[QUOTE=Droogie;29359805]A bully doesn't look for a flaw in someone because they want to help improve their character, they're looking for someone they can victimize and antagonize regardless of what the person's actual flaws are, constantly trying to change yourself to meet the bully's criteria is exactly the wrong thing to do and only enables further attacks.
Although I don't think our definitions of bullying match up, I'm not saying that remarking on someone's appearance is automatically bullying, suppositions like that are why zero tolerance approaches are flawed. Obviously kids have to learn to stick up for themselves but relentless unprovoked mental and physical attacks aren't constructive and don't improve one's character.[/QUOTE]
you have a choice here
you can change the circumstances and make the bully fuck off
or you can change yourself to give less for the bully to work with
But how you determine what's a "good" amount of bullying. Each person who is bullied is different. Some are tougher and can take more punishment, some are emotionally weaker due to whatever circumstances and they can take less. Who's up to decide that?
itt qualified and legitimate child psychologists
[QUOTE=Mon;29360057]you have a choice here
you can change the circumstances and make the bully fuck off
or you can change yourself to give less for the bully to work with[/QUOTE]
What if there are 5 bullies?
OP, I Hope you're killed in a school shooter.
Yes, I'm kinda psycho, I have my own reasons, and I can tell you that people get bullied the fuck outta their sanity for less than being fatty.
I won't go into details here, my life is mine and noone want to learn about my mistakes.
[QUOTE=breakyourfac;29356547]Okay so in the news it seems all these soccer moms are getting boners for making every kid equal and stopping bullying. I'm not saying it's a nice thing, I'm saying that it's a vital part of life. yeah, I said it, you need bullying. Certain kinds go way to far, but let's just talk about the name calling and things like that. If it really drives you to suicide because someone calls you a 'fatty fatty two by four can't fit through the bathroom door' then balls to you, I feel sorry for their family. My point is, is that traumatic experiences make you stronger in life, my learning how to overcome these things, you will grow up an undoubtedly stronger person mentally.
You're probably reading this and going 'break you dumbass being mean is not nice'. That's not my point, my point is that sure it's not always a good thing, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's instinctual for kids to make fun of their peers for being different, why do you think it happens in every community, everyday all across the world. The peers have two options, go on the defensive and cry about it to mommy which does nothing half of the time, or they can go on the offensive and stand up for themselves.
Example of going on the Offensive:
[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/"]View Dailymotion video[/URL] kid-body-slams-his-bully_fun
[URL]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xhn3qv[/URL]kid-body-slams-his-bully_fun
I have a doctors appointment for mono, or strep or some shit.
I'll add more content later
tl;dr: Bullying actually has a purpose in life and is natural instinct.
Oh and this.
incoming boxes from friendless nerds.[/QUOTE]
ITT, OP is a internet toughguy who is enlarging his E-penis by acting like hes a 'kewl tuf gai.' Also, Social Darwinism-supporting teens with hormonal rage.
[QUOTE=Mon;29360057]you have a choice here
you can change the circumstances and make the bully fuck off
or you can change yourself to give less for the bully to work with[/QUOTE]
It doesn't matter what you change about yourself, a bully will find something to use against you.
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Squeaken;29360161]itt qualified and legitimate child psychologists[/QUOTE]
Yuo don't need to be a fucking psychologist to know that bullying causes problems for people.
[QUOTE=Garik;29358626]Don't blame me that i'm popular, because you see... the key to success is not having autism...[/QUOTE]
Im still not sure if you are just a bad troll
Also, OP is a dumbass because "Fighting back" like he says to do in his infinite wisdom will simply get you suspended, which is a hell of a lot worse than being bullied.
[QUOTE=Strongbad;29360365]Also, OP is a dumbass because "Fighting back" like he says to do in his infinite wisdom will simply get you suspended, which is a hell of a lot worse than being bullied.[/QUOTE]
Or it'll get you gang banged by his friends
[QUOTE=carcarcargo;29360387]Or it'll get you gang banged by his friends[/QUOTE]
Or possibly both
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=acds;29358858]Nature's not kind. Are you ugly? Then your genes are not good, you won't procreate and everyone will make fun of you to keep you away form their group and sexual mates. Do you have defects? Same as above. Are you crippled? Then you are not fit for survival, you'll either be killed or eaten by some predator. Are you different in any way? You're a menace to the established leadership and social ladder, you are to be a outcast or eliminated.
