• Derp moments.
    966 replies, posted
Take off pajamas to get dressed, wear pajamas again and vice versa
Sometimes, after drinking coffee with milk, I pour some Coca Cola into the same mug, freeze for a moment, then proceed to pour some milk into it, then think "The fuck did I just do?" And this one has been permanently recorded into my friends brain: During elementary school, I was walking home with my friend, really tired. My friend managed to convince me that I was one of those dinosaurs that attack their enemies with their thick skull. In my confused state, I mistook a big dumpster to be my arch-enemy and slammed head first into it, passing out from the blow. I woke up later in a hospital, and just wouldn't believe my friend when he told me what had happened. One time during High School, I was returning my cutlery after lunch and my friend told me something. My brain decided to make this life-changing sentence the top priority, causing my hands to act on their own and throw ALL of my cutlery into the dumpster next to me. I just stood there for a while, then silently walked away. And a lot more.
I woke up really tired [sp]and depressed[/sp] somehow fully convinced that my life was all a HL2 mod.
Sometimes forgetting how to breathe. I almost died, twice :(
Teacher: YOU THERE, BE QUIET Me: So like I was saying hurp derp blah blah... ...awkward silence... You mean me? [editline]16th December 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=Raptortheawesome;26722028]I woke up really tired [sp]and depressed[/sp] somehow fully convinced that my life was all a HL2 mod.[/QUOTE] I had a dream that everyone had dirt in their socks for health reasons, and that you needed worms to clean the dirt. I invented special worms that were really thin so they didnt tickle you. I woke up and took an hour to convince myself that nobody put dirt in their socks.
I had been up for like 27 hours and I went to take a bath. I turned on the water and was just staring at the tub for a solid half hour, thinking "What the fuck is wrong with my goddamn TUB? WHY WON'T IT FILL?" I hadn't put the plug in the drain. :v: [editline]15th December 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=Raptortheawesome;26722028]I woke up really tired [sp]and depressed[/sp] somehow fully convinced that my life was all a HL2 mod.[/QUOTE]How can you convince yourself your life is an HL2 mod so easily? I've tried. The same faults kept hitting me. 1.) There is no 100 Health in the corner. 2.) The voice acting does not suck enough ass to be a mod. 3.) When I tripped and fell down the stairs I didn't hear a cool female voice say "Minor lacerations detected" 4.) When I "started" the mod I didn't examine my hands randomly. (Putting on HEV suit, anyone?)
I was pouring some cereal into a cup, and thought to myself "If I spilled this it would make a big mess." And then I very carefully proceeded to return the cereal box, and then knock over the cup.
Spent a year and a half trying to make a Facepunch account [editline]16th December 2010[/editline] I'm not shitting you [editline]16th December 2010[/editline] It turned out I entered my email wrong like a billion times, so I never got a confirmation email. But one day, I succeeded.
A few days ago I got a sub from a local sub place with some Sweet Italian sauce on the side. I go to dump the sauce on the sub like I normally do, but instead I shove my whole hand in the sauce and overturn my sub and all of its contents go allover my table.
I sat down in the shower for some reason, then stood up way too fast and passed out from the head-rush. I woke up sitting in an awkward position with the water still running, the curtain pulled halfway open, and the faucet bent sideways. Also my head hurt, so I assume I bent the faucet with my head on the way down. I did it again later, on purpose this time, and pulled the shower curtain all the way off when I passed out.
I went to the kitchen to make myself some cereal. What we had was our cereal in large tubs. I got out the bowl and spoon, and pored the cereal into the bowl. Then I took the milk out of the fridge and poured about a quarter of the jug into the tub that held the rest of the cereal. It took me about 7 seconds to realize that I just ruined an entire tub of cereal. Then I tried to pour the milk back out, thinking that I could fix it.
username fits
"Where the fuck is my?- oh, its in my hand" :doh:
Once I walked into a restaurant where we'd ordered breakfast to pick it up, but when I asked for it, they said they didn't have an order for me. The waitress checked the orders, asked the chefs, the clerks, checked the phone logs, etc. Then when there was nothing left to check, she came back to me and said they didn't have our order anywhere. Then I remembered, the restaurant we ordered from was across the street. Oops.
Running inside to be knocked down on my butt by a clean glass sliding door.
[QUOTE=Recaldy;26731294]Running inside to be knocked down on my butt by a clean glass sliding door.[/QUOTE] I walked into (and damaged) a mirror at footlocker once. I thought it was a doorway :saddowns: [editline]16th December 2010[/editline] Luckily none of the employees saw me, and there were no cameras, so I didn't have to pay :ninja:
I've done the same thing at a store. Luckily I didn't break the mirror though. The employee who was watching me walk past died of laughter though...
