In our class line at a school assembly next to a guy with crutches because he had broken his leg or something, the teacher points in our direction and is like "Okay, you go first" so I go "uhh. yep" and go to walk in. Everybody laughs and the guy with crutches stares at me as he walks past. God damn.
Getting out of a car I forgot my seatbelt was still on...
when I was 4-5, i jumped off a fake rock yelling "fuck-bitch".. at a small family party, everyone laughed except my mom and her boyfriend and told the rest of the people they were sorry.
In 7th and 8th grade I wasn't socially activated (still am, I just got slightly better), didn't give a shit, and I didn't wear cologne or deodorant.
When I was younger, at my friends house, I was out in space, not knowing what I was doing, I grabbed a rock and threw it at his little brother, who was probably 5-9 at the time.
Today I just forgot 4 of my friends names, who I hang out with every single day.
When I was young, I was quad riding with my brother and his friend, I started going slower, I slowed to like 10 mph, and couldn't ride over this rock, probably, half quarter, or half of a foot big, I fell off my quad and started crying.
I woke up at like 1 am thinking it was time for school so I brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, and took my medication before realizing. Same thing happened when I had my alarm set on a saturday.
ran into a store and stopped immediately thinking there was a glass door and I was feeling around for one for like 5 seconds there was none and the people laughed at me
I watched 1 guy 1 fish... :ohdear:
Start telling a joke, realise half-way through that they won't get it anyway/you forgot, say nevermind, leave.
I once spent a whole day thinking my name was Aleksei.
I once spent a whole day thinking I was in England.
I woke up one morning and tried to shave with my toothbrush, thankfully I realized what I was doing before I tried to brush my teeth.
I am a very derpy person when I'm tired :v:
Open backpack to put cellphone in, and to get my notebook out...needless to say i put the cellphone in, the notebook out but after doing it i put them back, the cellphone in my pocket and the notebook in the backpack...my friends staring at me all like "wtf?"
Sprayed cologne on my underarms.
Put very hot pot into a fridge on a glass, didnät heard the shattering though, weird.
Also I keep my mouth open when I play 8-ball with my friends.
PC made me derp a lot.
Sometimes I try to Ctrl+F while looking for stuff on shelves.
I forgot to turn the page on the book I was reading, I read that page maybe five times before I realized something was up.
I wondered why my speakers weren't working, and after fifteen minutes of tinkering, I realized they weren't turned on.
Tried to find the magazine release on a bolt action rifle.
Somehow I managed to forget what the salt jar contains, and in went a cup of salt into my dough.
Tried to start the car, wondered why the hell it wasn't starting, of course it was already on.
It's amazing how easily these moments are recalled.
[QUOTE=Amaurus;26534475]Sometimes I piss in two directions at the same time, with neither steam hitting the toilet.[/QUOTE]
v for vendetta
I usually alt tab whenever i'm loading something like a game or etc and browse facepunch while i wait, once I was starting my computer and was wondering why it was loading so slow. I then tried to alt tab and I was puzzled because it didn't do anything, so i tried ctrl-alt-delete but to no avail. I figured the computer froze or something so I manually restarted my computer. I then realized it was the windows loading screen... derp.
When writing Norwegian I often write the word [i]det[/i] as [i]the[/i], as they are pronounced the same way.
[editline]7th December 2010[/editline]
I was working with the 3D application zBrush one late evening, and when I went to brush my teeth I thought I had symmetry turned on so I only had to brush on one side.
When cutting my fingernails I somehow forgot to cut the ones on my right hand, and didn't notice it before arriving at school the next day.
I used to hang my tongue out of my mouth when I would play piano, but I don't do it anymore.
[b]Here's a Google Maps directions from the restaurant to my house during the day of my epic shitting story at the top of the page:[/b]
[url]http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=946+Osgood+Street,+North+Andover,+MA+01845-1899+(China+Blossom)&daddr=656+Salem+Street+North+Andover&hl=en&geocode=FXa9iwIdO9HC-ylN3o96jQbjiTGby1LeDFdQBg%3BFcwciwIdD0zD-yntOABC5QXjiTEXL81DIRcooQ&mra=ls&sll=42.694422,-71.099052&sspn=0.055514,0.165653&ie=UTF8&ll=42.691899,-71.104374&spn=0.055516,0.165653&t=h&z=13[/url]
[i]3.9 miles of sheer terror.[/i]
EDIT: Should probably mention Destination A is the restaurant, Destination B is my house.