[B]I'm not saying it's right[/B], I'm saying that it's how nature works on it's most basic level. Luckily we are in 2011 and not 50000 B.C. so most of society has evolved past that, but bullying is still caused by those apeman instincts.
Again I'm not saying it's right, nor that all of society works that way. I'm saying that nature works that way, right or not.[/QUOTE]
This can't be true. If it was, you would never have been born.
[QUOTE=carcarcargo;29360387]Or it'll get you gang banged by his friends[/QUOTE]
I actually fought back once, and I mean fought.
Biggest mistake of my life. The bullies came to me and said that they would pretty much kick my ass if I didnt give my guitar to them.
Something snapped and I went in killing frenzy, although i never managed to land a punch. I just spinned around shouting and shaking my hands until someone knocked me out of the game.
They took my guitar, probably to sell it or something. I bought a new one when I moved to another city a couple weeks later.
Anyway welcome to Finland. The land of snow and fukken lakes.
[QUOTE=Mon;29359567]if you don't fight back then you have no ambition[/QUOTE]
Yes but you also have an intact spine.
[QUOTE=carcarcargo;29360316]It doesn't matter what you change about yourself, a bully will find something to use against you.[/QUOTE]
if bullying isn't about something specific, then it's mostly you should mostly not react to it (it's real life trolling, trolling is boring if the other person doesn't react (angry) ).
If I'm doing something and people try to provoke me by asking dumb question, I ignore it until they give you a little push like "hey I'm talking to you", in which case I give a very uninterested "mhmm?" and answer their question with an even more uninterested "no" or "ok" and go back with what I was doing. If they say more, I just respond with "ok".
I don't think Bullying is a good thing, I just think it's vain to try and stop it.
Funny how I've been bullied all my life and yet I partially agree with the OP.
[QUOTE=Strongbad;29360434]
This can't be true. If it was, you would never have been born.[/QUOTE]
Thank you for the great counterarguments.
Also it's funny how touchy FP gets on the subject of bullying.
While there may be far worse outcomes of bullying, it helped me lose alot of weight and go from being the class fatass, to being fairly well built. I don't think if I was treated like momma's special boy that would really be possible.
It was fucking easy for that fat guy to beat that skinny guy. In reallity its like 3 and alot bigger than u, that do this, not viceversa.
[QUOTE=Grim Jam;29358541]All in all, I wouldn't stop it if I could (it's kinda funny.)
Also kids, fuck kids.[/QUOTE]
That may very well be the worst thing I've ever seen posted.
Using OP's logic, torture should be accepted because it makes you stronger.
Well, I guess OP is right to a certain extent, but bullies tend to end up as hobos or drug addicts and never get jobs or lives, especially if they're short.
But if the fat kid needs someone to tell him he's fat, then go ahead.
[QUOTE=breakyourfac;29357538]I swear to god you're a troll, you keep putting words in my mouth(posts?). Occasional name calling like 'fatty fatty two by four can't fit through the bathroom door' is not as evil as the media and soccer moms make it seem. If there is physical violence then sure, tell someone.[/QUOTE]
hi my name is breakyourfac and emotional abuse isn't real abuse and should not be reported.
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=BrQ;29359150]I say that if you can't handle bullying, then change yourself.
Fat? Try losing weight.
Skinny? Try gaining weight.
Funny hair? Try a more 'normal' hair style.
People think you're a gaming nerd? Stop talking about games or wearing clothes related to gaming.
Bullied for absolutely no reason? Walk with a couple of friends instead of alone.
I understand that it's not as simple as that, but instead of crying about how people bully you so much, you should try to do something about it. I also see that you shouldn't have to change yourself to please bullies, but if you can't deal with it, then there's not much else you can do about it.
And if your problem is something like "I don't have any friends, because of my (self)diagnosed assburgers or w/e", then do something about that too. You can go "I can't because of this syndrome I have" but then you are only giving an excuse to yourself and it won't fix anything.[/QUOTE]
hi my name is BrQ and personal identity and individuality should be shaped by loud assholes.