A year ago, when I was together with my girlfriend for two days we were sitting on her couch and watching some television. After a while I wanted to put my arms over her shoulder and squeeze her shoulder, so I put my hand over her shoulder but accidently squeezed her tit without noticing. And she was like: "wat?" and I was like "Ehm, nice". Great day.
Walking in from the cold and my glasses steam up, I put them up to my forehead so I can see. Minutes later I will begin asking if anyone has seen my glasses. Nobody tells me they have seen them. This happens far too often. Edit: Also, in a maze of mirrors there was a long corridor to the exit, which has a big sign saying 'Exit' above it. I was racing friends through the maze and was ahead of them, saw the sign and sprinted down the corridor, my friends turned into that corridor just in time to see me smash my face into a plexi-glass wall.
I blew a candle out too close and the wax blew into my face, derp
Falling on non-slippery ice. You really stop and think about the universe when things like this happen
Oh god oh god I feel so bad guys. A girl I know got suspended for false charges, and came back to school today. I saw her in the hallway and put her hood over her head from behind. IT WASNT HER. and I paused too long and missed the "im sorry, wrong person" window. I'm not shy or nervous, and if she ever sees me again and asks me about I'll be smooth enough to go "Maybe you shouldn't look like people I know" but god damn my heart was racing.
Sometimes in class I'll look for my hat. I'm pretty protective of my hats, and don't enjoy having others wear or even touch them. Normally in classes where kids sitting near me find the need to be 12 year old brats, I place the hat on my knee. So I lean down to check and make sure it hasn't fallen on the floor. It's not there, so I check the sides of the desk. Not there. I look to the kid on my right, one of the more annoying brats around me and ask him what he did. He smiled and said he didn't do a thing. I tell him to stop being a "dumb fucker" and he won't get anywhere in life with the way he treats others and presents himself. He reaches upward, and taps hard enough on the brim of my hand to bring it down so I could see it. His grin gets even more smug and he just turns around and goes back to listening to the teacher.
I once forgot how to spell the Dutch equivalents of simple words like "and" or "or" on an exam (they're both two-letter words). I spent like 15 minutes or more trying to remember by translating them into English and back. With little result :saddowns: [editline]18th December 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=junker|154;26733583]A year ago, when I was together with my girlfriend for two days we were sitting on her couch and watching some television. After a while I wanted to put my arms over her shoulder and squeeze her shoulder, so [B]I put my hand over her shoulder but accidently squeezed her tit[/B] without noticing. And she was like: "wat?" and I was like "Ehm, nice". Great day.[/QUOTE] I did this when dancing with a girl. Accidentally, mind you. We started dating a few weeks later.
Physical Education class, training with an Indiaca. I was swinging my arm like crazy to get it to follow a straight trajectory, was practicing auto-passing (The amount of people there was an odd number), There was someone behind me and I was touching her ass every time I swang my arm to hit the feathered thingamajig. When I turned around... It was a girl I like. You know what's the best part? She didn't give a shit.
When I'm talking (especially with my gf) I just am normally talking then I just start saying stupid gibberish shit,oh god It's so goddamn annoying,like either I somehow kinda combine words or it's just absolutely gibberish
Winter of 2009. The porch steps are covered in ice, so I assure myself that I will not go out the front door and take the back instead. Of course I'm thinking this while walking out the front door. Ow.
I accidentally resetted my phone settings, that were working for 4 years. [b]HERP A DERPA HERP A DERP A HERP DERP DURF HURF DERP HERP HERP DERP HURF HURF DURF HERPA DERPY DERPY HERPA HERPY DERPA HERPA DERPY HERPA DERPY DERPY HERPY HERPY DERPY DERPY HERPA DERPA DERP[/b]
I once wanted to go outside while it was hailing. I got hit by a buncha hailstones. HERPA DERP DERP
Had just finished world 3 in Braid (In this world, time goes forward if you move forward, and vice versa) It was about 1 AM and I was talking to my bro. He said something I didn't hear and instead of saying "could you repeat that" I just walked backwards. He looked at me like "wtf" and I was like "speak, goddamnit". [editline]18th December 2010[/editline] And once at a gaming expo I saw my friend at one of the monters. It was the PS3 monter and you could win a PS3 obv. ( I actually won but that's another story). I grabbed my friend in the arm, pulled him away from the monter and started discussing tactics on how to win. After 2 minutes of rambling I look up and it was some random dude I've never seen before. Most embarassing thing I've ever done.
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