I once put ketchup on an eggo waffle thinking it was jelly, holy mother of god that horrid taste still haunts me.
Do you know how some people write the word they're trying to spell in the air?
I raise my hands and type it out as if there's a keyboard.
Back in the summer of this year, I decided to get myself those small, shaved, mohawks you'd see an action movie hero would have. Now everyone liked it, my sister, cousins, friends, even my cousin's husband who's fucks around with me a lot. Now at this time I had a myspace and posted a picture of myself showing off my new mohawk. This girl who added me randomly couple months earlier posted a comment saying I was cute. Well the problem was that she was older and she didn't know what my real age was. She was pretty hot, too. Scene chick with the big troll hair, 19yrs old and drooling over my looks. Well I said something I should'a never said. Told her I was 15 and jokingly called her a kiddie fiddler. We stopped talking after that...
[QUOTE=FFStudios;26557558]I used to hang my tongue out of my mouth when I would play piano, but I don't do it anymore.
[b]Here's a Google Maps directions from the restaurant to my house during the day of my epic shitting story at the top of the page:[/b]
[url]http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=946+Osgood+Street,+North+Andover,+MA+01845-1899+(China+Blossom)&daddr=664+Salem+Street+North+Andover&hl=en&geocode=FXa9iwIdO9HC-ylN3o96jQbjiTGby1LeDFdQBg%3BFRgciwIdSE3D-yntOABC5QXjiTFswXMPva9iiw&mra=ltm&sll=42.691775,-71.102655&sspn=0.055516,0.165825&ie=UTF8&ll=42.694422,-71.099052&spn=0.055514,0.165825&t=h&z=13[/url]
[i]3.9 miles of sheer terror.[/i]
EDIT: Should probably mention Destination A is the restaurant, Destination B is my house.[/QUOTE]
I don't think putting your home address on Facepunch is a good idea.
Poured ketchup into my drinking glass.
[QUOTE=AwesomeCanadian;26559172]I don't think putting your home address on Facepunch is a good idea.[/QUOTE]
Feel free to come visit me.
[QUOTE=AwesomeCanadian;26559172]I don't think putting your home address on Facepunch is a good idea.[/QUOTE]
I don't really think it matters as long as he hasn't done anything to piss people off.
The first time I even posted the map it didn't even put my real address, I mistyped and it rounded numbers to my neighbor a few houses down.
Go to bathroom
See toilet seat open
close it
flush by habit.
Talking out loud to myself. Thinking I was alone.
To find out my sister was at home. :ohdear:
That's not the bad thing, it's all the non-sense I was saying.
Typing something and getting a word wrong like 8 times before you get it right.
Typing a long sentence and erasing the entire thing without thinking because of a single misspelled word, then forgetting what it was you had written.
Forgetting to savor delicious food.
:smith:
[QUOTE=BeAR!);26565158]Leaving my dog outside a shop tied to a lamp post and remembering but only when i got home. And i done the same but with a pepsi.[/QUOTE]
Why would you tie your pepsi to a lamp post?
Getting home from work, trying to open the door, won't open.
Deadbolt must be locked, but I don't remember locking it that morning because I never lock it.
Wife must have locked it on her way out to work for some reason.
Went around back and tried to open the back door. Locked.
Spent 45 mins digging around in my shed and drilling the lock on the back door.
Only to get inside and realize that neither door was locked. Just stuck shut from the cold.
Note: I live in a very rural area, nobody locks their doors out here.
Shit, this happened today:
So, there's a lot of snow here (like in most parts of the world). Anyway, while waiting for the bus, I thought it would be funny to throw a snowball. So, I randomly throw it somewhere, and it lands on some teacher.
The problem was, she was pregnant, and I hit her on the stomach.
:saddowns:
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