Playing xbox.
Phone rings.
Take off [wireless] mic and place somewhere.
Come back to xbox.
Cant find mic.
When I start yelling at my computer... Then I realize my microphone has been broken for almost two months.
Picking up my phone to look at the time. Forget to look at the time, put phone back in pocket. Take phone back up again.
Happens all the time.
Put a cereal box back into the cupboard upside down to trick my bro
next morning pull out favourite cereal, spills out EVERYWHERE
Consequently I spend 10 minutes clearing it all up
Edit: Look at watch while holding drink, suddenly looks like I've pissed myself
Edit: Took muffin out of pack, dropped muffin in bin instead of packaging
Ate a banana, went to throw away the peel, ended up flushing it through the toilet
Here is one about my father:
He decided to promote himself from drug dealer and started growing pot in our house. He was so proud of how it was coming along he took pictures of himself with the plants (giving a thumbs up) and when he got busted they used the photos as evidence. Years later, a friend of my dad's was in the police station and saw the photo on display on someone's desk.
Mute mic to talk to parents. Spend 3 hours talking in-game thinking people can hear me.
Spend five god-damn hours looking for glasses.
Wearing them.
I got stuck in the toilet once, my ass was stuck, [b]on my birthday![/b] My mom and my grandma had to take off the seat to get me out. :smith:
laughed so hard my eyes were basically forced shut and i kind of fell over like you do when you laugh
turns out my face was ---------------------------- that far away from my friend's crotch
"what are you doing down there"
Looking for something, after 5 minutes you find it in your pocket.
[QUOTE=Christy;26373804]Here is one about my father:
He decided to promote himself from drug dealer and started growing pot in our house. He was so proud of how it was coming along he took pictures of himself with the plants (giving a thumbs up) and when he got busted they used the photos as evidence. Years later, a friend of my dad's was in the police station and saw the photo on display on someone's desk.[/QUOTE]
You should post the picture.
I forgot how to swallow once, shit was weird.
I do this ^^ all the fucking time
this happens to me so often:
sometimes when I plan on fapping in bed I bring a sock up with me to catch the jizz
but often I get halfway through fapping and just get bored and stop, with my dick half hanging out of my underwear
so I fall asleep with my sock in my left hand, and I wake up to find that my dreams have finished what my right hand started
Was walking up the stairs in complete darkness. I was being really slow and dramatic about it, when i got to the top of the stairs I didn't realize that there were no more stairs. I tripped right over and woke up the parents
Someone asked me that how do you say a word in english, and after five minutes I realized that I was talking in english all the time
Wowzers, first time this happened to me, hurt like a bitch.
I see a girl I know and wave to her, she smiles and waves back. I keep waving, and just as I turn around I smack into the corner of a lamp post.
Now I have a bigass bump on my arm.
[QUOTE=samduude;26307951]when I write a word that i'm thinking rather than what I am supposed to be writing.[/QUOTE]
when I write a word that i'm thinking rather than what i'm supposed to be you guys are all a bunch of faggots
:v:
[editline]29th November 2010[/editline]
also for some reason I keep thinking of architecture in real life as it would be in hammer, but i don't know if that's as much of a derp as an ingrained habit from too much mapping.
[QUOTE=FreakySoup;26389983]also for some reason I keep thinking of architecture in real life as it would be in hammer, but i don't know if that's as much of a derp as an ingrained habit from too much mapping.[/QUOTE]
they made the london underground with carve
[QUOTE=HAKKAR!!!;26286959]Pushing pull doors and pulling push doors[/QUOTE]
That happened to a friend of mine today.
She keeps having derp moments when im around. Both of us do, but she has lots and lots of those.
- I asked out loud, is "Land" a word?
- I was playing VVVVVV and I got stuck on a easy part, not knowing what to do.
[img]http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/0f1de26e-01fd-4866-b86a-65fcb7b9263a.jpg[/img]
Anyway, I look for something and I end up with it right in front of me and not seeing it. Constantly.
One morning I was shit tired, and I grabbed a plate to pour cereal on... I realized my mistake when I was about to pour in the milk
I was in a rush and downed some piping hot hot-chocolate, not realising it was hot :saddowns:
[QUOTE=Neb;26347393]Sometimes when I try to talk to people that I am excited to talk to (like my dad) and when I am usually the one talking in a one sided conversation I lose my breath when I try to say sentences and I have to stop talking mid sentence and people look at me and are like "wtf".[/QUOTE]
Congratulations, you are now Jeremy Clarkson.
When I step out of a doorway where I expect there to be a step down I always stumble like a moron.
Me and a friend were doing a project for a science class. We were making it in gmod and it had to be an ad
"Why don't you come with me and give it a try!"
"SOUNDS AWESOME!"
"Take the door on your left"
*Walks right*
Derp and I laughed for 10 minutes after that.
I was going to put my plate in the trash can. Then I was DERP
I just put a bag of chips in the fridge.
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