage to stand up for myself.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, when your family starts being disobedient just slap them in the face.
[QUOTE=Nathax;32854168]Now that you've heard that story, what's your opinion on this? Are there even any better techniques for keeping a wild woman under control? Are all black women like this? Is this a black person thing? (Not racist)[/QUOTE]
My opinion is, you should apologize to your wife and realize what you said is in fact, racist.
Isn't this a debate thread?
Dude. No. Don't beat you're wife you fucking lunatic. If you do, you begin going down the road of being an abusive husband.
Get used to the whining and bitching. This is marriage. You signed up for this shit.
You don't lay a hand on anyone, specially your wife for any reason. The only time I can say it is alright to hit a spouse is in self-defense. That is it.
You sound like a lazy douche bro, how people like you get married is beyond me. Once you get married or in a committed relationship you have to make sacrifices. Seeing as you're all about the whole stereotypical marriage you shouldn't be at home, instead you should be at work making money for the house.
You sound like a fucking sociopath.
This is a Racist/Conspiracist/Fundie Trifecta... :v:
Can't choose which FSTDT board to submit it on...
This is a joke guys. He's trolling. Stop taking it seriously
[QUOTE=melonmonkey;32854788]This is a joke guys. He's trolling. Stop taking it seriously[/QUOTE]
How do you know?
Troll or not, there is a very interesting debate to be had.
OP is probably just baiting for someone to come here and say something like YEAH I HIT WOMEN ALL THE TIME and start a huge war in the thread.
[QUOTE=Croix;32854865]OP is probably just baiting for someone to come here and say something like YEAH I HIT WOMEN ALL THE TIME and start a huge war in the thread.[/QUOTE]
It's not really going to be a war.. I doubt many people on FP think this is ok.
You guys are just going to be cussing at the OP or something.
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;32854828]How do you know?
Troll or not, there is a very interesting debate to be had.[/QUOTE]
You honestly believe some one would say this? A gold member with 1500 posts would know better.
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