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;29361317]Well, I guess OP is right to a certain extent, but bullies tend to end up as hobos or drug addicts and never get jobs or lives, especially if they're short.
But if the fat kid needs someone to tell him he's fat, then go ahead.[/QUOTE]
Hahahahaha, no.
Most bullies grow up to be those rich douchebags who drive convertibles, have spikey hair and wear polos with the collar popped.
Anyway I used to be bullied in early middle school but I took their advice and spend a summer weightlifting, joined the football team, and you know, became a normal person.
[QUOTE=Uberman77883;29361413]Hahahahaha, no.
Most bullies grow up to be those rich douchebags who drive convertibles, have spikey hair and wear polos with the collar popped.
Anyway I used to be bullied in early middle school but I took their advice and spend a summer weightlifting, joined the football team, and you know, became a normal person.[/QUOTE]
That's bullies with banker parents.
[QUOTE=BagMinge104;29361374]
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
hi my name is BrQ and personal identity and individuality should be shaped by loud assholes.[/QUOTE]
It's either changing or dealing with bullies. What do you suggest then, instead of shitposting.
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Uberman77883;29361413]Hahahahaha, no.
Most bullies grow up to be those rich douchebags who drive convertibles, have spikey hair and wear polos with the collar popped.
Anyway I used to be bullied in early middle school but I took their advice and spend a summer weightlifting, joined the football team, and you know, became a normal person.[/QUOTE]
No, most bullies end up like normal persons, some getting nice jobs and some failing at school
[QUOTE=BrQ;29361457]It's either changing or dealing with bullies. What do you suggest then, instead of shitposting.[/QUOTE]
You honestly just suggested that it's your responsibility to change who you are and your identity when people bully you in order to "appease" their standards and then almost immediately contradict yourself and say that you shouldn't.
You know what I suggest? I suggest that bullying and predatory behavior shouldn't be tolerated. People think that "bullying happens" so "kids should toughen up and deal with it" which is both ineffective, harmful, and unacceptable in modern society.. There is nothing romantic nor justified about tormenting and abusing someone over perceived differences and inequalities in this day and age, whether those characteristics be by choice or how you came out of the womb. So what if you try and "conform" to the bullies standards. So what? They don't give a shit, and you now have to deal with the ramifications and effects of not being yourself.
That which doesn't kill you only makes you more neurotic.
I had a pretty good argument with my high school German teacher about this, actually. We rarely actually studied any German in his class, and instead spent most of each period discussing philosophy, film, or literature. As a result, nobody learned how to speak German, but at least we had a lot of fun and enlightening conversations.
The topic of that day he been school shootings, as this was shortly after the Virginia Tech shootings. We got into a rather heated classroom debate about it, and I had argued that, while the bullies who would harass somebody so relentlessly had committed their own crime, that the person who snapped and decided that the only solution was mass murder shared a much larger portion of the blame. In the end, no matter how you look at it, the decision to murder is a personal one. Even under taunting, harassment, and beating, you always have the power to refuse such senseless violence. Even if there is nothing you can do but bear the weight of their abuse, it is preferable to escalating to a fatal retaliation, especially when most of your victims will be blameless people who are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's how I see it, and that would be my response under such conditions.
And so I have to argue that the blame for a school shooting does not lie with the bullies who prey on the weaknesses of others, but on the man who decided to pull the trigger. This same argument extends to suicide as a result of a bullying.
[QUOTE=BagMinge104;29361531]You honestly just suggested that it's your responsibility to change who you are and your identity when people bully you in order to "appease" their standards and then almost immediately contradict yourself and say that you shouldn't.[/QUOTE]
No, I said that when you can not deal with bullies, you should try to change.
I'm not saying people must change if they're different. Everyone should have the right to be who he wants to be. But if you're getting bullied to the point where you start getting depressed/suicidal, then you have little option but to go with their standards.
It's like the discussion about a guy killing himself because he got bullied because he was gay. He should never have been bullied and he should not have to change himself because of them. But if you're getting to the point where you can not deal with it and become suicidal, then you should atleast consider changing. Changing, as in not walking hand in hand with a boy or other things that are considered gay.
ITT: Dont be yourself, be like everyone else or get bullied!
No one deserves to be bullied. In most cases it doesn't "help" with anything, it just makes the person more unstable, gives social anxiety etc.
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